Latest Posts by eos-lies-to-you - Page 5

What’s Bruce gonna do? Let the kid run around untrained? Let the boy get hurt? Let the boy die alone and afraid because he refused to train him???

I fully believe that Tim put together a presentation to convince Bruce to let him be Robin. His first point was that he fit the qualifications needed to be considered one of Bruce's children.

Point number 2 was 'if you don’t do it, then I’ll go out there alone. By myself. With no help. Or any training.'

Dick saw this and was laughing so much he cried.

Barry is horrified and freaks out. He didn’t know that Shazam was BABY!

I was just thinking about how the Rogues, Len especially, don’t get enough recognition for having near Bruce Wayne levels of ‘Is anyone gonna adopt that?’ when it comes to kids.

Obviously it started with Wally after Barry’s disappearance. Len and Mick basically looked at him and went ‘Ope, Barry’s gone. I guess it’s up to us to raise him now.’ while Wally looks on, totally confused as these two former criminals show up at his house for barbecues and make sure his wiring gets done properly. He will spend the rest of his career being Kid to them, and probably gets noogied regularly.

The entire team adopts their tailor’s nephew and raise him, even before any of them tried to turn straight. Just this little bullied kid sitting on their laps, learning to cheat at poker, getting walked to and from school to make sure he doesn’t get beaten up.

When Owen shows up on the scene, Len knows that Lisa isn’t his mom, but he still goes straight in with his ‘Rogues are family’ speech and starts calling him Son and bragging that his boy’s got Speed.

I can just see Captain Marvel showing up in Central to help Flash with something, and every Rogue in the city just lifting their head and sniffing the air because ‘There’s a sad orphan out there somewhere who needs love and attention and to be called Champ.’ Next thing he knows, Billy’s got a new family fitting him for a cool new suit and making sure he gets into a good school and he’s not entirely sure how this is gonna go down with the League but that night Barry gets a three hour long lecture about letting a kid fight monsters which he can’t get out of because he’s frozen to a wall.

Unless he’s watching over Arkham and making DAMN SURE the party isn’t being disturbed?

Duke not being at Damian's 13th birthday party is ooc and I will never stop grudging Truth & Justice for that.

Tim is that kinda petty honestly.

no offence to jason but tim's the one bruce should be directing all that "the second i looked in the small child's eyes i knew he was dangerous" energy at. tim's the one getting job offers from supervillains every tuesday. but alas tim is also the better liar

Jack and Janet love their son. Their feral, intelligent, Robin-Loving son. They love their baby but they love their dogs too. So when Tim hits the double digits, they sit him and they talk. They give Tim options. Boarding school, a nanny, a housekeeper, or coming with them. Tim chooses the housekeeper. Jack and Janet look. They look and they look. Eventually they find Mrs. Mac, so they hire her. And then just to be safe they hire Slade Wilson to look after their son.

Tim loves his parents and he knows they love him. He also knows they love their digs, and that’s why Tim was given OPTIONS. Tim chose the housekeeper of course and he knows that there’s someone else hired to watch him as often as possible. When Tim becomes Robin he sends pictures, momentos, and screenshots of his conversations with his friends to his parents to laugh at. When Tim starts YJ with his friends, Slade starts showing up. Slade is in co-parenting with Tornado to keep these disaster children in check.

Every time Tim calls his parents answer as soon as possible. Tim email is marked as URGENT, above even the Drake’s company. Anytime the Drake’s are in Gotham Tim drops everything and stays with them.

I am 100% sure that Tim has gaslit a rogue or a random villain into thinking that Tim is their friend. I vote on it being Riddler or Joker. Joker because Tim wanted to get close enough to kick his ass. Riddler because Tim wanted t know how he thought of the riddles.

no offence to jason but tim's the one bruce should be directing all that "the second i looked in the small child's eyes i knew he was dangerous" energy at. tim's the one getting job offers from supervillains every tuesday. but alas tim is also the better liar

Jack wants to get him tested for better help. Janet says she doesn’t want their son put in a psych ward. In the end Janet wins when Tim smiles serenely and threatens to end Jack’s bloodline with him.

Good parents Janet and Jack Drake put Tim through those child safety courses where they teach kids how to protect themselves in case someone tries to kidnap them.

The issue is that Tim is a feral little gremlin of a child with a very strong understanding of public personas and knows to keep his feralness behind closed doors or where no one can see him. So in front of all the parents and instructors Tim keeps letting himself be too easily shoved into this car because he’s out in public and he’s supposed to be polite.

Jacks not having it. He’s not about to have his son shown up by little Suzy with the blond curly pigtails who screams like a banshee and kicks hard enough to end family lines.

“Tim,” he says pulling his 6/7 year old son to the side. “If you can go the rest of this session without letting them shove you in that car once, I will buy you whatever camera you want.”

“Plus accessories?”

“Anything you want.” Tim smiles in that oh so familiar way that swore chaos upon you and your kin and from where she was sitting Janet sighs, sending a text to their lawyer.

The next round is a free for all. Tim is cussing them out in Russians, then french, then possibly ancient Egyptian? (“who taught him how to cuss like that?” Jack asks while Janet hides turns her head to hide her smile). He’s punching, kicking, and there’s definitely biting involved. Somehow Tim managed to twist his way onto the instructors shoulders and has him in a child sized chokehold.

Needless to say, Tim gets that camera and then some. The Drakes happily pay for the instructors medical bill (just a mild sprain and a dislocated shoulder) and thank them for teaching their son the importance of not being kidnapped.

There’s a standing agreement between Jack and his son. Every time Tim avoids being kidnapped he gets some kind of new camera something. It’s to a point where Tim has a reputation in Gotham among the underworld as unkidnappable (not that it stopped people from trying).

Of course over the years Tim’s parents stuck him in multiple martial arts classes (on Tim’s request. This boy wants those camera’s) so more times than less he knocks out his assailants, takes a selfie with their unconscious bodies, and sends proof of avoidance to his parents alongside a link to whatever equipment he wanted.

This is all well and good until Tim becomes Robin. It shows up…I want to say three times that really stand out. The first time is with Ivy. Tim’s been hit with something that leaves him somewhat disoriented, but he’d trained for this. He’ll be fine. Ain’t no rogue getting him to a secondary location no siree. So he goes full feral mode and manages to knock out Ivy. To which he immediate pulls out his phone, takes a selfie, and sends it to his parents with a link because it’s habit and he might be concussed.

Within 24hrs the Drakes are standing at Bruce’s door with questions and also that new Camera lens Tim requested. Tim is hiding his face in his hands completely embarrassed because he does not remember sending his parents the selfie of him posing in full Robin gear with an unconscious Ivy behind him, but here we are. (The Drakes expect regular injury reports and also hash out a deal for Tim to stay at the manor whenever they have to travel. Also Tim’s grades have to stay up and he’s not allowed out during finals).

The second time is probably with the joker. There’s an Arkham breakout and Joker escapes and does manage to get Tim. The Bats are out in full force looking for him when a message pings in their group chat. It’s a selfie of Tim, looking worse for wear with a somewhat foggy look in his eyes, but theirs a feral smile in his face and a probably unconscious and not dead joker in the background.

“Talk shit get hit.” He’d messaged followed by a ping of his exact coordinates.

The most recent and most memorable happened post time stream shenanigans. Ra’s is a little too obsessed with Tim and Tim is just a little too sleep deprived to play along with the pseudo immortals mind games. When asked Tim will admit to remembering nothing, but the proof is in the family chat.

“Get good.” Followed by a selfie of Tim hugging what was probably a mug of coffee but behind him were at least 4 ninja’s and Ra’s Al Ghul himself slumped unconscious looking like they’d been attacked by a wild animal.

“Also I’m on a boat in the middle of Gotham Harbor can someone come pick me up plsssssss.”

PERCY was confused too. I mean he was upset but he was also confused.

Nothing will be as funny as the utter confusion in Ares, Annabeth, and Grover’s faces when Percy challenged Ares to single combat

Finally! SOMEONE acknowledges it!

Headcanon for the Batkids:

Steph: So, which one of you is dick's favorite?

Jason and Damian, at the same time: Me.

Jason: Excuse you Demon, why the hell do you think you’re his favorite?

Damian: I was his Robin not long ago, remember? We had grown quite close as partners and brothers.

Jason: Yeah, well I was his first brother. If not for me he wouldn’t have known what to do with one.

Jason and Damian continue to argue:

Duke: She knows it's Tim, right?

Cass: She knows.

Bonus:

Tim, just existing:

Dick: I would kill for you.

Tim: *sighs* I know, Dick.

Dick: Just say the word, and I’ll do it.

Tim: I know, Dick.

I don’t know if Damian would have a Purrloin or something horrifying, maybe both. He adores each and everyone of his Pokémon. Jon had a little Jigglypuff, a Purrloin(from Damian), and a growlette. He loves them all.

supersons as pokemon gym leaders but i got too tired to digitize their stills

I’ve looked back at old messages of me threatening to ‘castrate you and make you WISH you’d been born with a vagina’ to a friend and I was horrified because I had GENUINELY forgotten that he friend I was talking to was ftm… I showed him the old messages and he had laughed because he knows that I forgot that he didn’t HAVE a duck…

reading old messages is really fucked up because you see things and you’re like i would not fucking say that

People keep forgetting that he went villain with Tim. Like this boy is RIDE AND DIE.

I hate when Bart Allen is shoe-horned into the role of "silly speedster guy". He is so much more complex. He is desperate to do good, he spaces out, he is so protective of the people he loves, he is angry (with the world and himself) more often that one might think, he is firmly loyal, he is fighting an uphill battle against his own nature.

He is not just a goofy guy.

Lol Tim somehow doesn’t notice for years until Damian is older AND bigger.

Bart: I was bored and reading about deities of the world,

Tim: as you do

Bart: yeah, and you know how Cassie is part Greek God?

Cassie: do I want to know where this is going?

Bart: do you think if we started giving her offerings and worshipping her she'd turn into a full Goddess?

Kon: don't know till we try! OH GODDESS! Accept my offering *throws gummies at Cassie*

Cassie: *smiling with a pack of gummies* you joke but I'm keeping these.

Tim: *not looking up from his phone* oh Goddess Cassie, please let us have a peaceful day.

Cissie: *walking into the room* ?

Kon: we're worshiping Cassie to see if we can make her a Goddess.

Cissie: oh ok, merciful and beautiful Goddess-

Cassie: *laughing*

Cissie: -please grant me knowledge on my next exam because SOMEONE *glares at all of them* keeps pulling me into Young Justice mission's and I haven't studied *drops down in a chair and tosses her a bracelet* my offering.

Cassie: *still laughing* knowledge granted.

Tim:… fair, although I hope she doesn’t try to get me to go back with her. I’d hate to have to blow up Damian’s mother. He might actually kill me this time.

*After joker escapes and tries to kill jason again*

Talia appearing out of nowhere*

Bruce: wha-

Talia: i'm ending this, and don't you dare try to stop me!

Tim: you're not going to stop her?

Bruce: would you?

Clark: i wouldn't, she scares me

When Dan comes to check up on them AGAIN he finds Damian coddling the child, Bruce pouting in the background, Tim staring in disbelief, and Dick cooing over his baby and his baby’s baby.

Dani should Kidnap The Clones.

It's basicly protective custody. Preemptive child services, if you will. NONE of these fuckers out here makin adorable clone baby just cause they want kids!

*kicks down the door to your shady lab* Knock Knock! ITS THE POLICE! *Walker's Shock troopers swarm the place as Dani secures the kids*

Look me in the eyes. You KNOW he'd love an excuse to enforce The Rules on people technically outside his jurisdiction. It's for The Children(tm)! Why, he simply had no CHOICE!

Meanwhile? Dani is shoving all these mal-adjusted Murder Clones into her Lair? Which is? Basicly a Door style Lair she hid inside Danny's Lair for safe keeping. It's shoved behind a vending machine just outside the observatory. And the inside? Goes on for DAYS.

Like national parks and every beautiful beach she ever came across. She smashed together the BEST sights and places she's found in her travels, like a collection. Always adding more. New waterfalls, new noodle shops, new fields of wine grapes. It's... beautiful. Snapshots of every wonderous little thing about Earth, stitched together.

They can't hurt anyone. Can't achieve their "objectives". Are just treated like actual individuals and the children they truely are. Are surrounded by other Clones. So it's NORMAL here. Just? All of it.

But also?

Dani and Dan? Teaming up to make History's Scariest Adoption Agency(TM). Dan runs it. Dan wants to know why EXACTLY you want a kid. Explain yourself to Dan. What are your references? Qualifications. He's doing a home visit to inspect the premises. He BETTER not find any suspicious Labs.

And? It just? Appears out of nowhere. It's powered by Zone Bullshit. One second you're thinking "oh woe is me D:> I will never have a child to fill my lovely home, because of all my Superhero Secrets and also because government bureaucracy!" And the next?

.....wasn't that an out of business taco bell? "Zone Adoptions"?

"....Free Clone Baby?"

Okay that is HIGHLY suspicious and as a hero you are basicly legally obligated to investigate. But now it's bigger on the inside? Fancy waiting room? You are being interrogated? Wait, no, you're supposed to be the one doing the-?

Somehow? You leave with your Clone Son from another Dimension. And a pamphlet. You're scheduled for a home visit in three days. You... you never told them where you live.

Somehow that doesn't seem like it will slow them down.

Did the Fae just Suprise Baby you with a clone baby? Can they DO that? W... what's happening? What days is this? Who ARE YOU PEOPLE?! HUH!?!?

Just? Imagine. IMAGINE. I was gonna say Bruce... but?

Damian.

He finds himself... pondering What Could Have Been. Had his Clones not wanted him dead. Wondering if he could have saved them. If, perhaps, he had found them as infants. Raised them. Could he have given them a good life? Been a good father?

He gets emotional. Fatherly. He's about 14.

Dan's been around Ghosts too long to remember how humans age or how age relates to development. This one TALKS like An Adult. Must be one. Probably just short.

And Damian? Never backs down. The second Dan starts challenging him? His character is flawless and his morals divine. He has never done anything wrong, ever, in his LIFE. Fuck you. And on TOP of that? He not only will be the SINGLE GREATEST FATHER TO EVER FATHER, his home is the most loving and beloved ON THE PLANET!

In entirety of EARTH'S history, no less!

....what are they arguing about?

*is handed a baby and kicked out of Dan's adoption agency*

See you in a few days!

(o.o ) *happy gurgling from the baby* *Damian.exe has stopped working*

Smash cut, after Damian speed runs his stages of grief at his own Dumbass Life Choices, to his rocking back up at the Manor like? Congratulations, Father. I have brought you your first grandson! Do Not ask how I obtained him. It was likely dubiously legal but I will not be returning him. We have bonded.

And just? Annihilating the collective Bats on one go. You did what? You have What?! That is a baby! WHY IS THERE A BABY?! How is there a baby!? WHOS BABY!? *sirens going off and everyone panicking*

Will Damian be allowed to KEEP the Baby? Ha! Hell no. Bruce will. Damian is a child. But it will be a Needlessly Dramatic Bat Cold War Of Dramatic Drama to pry that small cherubic baby from his grip long enough for Bruce to fill out the paperwork.

Child thieving bastard that he is. How dare he. That is Damian's SON! D:<

*happy oblivious baby noises as Alfred feeds him in the background, while the Bats do their Dramatic Custody War*

@hdgnj @babbling-babull @hypewinter @nerdpoe @lolottes @mutable-manifestation

The YJ has done this at least once. Tim has never let any of them live it down for it either.

Red Hood: *sees some criminal running down the street frantically* Look at this fuckin' guy. What's he runnin' from?

Red Robin: Somethin' chasin' him?

*sees Nightwing and Batman in pursuit*

Red Hood: *scrambling for grappling gun* Oh fuck, we're chasin' him!

Like… Anakin literally almost left Palpatine multiple times cause Obi Wan was in danger… this man could’ve been made Emperor if he had even HINTED at it..

Obi-Wan being star wars' biggest damsel in distress while also being one of the most powerful jedi ever is so funny to me. Like he's getting captured on purpose. That has to be whats happening. "Oh nooo ive gotten tied up by somebody who's obsessed with me again!!looks like someone equally obsessed with me has to swoop in and save me :33" He's the pillow princess of warfare

Tim Drake is Cassie Sandmark’s High Priest. The one who created a shrine, the one who called her ‘My Goddess’ to an alien, the one who brings offering—snacks, drinks, money, and such—, and the one who started it all.

Bart Allen is Cassie Sandmark’s second most devoted follower. He brings her snacks, shiny things, and beautiful new disastrous inventions. He is the second to call Cassie Sandmark his Goddess.

I can’t think of anything for Kon at the moment but that’ll probably change soon lmao

Bernard Dowl hates Tim’s friends. He hates that they get the same beaming smiles, unhinged science facts, obsessive adoration, and fierce protection as him.

Tim Drake hates Bernard’s friends. They get the same smiles, same jokes, same unhinged theories, and peaceful quiet as him.

Bernard Dowl loves Tim. Tim is the air in his lungs, his laughter, his love, his everything.

Tim Drake loves Bernard. Bernard is candied pictures, theory boards, quiet movie nights, and roaring laughter until they’re both sick.

i think tim is possessive in the way that he wants to monopolize bernard's attention but bernard is possessive in the way that he wants to monopolize all of tim's emotions. like if tim could he'd replace all the breath in bear's lungs with his own so with every exhale, bernard would only think tim, tim, tim. but bear wants to be the sole recipient of tim's emotions. he wants to keep every smile, every tear, every frown to himself. he wants all of that to only be his. but tim belongs to so many people unlike bear who only belongs to tim. so he settles with the way tim laughs so hard that he snorts, at his corny jokes, at home. he settles with the frown that appears on his face as he works out the kinks in a new WE proposal. bernard lets himself be content with the way tim looks when he's hovering over him -- flushed and panting, tears building up in the corners of tim's eyes. at least this, he thinks reaching out to caress his boyfriend's face, at least this is mine. only mine.

When Tim starts working out of San Francisco, he continues doing what he always does. Giving money to those who need it, helping, doing good. Tim is adored, and none of his family knows it. Tim is respected and not by the hero community. Tim is fucking feared and that will always be a point of pride.

The drakes are never in town and the entirety of Gotham minus the Drakes themselves and the Wayne’s are aware of this fact and band together to protect one small stalker child who continues to successfully reroute money from the wealthy and hand out large bills when he’s out doing night photography of the bats.

When Tim becomes Robin they all collectively decide to look the other way in regards to his secret identity.

When he disappears after Bruce gets lost in the time stream, there’s chaos. Grayson cannot figure out why the entire city seems so hostile against a new Robin.

When Tim returns as Red Robin there’s parties in the street but they disguised them as celebrations for the latest Arkham roundup being complete with zero casualties.

Tim always knew he’d come back to Gotham. Even if his family’s love is questionable, he knows the city loves him. He pretends he doesn’t know that they know who he is under the mask, but he can’t help but smile a little brighter when some random civilian looks up and yells out a greeting during his patrol.

He doesn’t hide a joy on his face when that one abuela on the 4th floor flags him down and hands him a basket of freshly baked goods.

A young girl made him a scarf once the winter set in one year Tim wore it every patrol with pride even if it was a little wonky in some places.

Jason’s the first to pick up on it. He mentioned targeting Red Robin one time and half his members threatened to quit on the spot. That’s Gothams collective child. The whole city will square up with you if you hurt him.

Oracles knows because it’s oracle. Stephanie was on the street before Tim was Robin. When Tim was just a Good Samaritan that everyone adored. She’s known the whole time and it’s am inside joke for them.

Idk about how the others find out, but it probably takes a while

I fully believe that Tim just refused to go with them. I like to think that at least once Jack or Janet begged their son to go with them and Tim was like ‘lmao. No’

unpopular opinion: jack drake was a better father than bruce wayne and i wish there were more fics where the drakes are good parents tbh

People are so forgetful. Like whenever Bruce isn’t a shitty dad he’s like, “Tim! Tim! My boy! My second favorite(Jason’s the first) son! Tim? Oh yes! Of course you can do this! Oh? No absolutely not! I can’t lose you!” And it’s hilarious because Tim dragged him out of hell and now I’m pretty sure if Tim ever went villain Bruce would ould just shatter

i am highly amused by the fanon idea that bruce never gave tim any love/attention/time of day because their dynamic in comics (when bruce wasn't being an asshole) was basically

bruce: tim, i'm going to pay for you to get special around the world training

bruce: tim, i made you a sandwich

bruce: tim, i made you a special robin car

bruce: tim, i've paid for an entire vacation for your school so you can check out something out for me

bruce: tim, i heard your girlfriend was leaving town and i didn't want you to be sad so i bought out the whole block of stores and now she can stay and go to school with you

bruce: tim, i have made new gadgets for us

bruce: tim, i hear you're going to boarding school. here, have my personal valet.

bruce: tim, of course you and dick can come visit me at work, behave yourself, and when i have amnesia i'm going to call you the boys and lucius fox is going to know exactly who i am talking about so i clearly must talk about the two of you at work a lot

bruce: tim, let's listen to the clash together

bruce: tim, of course you can build your nest where my parents died

I’m going to write this. I’m WakinLazyTurnip on Ao3 :) this is going go WELL

A new reason for why Young Justice is all 17 and not aging. They started a Dionysus-style cult centered around Cassie to see if they could make her into a Goddess, and it worked. In return, she made them all her immortal companions'.

Does Tim NOT remember that world where he and his team took over the world because Tim went villain??

Tim Drake is so funny because he’s like “Everyone hates me and honestly, same” when actually nobody does??

Tim: “Jason hates me :(“

Jason: “Tim is the only member of the Bats that I can spend time with without wanting to strangle him.”

Tim: “Dick just deals with me because he has to :(“

Dick: “I would kill for Tim.”

Tim: “Bruce doesn’t view me as family :(“

Bruce: “I literally adopted Tim.”

Tim: “My friends don’t trust me :(“

Literally all of his friends: “Tim said I should jump off this bridge and while that does seem stupid, it’s Tim asking, so I’m jumping.”

Tim, calling out into the air: Plan Besh(we’re going villain)!

Kon, turning to the others: Plan Besh.

Bart, cheering loudly: he’ll yeah! This’ll be fun!

Cassie, calling Anita with a smirk: let’s take over the world boys.

Bruce: Kon-el, Red Robin has gone rogue. We require assistance apprehending him.

Kon: Is it mind control?

Bruce: I-

Kon: Or like, a body swap? Manipulation? Has he been threatened?

Bruce: Well-

Kon: Or is it of his own free will?

Bruce: Does that matter?

Kon: Duh. Young Justice is ride and die, man.

Bruce: ...I believe the phrase is 'ride or die'

Kon: No, I don't think so.

I present to you, brotherhood. Bashing each other and playing dirty then going to places that interest both of you.

Dick just doesn't understand their perfect and completely normal dymanic 🙄

Like, let them have their conversation calm down ur dramatic beans

Tim with the YJ. “If Red Tornado didn’t see us with anything that is DIRECTLY tied to the act he won’t yell at us.”

Red Tornado yells at them later.

Bruce: This plan of yours, one assumes it is entirely legal?

Dick: Yep.

Tim: Of course.

Jason: Entirely.

Damian: Obviously

Bruce: Right…I Wasn’t here. Didn’t see it. Couldn’t have stopped you.

Tim’s like one(TM) fear is becoming hum Batman. YJ’s one(TM) fear is losing their Best Friend because of the Bats.

RedHood! Tim AU except he quits during the middle of the intense reveal showdown because Bart, Kon, and Cassie catch wind that he's back and what he's doing and say

"Tim!!! Remember how you SWORE you wouldn't become gun batman!??! Look look in a mirror, you're halfway there!!!

And Tim's just like

"Shittt, ur right. Party's over guys I gotta go home and think about this".

Then they have a yj sleepover while the rest if the batfam are like, "what the fuck?!? Tim's actually back?!?! And he's evil? But he just quit being evil???! I have.. SO MANY QUESTIONS"

Bruce: you are grounded.

Tim, feral grin in place as he stands calmly from his seat: you owe me for my time as Robin~

Bruce:… fair. Have fun.

Bruce, looking up from his paperwork: Tim, no. Tim:, setting down his coffee, grin growing, looking towards someone who's pissing him off: Tim, yes.

Kon popping in: if he ends up dead cause of you, you lose the bet.

Tim, groaning: **fine**

Tim : Can’t you just hit him with your knife?

Dick : I believe the term is ‘Stab’.

Jason and Damian : *Confused and afraid to know why Tim asked Dick instead of either of them*