Not Your Puppet

Spent

As I walk, it feels heavy

I know this won't make me happy

So, though I want to continue the show

I turned my back without letting them know

Maybe I'll put an end to this tonight

And accept that I lost this fight

For I can't go and pretend anymore

I can't continue banging on these doors

The fog is covering my mind

The exit is something I cannot find

So I will simply make my own

When I leave this world at dawn.

Lies

I was watching the moon up in the sky

As I sat up and sigh

I told the stars I'm letting you go

That it hurts, but I have to grow

I hope the whispered message reaches you

I forgive you and I'll learn to forgive myself too

Though I know I'll miss you forever

I accepted that things end, connections sever

And I wish, I wish someday when we meet

I can smile and say I'm happy without lying through my teeth.

Guest

I've swallowed my pride and spat my feelings out

Told you things no one cares to know about

You knocked down my walls and I stripped my armor

Opened the windows, welcomed you to my doors

We were happy, explored the rooms together

Built new ones, through the gardens we wander

Yet as I offer you a permanent place, you refuse

You're my story but I'm not your muse

Told me you were only having fun and passing through

A temporary shelter, until you find someplace better suited for you.

My pieces are scattered all over the place

Lost my mask, lost my face

Yet my heart remembers how it beats for you

The past, the future we drew

The corners are filled with your ghost

I kept what I only hoped to lost.

Played

Tears racing down my cheeks

I'm trying to find the words but I can't speak

My hands tightly clutching your shirt

Your eyes full of confidence and mirth

Here's another girl running after you

Foolish enough to believe that your promises were true

You smirked and pried me away

Saying, I'm too boring to make you stay

With that, you turned your back

An offhand comment wishing me luck

My knees buckled as I accept defeat

This is karma, so swift and sweet.

Ruthless

My heart aches as you walk near

You, who've once taken everything I held dear

You have some nerve to come to me

When you made certain to ruin who I could be

Are you here to gloat, parade your victory?

I want to go, but you won't set me free

And I'm tired, I have nothing left to give

I wish you wouldn't come back once you leave.

Disillusioned

Looking back, I thought you might have seen the good in me

And you tried to bring it out so I could also see

But that was only a flicker, something that flared your hopes up

And I knew that, so I asked you to stop

I'm broken that time and I couldn't trust anybody

Yet you insisted that it'll not be bad as I thought it would be

And for a bit of time, it seems okay

Until I can no more keep my demons in bay

I turned out to be a monster and you saw it

I punished you for the past I was burden with

I got you confused on with the truths and the lies

Having enough, you flee and bid me goodbye

And still, I wish I hadn't let you see,

That there's still good left in me

Maybe then, you wouldn't keep your hopes up

Saving us the time and pain, if you have stopped.

Bittersweet

I hear the rain softly tapping on the window

As I slumber and continue to burrow

In my blankets, blocking the noise with my pillow

I can still hear your twinkling laugh, see you glow

And I can't open my eyes yet and go

For in these fragments of dreams, I can make you stay

Make myself believe that you never say

Goodbye, and forget that fateful day

Forget your broken promise, that you ever went away.