ONE PIECE SPOILERS!!

voicemail from my boss: your performance is so abysmal we're not even firing you we've skipped straight to sending the GHOULS unit after you. may god have mercy on you

landlord from outside my door: oouuhhh auuhhhh hnnnn uhh nnhh eeee heee heee (wheezing in pain from bear trap i placed for him)

me humminh to myself at my computer: iiii wanna rocking roll all niiight. and part of every day :) alexa google "hunter biden spit for sale"

i need to know everything about surreal numbers

some pages from R.F. Fox’s classic children’s novel, Deltarune. I remember being so scared of Susie when I was little

I love characters that are accidentally made transgender by their media. ❤️

Things I have said to my friends who were driving from their big cities to visit me in the middle of nowhere

Maybe make a détour so as not to drive through [village], they’re holding their onion festival this weekend, the main street will be blocked. And probably all the other streets too, so visitors can park their cars. (“All the streets? Will there be that many visitors to the onion festival?” “um yeah???”)

Don’t take that road, it’s blocked by a rockfall. It’s been a while and the mayor promised he’d send someone to clear it but there are like 2 of us using that road so he keeps forgetting. Maybe once you’re here you can go to the town hall pretending to be an angry Dutch tourist who was very inconvenienced by the rocks, that’ll put some pressure on him!

if you see a cow loitering on that road, her name is Sarriette and you can’t shoo her away by waving your arm or a stick or anything. You need to open the car windows and put the radio on very loudly. Make sure it’s people talking, not music, she doesn’t mind loud music

If the cow has small horns, that’s not Sarriette but her new apprentice

Oh and speaking of music, it’s too bad you’re not crossing that village two weeks from now, that’s when they hold their musical boots concert! (my confused friend asked, “as in, hay?” because we use the same word, botte, for boots and for bales of hay) (I said no, bottes as in shoes, they use boots like percussion instruments. You’re right though, it would make more sense if the concert involved hay) (“I mean, not really”)

You’ll want to wear a bra for that portion of your trip because the forester is cutting some large trees and dragging them over the dirt road so right now it’s very very bumpy. Trust me. (She didn’t trust me) (she said “i’m not wearing a bra to visit you in the woods I’m a feminist” and then told me she had to drive one-handed and hold her boobs with her other hand the whole time, which. I told you)

You can stop to visit that village’s museum if you want, it only has 1 room and the theme is old-timey dolls. You’ll be the only person in there and the room is very dark and the dolls look very interested in you, just a warning

There’s a barn on that road that looks like it’s saying “oh!!” because of its big round door and wide-eyed windows <3

200 metres after the surprised barn you’ll see a dirt road on your left with a sign that advertises homemade soaps and cough syrups. There’s a spelling mistake on the sign and the lady who wrote it is MORTIFIED about it, she told me at the market that it really bothers her but if she tries to correct it she worries it’ll draw more attention to it. I told her she could draw little petals around that extra letter to make it look like a flower and last I heard she was considering it

wagoo wagoo

whoa dude when I heard about "radfems" I thought it would be some most radical females! 😍🤙

but these chicks are saying some bogus things about other babes 😬

old man yaoi

thoroughly enjoyed zeff wining and dining garp in the live action. whats better than this? just a dad and a grampa having a romantic candlelit dinner rife with unnamed tension :^)

do i get to keep my trans girl privileges if i consistently like interpolated one piece edits on insta gram?