Thorin: How Do I Make A Date Really Romantic?

‘You’d like to know what they’re talking about, wouldn’t you?’ ‘Yes . . . No! And anyway . . . Anyway, I can’t hear anything. They’re too far away.’ ‘I’ll tell you,’ laughed the bard. ‘If you want.’ ‘And how are you supposed to know?’ ‘Ha, ha. I, my dear Ciri, am a poet. Poets know everything about things like this. I’ll tell you something else; poets know more about this sort of thing than the people involved do.’ ‘Of course you do!’ ‘I give you my word. The word of a poet.’ ‘Really? Well then . . . Tell me what they’re talking about? Tell me what it all means!’ THE WITCHER: SEASON 3 EPISODE 4 | A TIME OF CONTEMPT: CHAPTER 2

he’s got a point.

My new favorite Merlin AU is that Merlin finally confesses to Arthur about his magic, but Merlin is too flustered to think straight and there’s some miscommunication.

What Merlin says: I have magic 😔

What Merlin thinks he said: I am a powerful sorcerer and I use my magic every day to protect you and all of Camelot. We are two sides of the same coin, our destinies forever intertwined. Spare me and I will help you become the once and future king.

What Arthur hears: I know a few cantrips. Please don’t kill me.

So Arthur eventually comes to terms with Merlin knowing some magic and things kinda go back to normal except Merlin starts using minor spells in front of Arthur to speed up chores.

But then while Arthur is working to legalize magic (because of course he would) and make reparations to magic users, he asks Merlin to accompany him to a meeting with the Druids. Arthur asks the Druids to nominate a court sorcerer and they just look at him confused like

Druids: why not ask the great sorcerer Emrys?

Arthur: ok where do I find him?

Druids: points to Merlin sitting 1 foot away

Arthur: why did you hide this vital information from me!?

Merlin: … I did tell you, didn’t I? Whoops

Bonus

Arthur: Gwen! Knights! Merlin is the most powerful sorcerer to ever live! Can you believe it?

Everyone … yeah. We saw him shooting Lightning while riding a dragon just last week.

Arthur:🫨…😐

Thorin just making Bilbo his wife before they even leave on the quest 😳

was messing with some fake tweet makers and the idea that dick just uses twitter to compliment and flirt with himself hit me and i couldn’t stop til i made it.

Bagginshield + Frodo out shopping on Black Friday 🛒💨(Lobelia’s nightmare)

i just realized Radovid didn’t just become the lover of a bard - he became the lover of one of the most famous bards of the Continent who is incredibly well known for his songs he writes based on his love and heartbreak brought on by A Guy He Loved Who Broke His Heart. imagine you were a prince and your kingdom’s spy network was like "hey there’s this bard spy we’re using for his ties to the Literal Two Most Important People to the Future of the Continent" and then you’re like. that’s fucking taylor swift.

insp.

A collaborative project with @fantasyinallforms (the story can be found here) for @fellowshipofthefics.

This started off as a laugh but it quickly gained serial killer energy