Ewoo - Whoop-De-Doo

guys this is gonna sound embarrassing but i just found out the name of one of my classmates two months before the school year ends.. he's my friend like he came to my birthday but i didn't knew his name

Lup: *crashes through the wall of the lab*

Barry: hot elf lady?! What are you doing doing here?

Lup: *puts on fake moustache glasses*

Barry: *gasp* Lup the hot elf lady!?

concept for a TAZ AU (it’s technically sort of a crossover) (as a fun little game you can guess what it is and i’ll tell you at the end)

Stolen Century still happens, probably mostly the same. The canon divergence happens when we hit Faerûn.

Barry Bluejeans, under the power of the Voidfish, loses all knowledge of his history and context… but he retains his general smarts in science & magic.

Lup works for the Bureau of Balance. Under orders from Lucretia, she goes on secret missions to prevent Barry’s plans.

Barry is self-proclaimedly “evil”. He wants to destroy and/or take over the Moon. He doesn’t remember the real reason, so he makes up a new nonsense reason to hate it each week.

Tres Horny Boys are having their own wacky, highly improbable relic-getting adventures. These occasionally intersect with Barry and Lup’s fights.

To keep from being identified as Taako’s twin, Lup wears a disguise when she goes to fight Barry. Barry’s voidfish-scrambled brain literally cannot identify her without the disguise.

I GUESS Davenport is Lucretia’s unpaid intern

anyway. as you can probably tell if you are already familiar.

this is a phineas and ferb au.

Elves are cats and Dwarves are dogs.

That's why they hate each other

also consider: LOTR but hobbits have Tapeta Lucidum

Boromir gets the fright of his life their first night on the road

May you wake up to an inbox full of incoherent AO3 comments

@silver-tounges-and-golden-lies I didn't know you were in Iceland

Keiko breaching in Iceland

terrible news. the exact fanfiction i want has not magically appeared and i may have to write it myself. more at 11

“lol but why is this actually good” because i made it in earnest?? because i loved it??? because i love you??? because quality and humor are not mutually exclusive???? hold my hand. it’s okay

Reasons to Kill Your Characters

Killing your characters at the right time (and having a reason behind it) is important. Here are some reasons behind why you might want to kill a character or two.

1) It can serve as poetic justice. This is when the bad guys are punished and the good guys are rewarded. When the antagonistic force finally gets what they deserve, it can satisfy the reader. If you’ve ever watched Game of Thrones, you know how angering it is when the bad guys always preserver. Giving them a well-deserved demise can be like lemonade on a blistering hot day for your reader.

2) Can death strengthen your current theme? Is your theme love, friendship, betrayal, good vs. evil, survival, etc.? Death can be used to intensify each and every theme. Someone who’s afraid to love because of past loss, a friendship bond broken by a death, a betrayer killing your protagonist’s friend. 

3) It can develop your protagonist and advance the plot. While you might not want to necessarily kill a character for the sole purpose of hurting your protagonist, if the death does achieve that, you’re developing them! Does this death motivate them to push forward? Does it put a hole in their plan? Create new conflict? Deaths can be great for moving the plot forward or putting obstacles in the way of your cast.

4) Killing certain characters can bring closure to their story/arc. Sometimes death can be the best way to end an arc. Depending on who the character is, after they’ve served their purpose to the story, is it better to let them linger, have their story continue off page somewhere or to kill them?

5) Death can build tone. If your tone tone is happy and lighthearted then this isn’t for you. However, if the tone you’re going for is tragic, dark and/or dreary… death can intensify that vibe. (Not just the death of characters… but the death of a time period, happiness, animals, flowers, etc.)

6) Death adds realism. Loss is apart of life (sadly). Is it actually realistic for everyone to survive at the end of an epic fantasy journey? Especially when most of them are novices learning along the way, running into skilled villains, dangerous creatures and mysterious illnesses? Death comes and goes whenever, wherever. This unexpected element can add realism to your story.

7) Shock the characters and your reader. This one is risky. You’ve probably heard it before– killing a character out of the blue with no foreshadowing or reasoning can upset the reader. However, you can still have an abrupt death that has meaning. A selfish (yet beloved) character who suddenly sacrifices himself for another. He wasn’t expected to die, but the way he did had meaning.

Instagram: coffeebeanwriting

Emergency cleaning: Unfuck your whole house in the shortest time possible

So, your landlord/parents/home inspector/favorite movie star is dropping by, and your place is a disaster. You don’t have much time to clean it up. You’re in emergency mode. Let’s get started.

Don’t panic. Panic leads to fear, fear leads to procrastination, procrastination leads to the dark side. You can do this, but you have to stay calm.

Unlike maintenance cleaning, we’re not looking to completely unfuck one space at a time. Instead, we want to decrease the overall mess in stages, spread evenly across the whole area that we’re concerned about. If you think your home is at Level 10 filth, we want to bring the whole thing down to a Level 9, and then down from there. One really clean spot in an otherwise messy home is not going to be helpful here.

Get prepared. You’ll want to shut the computer down (or turn the modem off if you need your computer to play music). Trust me. Get your music going. Gather up trash bags, your vacuum and mop, some rags or paper towel, sponges, and other cleaning supplies. Use what you have on hand. Don’t get distracted running to the store and spending an hour browsing cleaning supplies. A multi-purpose cleaning concentrate or a jug of vinegar will be just fine.

Breaks are very important. Depending on your time constraints, work in 20/10s (20 minutes working, 10-minute break) or 45/15s. But take breaks because otherwise you’re marathoning, and marathon cleaning is no one’s friend. Keep hydrated, don’t forget to eat, and check in with yourself frequently to make sure you’re physically doing OK.

Make your bed. This will be your home base if you get overwhelmed or need somewhere clear to take a break.

Start with the garbage. Going from room to room, throw out anything that is obvious trash. Once you fill a bag, take it out. Repeat as many times as necessary.

Move on to dishes. Gather the dishes from all over your house and bring them to the kitchen. If you can, start them soaking in a sink of hot, soapy water or start loading the dishwasher. After the dishes are all in one place, spend one 20/10 getting started getting them under control.

Now it’s time for your flat surfaces. Countertops, tables, dresser tops, etc. Clear them off and wipe them down. Don’t get distracted in too much sorting and organizing. We’re in crisis mode here. There will be time to get in-depth once this is all done. The same applies to cabinets and closets. Unless you have reason to believe people will be opening closed doors, leave these alone for now.

Attack the floordrobe and shoe pile. Get your clothes either put away or in the hamper. Start a load of laundry if you need to, but keep in mind that laundry and dishes have three steps: wash, dry, and put it away, goddammit!

Get random stuff up off the floors. If something is trash-worthy, throw it away now rather than just move it around a bunch of times. Otherwise, put stuff where it belongs.

Take another 20/10 or 45/15 to catch up on more dishes, if needed.

Head into the bathroom. Pour some cleaner in the toilet bowl, fill the sink with hot water and cleaner, and either spray the tub and shower with cleaner, or fill the tub up with some hot water and add cleaner and let it soak. Put everything away that’s out and shouldn’t be, clean the mirror, counters, and toilet seat. Sweep or dry mop the floor. Wipe down the sink and tub/shower, and give the toilet bowl a scrub. Mop the floor.

Sweep and mop the kitchen floor.

Vacuum everything you can, and sweep everything you can’t.

Walk outside of your house (don’t lock yourself out, please). Walk back in and see what catches your eye first. Go and deal with that.

If you’re being inspected or your landlord is coming in for repairs, spend time on whatever area they’ll be focusing on.

Give the whole place one more once-over and pay attention to anything you’ve missed so far.

It’s an old trick, but if your place is a little funky-smelling, put a pan of water on the stove on low heat and add some citrus or cinnamon or vanilla. Don’t leave it unattended or forget about it.

Take a shower, put on something clean, and eat something.

You can do this. It’s overwhelming, yes, but it is not impossible. You just need to do it. You have a list. You have directions. You have a whole bunch of Internet strangers who have been there before and who are cheering you on. You can do this, but you need to get started.

Why are you still here? GO. START. NOW.