Latest Posts by damonsxlt - Page 4

graham/reader • and i love him

hmmmmmm so

i wrote a lil smutty n angsty gra/fem!reader fic set in the late 90s and im kinda proud of it ‼️

👉🏼 👈🏼 

this is my first work for the blur fandom and im Nervous bc i haven’t been writing for a while and english is not my first language but hope u guys enjoy it anyway - if you enjoy it enough i’ll post it on ao3 too, aight? also this hasn’t been beta’ed by anyone so yeah. also feel free to send me a message if u want to beta it in case you wanna see it there. aaaaaaaaa

tw: alcoholism

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dating damon albarn would include:

being his number one cheerleader at his football games

going to ice land together in the middle of nowhere, snow and trees surrounding your cabin

sitting on the piano bench with him and watching play as he smiles like a goof

really deep conversations about politics and his anti war protests

play fights :)))

mornings in, making breakfast for each other and him burning pancakes

walks on the beach/ woods bc damon loves scenery, talking about conspiracy theories of the future and the past

dating graham coxon would include:

sunny car rides blasting the beatles and mazzy star while stopping at small diners at 3am

going to coffee shops and drawing each other with comfortable silence and fairy lights lighting the highlights of his face

a picnic where he plays acoustic guitar and you sing and take pictures of each other

ART MUSEUMS

him nerding out about guitars but you don’t stop him from talking because he looks so cute rambling

playing with each others hair a lot, ruffling it, forehead kisses

the smell of tea and pine on his clothes that you obviously steal

Damon Albarn reads an excerpt from Roald Dahl’s Fantastic Mr Fox

He should record audio books.

Осталось семь мяу.

rainy day ⛈️

Interview at Hultsfred Festival, 1996 (x)

the sweetest baby lambs ♡

I don’t think a day goes by without me thinking about Ian Curtis…Probably because I listen to Joy Division everyday, multiple times a day. 

Little ghost, tall, tan like milk and honey

go to sleep x damon albarn

*fluff*

tw for anxiety and hypochondria

i walked up the stairs of our apartment getting ready to go to bed. i did this everyday, get ready, listen to music, fall asleep. but some nights that was just too hard.

i was laying in bed waiting for damon as i started to look at my chest. i found a red mark on it, almost like a blood vessel. i started to get a little hot as i stared at it. i felt around and noticed a dent also, it hurt a bit. my mind went stright too my chest incaving. i couldn’t wait much longer, i had to get some sort of reassurance. i ran down the stairs with a worried expression.

“hey baby” he looked and saw my face and his dropped to a sadend expression “oh no what’s wrong” he whispered trying to be careful with his words.

i started to tear up, i hated doing this too him. i was always worrying and bothering him with something.

“i found another spot, my chest hurts, my head hurts, and i feel dizzy” i said quietly. that sentence was like a mantra for me.

“oh come here” he wrapped me in hug “i know no matter what i say it won’t change your mind but i promise i’m here, and while i’m here nothing is going to happen”

i rubbed my fave into his tee shirt feeling the warmth of his chest. i could hear his heartbeat and it made me smile. we were here and we were okay.

damon then lifted me up on to the counter as he let go of the hug. i watched him as he walked to our fridge and grabbed me some water. he then reached up further and grabbed the ice cream. he turned and smiled a dorky smile at me. he always knew how to make me feel better.

he grabbed my hand and helped me off the counter. he pulled me too our bedroom, lightly gripping my hand.

he jumped on the bed and patted the side next to him as an indication for me too join him.

i blushed a little at how many butterflies he gave me even after all this time.

i crawled up next to him and we started eating the ice cream. with his other hand he grabbed his ipad and put on our favorite show on netflix.

while watching the show i could see damon get sleepy, but i knew he was only staying up to make sure i felt safe.

i reached for my heart ever so slightly to check my pulse. it was a compulsion i had, i just wanted to make sure i was still alive and my heart hasn’t stopped.

“i can see you” he knew this was something i shouldn’t do. something that is just feeding my anxiety more fuel.

“i’m sorry” i said, i didn’t want him to be mad.

“don’t apologize that’s what i’m here for, that’s what your here for too. we’re here for each other”

he always knew exactly what i needed to hear.

i watched the rest of the show with my head leaning in damon’s shoulder. my eyes shutting little by little.

“go to sleep bby, i’ll be here right when you wake up” i nodded, i really needed rest and so does he.

we eventually both fell asleep in that position while damon played with my hair and i traced partterns on his chest.

i felt at peace with him, before when i was on my own doing this stuff i’d cry for hours. but now i feel so settled with him.

he made me feel so safe and so welcome. he is my home.

lose my faith x graham coxon

*very very angsty*

warning: lil bit of unwanted touching, alcohol, and abuse 

https://youtu.be/Chcy9K6ywjA this song inspired this <3

i hate the way i love too look at him why can't i see he doesn't need me. he only needs cigarettes and alcohol. he needed the things that make him numb, but i was not that. i made him feel things he told me. i made him feel the things he is scared of the most. id look at him but i couldn't see the man i once knew, the one with sparkling puppy eyes, art supplies always colorful, and a humming a pretty tune. now all i can see is dull droopy eyes, red and puffy, colorless art with scary undertones, and the hum of tune sounding like radiohead. 

sitting in this room by myself was torture. bruises littered my legs and scratches on my arms.

they always tell me to get help, get out of something so toxic. but i knew he loved me deep down. the only part of him that didn’t love me was the alcohol.

i heard a light knock on the door, i knew he had sobered up. when he was still drunk the knocks would be bangs. the door was locked so i crept up from my corner in the room to let him in.

light peaked through the door as i had shut out all the lights in the room. the only light other than the hall was the haunting 3am moonlight.

his hair was messy and eyes lidded. he had just stopped stomping around the house, throwing anything in reach.

as he came in he fell into my shoulder. his head dropped low to my level. i could smell the poison on his lips. i felt his body jolt, i knew he was crying.

i walked him over to the bed to let him down. i took off his shoes then his jacket, i did this at least 4 times a week.

but i loved him and would do anything for him.

“you won’t leave me, right?” he said in a broken raspy voice, “i’ll get better, i promise”

i didn’t know how to respond, how many times could i hear him say he’d get better yet still see no change.

“just lay down” i whispered.

i knew he had a big gig tomorrow and i was just hoping it would go different this time. 

          𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁𐄙𐄁    

before we sat in the car we were at grahams gig at princess charlotte, a crowd full of beautiful strangers. at the gig we sat in the green room, graham wasn't in the room. he stepped out to use the bathroom while i was sat with his band mate damon. he held a cigarette between his fingers, and was looking at my legs. 

“what happened to you” he said in his mockney voice as he pointed to my bruises.

i felt my face loose all color, i wasn't sure what to say. 

“eh, we all fall over when we're drunk” he laughed. i felt a wave of relief and just in time as graham walked in. he already had a bottle in hand as he strolled over. he wrapped his arm around my waist, any other time it would feel nice. but now i feel scared that he will do something that will show damon what's going on and that he will take graham away from me.

as the rest of the members came in graham and i hid in the back on the couch. he kept looking at me and i soon saw damon catch on. 

“stop” i whispered as graham started to grab my leg.

“oh have some fun” he said, but it wasn't him. it wasn’t my graham.

damon looked over with worried eyes, just faked smiled slightly. graham noticed and shook his head. 

“you got smthin for D now too” he slurred.

“graham-” i wishperd once again.

“no tell me, i know you don't want me. i'm a drunk piece of shit” he stood up and looked down on me. i felt small as i looked up at him. 

damon stood up, i could tell he was starting to get worried also.

“boys its time to go on stage” a man spoke into the room.

graham looked back at me as he walked away, damon did the same. but their eyes were not the same. 

they did great up on stage, the first hour of him being drunk was always him being light and fun. but now its been two hours and he's tired and dissacocated.

we had just got into the car after the gig. i turned my head to face the window as i couldn't stand looking at him. i tried to watch the rain but it's hard to see through the tears in my eyes. he was the reason i was crying, he did this every time.

he’d fight me for the keys to the car no matter how much a told him no. but if i didn’t he’d hurt me. but it was only when he was drunk that he’d touch me like that. otherwise he was gentle and made me feel like the luckiest women in the world.

the rain started to get faster and louder. then i saw the trees were starting to speed up. i looked to graham worried, he had a straight face. i looked at the speed we were almost going 100mph.

“slow down why are you rushing” i said starting to panic.

“shut up” 

“what-” i whispered as a felt my throat start to ache with ever waiting tears.

“just shut the fuck up” he said the vile, scary sentence in such a monotone voice.

our arguments always ended up like this, him yelling me crying. he was always in control when he was in this state of mind he was always the one yelling. i was always so submissive and felt as though i couldn't fight back, i was too weak. 

the whole ride was a horror show and it felt like i death trip. we pulled into the drive way of our appertment. i started to feel a bit more scared, i didnt want to be alone with him again. 

he turned off the car and sat still for a minute looking foward, i stared at him. he started to rub his eyes and hair. 

“whats wrong with me?” he said in a broken voice, “why cant i just get better” 

i watched as a tear ran down his face, it broke me. his crying was always so meaningful. i was one of the only person who ever saw it, he didnt like show his weakness infront of others. 

“im not sure graham, i really do miss you, the real you. the one who dosent hurt me the way this graham does” 

for the first time in weeks he looked up at me in the eyes, they were so dull so colorless. but for the first time in a while i saw a sparkle. 

“lets just go inside” 

as we walked in i went straight to our room, him following after. he layed down and i took his shoes off for him. i came into bed and after a minute of laying there he knocked out. my tears came out then, i miss him so much. we keep doing this every night. i want him back but i cant listen to him say he wants to get better every night. its getting too hard. i miss him so much. 

A walk in the park

•the streetlamps only flicker when you're under them

•has that lake always been there?

•you pass the playground

•the swing is moving

•there is no wind

•keep walking

•you hear a sound from the treea

•you resist the urge to run

•it only takes the ones who run

•keep walking

•you pass the playground

•the air grows cold

•you can see your breath

•a branch snaps behind you

•keep walking

•a streetlamp flickers in front of you

•count the shadows

•keep walking

•keep walking

Creepycore things!

Autumn!

Hot tea sipped in the back of a diner in a small town

Being a strange figure in the mist

Victorian houses

Strange, crude ink drawings on homemade paper

Cryptids

Scaring the piss out of some highschoolers who dare tread upon your cemetery

Shelves upon shelves of dusty books with leather covers and cracked spines

Black cats

Greatcoats!!

Wide brimmed hats that just barely show a glimpse of glinting red eyes

Vulture culture!

A massive deer skull mask

Cloaks

Scythes and sickles

please find your way back home

Graham: Morning.

Damon, in the studio: It’s close to seven PM.

Graham: As I said, morning.