...let's Clean!

an eloquent take down of the "people are self diagnosing autism to be trendy and for attention" take that morons have been echoing on tiktok

[video description is the reblogs, its very long]

Gege, wanna see a trick? 🥰🥰🥰

i made pokemon teams for like almost every carmen sandiego character

started making these like a month ago bc i thought it’d be fun. went with no legends, no repeats on one team. teams + my explanations for them under the cut.

carmen’s team:

ampharos 

blaziken

quaquaval

thievul

whimsicott

weavile

i’d imagine ampharos was her first pokemon, because… black sheep. blaziken fits the red, plus it and quaquaval remind me of how carmen fights. thievul, whimsicott, and weavile are all because.. thief. also, i tried choosing pokemon from a wide range of regions for her.

player’s team:

porygon2

litten 

abra 

elgyem

munna

rotom 

porygon2 and rotom for hacker reasons. i’d imagine he doesn’t really battle that much, so all are nfe

ivy’s team:

revaroom 

unfeasant

herdier

klinklang 

magneton

tinkaton 

revaroom because cars, unfeasant and herdier are common pokemon in unova, klinklang, magneton, and tinkaton all because of her being a mechanic 👍

zack’s team:

snorlax

orthworm 

quagsire 

bidoof

deino 

tepig

all no thoughts, head empty. most are big eaters as well. 

shadowsan’s team

crobat

ninjask 

jolteon 

drapion 

glalie 

kartana 

all were either chosen for speed or for knowing evasion boosting moves- with the exception of kartana, which i chose because i think it would be fun to give all of the vile faculty one ultra beast. additionally, i thought it’d be fun to do the pokemon villain team thing of “giving them a crobat (or other pokemon that evolves via friendship) to show that they’re not all that evil”

chase’s team:

pyroar 

gumshoos

furfrou

talonflame 

absol

gogoat

all but gumshoos are available in kalos bc.. french. gumshoos is a detective, so i thought it’d fit him as well. also i think it’s silly to give him an absol and imagine it loses its shit every time he enters a car

julia’s team:

purrloin 

runerigus

golett

mismagius

gourgeist 

frillish

giving her a near-mono ghost type team wasnt what i thought i’d do, but i actually think it fits with her focus on history. purrloin because i absolutely believe she has a pet cat, runerigus and golett especially to fit in with her interest in history. i also don’t imagine her as being much of a battler.

chief’s team:

liepard

purugly

garchomp

corviknight

greninja

gliscor

went for more intimidating looking pokemon- with the exception of liepard and purugly, which i chose because of her cat. also garchomp always makes me think it’s wearing a suit, which is part of why i gave her one. also all have a sort of blue-purple color scheme going on, which i thought fit with her.

coach brunt’s team:

emboar 

conkeldurr

throh 

sawk

bewear 

buzzwole

wanted to give her a mono fighting type team- all unovan except for bewear and buzzwole. bewear because “mama bear” and hugging :) and buzzwole as her ultra beast because of its massive attack stat

dr. bellum’s team:

reuniclus

beheeyem

tastugiri 

alakazam

archeops

xurkitree 

wanted to give her some absurdly, comically intelligent pokemon, as well as at least one fossil (and archeops is my fav fossil lol). xurkitree as her ultra beast because high special attack + wanted to throw at least one electric type in there.

countess cleo’s team:

gardevoir

hatterenne

gothitelle

florges (white)

lilligant

pheromosa 

me: you better not be serving cunt when i get over there

cleo’s team:

professor maelstrom’s team:

malamar

spiritomb

hypno

sigilyph

starmie 

nihelego

wanted to give him a kind of freaky looking, mind alternating weirdo team. nihilego as is ultra beast for that reason, plus bonus jellyfish points

roundabout’s team:

copperajah

boltund

inteleon 

dragapult

hatterene

dracovish

wanted to give him a fairly standard galar team.. minus dracovish, which i have to imagine there’s a ton of arguments over the morality of owning in the pokemon world. additionally, inteleon because. spy.

crackle’s team:

electivire

luxray

jolteon

rotom

raichu

vikavolt 

electric monotype team! wanted to also give him pokemon that are more.. animalistic? friendly looking? idk how to describe it

tigress’s team:

liepard

delcatty 

incineroar 

meowscarada 

meowstic

pyroar

kitty cat :) i’d imagine her as having specifically female meowstic and pyroar as well.

le chèvre’s team:

gogoat

garchomp

tyranitar

noivern

lycanroc (midnight form)

salazzle

look i know this one isn’t the best fit but there’s only so many goat pokemon, and i wanted to go the rock climbing route instead, but then i realized that salazzle reminded me of his suit so here we are.

el topo’s team:

excadrill

clodsire

swampert

camerupt

dugtrio 

sandslash

excadrill is obvious, and also wanted to give him a mono ground team. also all very friendly cute looking little guys on his team, which i think fits well.

mime bomb’s team:

mr mime

mr rime

zoroark

primarina 

drifblim

ditto

mr mime and rime for obvious reasons, zoroark and ditto because of the disguise, primarina and drifblim because i was trying to think of things at a circus. also because i think he’d probably try to use his drifblim to kidnap kids or some shit.

dash haber’s team:

froslass

leavanny 

gardevoir

alolan ninetales 

vespiquen

milotic

similar to cleo, wanted to give him a slayful team. additionally, all are special attackers (or technically mixed attackers but would be using their special attack i just wanted to try to give him a sa based team lmao)

paper star’s team:

kartana 

hatterene 

mimikyu

banette

froslass 

cacturne

i know i said i’d only give vile faculty ultra beasts but like.. how could i not give her a kartana. the rest are just cute but very fucked up little guys. also she reminds me of a cacturne.

lady dokuso’s team:

venusaur

crobat

arbok

gengar

roserade

toxapex

poison monotype team, obviously

the mechanic’s team:

klinklang

excadrill

coalossal

grapploct

aggron 

revaroom

mostly steel types, but also coalossal because of powering things and grapploct because i just. really wanted to give her one. plus extra galar/british points

the driver’s team:

salamence 

electrode

noivern

weavile

salazzle

cinccino 

focused mainly on speed for her pokemon. also i just think that the idea of her with a cinccino is very cute

neal the eel’s team:

eelektross

ninjask

wugtrio

alolan muk 

sandaconda

dragalge

for neal, i chose eelektross for obvious reasons, and the rest either for speed or evasion boosting moves. also i chose alolan muk over regular muk because i think he’d like the colors

otter man’s team:

gumshoos

lucario

froslass 

weavile

frosmoth 

houndoom 

tbh i made his team a while ago and i don’t remember the thought process for anything beside from i thought he looked like a gumshoos and wanted him to have ice types

moose boy’s team:

hariyama

abomasnow

mamoswine 

beartic

baxcalibur 

galarian darmanitan

all ice types, all big, hard-hitting guys.

spinkick’s team:

hitmonlee

blaziken

scrafty

mienshao

hawlucua 

tsareena

all can learn high jump kick lol. plus mostly fighting types. tsareena was chosen even thought it’s not a fighting type because its entire gimmick is kicking things

flytrap’s team:

volcarona

togekiss 

decidueye 

yanmega

galvantula

greninja

all special attackers! chose galvantula specifically bc it can learn sticky web as well.

the troll’s team:

porygon-z

rotom

metagross 

kadabra 

umbreon

dedenne

porygon-z and rotom for the same reason as player, but i’d imagine he’d be more willing to use the dubious disk. also, for kadabra, i liked the concept of him not being able to trade with anyone to evolve it lol. 

madame goldlove’s team:

gholdengo 

azumarill

steelix 

aegislash

meowstic

kommo-o

all are shiny- i thought it’d be fun to make her a shiny hunter, specifically for these since all of them are gold shinies.

pls lmk what you think of them or if you have any more ideas or suggestions ^_^

hey dude, idk how much you remember from the party last night but- yeah, everyone saw your want. yeah no it was pretty late and winding down so it was quiet enough that every single person there saw it throbbing and twitching in your chest and so wet with hunger it was glistening under the kitchen light. they said it looked like it was reaching for something

Aaaaaand we are more or less done with the setting for my HuaLian Nendos.

The divan turned out a little too big for the 10cm Nendos, but I hope it will fit the 14cm ones once they arrive.

If you guys have suggestions for more miniature things and furniture, feel free to send me a message here or on Twitter. 😊

Spiderverse Hualian, spider people Hua Cheng and Xie Lian having a kind-of-meet-cute.

“Who are you?” Hua Cheng demanded in a low voice.

“I don’t think you want to know.” The other spiderman replied.

“As far as I’m aware, I’m the only one shooting webs around Shanghai. So who the hell are you? Some kind of knock-off?” Hua Cheng grumbled.

The other man laughed, it was the kind of sound that set off bells in Hua Cheng’s brain. Hua Cheng paused at the sound of it, but before he could react, the other spider man sandwiched him between webs and lunged forward.

The man landed skillfully and soundlessly over him. They were inches apart now. Hua Cheng could see the reflection of his own mask in the other man’s concealed eyes. Mechanical whirring was faintly heard as the spiderman’s eyes squinted and widened in rythmn.

“Well, who do you think I am, San Lang?” The man asked, his chest heaving slightly with his breaths. They seemed labored, under pressure and tight at the mere sight of Hua Cheng.

Hua Cheng froze. He grasped Xie Lian’s shoulders.

Grasped was a generous way to put it; that was saying it lightly. No, Hua Cheng he- he practically scrambled to wrap his arms around the man—around Xie Lian. “Gege?” was his only breathless response.

Xie Lian laughed again, muffled behind his mask but it was a sound like no other in Hua Cheng’s ears.

Xie Lian’s hands let go of the webs and he stuck his feet to the wall to support himself. He touched their foreheads together as his hands cupped Hua Cheng’s face.

“San Lang,” His shoulders shook, but his voice wasn’t as happy or light as it was before. “San Lang is right. My name is Xie Lian,” the man said, then he pulled away.

Hua Cheng was tempted to reach out and tuck Xie Lian back to his chest, but he had the self-control to keep himself from moving. He just trembled, wordlessly waiting in anticipation.

Xie Lian pat his shoulder. “I was a college student in a prestigious university, and I had a wonderful boyfriend whom I cherished,” He stared into Hua Cheng’s eyes, as if the mask wasn’t even there. It was piercing in a way Hua Cheng couldn’t describe. “but I was bit by a radioactive spider after an experiment; and I lost my beloved to a villain I’d considered as my own father.”

Xie Lian’s figure was cast in shadow. It was the dawn and sunlight rose, shining behind him. It made his white suit appear a similar shade to Hua Cheng’s dark one. A contrast, but alike.

“Now, I am spiderman from dimension 817-4. Most call me Taizi Dianxia, but my real name,” He placed a hand over Hua Cheng’s chest. “is Xie Lian.”

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Workout For Daily Life

animation of jimmy getting owned in real life

bonus gif of him celebrating i made for funsies :] oh the oblivious bliss...

Shadow hunter HC who tries to summon a major demon to do chaos on earth but accidentally drops a dirty sock on the pentagram so he ends up with XL, a little and peaceful soul collector demon.

Little does HC know, XL is indeed a major demon - he just likes to do lesser demon’s jobs and is considered the laughing stock of hell because of it. 

HC instantly calls summoning XL a mistake, asking how to send XL back ASAP.

(XL: “ok, what happened to hello? How are you?”)

But it’s okay because XL is a chill demon and is used to being ridiculed, so he ends up telling a tiny, white lie: he claims HC can’t send him back until XL fulfills a wish HC wants granted.

Except the problem is, HC can’t seem to think of one genuine wish he wants from XL. And he can only summon the demon he wants after sending XL back.

So, they’re stuck together for a bit.

Much to HC’s surprise, XL doesn’t use his powers much. Why in the world does XL want to learn how to cook without using magic as a shortcut? And clean? Do laundry? Who has the time for that?

HC refuses to bring XL on his side missions but after one goes horribly wrong in the blink of an eye, XL ends up showing up at the last second to help because HC wasn’t back in time for dinner.

XL insists on tagging along on missions after that.

HC is a much-wanted shadow hunter, therefore rogue demons often try to attack him. Possess him? Harm him. But of course, XL isn’t going to let that happen, not when the company - even if it’s forced - has been really nice.

Something makes him want to protect the shadow hunter. XL, who has always been told his soft spot for non-demons would be his downfall, does everything in his power to help HC. 

And HC begins to notice.

HC grows used to XL’s presence. Despite XL’s title labeling him as a low rank bottom-feeding demon, HC realizes XL happens to know much more than he lets on. He also seems to know all of the shadow hunter’s weak spots but fortunately hasn’t used them against HC or his fellow shadow hunters thus far.

Before he knows it, one month has passed, and he looks forward to seeing a smol demon flit around his kitchen, chopping vegetables up and adding them to a bubbling concoction on the stove. Or the surplus of plants that have made their way into HC’s living room, soaking up sunlight and adding a nice change of scenery to the space.

XL has also gotten hooked on a variety of dramas that HC himself was never interested in. Now, HC can’t help but watch over XL’s shoulder, and eventually sit down next to the demon to squeeze in a quick episode before bed.

Except that sense of peace is soon shattered when HC is reminded of the chaos he desperately wanted to. The other powerful demon, Bai Wuxiang, had visited HC’s dreams, offering a once-in-a-lifetime deal in exchange for his powers. 

(“Or has the vicious Crimson Rain gotten too soft?” BWX taunts, circling around HC in the dream. “Perhaps you never intended on executing your plan in the first place?”)

HC realizes he has been distracted from his initial goal, and the familiar emotions of anger and frustration with the world he’s a part of arise once more. Ignoring his conflicting turmoil, HC seethes at how dare XL sidetrack him from his carefully crafted plan to disrupt the corrupt bureaucracy of the higher ups that choose to neglect the humans they should be servicing. 

It’s all XL’s fault for making HC feel so content by just being in his life.

HC must quickly deal with this.

And so, the next morning, when XL is shuffling around the kitchen making breakfast, humming to himself, HC slowly walks in with a grim face.

“Oh, wonderful, you’re up! I made some simple congee for you,” XL says, stirring the pot. 

HC curls his right hand into a fist.

“…”

“I remembered your instructions to let it simmer for an hour longer than I’m used to, so the consistency has definitely improved-“

“Xie Lian.”

XL pauses his movements. He doesn’t fully turn to see HC’s expression, but somehow seems to know HC has something serious he would like to say. 

“You haven’t called me by my name in a long time,” XL says with a light chuckle. See, to prevent others from realizing HC has summoned an ancient demon by openly throwing around Xie Lian’s name, both decided it would be easier if HC called XL by a nickname - and Gege has sufficed. 

HC rounds the counter to stand a few paces away from the demon. He angles his chin down, looking down at XL with a stone cold exterior. He’s bracing himself in preparation for what’s to come.

“I’ve figured out my wish,” HC reveals quietly. XL stares straight ahead, refusing to meet HC’s eye. 

XL does, however, smile. 

It’s a small and sad smile - a knowing one. He fiddles with the dial before turning off the stove.

“You haven’t. You only think you have,” XL responds in a delicate voice.

HC inhales sharply. He takes another step towards the demon, the demon who he knew would be difficult. It’s so clear now, having shared a space with XL for a few months now. 

HC can’t even fathom how he thought XL was as useless and weak as he once concluded. 

HC shakes his head.

“You’re wrong. This is what I want.”

I want you to leave, remains unspoken.

I want you to leave and unbind yourself from me, something you’ve always been capable of from the moment I summoned you.

You are no ordinary demon. You are one of the most powerful and destructive demons who is mentioned in earliest shadow hunter records of demon kind. 

But you cannot give me what I desire. You will not, more so, as those days of violence and bloodshed are far behind you, and I refuse to keep you around to witness my heinous intentions come to fruition. 

I refuse to taint the simplicity of life you’ve chosen for yourself.

“Hua Cheng, I-“

“Leave, Xie Lian. Leave this place and never come back.”

The two are silent for a long moment. It feels like eons have passed in what was just a few seconds, but the damage has been done. 

XL nods once, then steps away from HC.

“Very well. I do not intend to overstay my welcome.”

XL raises his right hand, his thumb and middle finger touching. 

“Goodbye, Hua Cheng.”

With the snap of his fingers, XL dissipates into thin air. 

*** Prompt by @no-one-says-hi

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Have they made fanart of this yet?

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