Sometimes I Remember That Suguru Has Literally Been Dead Since The Beginning Of Jjk And It Makes Me Feel

sometimes i remember that suguru has literally been dead since the beginning of jjk and it makes me feel physically ill. like. we never got him back. not once. that was never him. it was always kenjaku in his skin, wearing his face, using his voice. and everyone just went along with it. and gojo went along with it. because what was he supposed to do?? watch his best friend's body walk around and pretend he doesn't feel like he's 17 again, failing all over again??

it’s not even a “they fell apart” kind of tragedy. it’s so much worse. suguru died, and then got turned into a puppet, and then gojo had to keep living in a world where his best friend’s corpse was smiling at him. talking to him. looking at him like nothing ever happened. you know how violating that is??? how soul-crushing it must’ve been to hear that voice and know it wasn’t him?? that his suguru was long gone and all that was left was a cruel joke played by the universe???

kenjaku didn’t just take his body, he took everything. his identity, his name, his legacy. made a mockery of it. reduced him to a vessel. and gojo could never do anything about it. he couldn’t kill him, not really. not without killing suguru all over again. and the worst part is that he hesitated. he always hesitated. because he kept hoping—kept hoping—that maybe there was something left. that maybe, just maybe, suguru was still in there. listening. waiting.

and that is the most heartbreaking thing. gojo never moved on. he couldn’t. he never even got the chance to grieve properly because the body never went cold. the body kept moving. kept smiling. kept killing.

suguru never got to rest.

and gojo never got to let go.

and in the end… they were both just trapped. one in a body that wasn’t his, the other in a memory he couldn’t escape.

no peace. no closure. just echoes and rot.

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3 months ago

Nosferatu (2024) is unquestionably a multifaceted work, but what I personally consider to be the unifying idea behind its facets is that, for Ellen, Orlok represents validation.

Her fears are dismissed and called childish?.. He's a nightmarish manifestation of them.

She is consistently disrespected by everyone around her?.. He considers her his only equal. She never uses his title, it's permitted.

She is told to fix herself, misunderstood, and always isolated?.. He knows all the darkest parts of her and is delighted by them. He wants her just as she is, so much that he will lie, kill, and cross the ocean to find her.

The scene in their death/wedding bed is a direct parallel to the scene of her waking in that bed at the beginning of the film. She complains to Thomas that the "honeymoon is yet too short" and tries to pull him down with a kiss - however, he is worried about being late for work, and so he extricates himself and leaves. Cut forward to her sharing the same bed with Orlok, similarly early in the morning; he is startled by cock-crow and begins to rise, but she guides his head back down - and, even though he knows that he will die, he stays. He is her sexual and emotional desire, realized.

Given that there is a plethora of emotions Ellen is forced to suppress on daily basis, there is no singular correct interpretation of her relationship with Orlok. To erase any one of them is to render it shallower than it actually is; but there is no doubt as to why their attachment is mutual. To each, the other is something they’ve never had before.

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