itsalwayslag

Latest Posts by itsalwayslag

that look The Nuancer gives you when a generalization walks in

sisyphus doesn’t need everyone imagining him happy. imagine me. what about me?

person who goes back in time to try and prevent lincoln’s assassination but they get so enraptured by the play that he’s watching that they forget and he gets shot anyways

This is immensely funny to me

Rise and grind? You misheard me. Fall and remain unmoving.

getting unzipped has to feel so good for the compressed file

this is hands down my favourite philomena cunk moment

The english language is so confusing that sometimes I'm tempted to go to the french side of the internet, settle down over there, and every time someone starts telling me shit about how bad my french is, I can let them know that the only reason I'm not fluent in french like I'm fluent in english is because the english won the colonialism. I would be a fluent francophone if it weren't for the french being the second best in their own game.

A concerning new study released Monday by the Federal Bureau of Prisons found that the nation’s poverty is growing faster than officials can build prisons. “The data shows that the number of people becoming destitute is currently outstripping our ability to set up new correctional facilities to imprison them,” said agency director Colette Peters, adding that unnecessary red tape, stringent regulations, and irksome health and safety standards are preventing the government from building more cells at the 11.5% growth rate necessary to match the rising number of people who need all their rights taken away.

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heist film but instead of a bank vault or casino, it's a group of moms & grandmas (outraged over grocery prices) holding a Costco's hostage while they steal all the food

Orange Haze gang wya

I don’t remember much from middle school. Mainly just the Green haze.

the student said, "i'm reading a zen buddhist cookbook. with no recipes." and the teacher replied, "ah, dogen's instructions for the cook, written in 1237?" "yeah," said the student, "it's saying not to let rats fall into the rice pot"

Every protein bar is called something like "double chocolate indulgence caramel cookie dough delight crunch" and tastes like clay and sawdust

is anyone else also doing ultimately fine + dying of stress + it’s not that bad + if i don’t wake up tomorrow hotter and better at every hobby its fucking over for me

I think covid pulled some kinda psychic ripcord for anyone already primed for political derangement. The combinaton of social isolation and algorithm-driven radicalization just broke people. Everyone I talk to has a story of some relative that nobody talks to anymore.

this goes hard af

Please remember that almost everyone around you is traumatized. I didn’t understand this when I was younger. I wondered why people acted so strangely and irrationally. Maybe all children wonder this. The author Robert Anton Wilson said (paraphrasing), “We have never seen a completely sane adult human.” No one makes it out of this life alive. It’s not their fault. Mercy, kindness, forgiving — these are what makes one human. They are other names for love. People break in the strangest of ways.

Just overheard some guy ask the teacher what 'respectively' means.

He'll be able to vote in elections in around a year btw

if you need a pat on the head right now I got u covered

*pat pat*

reblog & tag how old you were in 2006

lately ive been bedridden with a terrible case of i dont wanna

US federal forms after that one executive order

this is my favourite thing ever

I wonder if people could selectively breed wild birds by giving the males with the most desired characteristics the The Most Fuckable Leg Band. Year after year you mark the males that have the most features that you want these birds to have, and the bright shiny leg ring makes the females want these specific males, passing on more and more of the desired traits.