CW: Reference To Rape, Ptsd Responses, An Ableist Slur

CW: reference to rape, ptsd responses, an ableist slur

I’m a broken record but post-cage Sam actually having ptsd and acting like someone with ptsd is SO important to me.

Sam sitting in a diner and being unable to answer when the waitress asks what he wants so Dean just says “he’s shy sorry, he wants pancakes” and then dean cuts up the pancakes for sam and feeds it to him cuz he can’t do it himself.

Sam in the grocery store with dean trying to be helpful and get the pasta but he’s skittish and flinches whenever anybody is near and he keeps fidgeting so he seems a bit off but Dean is just proud of him cuz before he wouldn’t leave dean’s side for a second so it’s progress. Then they go to checkout and Sam’s still fidgeting and won’t look the cashier in the eye and the cashier smiles at dean and says “I’ve got a nephew like that too” and dean internally like “what??” And he doesn’t fully get it until later

They’re on a park bench and Sam is clearly a bit off but he hasn’t had a fit or breakdown today yet so Dean thinks it a pretty good day until some kid’s ball comes flying over to them and at first deans worried the fast movement will freak him out but instead he picks up the ball and the kid come over and he tries to hand the ball back but he has a tremor and drops it and apologizes but he has a hard time speaking now so it’s a bit broken up and gargled but Dean thinks it’s an improvement compared to when sam could only speak in screams and Enochian. He tries to pick the ball up again but the kid gets it before him and gives him a weird look and dean can faintly hear him whisper under his breath “retard” and just hopes Sam didn’t hear it.

Sam has serious brain fog sometimes and wanderers away from dean and then forgets where he is and thinks he’s back in the cage and freaks out. Dean finds him just in time before a shop clerk calls the police cuz the clerk tried to touch him and Sam knocked him in the jaw.

Sam has a hard time reading cuz he can’t focus and English is hard to read now because the words all swim and blur together and he’s upset about it so Dean starts reading books outloud to him.

Sam drops a glass and he freaks out and starts to cower and bends over to try and pick up the shards with his bare hands and he nicks his palms but he just dosent want Dean to be mad he can’t he can’t he can’t and Dean just softly grabs Sam’s hands to stop him and tells him he’s okay and that deans not mad

Sam sitting in a diner drinking coffee like he used to and deans happy abt it cuz he’s acting like he used to but then he spills the hot coffee on him and suddenly all he can feel is fire fire fire burning him alive and Lucifer laughing and Lucifer’s hot burning cock sinking into him and searing him from the inside— and then he comes back to himself later in a motel with dean sitting next to him. His shirt has been stripped off and dean’s already treated the burn wounds.

Sam loses himself in his mind somedays. It’s like he blinks and suddenly it’s three days later and Sam’s so scared cuz SO much time has already been taken from him. And deans so scared cuz Sam will seemingly shrink into himself for days as if he’s on autopilot.

More Posts from Ephostame and Others

1 year ago

Since I'm almost done working on em here's my demolition lovers costumes so far!

Since I'm Almost Done Working On Em Here's My Demolition Lovers Costumes So Far!
Since I'm Almost Done Working On Em Here's My Demolition Lovers Costumes So Far!
Since I'm Almost Done Working On Em Here's My Demolition Lovers Costumes So Far!
Since I'm Almost Done Working On Em Here's My Demolition Lovers Costumes So Far!

I started this in like mid/late March I believe

This is my first time doing beading ever, I probably should have started with something smaller or even tested on some scrap but I am nothing if not stupidly ambitious.

I wanna say this is roughly 14hours of work so far, I still want to add more to the dress and possibly make some accessories, we will see what I can get done by Saturday lol

11 months ago

ai generated images make me increasingly sad and tired the more i see them in more and more casual contexts. i dont know how to explain, but it just fills the world with a bunch of nothing. no matter how visually stunning the pictures might be, there's nothing behind it for me. no dedication, no emotions, no feelings, no hard work or creativity, nothing i can truly think about, admire or enjoy. i dont think thats how art is supposed to be

3 weeks ago
Every Saturday Passes Me By And I Think Maybe I Should Post Those Fun Little Textposts That I Enjoy Making
Every Saturday Passes Me By And I Think Maybe I Should Post Those Fun Little Textposts That I Enjoy Making
Every Saturday Passes Me By And I Think Maybe I Should Post Those Fun Little Textposts That I Enjoy Making
Every Saturday Passes Me By And I Think Maybe I Should Post Those Fun Little Textposts That I Enjoy Making
Every Saturday Passes Me By And I Think Maybe I Should Post Those Fun Little Textposts That I Enjoy Making
Every Saturday Passes Me By And I Think Maybe I Should Post Those Fun Little Textposts That I Enjoy Making
Every Saturday Passes Me By And I Think Maybe I Should Post Those Fun Little Textposts That I Enjoy Making
Every Saturday Passes Me By And I Think Maybe I Should Post Those Fun Little Textposts That I Enjoy Making
Every Saturday Passes Me By And I Think Maybe I Should Post Those Fun Little Textposts That I Enjoy Making
Every Saturday Passes Me By And I Think Maybe I Should Post Those Fun Little Textposts That I Enjoy Making
Every Saturday Passes Me By And I Think Maybe I Should Post Those Fun Little Textposts That I Enjoy Making
Every Saturday Passes Me By And I Think Maybe I Should Post Those Fun Little Textposts That I Enjoy Making
Every Saturday Passes Me By And I Think Maybe I Should Post Those Fun Little Textposts That I Enjoy Making
Every Saturday Passes Me By And I Think Maybe I Should Post Those Fun Little Textposts That I Enjoy Making
Every Saturday Passes Me By And I Think Maybe I Should Post Those Fun Little Textposts That I Enjoy Making
Every Saturday Passes Me By And I Think Maybe I Should Post Those Fun Little Textposts That I Enjoy Making
Every Saturday Passes Me By And I Think Maybe I Should Post Those Fun Little Textposts That I Enjoy Making
Every Saturday Passes Me By And I Think Maybe I Should Post Those Fun Little Textposts That I Enjoy Making
Every Saturday Passes Me By And I Think Maybe I Should Post Those Fun Little Textposts That I Enjoy Making
Every Saturday Passes Me By And I Think Maybe I Should Post Those Fun Little Textposts That I Enjoy Making
Every Saturday Passes Me By And I Think Maybe I Should Post Those Fun Little Textposts That I Enjoy Making
Every Saturday Passes Me By And I Think Maybe I Should Post Those Fun Little Textposts That I Enjoy Making
Every Saturday Passes Me By And I Think Maybe I Should Post Those Fun Little Textposts That I Enjoy Making
Every Saturday Passes Me By And I Think Maybe I Should Post Those Fun Little Textposts That I Enjoy Making
Every Saturday Passes Me By And I Think Maybe I Should Post Those Fun Little Textposts That I Enjoy Making
Every Saturday Passes Me By And I Think Maybe I Should Post Those Fun Little Textposts That I Enjoy Making
Every Saturday Passes Me By And I Think Maybe I Should Post Those Fun Little Textposts That I Enjoy Making
Every Saturday Passes Me By And I Think Maybe I Should Post Those Fun Little Textposts That I Enjoy Making
Every Saturday Passes Me By And I Think Maybe I Should Post Those Fun Little Textposts That I Enjoy Making
Every Saturday Passes Me By And I Think Maybe I Should Post Those Fun Little Textposts That I Enjoy Making

every saturday passes me by and i think maybe i should post those fun little textposts that i enjoy making because they make me laugh. and then i don't. this has been in my drafts since late october. all i had to do was tag. and yet. and yet, | spotify wrapped sucked this year and it made me remember youtube rewind's existence somehow. anyone remember her? she was great. anyway, if you also want to go back in time, click here!

5 months ago
That's Kind Of Crazy
That's Kind Of Crazy

that's kind of crazy


Tags
1 year ago

Ok but could you imagine if Adam ended up in John’s Dean’s care?

Sam would be about 12/13 and still looking like he’s 9 because he hit puberty late and Dean looking like he’s in his early 20s from all this trauma he gained as a child

Dean who just lost another 18 years of his life to play parent(s) to another one of John’s kids

Dean would be out one day with the two, Adam babbling on his hip as he holds Sam’s hand to cross the street and some lady coos and says he has cute kids

Dean stalling in the middle of the road before Sam whines about ice cream

He a father to a 5 year old toddler and a young teenager


Tags
2 months ago

not normie enough to fit in but not fringe enough to lean into being a freak, worst of both worlds, pure liminality, just the weird coworker, and unrelatable classmate. and your mutual

3 weeks ago
NHL X Internet 7/?
NHL X Internet 7/?
NHL X Internet 7/?
NHL X Internet 7/?
NHL X Internet 7/?
NHL X Internet 7/?
NHL X Internet 7/?
NHL X Internet 7/?
NHL X Internet 7/?
NHL X Internet 7/?

NHL x internet 7/?

1 year ago

Well my Fox time travel fix-it is officially complete!!! Whew it always feels so good to finish a project, even if I’m always left a little shocked that I made it to that point.

The fic is called Do-Over and if anybody wants to see me torture Fox and then slowly build him back up to a functional and - dare I say - happy individual I invite you to check it out!

archiveofourown.org
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

Tags
1 year ago

Dean, hands gripping Sam’s waist, smiling up at his baby brother who’s gotten so much taller since leaving, finally hitting proper height, thumbs pressed into the divots of his hips, rubbing little circles into flesh. Sam, staring down at Dean with flushed cheeks and gentle eyes, taking in Dean’s freckles and the cut on his lip, how much he’s changed, pressing their chests together to feel his steady heartbeat while his own hands settle just above his ass, barely keeping decent.

And Jess, watching from the doorway in something between horror and shock as Sam opens his mouth and professes — “babe, this is my brother, Dean.”


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4 months ago

Kabuto's such a weird guy because he sorta befriends naruto, gives him advice and willingly helps him but afterwards he immediately drops out the exams so he can do some sketchy villain shit. He then tried to kill sasuke at some point until orochimaru was like oh hes my new body and he just goes ok boss. Oh and he also fought kakashi and got away and kakashi acknowledges how powerful he is and never thinks to bring it up to anyone else. He then betrays naruto without him even knowing up until they go out to find tsunade which is MONTHS after the chunin exams. He proceeds to beat the shit out of him whilst acting as orochimarus arms because he lost them and he was probably also wiping his ass at this point. He then leaves with orochimaru and plays nurse for a good few years until orochimaru was done shedding his skin or whatever he does as a weird snake immortal human tri hybrid and then when he does appears in shippunden hes feigning as a spy attempting to kill sasori of all people a member of the most dangerous organisation in naruto what the fuck was he thinking.

He's loyal but freakishly off putting to any outsiders because hes out here sacrificing anyone for orochimaru and speaking as if hes the centre of your world because he expects naruto uzumaki of all people just to know hes orochimarus left hand man slash special guy


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ephostame - phos
phos

just here to see the sights | she/her

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