Erroryessica - Ironic

Once upon a time, there was a little egg named Hope. She calls herself Hope as that's all she has in her little glass cage. Well, she has her journal, too. She writes to ignore the pain in her stomach. She hopes to be adopted. It's cold and she's very tired. She'll close her eyes and rest.

This isn't the end of the story, not this time.

There's a detective who explores the 'adoption center' that holds little Hope in her glass cage. The detective finds the little girl curled up, shivering and barely breathing. He swears as he breaks the glass to get her out of her cage. The detective wraps his jacket around little Hope to warm her up. She opens her eyes just barely to see the face of what she believes is an angel. The detective does not believe himself an angel.

Hope wakes up in a bed, way more comfortable than cold dirt, surrounded by concerned faces. She doesn't recognize where she is, but she recognizes the face of the detective. The detective is taken aback when the little egg reaches for him. She's tinier than his son was. The hospital bed makes her look even smaller. The detective thinks he'll break little Hope like glass if he picks her up. She falls asleep against his chest.

Hope's pai lives in a castle surrounded by red trees. She lives there too. She lives with her pa and older brother. Her pa and older brother are silly. Little Hope giggles as her nose is covered in paint.

Sometimes, there can only be hope for a better ending.

pov: charlie’s a bamf and stops the box by being hench 💪

foolish sucks cellbit off (2024)

Two Ways to Adjust the Egg Life System

So, since the Eggs ran away in September and lived for weeks free of tasks and lives, and after they survived Purgatory while doing zero tasks, and after the three newer eggs survived for seemingly their entire lives without tasks or lives, a lot of people- both fans and creators and egg admins- have been complaining about the Egg Life System and how bullshit it is in terms of both player experience and the island’s established lore. It’s an outdated system that isn’t fun for anybody involved, and it should be properly updated for the new year.

Eggs have been the QSMP’s lifeblood since when they were first introduced in April. They were initially an event then, but they soon developed into actual people with actual personalities that both the audience and the players all became ridiculously attached to.

Eggs are given to new players to give them someone to hang out with when they’re alone on the server, and they exist for that purpose for everybody else, too.

So, if that’s the case… why the fuck can they still permadie? When lore itself showed that they don’t need to do tasks, and when players like the Korean members or like Roier or Bad would be completely alone on the server without the eggs keeping them company, it really begs the question of whether or not it’s possible to still have the eggs at risk while not explicitly killing them.

And so I present a couple of ways to adapt the Egg System to the QSMP 2024 while still allowing the eggs to be put at risk and while still having consequences for risky behavior and while still keeping the cookie system in place because, really, that’s a decent way of doing the tasks.

1. Hospitalization

Post-Purgatory, it was revealed that there’s an Egg Hospital. And it really would make sense for the server’s hyper capitalist second season to keep the hospital, and to use it the American Way.

When an egg goes down and “dies”, the egg respawns like a player would. But the egg respawns in the Egg Hospital at Spawn, and the parents have to pay a hefty fee for their eggs’ health.

The server already makes everybody collect coins and go into debt, so why not apply that to the eggs?

The fee the parents would have to pay would be ridiculous, like maybe 10k coins. Any coins they get from bounties would go to that and not to their own pockets, but the egg would still be alive. Every time the egg dies, the fee would increase regardless of whether or not the parents paid it off the last time.

So an egg has infinite lives, but the eggs and their parents are still punished for deaths. It keeps the parents from being able to buy necessities like warps or things from the Spawn Shops.

Egg Tasks are completed in exchange for Cookie Coupons, which allow the purchase of one cookie per coupon free of any monetary charge. In an emergency, parents can add to their debt by buying cookies outright. This way, eggs still get to do tasks while the parents are paying their debt.

Is this system harsh? Yeah, but so are permadeaths. This system just switches the deaths out for American-style medical debt that will ruin the parents financially should they ‘allow’ their eggs to die.

2. Repossession

Since the start of QSMP2024, the bunny employees have been trying to buy the eggs from their parents. Why not adapt that?

If an egg dies under this system, the parents receive a Strike from the Federation. After two Strikes, the egg is taken from their parents by a bunny social worker to live with the Federation until the parents can prove they’re a “good parent.”

The parents do this by taking paid parenthood classes taught by the Federation that would cost maybe 500 coins per class (coming to a total cost of 3,500 coins.) After a week of classes, the parents get their kids back.

The classes would basically be a bunny worker showing up at the parent’s home and making them do egg tasks for the bunny instead, maybe for ten minutes per day, showing that the parents can still take care of their eggs and that they aren’t neglectful or anything.

Furthermore, before the parents get their eggs back, they have to build a room specifically for their eggs if they don’t have one built already, and that room must be inspected by the bunny social worker. Parents have to show that they have food prepared for the egg. They have to have a set of armor prepared for the egg, and a sword and pickax. They have to have at least one toy or egg cosmetic purchased and waiting for the egg in the egg’s new room.

Once all this is done, after a week, the eggs get to come back, and their Strikes are reset.

This isn’t too bad, but 3,500 coins is a lot of money for a lot of players, and having to do all these chores and not having their eggs around punishes both the players and the eggs the same way a permadeath would. It’s just that this doesn’t include the egg dying, it includes a new form of Egg Trauma.

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If you have any other ideas of new systems, I’d be curious to hear them. And feel free to screenshot and share this post to Twitter if you want, that’s cool.

I just think there are ways to mess with the players and the audience without killing the eggs off, that’s all.

These systems I have proposed accommodate for server lag and general unpreparedness, such as not having good enough armor or going into a dungeon without backup.

Just an experiment. Reblog if you actually give a fuck about male victims of domestic violence and rape.

Of fucking course

What sick bastard doesn’t

Open Collab! 

There’s a white background or transparent background! 

Chip n’ dale

Dungeon Stream >> 1, 2, 3, 4

lil egg sitting

richarlyson is finished! i decided to animate him doing a little wave hehe >:]

Grace n Petey🍂

Wholly inspired from this panel🥹:

I love Petey's mom. Even though we can only see her through Petey's memories, I oddly find her character the most comforting. Definitely she's the main push to Petey's growth, through Lil Petey. The sillies are pulling my heart strings