Yes I Re-read My Own Fics Because I Wrote Them For ME

Instant Karma

*British gasp*

Do non-americans realize that the United States is literally just a bunch of countries in a trench coat that agreed to be semi-nice to each other in order to sneak into the Big Boy Club? Because let’s be honest that’s just what the USA is

brb gonna catch up on the Dream SMP

/rp im still never gonna be over the fact that, after tommy’s prison break-in stream, the general fandom response was “how could sam stop caring about tommy like that!?” when, if you’ve been keeping up with sam’s arc over the past few months, that stream did nothing but show how much he adores tommy

when ponk stole sam’s old keycards and even entertained the idea of breaking into prison, sam took his life, and his arm. sam gave him warnings, yes, but when ponk went through with it anyways sam showed him no mercy

compare this to tommy, who actually broke in. who got all the way to the main cell before being caught. who sam thinks is actively trying to break dream out. what does sam do to him in response? absolutely nothing. you can’t even say tommy got off with a slap on the wrist, because sam didn’t even do that much! he didn’t hit tommy a single time

and that, my friends, is one of the reasons why sam was so excruciatingly angry during this scene. he was angry at himself for not living up to his own expectations as The Warden. for not being strong enough. he was angry at tommy for even putting him in that position in the first place, and revealing his weaknesses. he repeats it over and over: “you should be dead right now. i should have killed you.” but he loves tommy too much to let him off with anything but a warning

when sam says “you should be dead” he means “the protocol states i should have killed you, but i can’t (i don’t want to) and that infuriates me”. when sam says “this is why i let you die- what am i supposed to do now?” he means “this is why i didn’t let you out of the cell. i was afraid dream would take advantage of the situation and something worse would happen”

sam says “go away. i don’t ever want to see you again”. he means “i don’t want you to die” 

One of my favorite scenes from @kittydemon9000’s ninjago story on Ao3

All of these statements:

"C!Tommy is a badass: has great leadership qualities, is smarter and stronger than he looks, has survived immeasurable trauma and pulled himself out of it, takes initiative in solving problems, seeks to better himself with no prompting from others, etc."

"C!Tommy is soft: just wants peace and safety for him and his loved ones, loves animals and flowers and has an appreciation for things most would find disposable, gives his friends hugs and holds their hands, blames himself too much, has a habit of desperately looking for guidance and purpose, is easily malleable by people he looks up to, etc."

"C!Tommy is troublesome: tends to be reckless and impulsive, gets tunnel vision and is short sighted sometimes, is prone to anger and lashing out, has hurt people in the past, sometimes ignores the reality of a situation when too scared/conflicted to accept it, tends to be annoying and test people's limits, etc."

can and do coexist, and that's why I love him so much!! He's a soft ball of yarn covered in needles, he's a loud chihuahua who'll bite you and claw up your lawn and cuddle up next to you after, he's a menace and a protector and a victim and a fool. He's all of it at once. I don't want to take away any of it, because without his strong will he wouldn't have survived, and without his soft soul he wouldn't have lived, and without his flaws his life wouldn't be meaningful, because it's the flaws that make him feel human. He's an intricate dumbass, and I love him for it <3

Y'ALL

Billionaire Mark Cuban has launched a war against Big Pharma. Recently, he started an online pharmacy where over 100 lifesaving medications are offered at low costs. He charges a standard 15% markup in an industry that typically sees no less than 100% markup. In just one example, a life saving leukemia drug with a typical retail price of $9,657 is offered by him for a total of $47. Insurance is not accepted due to the fact that it would force him to work with manufacturers requiring certain price points.

https://costplusdrugs.com/

May you wake up to an inbox full of incoherent AO3 comments

You ever read one of your own fics and just go “damn im good” and then you read another and its a steaming pile of horseshit

happy april fools. please take this egg

hahahahahha………………..

youve been fooled………………by the april fools beeper……………..it was a fully grown bird the entire time…..no egg………………it tells u it hopes u hav a good april 1st