The Shen Yuan Who Took His Little Sister To And From Belly Dancing Classes, And Practiced With Her Just

3am time to post mxtx mains on a hot ones interview:

hua cheng: like a rock. no reaction. never touches the milk.

xie lian: totally unfazed, but commenting on the ones that start making his lips burn like oh! so interesting

shen qingqiu: dying. gets through maybe 2 levels before showing discomfort. trying so hard to play it cool every time he has to grab for the milk/bread

luo binghe: not particularly bothered. very critical of the flavor/spice ratio in some of the sauces

lan wangji: very stoic. however he is also dying. bright red immediately. you can see the steam coming out of his ears by the third level

wei wuxian: terrifies the interviewer by demanding the bottles and adding more hot sauce to every wing. hits the last two-three levels and goes, "oh! finally these are getting good!" does shots of the last couple sauces off a spoon.

disclaimer it has been an age since i watched any hot ones vids x,D

This video is EXACTLY what Lan Qiren fears is going to happen the moment he lets Wei Wuxian back into Cloud Recesses

the only acceptable amount of distance is no distance, obviously

I so very desperately want a crack MDZS mistaken identity AU where somehow the entire Jianghu becomes convinced that not only are Wei Wuxian and the Yiling Patriarch separate people, but that Wei Wuxian has become the Yiling Patriarch's wife/concubine/sex slave (whichever is funnier).

Bonus points if the misunderstanding becomes so widespread because Jiang Cheng throws a hissy fit over the misconception. Lan Zhan should also have exactly one (1) drink and promptly try to go on a drunken one night wife-stealing quest.

MASSIVE KUDOS if someone manages to write in everyone jumping to the conclusion that Wen Yuan is Wei Wuxian's biological child with the Patriarch, and just immediately assuming in relation to that, that evil resentment powers somehow gave Wei Wuxian a working womb. Somehow. Cue Lan Zhan chugging vinegar in a corner.

Everyone is screaming inside. Wei Wuxian says at some crucial point to everyone the truth that he is the Patriarch. No one believes him.

I would write this AU myself, but while my heart says yes, my mediocre writing skills say no.

人若思念便思念 / 终会相见

quick, we need to inject some unapologetic positivity into the jgy side of the mdzs fandom. i'll go first:

1) no one in this book is as devoted to their mother as jin guangyao is to meng shi, and i love that about him.

2) can you imagine being newly orphaned and rejected by your only known living relative, penniless and without prospects, only to meet the injured heir to a ravaged sect and choosing to spend what slim resources you have protecting him and keeping him safe? because that's what meng yao did for lan xichen, and i think that's insane (affectionate)

3) what a cultivation prodigy jin guangyao actually was! no formal training, no support from a sect, no guidance from a dedicated teacher or mentor, and he still possesses such a natural gift for the qin that his talent with this instrument is recognized and admired widely across the jianghu. the only cultivators with more raw talent for it than him are members of the gusu lan. iconic.

4) those watchtowers saved hundreds of thousands of commoners' lives, which is, again, something precious few members of the gentry had any interest in investing their time or resources into doing.

5) the reason that post-canon wangxian can fuck nasty on every single exposed surface of the cloud recesses is because jin guangyao spent his slim political capital after the war pressuring jgs into sparing the funds to help rebuild it. say thank you, xiandu.

for once, sect leader yao is right and he should say it.

Baggy shirt 🖤🤍

One day, on the vast expanses of Pinterest, I came across one piece of art and thought that it would be cool to draw it, so I made something like a mini comic, adding other details. I really like Wangxian bunnies ❤️🩵 The art is old, I drew it about a year ago 😴

Original artist : @kuratba on Twitter

Is your mission important enough to miss on a local dilf (deity I’d like to fuck)? I don’t think so

When someone brings out the novel artwork as 'proof' WWXs og body didn't have scars all over his back from YZYs canonical abuse... You know you're dealing with an idiot.

Yes, the art is pretty and a nice addition. But it's not canon and it hardly depicts it either... We have artwork in the novel that shows WWX in red and black during his youth when he would have been wearing Jiang clan purple. He only starts wearing black post burial mounds escape. So that's incorrect...

We have novel art depicting WWX with glowing red eyes... Also not canonically true either. Nor are his tits ever particularly out, but most give his YLLZ era a plunge neckline so low you might be able to see the hint of his garden path if you look close enough!

If you're using mostly fan generated artwork - who have been clearly influenced by the CQL and donghua or their own personal headcanons and preferences - you're a moron and wasting my time.

“Uh, yeah,” Wei Wuxian said. He felt his back, which was LINED WITH OLD AND NEW WELTS. He couldn’t help but ask the question he’d been dwelling on. “Really, this must be the greatest injustice in all of history. Why am I always the only one getting hit whenever something happens?”

7S translation

Wei WuXian, “Uh-huh, that’s right.” He felt his back, COVERED IN SCARS BOTH OLD AND NEW, and still couldn’t hold back the question he’d be thinking about, “How awfully unfair. Why is it that I’m the only one who gets beaten up, whenever something happens?”

ExR translation

YZY whipped and abused WWX whenever she was in residence at Lotus Pier. Considering she was apparently barely there and the detailed description of new and old scars (wounds/welts*/injuries - whatever you want to fucking call it!! It's all the same!!!) we see in the extras, she must have harmed him any chance she got while she was back. We see her lashing him (and him alone!) for the most tenuous of "reasons"... The fact it states he was covered in scars both new and old shows historical abuse spanning some time - most likely since he arrived at LP at the age of nine!!!

So don't go pulling that bullshit on me when we're talking about canon FACTS. Especially when people cherry pick the text to conveniently show what they want and omit the stuff that shows they're talking from their ass.

*An English lesson for those struggling with 7S translation choice for the scars on WWXs back...

The term "welts" doesn't JUST mean a swollen bruise like mark on the skin or an itchy raised bump. It's a technical term used for injuries and scars left behind from being whipped or beaten hard and heavily with something. While I'm not a fan of their word choices, this is technically correct in the sense the marks are classified as welts as defined above.