My Boyfriend Was On The Phone With His Dad Yesterday So I Went Out To Sit On The Patio To Pet The Geese

My boyfriend was on the phone with his dad yesterday so I went out to sit on the patio to pet the geese and play on my phone for a bit, and while out there I came across a comic of baby Grimace (yes, that Grimace) being sad because everyone hated his milkshake and saying he wished he never had a birthday. Then there was a follow up where tons of people had commented saying they loved the shake and wished Grimace a happy birthday, and that made him happy again.

This, for whatever reason, emotionally devastated me. I was sobbing. I was ugly crying so bad that even the geese waddled away side-eyeing me.

After a while my bf yelled from inside, "Okay, you ready for dinner?" and I was forced to accept I had to go back in the house a defeated sniffly little wreck.

My boyfriend, who has only ever seen me cry once in the whole year we've been together, looked horrorstruck. He assumed the worst. Someone got hurt. Something was wrong with my family. Someone was mean to me (a cardinal sin). The panic that washed over his face was unparalleled.

He, upon seeing me, (somewhat theatrically) rushed over and grabbed me by the shoulders. "What's wrong, what happened? Are you okay?" he asked, frantic. "What is it?"

I realized how ridiculous the whole situation was and just shook my head.

He was growing more panicked. "What is it? Why are you crying?"

I then had to stand there and look him, this completely normal human being, in the eyes, and blurt out "Grimace"

Confused silence followed.

"....Grimace?"

I nodded.

"...The McDonalds guy...thing?"

I nodded.

"What...what did...Grimace...do to you?"

I then tearfully recounted the silly internet comic that had absolutely broken my heart. And this poor guy--this poor, wonderfully sweet, nice, patient guy--kindly stood there trying to figure out how to comfort me that Grimace was not, in fact, sad. (Nevermind that he's a corporate mascot who isn't real)

This morning my phone rang just after 5am. It was my boyfriend. It was my turn to panic, to assume the worst.

I didn't even have time to say hello before he started excitedly yelling, "Look at the TikTok I just sent you! Look! Open it!"

Confused and not entirely convinced I wasn't still asleep, I opened the TikTok.

My Boyfriend Was On The Phone With His Dad Yesterday So I Went Out To Sit On The Patio To Pet The Geese

An official release from McDonalds confirming Grimace (who still isn't real) did, in fact, feel special on his birthday.

More Posts from Benhartley and Others

3 weeks ago
From
From
From
From
From
From
From
From
From
From
From
From
From

From

Had a piece of microfiction burning a hole in my brain for a few days.

---

"So why do bad things happen to good people?"

The god sighed. "You don't want the answer to that."

"I really do."

"Well, the baseline is... as above, so below."

"I don't follow."

— Find Nome on Bluesky (@NomeDaBarbarian) August 5, 2022
1 year ago
For Any Writers: http://er.jsc.nasa.gov/seh/SFTerms.html

For any writers: http://er.jsc.nasa.gov/seh/SFTerms.html

For more facts, follow Ultrafacts

2 years ago
benhartley - ASW (912)
benhartley - ASW (912)
benhartley - ASW (912)
benhartley - ASW (912)
benhartley - ASW (912)
benhartley - ASW (912)

the hardest lines ALWAYS come from fanfics and I stand by this

The Hardest Lines ALWAYS Come From Fanfics And I Stand By This
The Hardest Lines ALWAYS Come From Fanfics And I Stand By This
The Hardest Lines ALWAYS Come From Fanfics And I Stand By This
The Hardest Lines ALWAYS Come From Fanfics And I Stand By This
The Hardest Lines ALWAYS Come From Fanfics And I Stand By This
The Hardest Lines ALWAYS Come From Fanfics And I Stand By This
The Hardest Lines ALWAYS Come From Fanfics And I Stand By This
The Hardest Lines ALWAYS Come From Fanfics And I Stand By This
The Hardest Lines ALWAYS Come From Fanfics And I Stand By This
The Hardest Lines ALWAYS Come From Fanfics And I Stand By This

(credit to the authors!! I can't remember where exactly they all came from but if u recognise their work pls tag them :) they deserve way more recognition!!)

1 year ago

Say what you want about the 2023 Shakespeare in The Park production of Hamlet, but the choices made in that play WORKED. Having Hamlet wear a black hoodie and camo pants and him dramatically putting his hood up when he was pissed off was inspired. Having Horatio video tape Claudius on an iPhone camera from the side of the stage during the play within the play was hilarious. Having the play within the play be a hip hop dance number that represented the murder!?! Fantastic. Having Ophelia be a singer before she went mad and having a beautiful voice that everyone loved to listen to and then seeing her singing get worse and worse as she got nearer to death?!?! Hamlet pulling out his iphone after killing Polonius to show his mom a picture of his dad compared to a picture of Claudius and angrily swiping back and forth between the two as he said “What judgement would step from this… to this?” The crowd fucking lost it every time. Horatio singing to Hamlet as he died made me fully sob every time. The way they did the ghost on stage was so chilling and I can’t even accurately describe it, you just had to be there. Hamlet being deeply exasperated the entire time was just perfect. Hamlet and Horatio had a secret handshake. Laertes inexplicably carried an acoustic guitar case for much of the play which was very funny but also hit you with the heartbreaking implication that he had used to play while Ophelia sang and he stopped carrying it after she died. It was peak teenage-angst-hamlet and it was so dear to me. PLEASE if anyone has a recording, send it to me.

6 months ago

made a uquiz

1 year ago

BBC GHOSTS S5 GDRIVE

Here is the link to my google drive, with Ghosts s5!

Only episodes 1 & 4 are up so far, but 2 is going up as we speak and then the rest will follow.

Feel free to share this around, but if you use it, a reblog would be much appreciated so that other people can also use this!

1 year ago
On This Day One Year Ago Someone Sewed A Fried Egg To A Tshirt

on this day one year ago someone sewed a fried egg to a tshirt

1 year ago

ok since i don't think i've seen any semi-comprehensive lists of the tumblr holidays for the reddit refugees, here it is.

IT JUST HAPPENS

DAY 15 GIVE IT UP FOR DAY 15

Thursday the 20th

The Fifth of Wednesday

Sometime in June: That One Halloween Post Starts Circulating

Sometime in July: Dancing Pumpkin Man Video/Gif

WEEKLY EVENTS

Every Monday: El Muchacho Monday

Every Tuesday: Tuesday Again? No Problem...

Every Wednesday: Wet Beast Wednesday

Every Thursday: Out of Touch Thursday

Every Friday: Flat Fuck Friday

Every Saturday: Don't @ Me, I'm Chilling/Caturday

Every Sunday: Fingers In His Ass Sunday

YEARLY EVENTS

January 16: Appreciate a Dragon Day

January 29: Threshold Day

All of February: Funguary

February 14: Aromantic/Asexual Day

March 9: Miku Day

March 10: Mario Day

March 14: Pi Day

March 15: Ides of March

March 23: Ever Given Got Stuck Today

April 1: Mishapocalypse

April 2: Dashcon Announcement Anniversary

April 3: Dannypocalypse

April 8: Rex Manning Day

ALSO April 8: MARGARET THATCHER IS DEAD

April 13: Neil Banging Out The Tunes

ALSO April 13: Homestuck Day

April 20: haha 420 blaze it

April 25: The Perfect Date

April 28: Ed Balls Day

April 30: It's Gonna Be May

All of May: Mermay

May 3: Beginning of Dracula Daily

May 4: May the 4th Be With You

May 5: Revenge of the Fifth

May 25: The Glorious 25th of May

All of June: Pride Month

ALSO All of June: IT'S HALLOWEEN TIME TO GET SPOOKY

June 5: Barricade Day

June 16: Let Papyrus Say Fuck

July 20: Moon Landing

September 8: The Queen Is Dead and Sans Undertale Killed Her

September 21: DO YOU REMEMBER-

All of October: SKELETON WAR

ALSO All of October: Inktober

October 3: Mean Girls Day

ALSO October 3: Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood Day

October 20: Unnecessary Feelings Day

October 31: HALLOWEEN

November 5: honestly what didn't happen that day

November 19: Goncharov

All of December: Will the Gävle Goat Get Destroyed Again?

December 10: Please, It's Christmas

December 24: ALMOST CHRISTMAS MEANS IT WASN'T CHRISTMAS

  • thebottomleftcorner
    thebottomleftcorner reblogged this · 2 weeks ago
  • krokodile
    krokodile reblogged this · 2 weeks ago
  • zoroslover
    zoroslover reblogged this · 3 weeks ago
  • level1cleric
    level1cleric liked this · 3 weeks ago
  • yao-oh-no
    yao-oh-no reblogged this · 3 weeks ago
  • doctorjoshua
    doctorjoshua reblogged this · 1 month ago
  • unsureprincess
    unsureprincess reblogged this · 1 month ago
  • clev3r-url
    clev3r-url reblogged this · 1 month ago
  • myst1cm0th
    myst1cm0th liked this · 1 month ago
  • myst1cm0th
    myst1cm0th reblogged this · 1 month ago
  • occult-cupcakes
    occult-cupcakes reblogged this · 1 month ago
  • thevoicedifferent
    thevoicedifferent liked this · 1 month ago
  • devoureroftoast
    devoureroftoast reblogged this · 1 month ago
  • devoureroftoast
    devoureroftoast liked this · 1 month ago
  • catboymettaton
    catboymettaton reblogged this · 1 month ago
  • writing-biting
    writing-biting reblogged this · 1 month ago
  • writing-biting
    writing-biting liked this · 1 month ago
  • moooth
    moooth liked this · 1 month ago
  • ghastly-ghostly-stars
    ghastly-ghostly-stars reblogged this · 1 month ago
  • ghastly-ghostly-stars
    ghastly-ghostly-stars liked this · 1 month ago
  • thefirstanomally
    thefirstanomally reblogged this · 1 month ago
  • peony-pipebomb
    peony-pipebomb liked this · 1 month ago
  • summersunqueen
    summersunqueen liked this · 1 month ago
  • thecaptainsassistant
    thecaptainsassistant reblogged this · 2 months ago
  • thecaptainsassistant
    thecaptainsassistant liked this · 2 months ago
  • weevilsart
    weevilsart liked this · 2 months ago
  • frostedmeats
    frostedmeats reblogged this · 2 months ago
  • stanzicapparatireplayers
    stanzicapparatireplayers reblogged this · 2 months ago
  • stanzicapparatireplayers
    stanzicapparatireplayers liked this · 2 months ago
  • thegreatarrodes
    thegreatarrodes liked this · 2 months ago
  • princeofclockwork
    princeofclockwork reblogged this · 2 months ago
  • hades129
    hades129 reblogged this · 2 months ago
  • a-magical-boy
    a-magical-boy reblogged this · 2 months ago
  • itsame-sesame
    itsame-sesame liked this · 2 months ago
  • coyote-daniels
    coyote-daniels reblogged this · 2 months ago
  • rosadavidii
    rosadavidii liked this · 2 months ago
  • vaporwaveparent
    vaporwaveparent liked this · 2 months ago
  • instantlyglitteryturtle
    instantlyglitteryturtle reblogged this · 2 months ago
  • instantlyglitteryturtle
    instantlyglitteryturtle liked this · 2 months ago
  • locally-normal
    locally-normal liked this · 2 months ago
  • darlingdeerlings
    darlingdeerlings liked this · 2 months ago
  • brahey
    brahey liked this · 2 months ago
  • zydratenote
    zydratenote reblogged this · 2 months ago
  • okeanos-ocean
    okeanos-ocean liked this · 2 months ago
  • chibikuroneko13
    chibikuroneko13 reblogged this · 2 months ago
  • lokebrenna
    lokebrenna reblogged this · 2 months ago
  • dawgsprite
    dawgsprite reblogged this · 2 months ago
  • dawgsprite
    dawgsprite liked this · 2 months ago
benhartley - ASW (912)
ASW (912)

Sometimes in a crowded mallI realize that everyone has a life of their ownAnd it’s like seeing infinity ignoring itself.

199 posts

Explore Tumblr Blog
Search Through Tumblr Tags