Dycon2000

Doggy lips kind of creep me out. (via imgur)

Lady Macbeth: is that a dagger in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

Macbeth: i'm just happy to see you ;)

Lady Macbeth: pathetic

omg

how did jk manage to write ootp and not come to the conclusion that the only career w any true meaning for harry james potter was as a goddamn professor at hogwarts like how do u write the da scenes and say “nah he’d want to be a wizard cop”

Today, I fucked up... by going to a fancy carwash and accidentally kidnapping a Mexican dude.

This morning I decided to got to one of those fancy carwash places where they have about 10 people cleaning and drying your car after it gets out of the automatic wash. I drive a large pickup truck, a 4 door Nissan Titan and I keep the rear seats up so my dog has more room. So after they were done drying the truck they waved me over and I started to drive away, I got about a half mile down the road and I see someone in the rear of the cab, still drying the inside of the windows. It scared the shit out of me and I screamed, then the guy screamed and I ended up swerving on the Highway and cut off a car in the next lane. There happened to be a police officer behind me who saw it all and turned on his lights and pulled me over. The good news was the cop believed me, because the truck was still dripping and the Mexican dude had a spray bottle and rag. The police officer gave me a written warning and had a good laugh. I tried to give the cleaner a ride back to the car wash and he just said to me “No mas” and turned and quickly walked away.

Check out more TIFUs: Internet`s best fuck ups are here.

All the Darcy’s

[insp]