/fantasy/

The Signs as Flowers

Aries: Asiatic Lily - fierce

Taurus: Orchid - wise

Gemini: Tulip - youthful

Cancer: Forget-Me-Not - gentle

Leo: Daffodil - exciting

Virgo: Queen Anne’s Lace - influential

Libra: Daisy - easygoing 

Scorpio: Iris - mysterious 

Sagittarius: Hyacinth - outgoing 

Capricorn: Gardenia - faithful

Aquarius: Amaryllis - sensitive

Pisces: Red rose - elegant

JARED PADALECKI IS JUST SO BEAUTIFUL, FUNNY, PRECIOUS AND AMAZING. IT MAKES ME CRY

wibble wobble…

The Signs on their Period

Aries: cramps. cramps. cramps. cramps. cramps.

Taurus: GIVE ME ALL OF THE CHOCOLATE

Gemini: fuck this.

Cancer: CRYING

Leo: why must this happen to me what the hell not cool.

Virgo: *wears sweatpants for an entire week*

Libra: probably gets it while wearing white.

Scorpio: THE IS BLOOD COMING OUT OF ME WHY THE FUCK DOES THIS HAPPEN.

Sagittarius:oh.

Capricorn: *watches Netflix and cries even though it's not a sad movie*

Aquarius: I'm going to eat this entire pizza on my own and if you try to stop me I will kill you.

Pisces: look fab anyway.

CAREER CHOICES FOR THE ZODIAC SIGNS

Aries: Firefighter, police officer, defense attorney, parks and recreation, soldier, stunt person

Taurus: Gardener, chef, legal consultant, engineer, designer, artist, teacher, receptionist

Gemini: Entrepreneur, lawyer, writer, historian, comedian, computer, tech support

Cancer: Teacher, social worker, nurse, artist, chef, interior designer, real estate agent

Leo: CEO, performer, fashion designer, politician, salesperson, socialite

Virgo: Writer, doctor, counselor, critic, editor, linguist, teacher, accountant

Libra: Lawyer, diplomat, socialite, counselor, fashion designer, politician, spokesperson

Scorpio: Detective, police officer, scientist, researcher, psychologist/psychiatrist, private investigator

Sagittarius: Politician, coach, travel agent, philosopher, environmentalist, explorer, translator

Capricorn: Manager, politician, administrator, CEO, accountant, entrepreneur, private investigator

Aquarius: Scientist, pilot, astronomer, writer, musician, designer, politician, judge, social worker

Pisces: Musician, dancer, artist, entertainer, photographer, animal service, nurse

The Signs Expecting A New Baby

Aries: *rubs hands manically* “Yesss, a new devil spawn had been born >:)”

Taurus: *is genuinely excited* Gemini: “oh yay!^_^ I’m gonna take it scuba diving”

Cancer: *hates it at first and then loves it 5 minutes later*

Leo: “No I WAS THE ONLY CHILD!……..You little bitch”

Virgo: *teaching it to talk at 7 weeks old* “Fucking say it: Iridocyclitis”

Libra: “Awe, I’m gonna share all my clothes and all that other shit with it!”

Scorpio: “GREAT, another asshole in the family”

Sagittarius: “God DAMMIY DAD WRAP IT UP”

Capricorn: “Here’s the deal: I’ll love it until it begins to talk. After that, DITCH IT”

Aquarius: “ugh ok”

Pisces: *is the new baby; fuckin adorable*

The Zodiac Meets Chinese Face Reading: Speculation

Chinese face reading is an ancient oriental art form based on physical features, used to reveal one’s character, health, and ethnic origin. It is also known as physiognomy.

As far as I’ve read up to this point, I know that the forehead represents intelligence and wisdom, the cheeks represent emotion, and the chin & jaw represent aggression and assertiveness. The eyes are supposedly associated with leadership qualities & expression of feelings, the nose is associated with wealth, the ears with luck, and the mouth with elegance & charm.

I imagine that the Ascendant, the Ascendant’s ruling planet, planets in the first house, and planets in aspect to the Ascendant go hand-in-hand with subjects like Chinese face reading, so here are a few of the connections I’ve made.

(Planets in the tenth house and the Venus sign may also play a lesser part.)

Fire signs commonly have prominent chins/jaws & eyes. Earth signs commonly have prominent foreheads & noses. Air signs commonly have prominent foreheads & ears. Water signs commonly have prominent cheeks & mouths. Cardinal signs commonly have prominent chins/jaws. Fixed signs commonly have more “balanced” features. Mutable signs commonly have prominent foreheads.

Masculine signs commonly have more prominent chins/jaws than Feminine, though Fire signs have more prominent cheeks than Air, and Air have more prominent foreheads than Fire. Likewise, Earth signs have more prominent foreheads than Water, and Water have more prominent cheeks than Earth.

Individuals with notable Aries/Mars influence tend to have very pronounced jaws, protruding or square chins, and sharp eyes (both in shape & expression). Individuals with notable Taurus/Venus influence tend to have large & plump lips, round eyes, pronounced cheeks, and square but averagely defined jaws. Individuals with notable Gemini/Mercury influence tend to have thinner lips, large & defined foreheads, small but prominent ears, and large eyes. Individuals with notable Cancer/Moon influence tend to have round faces, large eyes, plump lips, very prominent cheeks, and smaller foreheads. Individuals with notable Leo/Sun influence tend to have prominent jaws, large or otherwise remarkably pronounced eyes, and well-formed lips. Individuals with notable Virgo/Mercury influence tend to have smaller eyes, thinner lips, very well-defined & prominent foreheads, and either very small & round or very large, defined, pronounced noses with thinner bridges. Individuals with notable Libra/Venus influence tend to have well-defined foreheads, prominent & graceful lips, nice cheekbones (although the cheeks themselves are rarely very pronounced), larger ears, and thinner noses. Individuals with notable Scorpio/Mars/Pluto influence tend to have very prominent chins/jaws/cheeks, and smaller but very sharp eyes. Individuals with notable Sagittarius/Jupiter influence tend to have square jaws, larger foreheads, large & round eyes, possibly crooked noses, prominent ears with large earlobes, and less prominent cheeks but high cheekbones. Individuals with notable Capricorn/Saturn influence tend to have remarkably large/defined/straight/high noses, square jaws, small but sharp eyes, possibly prominent ears, thin lips, possibly high cheekbones and/or prominent cheeks. Individuals with notable Aquarius/Saturn/Uranus influence tend to have smaller eyes, large & prominent foreheads, higher noses, and thinner lips. Individuals with notable Pisces/Jupiter/Neptune influence tend to have VERY large & prominent foreheads, large & round eyes, small but plump lips, pronounced cheeks with usually low cheekbones, and large/prominent ears.

The signs stuck on an island :

Aries: "I'm in charge nobody mess with me!"

Taurus: "but...what will we eat..."

Gemini: *isolation gets to them* *talks to self*

Cancer: worried about loved ones.

Leo: I live a luxurious lifestyle this isn't gonna work out.

Libra: sits quietly. No hope.

Virgo: thinking of a rational solution to the problem

Scorpio: hugging Virgo for comfort

Sagittarius: trying to be optimistic

Aquarius: weirding out

Capricorn: builds a boat out of things they find on the island

Pisces: swimming lol

The Signs & Colors

ARIES Favourable Colours: The ruler planet of Aries is Mars which is dazzling red in colour. It symbolizes vitality, vigour and passion. Wearing suitable colours can keep them happy calm and prosperous. Red, saffron, mustard, dark pink, golden yellow are their suitable colours. Unfavourable Colours: They should avoid black, deep blue and green. Green is the colour of Mercury which is not a friend of Mars. Tips: Keep a red hanky in your pocket every time. TAURUS Favourable Colours: Taurians are ruled by Venus which is a planet of love and charm. The can make their life more happy by using milky white, light pink, aqua green, almost all shades of blue and black. Unfavourable Colours: They should avoid red and shades of yellow to diminish the effect of Mars and Jupiter. Tips: Keep a pink hanky in your pocket every time. GEMINI Favourable Colours:  Its go green for all Gemini. Their ruling planet is Mercury and using green colour more and more can benefit them largely. They can use all shades of black and blue. Unfavourable Colours: They should avoid dark red and shades of yellow. Though they can choose pink for a change. Tips: Keep a green hanky in your pocket every time. CANCER Favourable Colours: For this sign, Moon, Jupiter and Mars are favourable planets. They can go for all shades of yellow preferably dark yellow for all auspicious occasions. White is for their vitality and Red is for their work and to fortify their social appearance. Unfavourable Colours: Avoid green and black as they can make you feel down. Though green enhances their prowess. Tips: Wear at least one white every day and it may be your vest or shorts inside. LEO Favourable Colours: Leos are from Sun and all shades of Sun’s colour is auspicious for them. Being Mars and Jupiter as Sun’s friend they can go for red and yellow shades as well. Copper colour can be great stuff if want a change Unfavourable Colours: Avoiding white will be a good move. Black will attract enemies towards you and the impact of black can worsen your disease if you have any. Tips: Keep an orange colour hanky in your pocket every time. VIRGO Favourable Colours: We see, nature, see, fruit, and leaves in them. All shades of green is auspicious for them. They can mix black also in their outfit. Wearing milky white on Friday will help them where fortune matters. Peach, mauve, lilac, purple and pink also suits them. Unfavourable Colours: They should say no to red at any cost. Golden yellow, orange, magenta and copper colours are unsuitable for them. Tips: Wear at least one green. LIBRA Favourable Colours: Libra Saturn confers goodness on you. Please make sure there are enough blue and black in your wardrobe apart from green and white. Green is for your fortune and white is for your body. Black is the most auspicious you can rely upon. Unfavourable Colours: Avoid yellow as it will bring animosity for you. Use green on Wednesday only and don’t wear bright dazzling white and Stick to off white. Tips: Keep a black hanky in your pocket or a black underwear will do the same. SCORPIO Favourable Colours: So, you are born warriors. Go for all shades of red and auspicious yellows. Scarlet also does magic for you. White is good for your fortune and pink will keep you calm and balanced. Unfavourable Colours: Avoid all shades of green. You can use black on Saturday but don’t use it every day. Tips: Keep a red hanky in your pocket. SAGITTARIUS Favourable Colours: They are driven by Jupiter while Mars and Sun are also important for them. Prefer all shades of yellow, golden yellow, copper, bronze and red. Orange is also favourable for them. Unfavourable Colours: Avoid white, both bright and pale as far as you can. Black also is not advisable. Tips: Keep a turmeric colour hanky in your pocket or a golden yellow cap will do the same. CAPRICORN Favourable Colours: Capricorns does well with colour associated with Venus and Saturn. So a combination of black and white is a good choice. Deep blue is another alternative they can go for. Green is good for enhancing fortune. Earthy shades can be taken as change in between. Unfavourable Colours: Avoiding all shades of orange, copper and bronze will be fruitful. Yellow also is not advisable. Tips: Keep off white colour hanky or wear at least one off white with your outfit. AQUARIUS Favourable Colours: Violet, purple and lilac are suitable colours for them. Similar to Capricorn, they should go for green and off white with violet and purple. Unfavourable Colours: Bright white is not suitable, avoid yellow and all red shades. Tips: keep a purple hanky in your pocket. PISCES Favourable Colours: Jupiter is their body and soul. So yellow and turmeric colour is a first choice for them. White is good for mental health and wisdom. All shades of red brings fortune for them. Unfavourable Colours: Avoid very bright shades especially spotted or printed ones. Black is also troublesome. Tips: Wear at least one red or yellow outfit.

The end of the world

Virgo: FUUUUUUCK FUCK FUCK THE WORLD IS ENDING SHIT WHAT DO WE DO AAAAAHHHHH IS EVERYONE OKAY? ANYONE HURT? OMG AQUARIUS WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING NEAR THAT CLIFF?! COME HERE NOW YOU'RE GONNA DIE!

Aquarius: *falls on his knees* The day has come. I'm going home. At long last I'm going home! Oh alien friends, I can't thank you enough for this! The world is ending!! IT'S FINALLY ENDING!!!! HAHAHHAHAHAHHA!!!!!!

Virgo:

Virgo: Okay fuck him, everyone let's go find a shelter.

The Signs: Dark Rulerships

Dark and unusual things over which each sign rules.

Aries: accidents, barren places and burned ground, cuts, doorways, insomnia, nosebleeds, skulls, surgery, thistles, trances, wolves

Taurus: coins, dogma, strangulation, gluttony, psychometry, suspect and unsafe places

Gemini: breath, pupils, rumors, chests, crystals, hounds, ribs, forgetting, pillars

Cancer: blood serum, graves, onyx, cellars, cradles, marshes, night flowers, glass, wells

Leo: fortresses and lairs, arrogance, chamomilla, ballrooms, circuses and playgrounds, vomiting

Virgo: black cats, fractured bones, libraries, intestines, conceit and inferiority, sick rooms, parasites

Libra: vines and lilies, marble, trials, alcoves and closets, vertebrae, forests, manipulation, attics

Scorpio: cesspools, bile, funerals and embalmers, magic, foul odors and stagnant water, blood red, vermin and mobs

Sagittarius: the spine, altars, visions and prophecy, incense, holy books, arteries

Capricorn: decay, abandoned places, thorns and nightshade, bones, coffins and mortuaries, gates, acid and ashes

Aquarius: ether and blood, radio static, teeth, rebellions, black pearls, nuclear weapons

Pisces: abbeys, enemies, hospitals and anesthetics, veils, outcasts and charlatans, clairvoyance, gasoline, mazes, falsity, self-undoing