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Hotwife Lifestyle - Understanding Our Man’s Hotwife Fantasy and How to Use That to Our Advantage

The fantasy of having a “Hotwife” is growing, in fact, research shows it is growing at a higher rate than a good majority of the other lifestyle alternatives, including the old staple of “swinging” and the modern “open relationship”. Why is it that a fantasy that revolves around only one part of a relationship – the woman – going out and finding pleasure from another man more intriguing to an increasing number of men than going out and “getting some” for himself?

Basic psychology tells us that men are highly competitive creatures. They have a drive to compete with other males of the species for the best mate – this isn’t so much different than what happens in the animal kingdom. Most men have an innate drive to compete with other men when it comes to the “best mate” or the “most attractive woman”. With this being said, one of the reservations of most women who find out about their husband or partner’s Hotwife fantasy is that he is somehow “weaker” than the rest because he wants to give up his position as your only partner. Is this really true, though? Could the truth lie somewhere within today’s man’s loss of natural competition in everyday life, and a desire to maintain a level of competition after marriage or “monogamy”? Is this weakness, or rather the ultimate confidence?

Cuckholding aside, because this aspect of the fantasy requires a bit more in terms of a “woman led” relationship, and a bit more from the man in terms of a desire for mental sadomasochism, a good majority of men enjoy the idea that they have been able to “capture” the best mate and even when she’s out having amazing physical and emotional experiences with men who may have qualities that actually supersede their own – a better body, a larger cock, youth, more prowess in bed – their woman actually WANTS to come back to them at the end of the night. While most Hotwife-Husbands do get some level of turn-on from the jealousy and the possibility that their Hotwife may actually be enjoying their dates more than they enjoy being “at home”, the overwhelming desire is the competition and the “win” in terms of having a wife who chooses them again and again even after being allowed to go out and have other men.

As Hotwives, we may be the focus of the fantasy, but there is that deeper and more psychological desire of a man who, even after committing to one woman, is able to compete with other males sexually. This is why the desire for “reclaiming” a Hotwife after a date is so strong – it’s actually been scientifically proven that men who are able to reclaim a partner after she has been with someone else have an increase in testosterone levels, which means stronger desire, more powerful erections, longer lasting erections, and an overall stronger sex drive. So, what does this mean for us as Hotwives?

He Enjoys the Jealousy, Go with It

As women we’ve learned that inducing some jealousy can actually be a good thing when it comes to dating – before we’ve found our “person”. We use our female prowess to keep the men who we are seeing guessing…why? Because they seem more interested in us when it seems as though we may not be 100% there. So, if this works in the dating world, why wouldn’t it work once we’re married? In contrast, women typically don’t respond as well, or in the same way to jealousy – we tend to worry, question, and sometimes shut down if we feel that he might be “just not that into us”. Naturally, because of our own feelings on the matter, we tend to avoid making our men jealous once we’ve committed to them, because we, ourselves don’t want to feel as though we’re in constant competition with other, more attractive, sexier, younger, etc., women. Why would we do something to the man that we love that we, ourselves, would hate?

For men, though, and especially those with Hotwife fantasies, jealousy is a big component and tool for us to keep our men hot and bothered. Sometimes just the mere mention of being flirted with by that cute guy at our favorite restaurant, or our interest in the sexy personal trainer at the gym is enough to send our men into a sexual frenzy. It doesn’t take a lot to feed the fantasy. It’s not ALL about dates and recounting how well we got worked over in the bedroom (and how much we loved it), though that is the ultimate turn on for our men, it’s also about the little things – the mention of our interest in someone else, the sexy messages that we send to potential lovers or Bulls, the “tease” of how much we loved what our last Bull did for us and how much we’re looking forward to doing it again. Remember, this ignites the “competition” element of things, which is natural for men.

The More You Enjoy it, the More He Enjoys it

You may be thinking, “But I’m doing it for him, I’m not doing it for myself” (a common theme by A LOT of Hotwives), but in reality, our men WANT us to enjoy our encounters. They want to hear about what this “other guy” did for or to is that sent us over the edge, and yes, they want to hear what we liked better about the “other guy”. I know it seems crazy, because we don’t want to imagine our men, even if we did allow them to be with other women, thinking that their “others” were better, sexier, hotter or had something that we don’t. That’s because we don’t have that “competition drive” like our men do.

Let’s face it, despite what our men tell us – “It’s all about your pleasure” or “I don’t get anything out of it unless you’re enjoying it, because I love you so much” – this isn’t some ultimate “unselfish” thing our men are doing for us. These things come out of their mouths, but what they are really saying is “I want to know that you came three times while he was fucking you, and you STILL want to come home to me”. It’s their kink, and we have to understand it.

So, if you’ve actually taken the step into the world of Hotwifing, you’re going to have to learn how to properly tease your man into believing that, just maybe, your Bull was better than him in some ways. Whenever you think “But I’m only doing it for him”, follow that us with “I’m doing it for him and he WANTS to know that I absolutely enjoyed it”. Find some aspect of your encounter that was mind-blowing, and recount, in great detail exactly what it was that sent you over the edge. This may require a little bit of embellishment, and that’s OKAY…trust me…embellishment is your friend in this situation. Tell your man about your Bull’s amazing cock, how good if felt, how good he tasted, how fantastic he was at oral sex, etc. These are the things that will ramp up that competition streak in your man and make him want to reclaim you with increased vigor and desire.

The More You Want Someone Else, The More Your Man Wants You

Again, you’re playing on the competition and the teasing aspect of things here… The more that you act as if you WANT to be a Hotwife, the more that your husband or partner is going to WANT you. His desire for you is going to skyrocket, his sexual desire for you is going to make it so that he’s ready to chew his own leg off to get you back in bed. I have experienced this firsthand many times…if I am completely honest about an “encounter” and admit to “D” that my Bull was lacking in some way, or I didn’t quite “get there”, he isn’t nearly as turned on as when I tell him about how amazing things were. I don’t like or believe in lying, but I do advocate for being selective and stretching the truth…maybe your lover wasn’t the best at giving oral sex, but maybe he was an amazing kisser, so a good answer would be “he was amazing with his mouth” and leave the rest up for interpretation.

We’re women. We are strong and capable and we are smart. And the truth is, this is a GAME we are playing for and with our husbands/partners, so we need to get our heads into the game. Furthermore, this is an intellectual game, and we need to use our intellects to get to where we want to be. Where do we want to be? We want to have a husband/partner who is absolutely drooling over us, believes we are the ultimate sexual goddess, and in is jealous enough to realize that in order to “compete” they will need to step up their own game in order to “keep” us satisfied – be that with amazing sex, extra romance, other rewards, or all of the above.

Happy Hotwifing!

-S

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hothifenhubby

2 years ago

Wow

8 Things you need to know about swinging in India

Cheating has been given the new dimension of being acceptable if it is with consent. The culture of swapping wives for pleasure has taken the country, much against it’s belief of marriage being sacred and physical intimacy to take place between married couples only. No matter what your beliefs on the subject, wife swapping has been prevalent in the conventional country of India, and much to one’s surprise, it is even gaining popularity. And no, it is not just the game of rich and elite – people from all walks of life are participating in wife swapping – between known couples and unknown willing strangers.

Is swinging spicing up love and passion between couples, married or otherwise? Well, the answer is a big yes. Swinging is that little dirty secret that is coming out of the closet in India with couples exploring options to spice up their sex life. And the real reason for swinging has been beautifully summed up here. In Europe, swingers are ushering a sexual revolution and couples are looking for exciting avenues to derive heightened sexual pleasures, while in the ‘Land of the Kamasutra’, the ‘new’ trend is being accepted with open arms, practised openly.

What is ‘wife swapping’?

Wife swapping, or swinging, is the exchange of wives between two couples, consensually, to engage in sexual pleasures. Some people like to swap between known couples, while some prefer swinging with complete strangers.

The later is the more preferred way, since the former is believed to burden the parties involved with feelings like guilt. Though the concept of exchanging wives for sexual pleasures was unfathomable till a few years ago, the Indian community is warming up to the idea. Swinging, as it is commonly referred to, appeals to couples who try to break away from a monotonous married life and are looking outside the marriage for fulfilling their sexual desires and fantasies without any guilt trips. Both partners in the matrimony are expected to know about what is happening, and accept each other as if nothing as happened.

How common is it to swap wives in India?

Thanks to the Internet and smartphones, what was first talked about in hushed tones now find its way via evocative texts, pictures and lot more. A few decades ago, wife swapping was like a secret underground trend. Not anymore. Swinging is a trend of cheating but with consent. Indian couples are warming up to this idea of enjoying sexual escapades guilt-free. In India, though hushed, wife swapping is a common affair. And if you thought the swinging culture is only a high-end metro city affair, you are wrong. Wife swapping has its roots in small towns, within the low socio-economic groups too.

Sex is a sin no more

The new-age couple is all pepped up, open, liberal and most importantly globetrotters. For them, having sex with just one partner sounds like a no-fun proposal. The new matrimonial bliss formula these days is to build open relationships, allowing complete freedom and transparency. Wife swapping earlier meant inviting ‘raised eyebrow’ but now it’s a considered to be a sign of a modern mind-set. People willingly engage themselves in such parties that encourage sleeping with wives of other men and enjoy the experience.

Not to forget that this arrangement does not always have a happy ending – sometimes partners develop intense, intimate feelings for their swing partners and sometimes they are unable to cope with their guilt or the thought of their partner being with someone else. Obviously, it is always too late to act on such situations.

How can you meet couples who are ready for swinging?

Have you got an invitation for a party in a private house, farmhouse, elite club or a mini vacation to an exotic location? If you have and are in a mood to swing, then don’t ignore such invitations. A whole new world of adventure under the sheets is waiting to be explored. So how do you get invited to such parties? You need to get started online, as there are many websites where you can register and get started.

Here is how swinging works

Selected couples get invited to such parties

You get enrolled into a group or club with a membership fee

A background check is done before giving the approval

Special lunches for husbands are hosted to lay down the rules of the games

Wives have a separate gathering where they are initiated into this game

The party venue is disclosed two days before the event

Related reading: This is the reason why couples are getting into swinging for sex

How do wife swapping parties work?

The swinging parties are governed by some rules. You are not allowed to carry cell phones and cameras and a background check is done. This is to ensure confidentiality. A health checkup is always done to avoid the risk of HIV and STDs. Most swinging party organisers meet the husbands and wives separately to explain the rules. During the party, men either pick up the heels of the women who are there, or women pick up car keys. Accordingly, the owner of the heels is swapped with the wife of the man for a whole night of casual, sexual fun.

Wife swapping id not illegal in India: Believe it or not, wife swapping is not termed as illegal in India. Our laws do not validate it as illegal, as this act is performed with mutual consent between all parties involved

Beware, swinging is addictive too: In India, talking about sex is still considered taboo. When couples finally get to live up to their desires and fantasies via swinging, they get addicted to it. All of a sudden, sexual desires repressed over the years get an outlet that offers much needed respite. But sometimes it can be addictive in nature and can take a toll on a couple’s marriage and children

There are swinger clubs in metros and cities: For the uninitiated, there are swingers clubs spread across the country. The trick is to find them and connect with them. Try searching for them online to get some leads. Or reach out to someone you know who has been a part of these swinging clubs. This can be the starting point

All sex and not love: Don’t look for romance with swingers. It is a pure sexual relationship where partners keep all other emotions aside. No attachment, it’s all about sex so don’t feel guilty for committing a sin. Emotional attachment can ruin your married life

Swinging in India thrived before the Internet came: Yes, back then when there were no computers or the Internet, couples did swing. Some trace this trend way back to the 1970s, where couples explored swinging a few months into their marriage

Married for fun: You can stay married and now walk apart due to sexual incompatibility. Swinging allows couples to stay ‘happily’ married for real. In fact, couples get a chance to revive their relationship from being dull and boring to refreshing. The boredom gives way to excitement

Get tested before the game: With AIDS and HIV on the rise, swinging clubs ensure that every member undergoes a medical test to ensure that no one is infected. This is to safeguard health concerns of all the members and avoid threat of STDs and other highly communicable infections

Know the fake from real: There are many fake couple profiles on swinging websites. Before you fall into the trap, cross check the credentials before extending a swinging night out. Try meeting out in person and only then go ahead

Related reading: 7 things to remember before starting the swapping lifestyle

Why do some people enjoy wife swapping?

It may sound strange that people enjoy their spouses having sex with other people outside the marriage, but it is true. The reasons why wife swapping is accepted as a lifestyle have been summed below:

It gives men and women a chance to have a liberated and open sex life, where they feel that love and sex are different. Since they are clear why they are swapping partners, there are no resentments

To satisfy their sexual desires outside the marriage

Some men and women are turned on when they watch their significant other having sex with a third person. They feel aroused and hot with desire and satisfaction. This can be one major reason to participate in wife swapping culture

Some couples believe that swinging will get the spark back in their sex lives

Adult swinging gives partners a chance to cheat without feeling guilty, since both the partners are on the same page

Either one partner or both the partners are polyamorous

Implications of wife swapping for fun

Swinging has taken the urban India by storm, and in a country that believes in the sanctity of the institution of marriage and swears chastity, it also comes as a surprise. However. for some this casual fun becomes an addiction and they expose themselves to many vulnerabilities – both mental and physical. These episodes can have serious implications on a couple’s marriage and affect the family, most likely the children. Sometimes, swapping results in emotional connections that involve a lot of pain and hurt. To have a successful relationship while swinging requires a great stability in the relationship and great amounts of trust.

Swinging works only if a couple is very stable in their relationship and have very liberated minds. It may not be easy for an average person to see their partner getting all aroused and climaxed by someone else, more so if he or she has not been able to do so. Couples who are instable and unsure of their relationship should not try swinging as it will likely ruin the marriage.

Sexual infidelity is no stranger to a marriage, whether you like it or you do not. While many couples have their names on every wife swapping party today, some withdraw after an episode or two.

To swing or not to swing

If having sex with one person all your life is dull or boring, and definitely not your cup of tea, then swinging is for you. It offers a venue to explore intimacy, passion and desires on a different level altogether. Instead of cheating clandestinely, swinging offers a platform to be partners in a crime that only offers sexual bliss. Some might argue this is not in our culture, but what’s the harm in having some fun?

Swinging is here to stay. Like it, hate it or love it – take it in your stride. For those who are happy with their partner, let porn be their source of excitement.

Else swing it baby, shake that booty now.

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hothifenhubby

2 years ago

Indeed.... its been time.