I Dropped Everything At Work Just So I Could Make This

i saw some comments on tiktok where people were talking bout how they found tumblr too hard to use and part of it being that there was no lack of dates so “what if you reblog or like something from five years ago?!” 

buddy… we have posts circulating still from 2011, its literally just how it is

ME, i literally couldnt tell a girl her eyes were pretty bc my brain just went to mush

how do you flirt with a girl

how do you talk to girls

i am the worst at this LMAO this is why im still single my brain goes to mush when women talk to me

“Thank you! I don’t know why people struggle with this.”

TRIXIE AND KATYA React to Resident Evil

Elephant in the room time! I’d like to give a summary for everyone here.

I think we have all been waiting for someone to dig up something about Tim Walz, and what they found is a DUI from 1995.

Tim Walz was still a teacher at the time. He was with his friends, watching college football. He chose to drive home, and was pulled over for going 96mph in a 55. He was charged and fined.

Directly afterwards, he tried to resign from his teaching job out of guilt for his actions. He felt terrible, he felt disappointed in himself, and thought he didn’t have the right to teach or be a coach because of it. The principal pushed back immediately, asking him to stay. The principal refused to let him resign.

11 years later he became a member of Congress. 30 years later, he still hasn’t touched alcohol.

His drink of choice is Diet Mountain Dew.

Trump supporters are seemingly oblivious to the hypocrisy of their criticism of Walz. It has been 30 years since Walz was charged with his only misdemeanor. In May of this year, Trump was charged with 34 felonies.

i wouldn't let a vampire snack on my blood for safety reasons, UNLESS they were a very beautiful woman then she can do as she pleases

Vampires when they sip on your blood and catch extra strength Tylenol, at least two psychiatric meds, two cups of coffee, weed, and microplastics 

if they kill fez there is no promise I'll keep watching

All I know is…if the kill Fezco off ima be PISSED. Especially after they gaslit us into becoming Fexi stans.

Sapphic Cowgirls

this might be one of my absolute favorite post in the history of tumblr.

God I fucking hate Olaf the snowman so fucking much holy shit. Holy shit, every frame he's in, every scene, every gif, every jpeg, he's got this painfully vacant, stupid as shit, fuckass look on his stupid lumpy face. Absolutely no part of his ugly as sin piece of shit character design is endearing. His stupid fucking legs? Who the hell makes a snowman with legs. His dumb flaily fucking twig arms? His shitty, lumpy bastard head? The three thousand percent unnecessary dumbass shitass fucking SNOW BUCK TOOTH that no snowman has EVER FUCKING HAD IN tHE HISTORY OF GOD'S GREEN FUCKING EARTH? God, I hate him. I hate him so much. So FUCKING much. Every time I see a stuffed toy Olaf or an Olaf gif or a shitty goddamn commercial, it ignites my primal rage response and I'm overcome by the need to punt this shitty little homunculus into the fucking sun. "Bhurr blur, I'm Olaf the fuckshit snow fucker, I like warm hugs". Fuck you. Fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you. You look like Tow Mater summoned a patronus. Your dumb fucking twig hair makes your whole shitty head look like a hairy skin tag. I hate your dumb fucking lumpy carrot nose and your stupid, empty googly eyes and your over-the-top goofy ass upbeat asshole personality. Any scene he's sad it invokes all the wrath and fury of a spoiled child having a meltdown over a chocolate bar in a w*lmart checkout line. And I know its irrational. That's the worst part. I know he's just a shitty fucking side character in a stupid fucking children's movie, I know it doesn't matter, I know I shouldn't care. But that's part of the problem. The part where no matter the might and fury of my hatred, the locus of my homicidal intent is alltogether inconsequential. I find myself laying awake in the dark in the early hours of the morning consumed by the spirit of Wrath itself, all the force and might of a flaming hurricane directed at a bottle of piss in a ditch by the highway. The absurdity of it all burns me to my core. What better things could this energy be directed towards? And yet my disdain for this stupid, useless, insubstantial failure of endearing character design utterly eclipses the intrigue of all other pursuits. I hate him. I hate him on a level of my mind reserved for the worst of the world's array of sinners, and I can't even begin to justify it. Shitstick the snow dick is, for all intents and purposes, the animated corpse of all of humanity's saccharine pretenses- every condescending, passive-aggressive statement of meaningless upper middle class suburban drama distilled into a single, hateable form. The fucking. Fuck. I have no words. There is no cuss or epithet in any language that can encapsulate the height of the emotions I am experiencing. God, I hate him so much. I hate him so, so fucking much. I want to light his ugly little dumpster body on fire. I want to graphically beat him to death with his own stupid fucking nose. I want to punch him to death. You know that weird feeling you get, when you see a picture of something so cute you find yourself overcome with the bizarre, inexplicable urge to squeeze it? It's EXACTLY like that, except instead of cuteness it's disgust. The wordless knowledge that his existence as a fictional work is evidence of all the failures of mankind. I find myself possessed by the will of a Holy Angel gone rogue with the belief that God has made a mistake, and I alone must correct it. This is the trial by which Samael himself fell from grace. This wild, meaningless rage. A thousand blades of shining steel cast with inhuman force in the direction of a plastic grocery bag floating on a breeze. What horrors must I have committed in a past life to be plagued by this torment now? I must Unmake this fictional snowman

ⓘ  Reblog if you’re bisexual, gay, lesbian, asexual, pansexual, transgender or a supporter.