359 posts
Latest Posts by agetman88 - Page 3
Hi! You want me to die for being a Californian male?
Take me down to the Fat Boy City where the tums are fat and the boys have tiddies
Just checking!
This person clearly doesn’t belong here. From Ask Historians on Reddit.
Reblog to make him lose another 200 billion, like to make him lose 1 billion
ITS MARCH YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS
ET TU, BOOTAY? ⁉️🍑⁉️ The PRIDES 🏳️🌈🏳️⚧🇨🇦 of March 🗓🗓️ has CUM 👉👌🍆💦💦💦 DADDY 💋😍😏 Brutus is our new DICKtator 🍆💦🥔💦 thanks to all our SENATE SLUTS 🔪🩸🔪🩸🔪🩸who BUSTED their nuts ‼️‼️🥜🥜💥💥 on juliASS' 🍑🙏😩 back 2️⃣3️⃣ times ⏰⏰ let's make a SEXY salad 💦🥗💥 in HONOR 🙏🙌🙏 of this BOOTYful day 🍑🍑💦😩💦🍑 send this to 6️⃣0️⃣ of your BEST 😖😏😍 SENATE SLUTS 🏛️🏛️🏛️👉👌💦 get 5️⃣ back and you're a CERTIFIED CUMMY CUTIE 💦😏💦😏😍 get 1️⃣5️⃣ back and you're DADDY 😩😚😘❤️ Brutus' little right hand ✋😉💕😫😫😫✋💦 conspirator 😖😱😖😱💋💞💖 Get 2️⃣3️⃣ back and you're a certified BACK 🍑😖👋😩🍑🍑🍑 STABBER 🔪🔪🔪🔪🩸🩸🩸🩸
this blog hates donald trump
Look how many people hate him. I’m pretty damn happy about that 😁😁😁😁😁😁
honestly the discourse on this site is so bad that I have a new hot take: if you use tumblr at all fuck you
A group of far-future linguists and archeologists suddenly *poof* into existence in front of me. One is holding a tablet. "What is the difference between 'red sauce' and 'tomato sauce?'" they ask me. "The distinction is not clear in extant texts from this time and place."
"Uh, they're the same thing," I tell them. "Who are you?"
"Yes!" the being with the tablet exclaims.
One of the other researchers groans. "No! My thesis...months of writing wasted..." One of the others comforts them.
"Now, what is this object for?" The first researcher holds up a discolored, dinged-up plastic object. It's clearly been buried in the ground for quite some time, but the two holes and the scuffed plastic window are distinctive.
"That's a cassette tape. You record music with it."
"Interesting, interesting." The being enters something on the tablet.
"How are you speaking English?"
"Sophisticated translation technology," one of the researchers confides. "We are students of your society. From the future."
"What does this pictogram represent?" The researcher with the tablet turns it around so that the screen faces me.
It's the eggplant emoji.
"Sex," I say. "Why do you need to ask me this if you can time travel or whatever? Can't you just go wherever you want to go and look around and see how these things are being used?"
The beings shift guiltily and look at each other. "Technically, travel to times and places prior the advent of time travel is strictly prohibited. Paradoxes, you know."
"Oh."
"We must get back before our advisor returns to the lab. Just don't tell anyone you saw us, alright? The space-time continuity depends on it. Can you do that?"
"Uh, sure, I guess?"
One of them pats me on the head. "And don't go to Mars."
"Okay. Wait, why? Is it dangerous?"
"No. Just not worth it."
The group disappears in a shimmering light.
The cassette clatters to the sidewalk behind them.
Out of befuddlement, mainly, I pick it up. It's clearly old, discolored and scuffed, but it still has tape in it.
I carry the tape around in my pocket for a while. The curiosity builds. I want to know what's on that tape. I don't have a cassette player anymore, so I go to Goodwill and pick up the first one I can find, praying that it still works. I plug it in. It turns on.
I slide the tape inside. It's dirty, but it still seems to be in decent shape. I snap the player closed and hit play. The wheels begin to turn. I hold my breath.
A familiar tune starts up. A wobbly voice comes out of the machine.
We're no strangers to love
oh you like history? name everything that ever happened
With the ides of march fast approaching we must be prepared
Please reblog to make sure everyone is equipped!
I really don't care if Miley Cyrus smoked a bong. She's 18? She can live her own life...
happy friday gays
i'd rather see 1000 graffiti penises than 1 product billboard. i'd live in dick city if it meant i could avoid advertisements in my daily life.
🐈⬛📦
"There's millions of Tumblr users" to you. To me There's only about 12 and we all reblog the same five posts from each other
seeing straight men be disgusted by booktok smut recommenders has actually radicalized me to the side of booktok smut recommenders. girls your taste may be atrocious but i will never disparage you for exposing mainstream discourse to the concept of soaking through your underwear. spent my whole life listening to men talk about penises it’s about time they get jumpscared by women talking about pussy in crude detail on social media. go forth and goon my warriors
Boss is asleep, cannot stop me from frogposting
can yoy make tumble explode
On February 23rd, 2031 tumblr will indeed explode
Tom Holland does Rihanna’s “Umbrella” on Lip Sync Battle
In regards of the Trump government scraping all trans inclusion in its queer information portion of its websites I have made this thing. Spread the word. Don't let them pretend we never existed.
P.S: Don't like! Reblog! <3
