Happy April Fools 2024

I have this picture of sasuke on my phone that chase and I call “safe for work sasuke” and it’s because it’s the tallest picture in my camera roll so whenever he sends me any nsfw stuff when I’m in public I just send sfw sasuke and he takes up the whole screen

Floaties Masterpost

Ok look, I fucking loved the floaties that were being used in the community, but often found myself squinting at how tiny, and often times hard to read they were (for me at least).  So, seeing as I’m a grumpy old dude, and my eyes are easily strained, I started making my own. Bigass, and much easier to read! Also, nice and consistent! Which I guess is a bit of a pet peeve of mine. This is the Masterpost for all the Floaties I’ve made! Examples:

Full collection (700+ in seperate categories on seperate posts to keep tumblr from dying) in the read more section. Free to use as long as you give credit and don’t edit. Made by me -> @shintari​ / @ambivalence-and-torpor​

Can’t find what you Want? Want custom floaties like these? Check out my Floatie Commissions

Keep reading

perfect normal nuclear family

update: this is on INPRNT now. you could have this beautiful family in your house

you know that furry spectrum meme. there's an evil version of it.

found a twitter tweet that was like "oh yeah content warning hatoful boyfriend has a lot of gore and violence" and every single person in the notes/retweets/qrts/whatever the fuck terms twitter has was going "WHAT THE FUCK IT HAS WHAT" and i find that hilarious because. large amounts of gore and violence is a tremendous understatement about the amount of stuff that goes down in hatoful boyfriend

WHAT IS THE FUCKING POINT

Can U blast this https://urbanshade.org/wiki/Documents/Sebastian_Solace pls

String identified: caTatcaaaaaataactGTtttatcagcatcttcagtctaaaattattatcttataCAagtataaaCCTaatccatttatacattcctaccatccttttattagtCAcatacatagataatatttgtccataAtggtctatattccagagtattGaaacggcaaccaactaaatatctatccagatctagacggttaCACCTcattagttacgtatacttatatctaacattatctgaaggtgatgctaaaattagaattaagaatAtgctactttatcgattgaagtaaatagtctaatctatctccaacaaaacttaaacacaaaacttatattgaggAtaaaaaaagattaatatagaaaattttataaccagatattatattaacttctTctctatttctatgcacatatGagattactTtagttatattattcactttatcattattaaaccaacttcaattcacataAtttgtattgaagtattatacattactatattaaaccatatactaagtctatttattacttattcaagacacaAtttaggttatagaatttttatagaaacagtgtttgctaacctcatagaaaatcctaccaatatactaaattctttaatctaaatattagtttggg

Closest match: Balaenoptera musculus genome assembly, ██████ ████████ genome assembly, Microcephalophis gracilis genome assembly, Carcharodon carcharias genome assembly, Bufoceratias wedli mutated genome assembly, Diretmus argenteus genome assembly, Gonodactylus smithii genome assembly, Homo sapiens genome assembly Common name: THAT FUCKING FISH THAT I HATE

(If this image source is shown to unauthorized personnel, you'll be BLASTed with my wizard beams)

Oath of the Courier

A paladin subclass for 5e

Liberty. Reason. Justice. Civility. Edification. Perfection.

MAIL.

Tenets of the Courier

The Tenets of the Courier embody a paladin's commitment to delivering the mail with utmost integrity and professionalism.

Handle with Care: Treat anything entrusted to you as preciously as you would your own possessions.

Discrete Delivery: When others confide in you, do not betray their trust. Let none but the intended recipient pry upon what you carry.

Swift Postage: Do your best to fulfill your promises as promptly as possible. Punctuality is a virtue.

To the Letter: Strive to fulfill your oaths exactly as you pledged them. Your word is your promise.

Oath Spells

You gain oath spells at the paladin levels listed.

3rd Level: Expeditious Retreat, Illusory Script 5th Level: Animal Messenger, Arcane Lock 9th Level: Sending, Tongues 13th Level: Legally Distinct Secret Chest, Freedom of Movement 17th Level: Dream, Teleportation Circle

Channel Divinity

When you choose this Oath at 3rd-level, you gain the following two Channel Divinity options:

Postage Stamp: As an action, you mark an object with a magical postage stamp. When creating this stamp, you choose a creature you or an adjacent ally are familiar with to be the object's recipient. This stamp persists for a number of hours equal to twice your paladin level, until the stamped object is delivered to its chosen recipient, or it is dismissed as a bonus action. While holding the stamped object, you can spend an action to magically detect what direction its recipient is in, and approximately how far away they are from you. If the recipient does not want to be located by you, it can make a Wisdom Saving Throw to elude this detection. If you are relying on an ally's familiarity, they get Advantage on this save. If they succeed, they are immune to this effect for 24 hours. You may only have one magical stamp at a time. If you place another, the previous one is immediately dismissed.

This Side Up: As an action, you can use your Channel Divinity to ward a creature or object against toppling. One creature or object within 10 feet becomes immune to the Prone condition. If the target is an object, it must be light enough for you to carry. If the target is an object, it gains Resistance to bludgeoning, force, and thunder damage. If the warded creature or object falls, it may ignore the first 10' of the fall when determining fall damage. These effects last for a number of minutes equal to your Charisma score, minimum 3.

Aura of Determination

Neither rain nor sleet nor hail will stop your delivery of the mail. Starting at 7th level, you emit an Aura of Determination. You and allies within 10' cannot have their speed reduced to less than their base speed when walking, crawling, jumping, or flying. This includes anything that would halve movement, such as Difficult Terrain or Exhaustion; or impose any other fraction-based penalty to speed. You cannot grant any of these effects while you are unconscious.

At 18th level, the range of this aura increases to 30 feet.

Return to Sender

Starting at 15th level, if you are targeted by a spell that targets only you, you may use your Reaction to instead have the spell target its caster. Use the original caster's Spell Save DC, Spell Attack Bonus, and Spellcasting Ability where applicable. If the spell required a Spell Attack Roll, re-roll the attack versus the caster. Once you use this ability, you must finish a short or long rest before you can use it again.

Pen Pal

At 20th level, you can assume the form of a celestial courier. Using your action, you undergo a transformation that grants you the following benefits for 1 hour:

Wings sprout from your back and grant you a flying speed of 60 feet.

Allies who begin their turn within 30' of you gain a 10' bonus to their speed that turn.

Add your Charisma bonus to your Initiative Rolls.

Once you use this feature, you can't use it again until you finish a long rest.

Go forth, swift and trustworthy courier! You are the glue that holds society together!

love dungeon meshi senshi's character design bc when he has the helmet on he looks like a fucking pokemon

and then he takes the helmet off and hes just a guy with a face and forehead and everything

edit:

to me he looks like this

"Kiddo, you can has cheeseburger"

Everyone always questioned the young boy who only made modest requests to the gods, but he was the only one whose prayers were answered. It turns out that gods are a lot less powerful than we thought, and were not answering because we were too unreasonable in our prayers.