Wei Wuxian: I Birthed You! Show A Little Filial Respect!

i think one of the most wonderful traits of wei wuxian is how socially competent he is, which is why it always annoys me if he is mischaracterized as someone who is unaware about how those around him feel, just because of the way his relationship with lan wangji pans out in the books. the dynamic between them was extremely multifaceted and what seemed obvious to us was very rightfully NOT obvious to wei wuxian and he hardly had time to sort those feelings out, given the kind of harrowing ordeals he was going through. but that aside–the way wei wuxian’s “social competence” manifests isn’t just social courage–in that, the risk of embarassment or self-consciousness doesn’t stop his self expression–or just his general forwardness and social butterfly tendencies but also–and imo, most importantly–his perceptiveness and astute reading of people around him which comes from a deep understanding of the human social element, at the individual and the societal level.

he has full awareness of how his station is looked down upon in the cultivation world and so while others in his situation may bend or break–wei wuxian cleverly toes the line between the two until taking a stance becomes necessary. he deeply understands the ugly dynamics running within the jiang family and clan and acts accordingly–be it his prompt efforts to placate jiang cheng or his conscious silence when madame yu is in a mood or even his acceptance of the whipping in lieu of restoring stability for the clan. despite his personal biases against jin zixuan, he can recognise his bravery. even his scandalous move to begin undressing in the cave shows that he knows exactly what would make lan wangji tick.

hell, i’d say even his initial thought about how the resentment of the dead can be redirected towards a target shows his striking comprehension of how emotions work in general. what’s more, he’s able to recognise the machinations nie huaisang had employed and he was also aware of the bigger picture associated with how fickle and easily swayed mob mentality was when everyone took part in bashing jin guangyao when certain truths came to light. when he was first brought back to life, he quickly and correctly deduced what kind of life mo xuanyu must have led and how he could act in order to easily humiliate the mo family. he empathised with jin ling and yet realised how he was brought up left something to be desired and so, tried to inculcate some of his own highly regarded values to him.

the deft manner in which he handled the juniors speaks for itself–a good teacher will always have good communication skills and wei wuxian went above and beyond just “good”. his people skills on nighthunts are extremely helpful–his ability to make tongues loose simply by charming people is highlighted more than once. just off the top of my head–him politely appealing to jin guangshan about the wen remnants and apologising for “intruding”, him readily handing in his sword at the indoctrination camps, him suggesting to jiang cheng that he should leave the clan once he was at the burial mounds–all of this (and much much more) demonstrates wei wuxian’s competence at guaging complex social dynamics, which is why, when he goes against the current and stands firm, it is a deliberate, well thought out decision, one made after considering the risks and repercussions, and that makes wei wuxian’s stance at the end that much more powerful. he is not stumbling his way through life, is not unheeding of his social status, is not a “mad genius with poor social skills”. hell, i would say wei wuxian’s ability to see straight through people is more impressive than even his insane intellect and to reduce that aspect of him feels like a disservice to his character. because when it comes down to it, the fact of the matter is that the murky social world through wei wuxian’s lens is actually astonishingly clear.

Why do so many fanfics have wangxian act so shameless around each other in public and around the kids? Fanfics tend to portray them acting so shamelessly until everyone around them either knows what they're doing in the bedroom or are really tired of them acting like this in public. Is this how they really act in the novel?

I think this may be due to fandom running with this particular scene:

After entering the tavern, they took a seat in an inconspicuous corner, and the waiter came over to greet them. He saw the sword at Lan Wangji’s waist, then the flute at Wei Wuxian’s. Because of their appearance and bearing, he couldn’t help but connect them to the pair who had been the subject of all the most heated talk recently. But after staring at them intently for a while, he noticed that the customer dressed in white was not wearing the Lan Clan’s forehead ribbon. Ultimately, he was left unsure of their identities.

Wei Wuxian asked for liquor while Lan Wangji ordered a few dishes. With one hand propping up his cheek and the other toying with a snow-white forehead ribbon under the table, Wei Wuxian listened to his deep voice as he read off the dishes. A wide grin was plastered on his face.

Once the waiter was gone, he commented, “So many spicy dishes. Can you eat them?”

Lan Wangji picked up the teacup on the table and took a sip. “Sit properly,” he said evenly.

“There’s no tea in there,” Wei Wuxian pointed out.

Lan Wangji filled the cup, then raised it to his lips again. After a while, he repeated,

“…Sit properly.”

"Am I not? It’s not like I’m propping my feet up on the table like I used to,” Wei Wuxian said.

Lan Wangji could no longer bear it. “Even so, do not put them elsewhere.”

Wei Wuxian was confused. “Where did I put them?”

“…”

"Lan-er-gongzi has so many demands. Why don’t you teach me how to sit properly?”

Lan Wangji put down the teacup and cast him a look. He was about to rise in a whirl of sleeves in order to teach him a very proper lesson indeed—but just then, a table at the center of the main hall burst into a chorus of roaring laughter.

Wei Wuxian likes being innocuously dirty towards Lan Wangji. But it's not anywhere near "everyone knows". We also have to remember when it came to xiao-Mianmian she even tells her parents Wei Wuxian was the "bad man" because he was being more openly dirty than Lan Wangji was, despite their little role play being on both ends . Wei Wuxian really likes being seen as the debauched next to Lan Wangji's prim and pretty self in public.

It's why Wei Wuxian jokes about no one being any the wiser that Lan Wangji can be just as much of a pervert and it not seeming to be fair. They fuck with Lan Qiren by purposefully being loud with their bed activity to annoy him and he can't do anything what with them being in their own home and married. And there is Wei Wuxian sitting in Lan Wangji's lap in front of Lan Sizhui (who they are close to so really no need for much proprietary). But the thing here when it comes to them acting as such, is because they are around designated family with those instances.

If they mess around outside of the discerning eye it's not any more radical than any other couple that plays around. There's just a skewed imagining of how couples can and cannot act with it veering into heavy purity politics despite these two acting like any other couple that's not exactly hiding they're a couple. We have the Inn lady in Yunmeng encouraging a one room after they both hesitated about one room or two room question and them HIDING they broke the tub because they had sex.

Fandom likes to think the characters in novel are a lot more discerning of Wangxian's relationship than they actually are. No one in the novel can just tell they have a thing for each other strangers or not. Only ones that encourage them or third wheel are the juniors and Wen Ning. They go on a date night in Yunmeng and it's not something necessarily out of the ordinary or remarked on in the extras (or hell even after the siege and it's Jiang Cheng getting his homophobia bit on and acting like they're being purposely disrespectful despite doing nothing out of the ordinary).

So no, it's an overwrought trope this fandom loves.

Let me photograph you in this light

it is actually so difficult to insult a guy like wei wuxian because even below-the-belt insults make nary a dent on him. people can call him names, disparage him, ruin his reputation, but his self-image is NOT affected by it. he knows himself and his values. there is a way to get a rise out of him but that usually involves insulting the people he cares deeply about (jiang yanli, lan wangji for example) instead of himself (which is not about having a low self-esteem but having his own boundaries and principles, mind you), but try to spew out hate and he will laugh directly in your face before moving on. someone might be like, “oh, you’re fengmian’s bastard child—” and wei wuxian will just go, “aHhahhahHAHA, nice one. have a good day!” or someone might say, “you’re a filthy, no-good demonic cultivator,” and he’ll just go, “now, filthy is a stretch. i take great pride in my personal hygiene!” come at him with your wittiest or your most ruthless insult and he will summarily dismantle it before disregarding your opinion entirely. which i think is just another piece of wei wuxian’s mindset that actually allowed him to stand before the cultivation mob and make a stance—he’s always been one to think for himself and not let others and their words colour his perception of wrong and right, possible and impossible, good and evil, especially when it came to him and his actions. to hell with their narrow-minded judgements, wei wuxian knew where he stood and why he stood there.

Rejoice

the wildest thing about lan wangji is the way he’s immediately enraged at his own feelings for wei wuxian. because we’ve seen wei wuxian fall in love slowly and surely, right? he goes from a quick interest to an oblivious attraction to liking lan wangji then being infatuated after his return to life, then to straight-up loving the guy intensely. we watch him develop his sexual and romantic attraction equally.

but lan wangji’s different. from the very first second he’s desperately smitten — all it took was one sly smile and he was going through the four stages of love: the desire to marry, kiss, bed and die with him. and he’s so goddamn outraged, because how dare this troublemaker trespass into his house and steal his heart so easily??

he was so conflicted that he didn’t see any other alternative if not to unsheathe his sword and fight the hell out of that idiot. feelings?? for a rebellious teenager?? right in front of my clan’s three thousand rules??? not today, devil.

I see this a lot in fics, especially ones that use demon cultivation versus ghost cultivation, but Wei Wuxian's cultivation isn't easy. I keep seeing people write it like it is some easy thing that people were doing in droves, but other than certain talismans, we aren't given any indication that anybody else learned how to use Guidao. It takes a certain level of mental fortitude, empathy, respect, humbleness and discipline to achieve to do even a tenth of what Wei Wuxian does.

Wei Wuxian: The Wen Remnants? No, you misheard. These are the Wei Remnants

Jin Guangshan: Do you think we're stupid!?

Wei Wuxian: That's a trick question. They can't be Wens because, according to you, the only Wens left were soldiers and cultivaters. These guys are clearly elderly and healers. Meet my older sister Wei Qing

Wen Qing with a slightly different hair style: This one is honored to meet such esteemed cultivators

Wei Wuxian: And my twin (but still younger) brother, Wei Ning

Fierce corpse Wen Ning with makeup poorly applied: Thank you for visiting our humble village

Jin Guangshan: You except everyone here to believe your blatant lies!?

Wei Wuxian: Everyone here pretends to believe your blatant lies about only having one bastard. Why is your lie so much more believable than mine?

Crow!WWX

irresistible eyes