Latest Posts by donkoogrr - Page 5

The absolute BEST Harry Potter fanfic I have ever read in my LIFE is "Harry Potter and the Lack of Lamb Sauce".

It has Chef Gordan Ramsey (Hufflepuff) coming to Hogwarts to be Potions Master in Harry's 6th year. It sounds like it should be a silly crack fic but I swear to you on my love of stories that this shit will have you hooked.

If you ever loved the Harry Potter series and felt betrayed by J. K. Rowling's words and actions, please read this fic. It reminded me so much of WHY I found such comfort in Harry Potter. It brought me back to staying up late on school nights and talking with my friends. It brought me back to being young and learning friendship lessons from fictional books. It brought back screaming in rage into a pillow, and tears at 2am, and the deep grief that comes from having loved a person, real or not, so much.

I revisit this fic about once a year. It's intense. It's wonderful. I just felt the need today to scream that adoration into the Tumblr void; maybe it can help somebody else.

I think Tim's Alvin Draper persona is underutilized by fanfic authors when it comes to comedic potential.

And by that I mean I desperately need to inspire a smattering of fics that have Alvin being the Gotham Underworld's Pet Bisexual Disaster.

Everyone knows Alvin. Somehow. He's a familiar figure, been doing freelance work for years. He's always on the fringes of the Big Leagues, but never seems to have the ambition or the brains to go further. Mostly he runs messages for ol' Matches Malone, yeah, but if you've got something unique to offload or are looking to hire for a job, Alvin has an Ex.

Good Gotham, Alvin always seems to be getting into the dumbest romantic trouble. He's like a discount Bruce Wayne, all himbo with connections. He'll show up to pass on a message or to make a drop and with just a nudge Alvin will talk about his Ex who left The Business and became an actress. Or the one who had the worst luck with being mind-controlled. Or the Ex who was dead-but-not-really and hiding from the government.

Goons will find him wandering down lair corridors where he's definitely not supposed to be and they'll gently escort him out while he tells them all about his New Girl/Boyfriend who texted him this address to meet him at! Except he got the numbers mixed up, do you think he still has a chance after accidentally standing them up? He really feels a connection this time, they met while defacing the same LexCo billboard.

Or he'll be in a base to deliver a message and get distracted because he'll recognize an old associate, or a friend of a friend, and he'll stop to chat. He'll even jump in to give someone a hand with a task when he's waiting for a reply! Such a weird kid. It's hard not to like the little shit though.

There are lots of fics about Batman being a bat shifter or being magically turned into a bat. I think there should be more of them. And that they should feature more confused bats swimming in the wet air.

Just a little thing for me. Imagining the things that would be on Mitch Grayson's social medias.

Do you ever wonder if the Cirque du Soleil performers realize how many fanfic people watch their shorts for inspiration? Like, sometimes they'll post bits with performers just casually flipping around and I'll be "Ah, yes, Nightwing movement, I see now."

Also it drives home to me just how much camaraderie and physical touch/support/grounding that Dick lost when he wasn't allowed to stay with Haly's.

Like a year ago I mentioned to @asknotbug that I was reading all the "Billy Batson gets adopted into the Bat-family" fics and THEY, THEY told me about the Danny Phantom adoption fics. I held out for like six months but guEsS WhAt I'm ReAdInG nOw?!

Worst of all is that so much of it is really good lmao

Danny Phantom is also super easy to consider as an allegory to being a closeted queer teen in a small Midwestern town. And sometimes it's just about a ghost boy.

Anyway, thanks again @asknotbug, I'm having a great time. May any curses against you fall upon your enemies.

So much of me wants to read a Titans Tower au that fully scrambles the timelines and canon. Like, I want Tim to have successfully cloned Kon and be hiding the baby at the Tower just so I can witness the hilarity of Jason breaking in to find the new Robin having a teen parent meltdown while holding an equally upset infant.

Or maybe there'd be angst. Maybe there'd be something about a kid trying to hide a baby from the Red Hood that would mess him up inside. The way Robin would be desperate to protect his baby from the intruder. Maybe the baby is asleep at the start and Red Hood only hears them fussing and awake when he's on his way out, hands still wet with Tim's blood.

Idk. I have a lot of feeling about Titans Tower and I like to throw more into the mix. It's probably the worst thing Jason's ever done that seems to have stayed canon, since I'm pretty sure him stripping Robin(Damian, age 10) and Batman(Dick, age???) to their undies and masks on live TV got retconned.

Two things I think are important to acknowledge about children and young teen lit

1) What they do well in the sense of literature/craft (usually it’s pacing, hooks, interesting characters)

2) What areas are sacrificed to make them different from adult literature and consumable by children (usually it’s elaborate prose and certain complex topics or character traits)

I like the stories that have Riddler leaving his life of crime to run the world's most difficult escape room. I like that the modern era offers him such a unique business opportunity that could help him with his mental health and villainous impulses.

But I also fucking CRAVE to see a story where Riddler gets super into the DC version of Dungeons and Dragons and becomes super famous for his Dungeon Master skills. I think that having people's beloved characters in danger would give him an even better thrill. I think he'd love to devote his time to learning backstories and lore so he can personalize dungeon riddles and enemies.

Tim would be the one to suggest this to him, I bet. Sends Eddie a text about needing a riddle suitable for his own W&W campaign but not having the time to put it together himself. I bet Ed would fall into a rabbit hole of research and wind up with so much KNOWLEDGE that Tim's like, "Hey, maybe you should put together your own campaign book and sell it online"; thus, the Riddler's Run becomes a legend for players.

A little thing, a personal grievance, to throw into the void like a note in a bottle.

I know my family isn't perfect; no one's family is. I get that if I want a birthday party I have to arrange it myself. The thing is, I did arrange it, just a little one for family. I made the plans and set things up and... Well, I can't be mad that people came down with the flu. Sickness happens!

So we can postpone it. I'm used to that anyway - Mom and Dad are usually out of town on my birthday, or for several years my birthday was the same day or weekend of the Super Bowl. I'm used to skipping day-of celebrations. So I wait.

I try again some weeks later. Just a little thing for myself and my two siblings. I check in about availability, I let them know the day and time, they know the plan. I've got limited money and energy, but I'm spending it trying to get my family's attention on me like a true middle child.

The day comes, the time ticks by. My brother sends a text that he can't make it, he's burnt out from work. That's okay, that's fine. We'll do something together later! I check in with my sister, reminding her of the party. She says she's too busy today - she's cleaning her house.

I put everything away.

I drank alone for the first time in two years.

This is a valid way to assimilate soul siblings

Frienshiped so hard my parents call them their fifth child

They slowly started calling my other friends their adopted children too it's actually really funny to me

Okay, okay, okay. More Bat-family brainrot to throw out into the void.

It's generally accepted that none of the Bats really enjoy going to galas or schmoozing with the upper class Gothamites. It's a fun enough joke or point of resentment or a good way to excuse the absence of other characters.

But consider the parties from a new angle: Galas are how the Bats patrol the ultra-rich areas. (I mean, that's where Epstein recruited his victims, right? And rich kids don't get their drugs from street corners)

Gotham vigilantes spend weeks swinging around on the main island, fighting street crime, foiling plots, etc. Gala Night is when they get to go hunting for the big fish, ya get me? They are so eager to dive into a Gala and find the tea.

It's a tech-heavy production, I'd wager. If your phone is on, it's being cloned. So many listening devices and/or cameras slipped into decorations or are being worn by the Bats. They're everywhere, popping in on conversations, encouraging people to talk about themselves, disguised as servers, disguised as other guests.

Hey, I want to share my brainrot.

Broke: Superman is actually a bad person who doesn't love his bi son Kon because he thinks the kid is going to be a future villain.

Woke: Superman is understandably standoffish to his nonconsensually created clone made to replace him when he was dead. Superman didn't step up when and how he should have - that doesn't mean he didn't have character growth and learn to love Kon, even if he have the kids a name that is a Kryptonian slur.

Bespoke: Superman would LOVE to get to know and mentor this new guy, but whenever he looks at the kid his lizard hindbrain registers DANGER and it freaks him out. He doesn't know why, there's just something intensely Uncanny Valley about Kon. Clark has never understood humans talking about creepy dolls or being afraid of mannequins until now and he doesn't know how to process it? He doesn't even know how to explain it because everyone around him is acting like Kon is perfectly normal and fine and safe and Superman's the asshole for never engaging with him.

Human scientists fucking around with alien DNA made it so that Kon is permanently sending out Aggression in subtle, Kryptonian-only ways. By scent or sub-vocalizations, or posture, or some other alien subconscious way, Kon is both peacefully hanging out with his friends and at the same time indicating that he's about to murder them. Neither Kon or Clark know this! Clark unlearned most of these instincts when he was being raised as human and is used to the people around him not hearing/seeing/tasting/smelling quite right. Until there's this guy here, serving these VIBES.

(about the slur name. Consider that Nightwing is Superman's dear friend and nephew. Consider that he calls himself Dick. Imagine if Clark named Kon "Kon" as a way to honor Dick and like, it's his genuine belief that future Kryptonian speakers will think of Kon as a name first and a slur second, because this person is going to be so amazing)

No notes, just joy

Thinking back to this panel, I think Tim has an opportunity to be the biggest little shit if truth serum gets involved.

Villain: With that truth serum flowing through Batman's little sidekick's veins, he will have no choice but to reveal the bat's deepest secrets.

Tim (as Robin): So whatever I say now will have to be accepted as the truth, no matter what?

Villain: Yes, because you have no other options.

Tim:

Tim: Batman called me dad once.

Mark Twain was such a weird guy and I respect him so deeply for it

Mitch Grayson might be my isekai self-insert proxy but that's not hurting anyone

Sorry y'all, it's story time. When I was a kiddo my siblings and I got to see the Batman Forever movie in theatre - you know, the one where Dick was around 21 and had an unnamed older brother? My older sister quickly called dibs on having Robin as her favorite character and, as imperious older siblings do, assigned me to having his brother as my favorite. So, I dutifully admired my tragic hero for several months until I realized that my guy only existed in one movie and had no appearances in comics or merch or anyone's memory.

Lately though, decades later, he's been constantly on my mind. I think the reveal of the nameless Prodigy and Dick's older half-sister Melinda as characters wove some new paths in my memory banks or something, because "Mitch Grayson" is just resonating. (Maybe, just maybe, Dick was always meant to be a younger brother.)

Imagine the classic Robin origin, but with Mitch as an older brother; how would things change? Who would Mitch be?

In my head, it's Batman, Robin, and Hoodlum, not the Dynamic Duo but the Terrific Trio. I imagine Mitch as being a few shades more angry, a little harder hitting than his baby brother. He'd be 12/13 to Dick's 8/9, and I imagine he'd be as obnoxiously protective and smothering as a traumatized older sibling, fiercely and almost rabid to protect the only blood family he has left. He's meaner and it'd take more effort on Batman's part to convince him not to merc Zucco. Mitch admits to having a different idea of justice than Batman, but is willing to keep to his foster father's rules.

Mitch is, perhaps, enough of a little shit to drive Batman into reading self-help and parenting books, if not outright therapy.

I think Dick would still bounce to form the Titans eventually, but this time without being fired and kicked out of his home. Definitely would be after a fight, though. Something about having two overprotective, high-handed assholes always trying to keep him grounded. Mitch is perhaps unhealthily codependent.

Despite his little brother leaving the city, Mitch stays firmly in Gotham. It's partly because he knows that he'd otherwise just follow Dick around and his brother's right that that isn't healthy. Mitch has to grow and face his own struggles with letting his loved ones live independently. He's very much like Bruce in this way.

In his civilian life, Mitch is a lawyer who focuses on introducing superhero protection measures, especially for younger heroes. A lot of laws he bases off of the ones for child performers regarding caretakers, pay, schooling, etc. If an adult cape is going to mentor a young cape, that adult better be ready to prove they can provide for that kid, including their mental health and also a way to leave the cape lifestyle should the kid want the out.

Also, provisions for cape-on-cape crimes. Specialized court procedures for people with secret identities, so they can testify or defend themselves legally.

Maybe in this universe he happens to be shadowing Harvey Dent on a certain day. Maybe he stops the events that lead to Two-Face.

Mitch is shorter than Dick, more physically like the traditional acrobat. Where Dick has their father's build and their mother's features, Mitch has a more willowy athleticism and their father's jawline. His Hoodlum uniform has a full mask once he hits puberty and grows a mustache like John Grayson's.

He is unapologetically gay. His social media accounts have steady uploads of the aerial routines he still does, along with silks and hoops and gymnastics. All those Waynes are thrill-seekers, after all. Sometimes he can be convinced to perform at Haly's or in a music video.

There's an incident over a year after he and Jason nearly die in a warehouse in Ethiopia. The Joker very publicly is holding a Wayne gala hostage and is live streaming the event. So it's very publicly seen that Mitch Grayson very purposefully swings a heavy antique chair at the Joker's head.

The trial is held outside of Gotham due to Mitch being unlikely to have a fair one as a well known Gotham celebrity and lawyer. It's an open-and-shut case of self-defense, though the prosecutor leans hard into Mitch's testimony that he'd known the chair would kill the Joker if he managed to land the hit. Mitch cites the trauma of being in the Joker's power again as being the reason why he chose to use lethal means - it's very Ender's Game; "Knocking him down won the first fight. I wanted to win all the next ones, too, right then, so they'd leave me alone."

He does some time in prison. The notoriety keeps him from falling into Amanda Waller's hands. #freemitch trends on Chirper in Gotham the whole time. Mitch and Bruce have several deep conversations about justice, and killing, and love.

Hoodlum loves the Robins; Hoodlum loves Batman; Hoodlum loves Gotham; Hoodlum loves his family.

Hoodlum eventually becomes Jason's title when he's grown up from Robin and ready to carefully and obnoxiously b(r)other the new kid. Tim soars in the Flying Grayson's colors and can always depend on his Hoodlum.

Mitch's new helmet looks like a snarling gargoyle. His colors are muted, but there's still a flash of red-yellow-green somewhere on him.

Grotesque takes to the skies and Mitch flies with his family.

Unpopular Opinion Time

I don’t ship Sirius Black with Remus Lupin and while I’ve read good fics with them as a couple it usually strikes me as a lazy pairing.

The basis of their relationship seems to be that hey were friends for years and they hugged after being reunited.

I actually got into a legit argument about this once and was accused of being a homophobe. Personally, I think that turning them into a couple based on this scant character development is perpetuating a culture of toxic masculinity. Two men showed love and relief and are now ‘super gay for each other omg otp’

I think Sirius Black is hetero pre-Azkaban and too mentally injured to call himself by any labels post-Azkaban. (He spent ten years having portions of his soul sucked out of him, it was going to take a lot more years than he was given after that to rediscover who he is, let alone have a sexual identity.)

Remus I can see as hetero or pan. He would likely focus on pursuing female companionship over male simply because he is already ‘different’ enough as a werewolf and would desire a sense of normalcy.

And even if they were both gay, that does not necessitate that they would automatically be attracted to one another. It’s a common theme found in a lot of amateur stories that the token gays must be paired with each other rather than seek a single life or date outside of the friend group.

Anyway, it’s 6:30 AM and that argument from my high school years is running around in my head, so here’s my belated rebuttal being tossed into the internet.

(Also I got a discord? https://discord.gg/qwPzVtr I still don’t know how to technology very well, but I’ll hopefully be more active over there. Tumblr’s editing system isn’t all that intuitive for me unfortunately.)

Reblog if you think fanfiction is a legitimate form of creative writing.

Can’t reblog fast enough

honestly the longer I’m in fandom the more I think the really Important question isn’t “what do you ship” but “how  do you ship” 

there are people who will enjoy anything as long as it’s technically about their ship, people who only want to see their faves Broken and Bleeding, people who only want fluff, people who only want to explore the canon interactions more, people who only want to throw canon interactions out the window and build something Brand New , people who *only* crack ship, people who want the tropeiest fic and people who only want to see the tropes burn 

and any one person can be every one of those and more about different ships 

  it’s all Very Complicated 

Prompt commission from anon on ko-fi:

“Totally love your idea of Tobi with a baby or toddler :) Could I request for a little comic strip of my favourite pair, MadaTobi with the toddler or baby? Maybe, Mada opinion of Tobi (he’s such a cold hearted bastard) changed when he sees Tobi interacting with a toddler?”

So here we are, Madara a month in coming by the Senju household to make sure the baby isn’t treated badly, or catch Tobirama out being actually bad enough to make a case the baby should be taken from him. That’s not what happens :D Who knew Senju Tobirama could smile, or be silly? Lovely prompt, thank you!

Temples are built for gods. Knowing this a farmer builds a small temple to see what kind of god turns up.

hot take: 

Gloin is the sexiest dwarf by dwarf standards.

Kili is the sexiest dwarf by elf standards.

Thorin is the sexiest dwarf by human standards

& Bombur is the sexiest dwarf by hobbit standards

The only acceptable reason for this is if this character is actually a demon who seduces men and then eats them. [source]

Me: “Yeah I read all the time! I’m always reading a book-”

My books sitting unread on my bookshelf:

POKEMON VIETNAMESE CRYSTAL

Don’t mind me, just sharing a thing of glory.

(Art is by the amazing @dahtwitchi. This is a freeform collab with no real goal)

YoungestMadara groans at the commanding voice and sits on his heels behind his older self, firmly grabbing his hips and pulling him onto his lap. "Here, like this...you kneel and keep your hands on the ground, that's right. He said no touching, so only your pretty mouth is going to be taking that cock. That's right, right there, fuck..." He has spent an age working the man open with his fingers, lining himself up and pressing into that heat was almost criminally easy.

"Fuuuck, you're so ready for me, so fucking good..."

One hand rubs soothingly over SugarMadara's shaking back, brushing his hair to the side so he can scratch trails down the bared skin. The other hand grabs at his hair again and jerks his head back until his mouth is forced to open.

"Stick out your tongue, Soldier; I believe you have a position to keep."

His older self whimpers.

SugarTobi finally gets around to removing the rest of his clothes and lets his younger self sprawl over him, cuddling his back and watching the others with undisguised awe. He is...not completely fine. Trying to fall back under, but he cannot quite return to his state of euphoria.

Can confirm, actual home video of me. Don't judge, I was a young thing back then.

Bet You Love Cat With a String. I’ll Raise That Bet With a Cougar with a String.

(Art is by the amazing @dahtwitchi. This is a freeform collab with no real goal)

Madara snarls, just barely stopping himself from wrenching Tobirama's foot away from his face, still very mindful of how he himself would react if this was his Tobi. What the actual fuck?

"I don't have a goddamn problem with blindness; I have a problem with you hurting yourself, you idiot! We all saw what happened to your arms when you took the seals off, and you said yourself that wounds don't always heal correctly. Being blind doesn't matter!" He grits his teeth and risks a glance at his Tobi, who seems to be coming out of subspace as a result of the wildly flowing chakra.

Madara clamps down on his own, forcing it under his control. The youngest one is still under and that...that's probably for the best right now. His Tobi can keep him safe, using his own chakra to block out the aggression coming from the rest of them. He speaks more carefully, lowering his voice to a more acceptable level.

"Fuck. Just. Fine. If you're into hurting like that...you know your limits. I just didn't expect you to start unsealing old wounds all of a sudden. I didn't even know those were seals; Tobi's are just tattoos."

The youngest Madara seems amazingly uncomfortable, but he nods along. He wonders if this Tobirama had lost his sight to the same people who had scarred his Tobirama's face and the thought makes something burn in his chest.

((Edited content: @dahtwitchi))

[gvTobi realizes there has been a failure to communicate; SugarTobis were not blind from birth like he was.]

[gvMadara changes the subject via felating gvTobi's fingers. It's super effective!]

((Return to: @donkoogrr))

"Nooo?" SugarMadara sits back on his heels. "You are...it doesn't hurt you, then?"

Embarrassment tries to take a hold of him and a red flush makes its way over his face. He isn't sure why; he had had a perfectly logical reason for thinking that this Tobirama had been wounded.

He looks over at his boy apologetically and winces. His Tobi has had a history of subdrop when brought out unexpectedly and...he seems to be holding it together for his younger self's sake. Madara knows that look, though, recognizes the tightness around the eyes and the way he's curling in on himself.

He reaches out to wave him and his other self in closer as the oldest Madara very effectively distracts his Tobirama.

"Hey, Tobi, it's okay now, come a little closer; I Want to give you a good show. I bet that younger you is wanting to watch, too. How about you let him rut against you while we give you something pretty to look at?"

(Art is by the amazing @dahtwitchi. This is a freeform collab with no real goal)

"Yesss" SugarTobi moans the word quietly, nearly whimpering as the eldest Tobi's nails come into play, "I can take it...can take everything you give me, please..."

-

A hand grips his neck just enough to choke him at the same time his younger self scratches his nails over his ass and Madara freezes, body trembling as he climaxes. He can feel the other Madara swallowing around him and he pulls that hungry mouth closer, making sure the man gets his fill. "Oh fuck, yes, just like that...gods, you feel so good, so very good~ Just you wait, old man; you're going to fucking love me at any age..."

((Edited content: @dahtwitchi))

[gvTobi really likes using his nails. Also likes feeling SugarTobi's scars from the inside of his mouth. Also the begging is nice.]

[gvMadara lols a bit. He doesn't love his alternates, he's just going to enjoy them. He doesn't completely like that his Tobi is enjoying the other Tobi so much. Pulls SugarMadara's hair and demands distraction when he sees his Tobi going deeper.]

((Return to: @donkoogrr))

SugarTobi is so, so still, keeping his mouth open and wanting, shivering with lust as his alternate traces over his scars. He wants to beg for more from this man, to plead for anything he is willing to give, but that would mean interrupting the way his mouth is being finger-fucked and there's no way he wants that to happen. He closes his eyes to better feel the sensation and to send out just a tendril of chakra. Wanting.

-

"I can work with that." He reaches up and grabs his alternate's wrist, using the pressure points to free himself. SugarMadara twists with surprising gracefulness considering that his legs are shaking and falls to his knees, pulling the man's clothes out of his way. "Get your hands in my hair and get ready for a fucking ride. Gods, look at you, so nice and heavy. You better make me choke on this monster-!"

He is abruptly cut off when his younger self grabs his head and unceremoniously pushes him all the way down. YoungestMadara leans his weight against the other man, staring into the Eldest Madara's eyes and looking slightly unhinged himself. "When people say I talk too much, I'm going to start listening to them. Give me that lube; this guy is prepped and I am going to get my dick in him one way or another."

The youngest straightens up and yanks back, pulling the choking Madara up by his hair, "That sound good to you?"

SugarMadara groans and spreads his legs. He had rather hoped this is what would be happening after his younger self had discovered that he had taken inspiration from his own Tobirama to welcome his lover back from his long-term mission. Hiding the fact that he was being fingered from his alternate older self had been beyond difficult, but he is very proud to see the surprised look on the man's face.

"Fuck yes, let's do this."

((Edited content: @dahtwitchi))

[gvTobi is curious is SugarTobi can come from this alone and then he hears that and accidentally goes too deep when he looks over and demands that he be let in on that.]

[gvMadara freezes up. May be contemplating the murder of his alternates.]

((Return to: @donkoogrr))

It turns out SugarTobi can indeed come just from that, especially combined with the sound of the older Tobirama's appreciation for the Madaras' positions. He doesn't choke though, keeps himself breathing steadily in silent, open-mouthed obedience even as his eyes close in ecstasy.

-

"Holy fuck." The youngest one breathes the words like a prayer as he applies a layer of slick to his erection. SugarMadara looks over at the Tobis, moaning quietly as he sees his boy being so well-behaved. "Good gods, me, say yes!"

((Edited content: @dahtwitchi))

[gvTobi realizes his man is close to murdering his alternates in a fit of jealousy. Uses his sexy commander voice to interrupt the killkillkill mantra. Takes the seals off his eyes so he is blind and cannot see the other Madaras.]

[gvMadara is going to not kill his younger alternates as long as they don't touch his Tobi. Also, he is already halfway prepped himself because nothing says "I missed you" better than anal(?)]

((Return to: @donkoogrr))

The other two Madaras reign in their shock at seeing Tobi's seals vanish, though they are not...they had not realized that this Tobi had been blinded and had used his abilities to seal away the wounds. (They do not know that this is a different sort of seal than the ones on his body) SugarMadara in particular has to swallow back a snarl, wants to demand how his alternate dares to make blindness a condition to Tobirama getting something he wants.

"Fuck, you couldn't have him wear a blindfold, you need him to lose his sight?!"

He does not do well at holding back his anger, even in such a compromising conditions, even if he wants to stay silent and let desire win out over his protective nature.

-

There's a distressed murmur from the cuddling Tobis left to the side, their chakra senses picking up the disturbances. Neither of them are very capable of blocking out their senses, they won't be until they leave subspace.