catquarius

Latest Posts by catquarius

The magnificese of queen of tears is how heartbreakingly real its portrayal of true love is

You may not always like the person you love, hell you might even start to dislike that person but

You never stop caring

You never truly stop loving

That is what differentiates the once in a lifetime true love from infatuation or first love

It perseveres against all odds

It stays.

i know he is just a fictional person but i would do anything for him

yes girl you are so [if i loved you less i might be able to talk about it more] [hands are unbearably beautiful] [i'll take care of you it's rotten work not to me not if it's you] [if you are intolerable let me be the one to tolerate you] [i could recognise him by touch alone] [i love you i want us both to eat well] [on purpose i love you on purpose] [whatever our souls are made of his and mine are the same] [i am half agony half hope] [you have bewitched me body and soul and i love love love you] [he is half of my soul as the poets say] [i'm sick of people saying that love is all a woman is fit for but i'm so lonely] [i love you most ardently] [let me stay tender hearted despite despite despite] [someone has to leave first this is a very old story there is no other version of this story] [mostly i want to be kind] [tell me how all this and love too will ruin us] [you said i killed you haunt me then] [someone somewhere can you understand me a little love me a little] [i will love you as misfortune loves orphans as fire loves innocence and as justice loves to sit and watch while everything goes wrong] [sorry about the blood in your mouth i wish it was mine] [who will come into my kitchen and be hungry for me] can we kiss now

Learn to love reading and research I promise you’ll never be bored again

stacy szymaszek, a good job for a poet

— Fiona Apple

Omg you read regency romance??? I got hooked after bridgerton and thought it such a guilty pleasure as radleaning (I mean romance as a genre can be steeped in misogynistic tropes but there are some good eggs there) 😭😭😭 I was surprised to see you recommending devil in winter though I HATED the male lead in that book though he's generally a fan favourite.... kidnapping Lillian, calling Evie a bitch etc (in general I'm not much of a keypas fan, her male protagonists can be a bit too possessive alpha male for my taste)

I read all romance - historical, paranormal, urban fantasy, contemporary, etc.

Romance novels aren’t something to be ashamed off - it’s like being ashamed of enjoying watching Love Actually at Christmas. Romance novels are the largest genre of fiction.

Do romance novels contain things that are anti-feminist? Yeah. So does 99% of all other literature. I don’t read any with bdsm or other things that normally extreme pain, limited mobility, punishment, etc for the heroine. But just don’t read those. You’re actually more likely to find libfem stuff than anything like in an Eggers novel.

As for Devil in Winter - it is quite literally the best villain to hero trope in a historical romance ever. Second to being the best example of the trope in the genre in general only to Kresley Cole’s Lothaire.

He’s my fave Kleypas hero because he has the best hero’s journey - he goes from being a total lout to coming into responsibility. But I understand why he’s be hated!! If you want to find more books you’d like try keeping date of publication in mind:

Kleypas started writing before 2000 - which means her heroes are always going to be influenced by Julie Garwood, Johanna Lindsey, Kathleen Woodiwiss, Jude Devereaux, etc. This is the period of the OG alphahole heroes. During the 70s-80s women were facing significant economic challenges, workplaces actively hostile to their interests, backlash from men on a personal and professional level, and were being told they would never be able to get married. These heroes ALL: provide economically for the heroine, protect her from physical danger, give her elevated status, drop their backlash against women for the heroine, and marry and sexually satisfy the heroine. So these heroes had to be literally strong enough to “pull” the reader from the real world.

After 2000 until about 2007 you had the intermediary period. More women were in school, economics improved, women were living alone, and fear that marriage wouldn’t happen for you declined. These heroes became slightly softer - less kidnapping, more independence for the heroines (contemporary really started using birth control, heroines had their own careers and apartments). Writers that started before 2000 kept more alphas. The height of paranormal.

2008-2012: The Billionaire Years - economic anxiety and collapse causes women to seek out novels where the heroines are insulated against economic woes. Enter Beautiful Bastard and 50 Shades. These books also were when fanfic started producing conventional authors - and they brought bdsm from fic to the mainstream. Erotica (which usually bumps it’s heat “up” with bdsm) reveals the strain on marriages and relationships resulting in an inadequate sex life. Women seek it out in books.

2012-2019: Cinnamon roll heroes. Economic situation once again improves. Women don’t want the alphaholes any longer, heroines get feistier, romcoms break out everywhere.

Devil in Winter exemplifies the 2000 to 2007 period. St Vincent is a dick, but less of a dick than his 1982 predecessors. He ensures economic stability for Evie through managing her assets - an example of economic partnership relatively absent in romance still. But Evie is able to escape her abusive family (aka protection!). The novel is written masterfully - any professor teaching about romance novel structure would do well with DiW on the syllabus.

But since you hated him - try sticking to books published after 2012, 2014 especially. Also for the next years going forward I think alpha heroes will make a return. Already we see books written in 2020/2021 have fewer children. So as economic stress gets worse I think more billionaires, more protective heroes will once again emerge.

If you like Bridgerton I’d recommend Sarah MacLean, try her Bare Knuckle Bastards series or Bombshell (and skip Ewan’s book).

-William Wordsworth

anyone else have those mental illness days where it’s like doing anything beyond just watching videos or smth is just downright exhausting and really all you wanna do is sleep but that’s not an option so you just sit there and stare blankly at your screen for several hours

Defending the  Robin proposal

In the case of the storyline it worked - there’s poetic symbolism in the fact that we first see “the playbook” the episode after they break up in 5.07 and the last time Barney uses a play (I do not count the finale as existing as it is a OOC mess written back in 2006) to get the girl he wants to marry.

Part of it also is because it is Robin. It’s Robin, who has known (and has been in love) with Barney for years - but is too scared to admit it or go for it because she’s afraid she’ll lose him and be even more heartbroken. This is Barney’s way of saying “this is me, this is who I am, I love you, I hope you want me, forever now.” Robin’s known Barney for nearly 8 years, she understands this.

Also note the last step is not Barney getting the girl. The last step is “hope she says yes,” Robin has every right to say no (again, contrast this to Ted who pretty much tries to force Robin to date him in 1.24), she knows what Barney’s done, she knows which bits were a play - she knows how she’s been manipulated into this situation and can therefore separate it from the real feelings she feels. To me the proposal is saying “I want you, forever, or nothing.” (again, ignore the finale - the series doesn’t make sense with the finale) if Robin says “no,” he’ll stop going after her. The power is in Robin’s hands. All Barney has done is proven to her that she loves him and he loves her and he wants to be with her forever.

Randomabc

https://how-i-met-your-mother.fandom.com/wiki/The_Robin

and they lived happily ever after idc

God gave me social anxiety cause he knew i’d be unstoppable without it

Important messages in Young Royals that I don’t want overlooked because two boys kiss:

- the difficulty of growing up with ADHD and aspbergers (or other diagnoses that affect you). the fact that you say too much, or too little, and come off as someone not like everyone else. the way kids/teens usually go through life just trying to convince themselves they DON’T want friends and don’t need them when all they want is to be liked and not have to change who they are. something that affects so many kids today and it is shown in such a real, good, honest way in this show

- girls supporting girls in everything. the fact that felice supports sara, that madison tells so many people off for being rude to her girls and also is one hundred percent right and supportive about how august treats felice and doesn’t want that for her girl. we need this and it’s refreshing to see it in such a nice way without any kind of drama to it just for drama’s sake

- GIRLS PLAYING SPORTS. most girls stop playing sports at the age of 14 which is a big, big problem imo. to see here that the one playing football and wanting support is rosh, and that people GIVE it to her and show how fun she’s having is absolutely also an important thing to show. it made me absolutely so happy to see this get attention and i think people overlook the importance of it

- politics when it comes to rich and poor. the way rich people are allowed to accept all kinds of money whereas if poor people get them it’s disgusting and they are awful for accepting money. that the royal family is the one family getting the most money out of all. 

- you are allowed to set boundaries for yourself. you are allowed to not want to be a secret, you are allowed to not wear a dress that your mother wants you to wear. you are allowed to dump someone even if it could give you opportunities.

- girls have a sexuality and it is OKAY and i love to see that girls talk about sex and hookups and all just as much as the guys (even if a different way) because let’s get rid of the way girls are never supposed to explore their sexuality, discuss it or want to let others know (or know about others experiences)

- parents and substance abuse and how it affects your family and the difficultiy of wanting maybe a relationship but knowing it could fuck up everything. the way kids have to deal with it when they should be the ones taken cared of

- that spreading nude videos, photos of any kind is A CRIME and should be treated as a crime and is absolutely never wrong of the one taking part of the video. they didn’t do anything wrong. august was the absolute asshole that should be charged with so many things. and that people were supportive and felt sorry for them was also the best.

What if the guy in Nabi’s mom’s bedroom was Jae Eon himself???? Like how did he know it was her bd, which train station she was at, at that she should make up with her mom???

thinking about “you haven’t met all the people who will love you” and like!!! you also haven’t found all the things that will make you happy!!!! there will always be new authors and musicians and artists whose work you will one day discover and love!!!! there will always be new hobbies and skills for you to learn and feel fulfilled by!!! there will always be new things around the corner that will bring sudden and unexpected happiness!!!!!!!!!!!

Alternate universe where I literally just to go to school forever (for free) so I can just learn about art and literature and history and languages for 100 years. No job skills. No credit requirements. No student loans. Just learning.

What language are you fluent in?

silence 

There are times when I am convinced I am unfit for any human relationship.

Franz Kafka (via quotemadness)

concept: taylor performing a raw, beautiful, and ethereal cover of liability or writer in the dark

SHE DID NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Spoilers for Crooked Kingdom

@lbardugo you'll probably never respond to this but DID YOU HAVE TO KILL OFF MATTHIAS?!

we've all gone through friendless periods in our lives. don't fall into the trap of thinking there's something intrinsically wrong with you - that is a) untrue and b) a belief that will make your isolation grow and cause feelings of worthlessness that will prevent you from accepting people into your life because you feel like you're not deserving of their friendship

“I’m gonna act like no one is there”

(via)

I am back. Kind of? Anyway, here’s a list of series I’ve finished that I love:

1. Sands of Arawiya by Hafsah Faizal - enemies to we’re figuring it out to you’ll have to read the second book to see, embracing our power, found family, slow burn

2. The Never Tilting World duology by Rin Chupeco - healthy romance between goddesses and mortals as in the goddesses are not 100+ years old, they are 17-19 (I don’t remember), bodyguard x royal romance, world building with commentary on climate change

3. An Ember in the Ashes by Sabaa Tahir - one of the most epic fantasy series of all time, I love it because each book is so different and tied together in terms of plot, I love the main character’s arcs, the history of the world is so interesting

4. Ignite the Stars by Maura Milan - I read this one a while ago so I don’t remember all of the details, but I love the sci-fi fantasy world, I would love to see this as a TV show, also the main character is morally grey and is not just on a journey to try to take over the universe

5. The Bone Witch by Rin Chupeco - another morally grey character, the magic system is unlike any other that I’ve read, every one of Rin’s books is amazing and I think I’ve read every single one except for the sequel to The Girl from the Well

i think covid-19 is probably triggering full-blown agoraphobia and panic disorder in some people who were already susceptible to it (like people with mood and anxiety disorders). if you feel scared of leaving the house due to fear of becoming overwhelmed/having an panic attack in public, that's a problem that tends to get worse. i highly encourage you to look into therapy. you deserve to feel like you can go outside

biden signed a whole bunch of executive orders today, all of which aiming to undo damage done by trump. i’m by no means a fan of biden, he’s a centrist at best and has a history of sexual assault and i despise how he’s pushing for “unity” instead of accountability right now, BUT here’s the full list of executive orders, because a little good news is good for you sometimes (but mostly because the news sites with this stuff are behind paywalls):

Completely abolishing the “Muslim ban” travel ban, which had blocked travel to the US from several Muslim-majority and African countries 

Restarting visa processing for people from the affected countries from the travel ban, and focusing on “addressing the harm caused to those who were prevented from coming to the US because of the ban”

Reinstating ties with the World Health Organization (after Trump withdrew the US’s membership and funding last year) and making Dr. Anthony Fauci the head of the American WHO delegation

Rejoining the Paris Climate Agreement and ordering federal agencies to start reinstating more than 100 environmental regulations that were weakened/rolled back by Trump

Stopping the Border Wall construction and immediately terminating the national emergency declaration that allowed Trump to redirect billions of dollars to the wall

Revoking the permit for the Keystone XL pipeline’s construction

Overturning Trump’s executive order that had stopped federal agencies, contractors, and other institutions from holding diversity and inclusion training

Immediately ending Trump’s 1776 Commission, a committee that aimed to give American students “patriotic” history lessons, which were widely criticized by historians and civil rights leaders as being “racist lies” and “nationalist propaganda” that whitewashed history and greatly downplayed how bad slavery was

Protecting the Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals program (DACA) and keeping Dreamers (people who were brought to the US as children) from being deported

Extending the national ban on evictions

Overturning a Trump executive order that had pushed “aggressive efforts” to find and deport immigrants

Blocking the deportation of Liberians, a group Trump had targeted specifically

Reversing the rollbacks to vehicle emissions standards

Designating Susan E. Rice as the leader of a “robust, interagency” effort requiring all federal agencies to make “rooting out systemic racism” central to their work, and requiring federal agencies to submit detailed reports on equity in their ranks within 200 days

Reinforcing Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964, to require that the federal government does not discriminate on the basis of sexual orientation or gender identity, a policy that reverses actions by Trump’s administration

Undoing Trump’s orders that slashed the size of several national parks (Trump had wanted to auction off parts of national parks and protected land, primarily to oil companies) and halting the oil and natural gas leases in the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge

Restoring the directorate for global health security and biodefense at the National Security Council, a group Trump had disbanded, and requiring social distancing. A mask mandate would be met with significant legal opposition, but this order also requires masks on all federal property and by all federal employees

And lastly: immediately freezing all of Trump’s recent regulations he’d tried to sneak in at the last minute, so that the new administration can examine them much closer

also, this wasn’t an executive order, but in case anybody missed it: biden also chose rachel levine, a transgender jewish woman, as the assistant health secretary! from what i’ve seen, rachel seems great and has done a lot of good as pennsylvania’s health secretary, so that’s very exciting

Very female trait of Jesus to die for mankind's character development

taylor swift really wrote two albums for the hopeful romantics, the dark academics, the yearning lovers and the quiet souls of the world

good emotional skills to know 4 college but also in general

this is stuff that i’ve found helpful and am in the process of working on. they may not be achievable for you without help and may not work for your specific circumstance, but this is a list of suggestions that you might be able to think about. i am also not a mental health professional so please do feel free to contradict me!!

self soothing.  having a toolbox to take care of yourself by yourself. bc sometimes nobody else is available and you just gotta put some lotion on, listen to a tune, and go to bed early. 

checking in. checking in with yourself to see if you’re okay. knowing how to alter your strategies when your strategies aren’t working. knowing when your strategies aren’t working. this is just taking some time every day to reflect on what goals you didn’t meet and why and what you can do to fix that.

there’s nothing you “should” be doing. if you get caught up thinking “i should be doing x” that’s false! stop that! “should” be doing better implies that you have some obligation to do whatever it is that you “should” be doing. you don’t owe anybody except yourself. analyze why you think you should be doing that thing and change that into…. “i want to be doing x because…” or “doing x will make me happier, because…”. overall, more productive and less self-shamey. 

disconnecting from the crowd. eating in a crowded dining hall can be stressful! knowing how to be alone in a crowd and stay calm is helpful

being okay with being alone.  tbh college is kind of… being alone a lot, in my experience. even though you’re surrounded by people, a lot of time is spent alone. making friends is hard. your friends have different schedules. you’re busy. shit sucks. we make the best of it.

knowing yourself. this relates to a lot of what i’ve already said but like. knowing your emotional state and knowing what helps trick the monkey brain is helpful. stop repressing your feelings, friends.

talking to strangers. ordering from a menu! paying library fines. going to office hours. asking for a cashier at the register if there isn’t one. ya this is hard. ya you gotta expose yourself. sometimes i just try playing a persona. like this isn’t me ordering a sandwich. this is a cool me who knows how to talk to people who is ordering a sandwich.

you don’t have to be friends with your roommates. you just have to live together in a way that doesn’t make you two hate each other. ideally, you two will coexist in a way that doesn’t interfere with the other’s daily life.

give and taking. on the topic of roommates, sometimes your roommate can be a shitty person, but sometimes you are the shitty person! give a little but if they’re negatively impacting your life, communicate.

communicating during disagreements. explain what your emotions are instead of blaming them. “i feel hurt when you…” or “i feel frustrated when” or “i feel unappreciated when.” if things get heated, ask if you both can take a ten minute break and then come back. and don’t bring up disagreements when the other party is preoccupied or going somewhere. you can legitimately schedule a discussion.

it’s okay to apologize. learning to swallow your pride gets easier each time.

knowing that people work differently than you. some people are not gonna click with you and it’s gonna seem like they have this whole brain process up there that is totally unlike yours. and yeah! that’s how it is. and that’s chill if they aren’t hurting anyone else. work with them and be flexible!! 

comforting people. you will probably/definitely see someone cry! hell if i know how to comfort people. someone please help. but some things i’ve learned are: 1) different people need different things. different people need different things! 2) people need different things at different times. 3) you can ask them what they want and it won’t be weird. 4) apparently a lot of people like hugs? but ask. and it’s okay to not want a hug. 5) just show that you care in some way if you don’t know what they need. i used to think that if somebody needed to tell me what they needed it was a sign that i just didn’t know them well enough and we weren’t compatible or i wasn’t being a good friend. that’s fake! friendship isn’t based off of fitting naturally in every way and making an effort to be good for them is important.

knowing it’s okay to not be liked by everyone. it’s okay if strangers think you’re dumb because you said something dumb in public. you know you’re not dumb. it’s okay if not everybody you meet likes you. it’s okay if you do something cringey. everybody has their own shit to deal with and you will not shatter their world.  grow and move on!

forgiving yourself. i’m trying this new thing where when i feel embarrassed about something i say. out loud. “i forgive myself.” and then i just try to grow from that and move on without getting caught in a spiral of shame.

knowing what you need vs what you want and what is better at the time. what you need: a shower. what you want: to not do that. solution: take a shower! or maybe what you actually need is to go to sleep? but guess what. you probably know what is good for you. the hard part is actually doing it.

realize that building habits is less work than discipline. emotional effort is expended every time you have to make yourself do something. just make it part of your routine and you’ll just think it’s normal to do all the good things! like, for example, i’m trying to make it a habit to eat structured meals instead of a “eat when i’m hungry” thing because i know that makes me skip meals, which is bad!

you won’t be able to do everything. forgive yourself for that. write down  things that are top priority and focus on them. everything else is not important right now and you shouldn’t beat yourself up for not being able to do them.

your health is important. i’m not saying health will solve all your problems. it won’t! but health will cause a lot of your problems to go away. because let’s face it. not sleeping causes a lot of problems. 

it’s okay to ask for help. we say this a lot but it’s hard to internalize it. here’s a thought: there’s so much shame and hesitation about asking for help so by doing that you’re actually being proactive (which is respectable) and mature, and therefore… not weak or stupid. ask for help even before you need it! most people love to help others. and especially take advantage of people who are OFFERING help. for example: counselors at school or TAs. it’s literally their job. they want to do it. and if you don’t want to talk to anybody in real life, my inbox is always open.

Jobs in Psychology

Psychologist – anyone who works in psychology

Clinical Psychologist – requires a higher education      – master’s to doctorate degree – can be a researcher, counselor, therapist, etc.

Counsellor – helps others by listening and giving advice

Therapist – works to help with a physical or mental problem

Psychiatrist – graduates from medical school – can diagnose and provide medication for psychiatric disorders