itskimmiecka

Latest Posts by itskimmiecka

I've read the books too many times now, so I thought I was ready for everything on this show, but boy was I wrooooong!

This right here, this! I was not ready for this and it slapped me like a little bitch! It hurts!

All of it.

I am ready to fight to protect these two at all costs.

SHADOW AND BONE (2021-) | “The Heart is an Arrow” (1x06)

“Oh, I see. I’m the wicked Grisha seductress. I beguile poor, innocent men with my Grisha wiles.

Yes! The line "You could have made me your equal" is stuck on replay on my mind. It hurts so much!

And he’s STILL trying to convince her, despite himself. And Alina’s dropping truth bombs he needs to hear & you can see her ‘we almost could’ve had this’ REALLY hurts him. Hurts both of them (me too, let’s be real).

It’s gonna end in tears, but he’s still weak to her in a way he probably both hates and longs for. How long has it been since his conscience plagued him? Since he had trouble justifying his actions? He hates to admit it and hides behind THAT line (oh my gosh they actually put it in) but he can’t ignore Alina Starkov because she makes him feel again, makes him remember and question his similarity to the people he despises, despite everything.

This painful interaction is just. PERFECT. So much depth!! Layers!!!

He ran to her! HE RAN TO HER! I CANNOT HANDLE MEN WHO RUN TO THEIR LADY TO KISS THEM! YOU DON'T DO THAT TO ME!!!!!!

Alina Starkov & The Darkling Show Me Who You Are | Shadow and Bone

AAHHHHHHHHHHH

iNveSt.

My mind just went: AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

#boy you’ve slipped

Let's do an experiment ✨✨✨

LIKE if you support sending hate to actors for their role or have done it before

REBLOG if you think sending hate to actors based on their role if terrible and shouldn't be done

HIMYM is my ultimate comfort series, so I know the episode that this came from by heaaaart as it is one of my favorite episode. Thank you so much for the inspiration ❤️ In this AU, Baghra did not warn Alina of the darkling, she just lets him do whatever, then here as well Mal moved into the Little Palace as part of the amplifier tracking team then reconciled with Alina and they became a couple. The Darkling’s plan involves having the amplifiers complete before he has his true intentions known. So they have been living in Os Alta for a few years from the first book, Shadow and Bone. Enjoy! :) 

Disclaimer: Some quite graphic scenes here, and a bit Mature as well. Very very angsty.

"Does this mean anything to you?" She asked.

"Yes. Of course, it did." The Darkling answered.

A solemn look passed on to her face.

"Alina. Talk to me."

"Mal." He did not know that the blow would hurt like that. "He is the kindest and nicest person. I can't believe I just did this to him. I am a horrible person”

“Alina.” He did not know what to say. It was true. It was indeed a bit horrible that they did that. Everything passed by quickly last night. At first, they were just talking, as they took a break from finalizing their performance, then the next they were in his room, blazing with fire, urgently all over each other, then one thing led to another, ending up with them waking up next to each other naked under the sheets.  

“I’m sorry.” That was all he can say for now. He did not know if he really meant it.  

She stood up, wrapping the sheets around her body as she picked up her clothes on the floor.  

“This never happened. We are not talking about this.” said Alina.

“Are you going to tell Mal?”  

“I...” she hesitated, then looked worriedly at him. “I... don’t know. I should, shouldn’t I?”

Aleksander sat up, leaning his back on the headboard of the bed. “Why are you asking me?” he asked, raising an eyebrow at her.

Alina made a frustrated noise, then proceeded with putting on her clothes.  

“Please, it’s not like I am the only who took pleasure in this, Alina.”

She stopped midway on clasping her blue kefta, then looked at him furiously. “This is a mistake. This should never happen again.”  

“Should?”

“Aleksander.”  

He raised both of his palms up as a form of surrender, but his lips quirked a grin upon hearing his name uttered by her. He remembered telling it to her last night on the heat of the moment.

“This. Never happened. We will perform at the fete like this never happened, then I will be by my boyfriend’s side the whole night after that.”

“If you say so.”

Alina looked at him like she was still about to say something, but refrained herself to. With knot on her forehead, she stormed out of his room.  

This night indeed was going to be very interesting.  

Alina was glad that they were able to wake up before anybody else in the Little Palace. She was glad that Mal was asked to be an additional security in the Grand Palace for the festivities.  

When she reached her room, she hurriedly locked it and threw herself on her bed with all of her clothes on. Her room was cold, quite noticeable that she was not in here last night. She did not care. Her mind raced through the events that transpired last night.  

It was an unusual night. She remembered enjoying the company of the Darkling, being comfortable talking to him, him telling her his real name. She has never expected that kind of comfort with him. He always usually looked cool and collected, but last night, for the first time she saw him laugh. Genuinely laugh, not like the ominous and clipped laugh that he had, making you think if he is planning your demise behind that laugh.  

She has always felt drawn towards him. Before Mal moved into the Little Palace to become part of the team tracking her amplifiers, for a moment before that she felt an indescribable want to be with him. That was until Mal have confessed his feelings towards her, then they became a couple. The Darkling might not explicitly mention it, but his disdain towards her choice was apparent, still he respected it.  

Except for last night, when she kissed him. He was intoxicatingly close to her, he smelled like the crisp winter night. He was laughing at what she said, his head leaning on to back rest of the sofa in his common area. She did not know what came on to her, when she dipped her head and kissed him.  

He was surprised but he was quick to respond to her kiss. No one attempted to sever the connection, no one dared to stop.  

Shame surged through her whole body. She grabbed her blankets and buried herself under it. She did not bother removing her dirty boots, she just wanted to be enveloped by the darkness for now.  

She was woken up by the urgent knocking on her door.  

“Alina. Are you there?” It was Genya, still knocking at the door as she spoke.

She threw the sheets away from her and was startled with the sunlight entering her room. Still rubbing her eyes from the sleep, she dragged herself to open the door.

“What happened to you?” said Genya as she entered her room.  

She felt terrible so of course it was apt that she looked horrible.

“Also, why is your room so cold?” She headed towards the fireplace and lit it for her.  

She just sat on her bed quietly, not knowing what to say either. She wanted to tell Genya, but she also had to tell Mal if that was the case.  

“What time is it?” She just asked her.  

“It’s after noon now.” Said Genya as she stood up and came to site beside her on her bed. “You missed breakfast. I figured you slept in, since you were out late last night preparing for today. Then I became worried when I did not see you downstairs for lunch.” She eyed her rumpled kefta. “I guess I was right to be worried. I asked some servants to bring you lunch here, so that we can immediately start preparing you for tonight.”  

She just nodded to agree.

“Is something wrong Alina.” Now Genya sounds extremely worried. This was her chance to tell her. She trusts her with everything, for years now she has been her confidant. So why does it seem like she is unable to tell her this. Was it shame?  

“I am just spent.” She opted to say to her, which was not entirely false.  

Genya paused, looking at her face, trying to figure out if she is going to ask more. “All right.” She just said to her.  

Of course she knew that she was keeping something, but she was thankful that she did not press further. It was a horrible feeling keeping this from her, not being able to ask for her comforting advices, but she knew she had to do something first. She had to tell Mal.  

The ballroom was full of people. He despises it, but he knew it was necessary. The Etherialkis are now preparing for their presentation. Blue keftas, differing from the color of their embroideries are organizing on the stage. The orchestra is now tuning their instruments.

He caught a glimpse of her walking towards the back of the stage. Her presence has always illicit murmurs from the crowd, most especially now that a gathering for her sainthood have grown larger over the years. A living saint. He wondered what her congregation would think of her if they knew how she shouted his name, urging him to ravish her, settling him to a brink of insanity.  

He headed towards her direction, finding her alone in the dark. Genya outdid herself this time. Her brown hair was extravagantly pulled up, gathering at her nape, perfectly showing off her amplifier collar. His eyes landed on the sensitive spot on her neck, a memory came into his mind of the sweet taste of that crevice, and a moan from Alina.  

She turned around, cutting him off from his reverie.

The Etherialkis are now being introduced on stage, then the music started.

“Are you ready?” He said as he approached her.  

She visibly gulped and just nodded. She was distracted, looking and searching the crowd.  

“He is stationed at the gates.”  

She looked at him. “I need to tell him.”  

Surprised by her decision, he said. “You think that is a good idea because?”

“He trusts me, I did him wrong, he has the right to know.”  

“The right to know? You also know that there is a possibility that he will leave you if you told him.”

She looked away, now watching the Grishas on the stage.

“I know.” She said, that made the Darkling raise his eyebrow.  

“Why does it feels like that you want him to leave you?”  

“That is absurd. Why would I want that.” She said defensively.

“You are intentionally deciding to sabotage your relationship, Alina. Why else are you telling me that you will tell him about what happened to us?”

She abruptly face him, fury on her face. “It’s about trust.”

“That you have broken.” He reached out to cup her cheeks, it was red and it was warm. “Admit it, Alina. You wanted me and you still want me now. I have given to you everything that your otkazat’sya can’t. I will never look away from your light, from your brightness, from your power. You knew that and you want that.”

“You do not know what I want.”

“I do. I can see it in your eyes, I can feel it in your touch, and I can hear it your voice. You may not shout it, but it was there. Last night, you have let yourself go, remember on how that felt good?” He smiled as the fury from her face was replaced with confusion. She was thinking about it, and it made her blush even more. He moved closer to her.

“No matter what we do, we will always be connected Alina. I tried my best and now I am just tired to pretending of not wanting you. We can stop pretending now. I want to want you as much as I can.”

Her eyes became soft, and her lips parted. She was looking at his lips as well, and as he was about to bow to meet her lips, an applause roared in the ballroom.  

She quickly stepped away from him and stood by his side to make way for the Grisha leaving the stage.

It was now their turn. They took on the stage. They were introduced then the music started. He opened his arms, letting the room be engulfed by the shadow in waves, shadows dancing above the head of the guests like water. When it reached the other end of the ballroom, everything was pitch black.  

“I will tell Mal by midnight.” Alina suddenly whispered to him.  

Then one by one small twinkling lights suspended in the air appeared, giving a soft light to illuminate the awe of the audience. The room looked like a night sky full of stars.

He looked at her. She was looking in front of her, focusing on their creations.  

“Can I expect you to come to me afterwards?”  

She nodded, still not looking at him.

The shadows and stars swirled around the center of the room. The shadow engulfing the stars with it, until a sphere of shadow was in the center of the room. Slowly the shadow was peeling away from the sphere, dispersing around the room, little by little it revealed a ball of light it have covered. With some shadows still dancing around it, and a pale light emitting from it, it looked like a moon. Then with a wave from Alina’s arm, the pale light was replaced by a searing bright light that was immediately spread to the whole room from the ceiling. The ballroom basked under a sunlight in the likes of a summer day, a comfortable warmth and delight was seen from the audience’s faces as they gave them their applause.  

“One does not shine without the darkness.” He heard her whisper.  

He was restless. He was never restless. A few more minutes until midnight. He was waiting for her in the war room. He tried sitting down, but he was buzzing with an energy he can’t quite comprehend. He was pacing the floor.  

He cannot believe that finally his patience paid off. He has been patient with her over the years. He was bidding his time to complete the amplifiers before truly trying to gain her loyalty. He knew he needed her loyalty; he knew that he had to earn her trust, and he was successful in doing so over the years.  

There was just one thing that he did not anticipate, the pull that she seemed to have on him. He regretted bringing in the tracker in Os Alta, but he was the one who found the first amplifier for them, and he knew once they have set out to find the second one, he is the one who will be able to find it.  

He had to endure his presence until all of the amplifiers were complete. He had to endure seeing Alina in his arms, when all he wanted to do was rip them away from his shoulders so that he may never wrap them around hers. He needed to be in their good graces until he can get what he wanted.  

The tracker might leave the palace.

An annoying thought found him, and he knew it to be something that might happen. But he did not care for it anymore. He just wanted Alina. He just wanted to kiss her again, to touch her again and be in her embrace.

Suddenly there was an urgent knock in the door.  

“Moi soverennyi.” It was Ivan.  

“Ivan, did I not instruct everyone to leave me alone for tonight?” he said annoyed.

“Moi soverennyi. It’s...” Ivan repeated. He stood up straight feeling the tense on Ivan’s voice, he seemed scared to say what he wanted to say.

“Come in.”

Ivan entered the room, his red kefta and hands stained with blood.

“What happened?” he asked, scared of what he was about to say.

“It’s Alina.” He was struck on his place, afraid of what he might say next.

“She was stabbed. There was an assassin in the palace grounds.”

“Who was it.” He heard himself say, anger bubbling up inside him, worry for Alina was mixed in with the fury on whoever dared to do this, and he was going to strike them piece by piece until there was nothing left of whoever did this.

“It was one of the Apparat’s priestguards.”

He gripped the edge of the table in front of him, aware of the shadow spilling from his hands and feet. He knew that the Apparat have tried to take Alina to be on his side. With her sainthood’s popularity growing more and more every day, he knew that it was an opportunity for him to take advantage of the naiveté of its followers for his own gain, but Alina, stubborn as ever, refused to support the Apparat’s cause, she found it to be vain. The only way now for the Apparat gain the sun saint’s followers was to stage her martyrdom, and now he really dared to do it even if he knew it would incur his wrath, and his wrath he shall receive.

“Bring him to me. Bring the Apparat as well.”  

Ivan left immediately, then he also made his way out. As he reached the grounds, he noticed the party in the grand palace was still continuing and he despised everyone in the room for it. Their saint was dying and he cannot stand the people in that room continuing on to their debauchery. He wanted to snuff the light out of the ballroom, cut them all up, but he knew that it was of no use. His rage had to be directed somewhere, to someone that deserved it.  

He saw Ivan along with some of his oprinchinkis and corporalnik dragging a frail man, hands covered with blood. Alina’s blood. It made him furious. He had the audacity to spill an important blood, now he will saw his petty and unimportant blood spill right before his eyes.  

Behind him the Apparat was dragged along, he was still trying to fight the grips of the grisha beside him, even if he knew that it would no use. He was spouting nonsense and threats at them, but the corporalnik did not faze.  

“There is no use on trying to slip away.” He said when they have reached him.  

“The King will hear about this.” the Apparat said, but he just laughed at him.

“Oh, I do intend to let him know. Was he behind this as well? Did he asked for Alina to be killed?”

“No. He had no part on this.”

He reached his hand out to the priestguard, his shadows swirling around his neck, until it brought him higher, his eyes widened with fear as he looked at him choking by his shadows.  

“Tell me if this is true.”  

“It is.” he managed to croak out.

“Tell me again. Does the King have a part to kill Alina?”

“No, he does not. It was the Apparat’s plan for the longest time. He also asked me to keep it from the royals.” he said desperately. “Please.”

He was disgusted on his pleading. He had no right to plead for his life when he willingly took Alina’s. He turned his palm up then closed him hands, choking him tighter. The priestguard writhed, his legs flailing above ground, as he tried scratching the shadows on his neck, but it was of no use. His choke on him grew tighter and tighter until he stopped moving. His limp body hung, lifeless and pale. He lets go of him and watched him fall carelessly on the ground.  

Suddenly Genya was running towards them, her eyes bloodshot and face tear stained. He saw the priestguard’s corpse on the floor, there was a quick shock and concern that passed on her face, then an anger, when she saw the blood-soaked hands.  

“Was he...?” Genya asked.

He just nodded.

“It’s Alina. She’s asking for you.”

“Bring him.” He instructed the corporalnik holding the Apparat, then they rushed to the infirmary.

When they arrived, she was in bed lying on the corner of the room, still wearing her black kefta. The tracker was beside her, his hand holding on to hers. When he saw him, he stood up and without a word left her bedside. He quickly came to her side.  

“Aleksander.” she breathed out, visibly struggling.

“Save your breath, love. You need to live. I need you.”

She reached her hands out to him, and he quickly caught it, their hands intertwining.  

He looked up searching for Genya. “Do something! Save her! You have to save her.”  

Genya was crying again, tears streamed from her eyes to her cheeks. “We did our best, the wound was too deep in her heart, the knife was also poisoned.”  

“Aleksander.” Alina said again, more like a whisper this time.

“No. No. No. Don’t let me be alone Alina. I have waited for you for too long. I cannot just lose you now.”

Her other hand reached to wrap the other side of his hand. “Aleksander. I will be always be with you.”  

He felt something tugging inside him, reaching out, he met it, suddenly power surged through him. His eyes widened.

“Alina, no. What are you doing?”  

She smiled, even though it pained her. “I am yours. My power is yours.”

She continued to push her power to him. He was drowning in it as it pools all over him, getting stronger and stronger, until there was none. There was none left on her. She gave him his powers.  

Alina has her eyes closed now, and her breathing was labored. He places her other hand on her cheek, and felt her slowly fade away, slowly get away from his grasp, until she exhaled her final breath.  

It played slowly on his head syncing with the feeling of his heart dropping in his chest.

He can hear the clock ticking, it ticked three time before it stopped for him. The room went still. Sometimes hours can feel like minutes and sometimes a single second can last a lifetime. For Aleksander, the second that would never end, was this one.

“Sankta Alina. Her martyrdom is now complete.” The Apparat shouted. He looked at him feeling his hands buzzing with his new found powers. He swept his arms up. Using the Cut on him with flash of searing light.  

His balance now gone, there was nothing left to do but to tip everything over.

Thank you for reading! I know it’s a bit dark. It’s actually a first for me writing something like this. I hope you enjoyed it! Thank you!

Sometimes hours can feel like minutes and sometimes a single second can last a lifetime. For Aleksander, the second that would never end, was this one.

Ahhhhhhhhhh this is going to be much more heartbreaking than I thought it would. Stop looking at her like that! It melts me and the anger I have for youuuu!!!!!!

The only thing more powerful than you or me is both of us together

A FLUFFY OMELET CONT.

Behold the fluffy continuation of this angsty and a bit smutty piece.

Seriously I cannot stop writing, and I need to cease because I have to work and provide for my book buying needs. Best of luck to me!

Please do tell me what you think of this one! Thank you so much!

Dawn just broke when he woke up, James have noticed by the pale yellow hue of the sky by Cordelia’s window. His wife is peacefully sleeping at his arms, with a small smile on her angelic face. He can’t help himself, he smiled too. Realizing that he could wake up to this everyday and could never tire of it. Noting to himself, to call some help immediately to move some of his belongings on the other room to hers.  

All of a sudden Cordelia groaned, snuggling closer to him. Eyes still heavy, but starting to open. She tilted her face to him, eyes half open.  

“Good morning.” She said hoarsely, voice barely recognizable.  

“Good morning, indeed.” He replied before planting a kiss on her forehead, feeling her smile against his chest.  

“Have you been awake long?” asked Cordelia.  

“No. I just woken up as well.”  

“Let us grab some breakfast, I’m sure Effie is awake now.” She was about to stand, but he held on to her hand stopping her. “Why darling? Is something wrong?” she asked worriedly.

“Everything is great, my love. I just… I want you here in my arms for a minute more. If that is fine with you, of course.” Said James.

Cordelia just chuckled and rested her head on his chest once more.  

“Daisy?”  

Cordelia hummed in response.

“Will you marry me?”

“What are you talking about? We are already married, James.” Cordelia laughed. “If you remembered. There was a ceremony, me in that outrageous gold confection of a gown, you in that gold suit that unbelievably made your eyes even more beautiful, and cousin Jem, playing exquisitely as I walked down the aisle.” She recounted wistfully.  

“Yes, but for the right reasons this time. I would like to marry you again for right reasons this time. Not for a promise of a year, but for as long as we both shall live.” Said James, holding on to Cordelia’s hand and moving it closer to his heart.  

“Oh.” She looked up at him, with a sparkle on her eyes. “How do you propose we do that? Another ceremony? It is quite expensive you know.”  

“I might have an idea.” He carefully scooted aside, and went over to his jacket to get his stele. “There is still the matter of our second runes.”

Cordelia was surprised, she sat up showing her dishelved hair, bring the sheets up her chests to cover up. James joined her sitting on the edge of the bed. He held his hand out to her, offering the stele. “Would you like to go first?”  

Cordelia carefully took the stele from him. Smiling nervously, he placed her hand right over where his heart beats, looking at him. She raised the stele on her hand, then nodded to him before proceeding to draw the rune.

“Set me a seal upon thine heart, as a seal upon thine arm.” she recited while she drew the rune on his chest and James holding her other hand. “For love is strong as death; the coals thereof are coals of fire, which hath a most vehement flame.” and James could not agree more.

When Cordelia finished, she looked at what she drew with a smile, tracing them with her finger. She looked at James, offering the stele towards him.

James knew the exactly where her heart resides, then proceeded to draw her runes, and repeating the vows. “Cordelia Katayoun Carstairs Herondale, now that I have found you, I will not let you go.” said James after he have drawn the rune.

Cordelia placed her palm on his cheek. “James Morgan Henry Herondale, now that I have found you, I will not let you go. I love you.”

“I love you too, my Daisy.” James sets the stele aside, and kissed her wife deeply, falling them both back to the bed.

“Oh! pish posh. Why bother.” Effie shouted at them, which startled them, and James frantically hiding his naked body under the sheets.

“Good morning, Effie.” James greeted mischievously.  

Effie looked furious, she stormed out still holding the folded linens on her arms, that she was probably supposed to bring them in the room.  

They laughed once she was gone.  

“We should probably establish her knocking before coming into our rooms now.” James commented.  

“We probably should.” said Cordelia. “We should also probably get dressed for breakfast and torment Effie more.” she suggested with a wicked glint on her eyes.  

Seeing this made James’ chest expand with joy. He has never looked forward to forever this much in his life. With a deep kiss, he agreed to his wife, and joined her to start a day of their promised lives.  

The vows were taken from Fairytale of London. I was wondering why they were different from what were said from Chain of Iron, but I assumed that it was supposed to be different. Don’t quote me on that I am not entirely sure. The former (Fairytale of London) just feels more apt on this scenario.

Thank you so much for reading! :) 

Can’t stop, won’t stop writing - Jordelia fanfic coming thruuuu

Chain of Iron hangover is very real, thank you very much!

Disclaimers: Chain of Iron Spoilers, Rated M (read at your own risk)

The sound of the clattering of silverware against the glass plates became annoying. Their chewing has somehow become louder on every bite. One was intently looking at her food, while the other can’t seem to leave his deep gold eyes on the other.  

Cordelia was determined to focus on her food. Her eyes down and direct on her plate while her chin parallel to her straight spine. She contemplated on whether she can endure more of the loud clattering and chewing. Holding tightly on her knife and fork, she sighed deeply her eyes closing.  

“Please stop that.” Cordelia said to James, trying her best to control her temper.  

Even with her eyes closed she can feel the corner of mouth raising slightly before responding. “Are you talking to me now?” said James. She opened her eyes, looking at him. He had his hands resting on the table calmly, but his shoulder betrayed to show any calmness at all.

“Yes, it appears to me that you are the only one I am with in this room. Why? Are you seeing a ghost here that I am not seeing?” She tried with a bit of humor as the atmosphere in the room was palpable. She tried not to quake under the intense gaze of her husband.  

“Daisy, you avoided me all day. I just wanted to… You know that we need to talk. Right?”  

Yes, the talk. The dreaded talk. But what did James want her to tell him? He has explained to her, Lucie, and along with the Merry Thieves about Grace and the bracelet she has given to him. He told them that for almost 4 years, he has been tied and manipulated to believe that he was in love with Grace. 

While all she wanted to do was to hold him. Hold his hand, and tell him that everything will be all right, and that she will be right by his side. She cannot bring herself to. A shameful thought went into her head, relieved that the declarations were not true, that everything was but a curse. She was relieved and a bit hopeful, but a flash of realization dawned on her that it was a bad thing that have happened to James. That she had no right to be happy on that fact as she herself is tying James as well. Tying them into a ruse due to their sense of honor. So, what is she supposed to say to him now?  

“Daisy.” She was taken aback on the tone of his voice. Did she hear it correctly? Was he begging?

“Of course. What would you like to talk about?” She gave in removing her clutch on the utensils and placing them on her plate.

“About us. About how I really feel. About the truth. Even with the bracelet with me, I felt it. That is what led for the bracelet to be broken.” said James.  

She remembered the broken halves of the jewelry in the hearth of their drawing room. She blushed remembering what they were doing before that happened. Still somehow, she is unable to grasp what James was trying to say. She knew that something between them was ignited. Living in close quarters and all, but that was the only time that the both of them have went beyond of anything that they have done before. Was that what James was talking about?

“Daisy what I truly felt for you was hidden inside me all along. It -”

“Are you two having tea as well?” Effie announced all of a sudden in the room.  

“Can I have a moment with my wife please!” said James furiously.  

Effie with her eyes wide, shot her hands up in the air as she left the dining room  

“James? Whatever was that for?” said Cordelia.  

“I just… I just wanted to tell you this for a long time. You were gone and it drove me crazy not being able to tell you that I love you. For the longest time. It was you. The moment that damned bracelet was off, all I can think about is you. In my arms and in my future.”

This confused her. Her heart beating wildly on her chest. Absentmindedly she reached for the glass of water and drank everything on it. She thought it would help but it definitely did not. Her chest is hurting, her mind racing. She might have a headache.  

“Daisy? You look pale.”

“I don’t understand. I…” she stopped. She was on the verge of breaking down. She can feel it. Abruptly she stood. She refuses to be seen like that.  

Her feet and her heart were ready to drag her away, to hide away in her room. To run. Again. She was tired. It was painfully tiresome now. This front that she is showing. She knew how she felt, she knew what she has launched herself into. This she did not know. This she did not know would hurt so much. For almost half a year she made herself believe that James did not love her, that he will never love her. She has accepted declarations after declarations of James’ love towards Grace. Over the course that they were married hope blooms in and out of her heart, just to be shattered on the next opportunity. She did not want to feel that pain anymore.

Despite her resistance, a single tear managed to drop from her eye. Then came a stream.  

“Oh no. I am so sorry.” James worriedly said. He stood up on his way to her, reaching for her hand, but the moment he grasped her, she quickly drew it away. No, she can’t take it. Her heart can’t take any more of this.

She looked at him, seeing deep lines of worry and pain visible all through out his face. Surprised, as she has never seen him this transparent before.

Next thing she knew she ran out racing to the stairs, wiping her tear stained cheeks on her way.  

“Daisy, stop. Where are you going?” she heard James, as she was halfway up the stairs.

She did not stop. She refuses to be seen like this.  

She was about to open the door to her room when he finally caught up with her. He pulled her to face him.

“What do you expect from me, James? By telling me that what are you expecting? I have… I have loved you. I cannot stop loving you even if I have led myself to believe that you will never do. Every single time that I slip up and expect something else from you I just get pain, and I don’t want to hurt anymore James. I don’t know how to stop hurting.”

She was looking intently on the rising and falling of James’ chest now. She cannot get herself to look at his face, not when she just spilled everything to him.  

His hand loosened its grip on hers, moving it towards her chin, raising her face to meet his. His thumb, wiped the tears that have pooled on her jaw.  

“I am terribly sorry my love, I didn’t know. I… tell me. Please tell me what I can do.” said James.

There is just one thing that she wanted to do. What she wanted the moment she saw him after weeks of being away from Paris. What she wanted the moment they stepped on 48 Curzon street after they were married. One thing in this entire world that she has always wanted.

“Kiss Me. I want you to-” but she was not able to finish talking, all of a sudden, his lips came down crashing on hers. Wave after wave of emotion came down on them. Her arms on his shoulders, her hand on his hair, that every time she combed her hands through it, a moan escape.

His hand on her nape, fingers inching higher to her head. The other hand on her hips, clutching the material of her dress.  

She had to move closer. She had to feel him, all of him.  

“I am yours Daisy. I am yours from now on. Will you have me?” said James against her mouth. She reached to his lips covering it with hers again before answering.

“Yes.” She said intoxicatingly. “And I yours.”

He led her inside her room without letting go of her. His feet reached out to close the door behind them. Holding her face on both of his hands, a kiss on her forehead, on her nose, then said.  

“I have found you now, and I will never let you go.” then continued to kiss her with fervor and want. Ignited and all consuming. Her heart leaps as his lips trails kisses on the side of her jaw to the base of her throat, it’s making her head spin. He continued south on to the top of her breasts. Eliciting a moan out of her.

“James.” she gasped.

He looked up at her, eyes burning with desire and determination. “Would you like me to stop?” He asked, almost a whisper.

“No. Don’t stop” said Cordelia, as she moved a strand of hair out of his face. He held on to that hand and kissed the bottom of her palm.  

He stood up straight, looking intently on to her eyes, as he removed his jacket. Cordelia joined him, helping to remove the clothing out of him. Once it was on the floor, James grabbed on to her face, kissing her deeply once more, as Cordelia splayed her fingers on his chest, feeling the wild beating of his heart. Feeling the warm and taut muscles and skin beneath his shirt. It was inadequate she thought, she needed to feel him, so she started to unbutton his shirt one by one, until there was none. She opened his shirt, revealing James’ torso, grazing his chest to his shoulders, letting the shirt fall on to his arms and on to the floor.  

James was walking backwards leading her to the edge of her bed, where he sat down. Holding her waist, he pulled her down to sit on his waist, where she gladly obliged.  

“Are you sure about this?” He asked.  

“I have never been this sure in my entire life. My heart is yours James Herondale, so is my body and soul. Own it.” said Cordelia.  

“As you wish, Cordelia Herondale.” said James, smiling, as his hands made its way to her back to unbutton her dress.  

Once all has been unbuttoned, they let it pool on her waist, leaving her in corset and chemise.  

James kissed her collarbone, her neck, then her lips. “You are so beautiful, so bright, and so unbelievable.”

Cordelia smiled adoringly on her husband. Taking in the sight of him. James was already working to loosen her corset, and when he has done so, he removed it over her head along with her chemise, now there were only space in between them.  

James turned and brought her with him, making her lie on the bed and him on top of her. Her skin tingles as she felt his skin against hers, as he kissed her breasts, and as he took a nipple in his mouth. The bottom of her stomach was in disarray. Confused by what she is truly feeling as she is feeling everything at once. Excitement, nervousness, passion, love.  

He had his hands under her knees, then up her legs, until he reached the top of stockings, just over her exposed skin. His fingers trailing upwards, it’s making her dizzy.

She moans, encouraging him to go higher, and when he found her, she gasped for air. His calloused hand bringing electricity to her body, her hips arching towards him, begging.

“James, I want you now.” said Cordelia.

He kissed her once more on the lips before kneeling on top of her on the bed, removing his belt, then pulling his trousers down.  

“My love, it will hurt for a moment.” said James as he wedges himself between her thighs, feeling him, warm and ready.

“It’s worth it.” she smiled.

James went to kiss her again with a smile on his lips. “I love you, Daisy.” then thrusted himself on to her.  

Her response was lost in the gasps that followed. They left everything in the moment and got lost in each other’s arms. She was his and he was hers. Now made true more than ever.

I’m… yep. Dunno how to explain myself but yep. 

Please tell me what yah think about it. :) 

The fluffy continuation is here

Thank you so much for reading this mess. 

Eggs: soft boiled

Steak: medium rare

Milk: whole

Alcohol: tequila

Hot drink: green tea with lemon ❤️

oh

my

fucking

god

everyone on mobile click on the rb button on this post and then when it opens the writing screen long press the post button in the upper right

Breaking of Chain - 4. Painless Fire

Ever since James got engaged to Cordelia, he have visited Magnus Bane's place for a significant amount, and it was always with his parabatai, Matthew.

Matthew was known to be fond of the warlock, so when Magnus have decided to stay in London for a while, Matthew would visit him whenever possible, and they were always welcome.

Moments later, Cordelia have arrived. It was only mid afternoon yet the sky was considerably gloomy. Cordelia's presence have always brought him light and warmth for reason he could not explain. Now it was particularly different, yet somewhat familiar to him. He feels things for her beyond his understanding of himself. Something that felt like to him he was holding on to for a long time now.

“It looks like it is going to rain isn't it?” She said to him when she have reached him. A few of her curls were loose on her face, while the rest were tucked under her hood.

“We should hurry before it pours.” He said then off they went to Magnus's apartment. It was not a long walk as it was only a few blocks away from where they met. A thunder was heard as soon as they reached his doors.

Cordelia knocked on the door, in a moment, Magnus opened the door. He could never really disappoint to impress James every time he sees him. Now he is wearing a deep blue silk robe that touches his floor, and untied. His pale-yellow shirt intended to be hastily untucked.

Another rumbling was heard from the sky.

“Oh goodness, do come in. This looks like it is a heavy one.” He moved to let Cordelia and James enter his apartment.

They were greeted by a cat, a gray persian cat, who is now purring on the bottom of Cordelia’s dress, as she removed her coat.

“Well hello there Church.” Cordelia greeted the cat cheerfully, sitting down on the floor, to scratch the cat’s chin. Whenever they came over at Magnus, Church only seemed to like Cordelia. They were told that it used to live in the institute and was owned by Uncle Jem.

“I did not expect for your soon to be other half to come along.” Magnus said to Cordelia, as he strode off to his living room, sitting on one of the armchairs, his legs crossed.

Cordelia stood up, and looked at James. “Oh, I... It slipped my mind to inform you.”

“No matter. Now. What is it that you wish for me to look at?”

Cordelia and James went over Magnus and sat on the loveseat in front of him. Cordelia dug on to her pocket and produced an object covered in her handkerchief. She puts in on the table in front of them then revealed what was inside. His bracelet.

He turned to Cordelia and noticed that she was looking at him warily.

“This” Magnus said. “Is this not yours James?” he asked looking intently at James.

“It is.” He answered. Absentmindedly he touched the wrist where the bracelet once resided. A phantom of coldness encircling where it was placed.

“And why does your fiancé would like me to look on it?”

Cordelia started, telling him about what happened that night. Excluding some of the details that does not need to be disclosed.

“Loyalty binds me” Magnus narrowed his eyes towards James. “Cartwright.” He said with a tone of understanding on where the bracelet came from.

Magnus waves his hands over the bracelet, making it float in front of them. With his hands faced towards it, he whispers a chant, his cat-eyes focused intently on the bracelet.

James was wondering on what could be wrong with it. He had it for a very long time, as it was given to him by Grace when he retrieved it for her. Grace. It's odd thinking about her now. She feels like a memory now. He knew he loved her before. Does he still feel that way about her now?

“One thing.” Magnus said. The bracelet is back on the table now. He is breathing heavily and beads of sweat can be seen on his face. “Actually there are two things I would like to say. One. Get yourselves far from the Blackthorns as much as possible.”

He felt Cordelia shift beside him uncomfortably, when he looked at her he she was looking at the bracelet confusingly.

“And the other one?” James asked.

“This bracelet has been under the influence of a very dark magic, as it makes a person believe that he is in love with a particular person.” Magnus said carefully eyeing them both as he said each words. “You James Herondale, have seemed to have been under the influence of such.”

It somehow did not made sense to him. “That… that is not possible. I loved Grace for so long. I knew that. It was painful, and it was there I felt it. I don't understand.”

He felt Cordelia hitched a breath beside him. Her hand grabbing on to her skirt, yet her face was unfazed.

“The magic that this bracelet possesses is very powerful. You see there is no magic in this world that could make you fall in love with someone, it just makes you believe or at the very least get infatuation, that also fades over some time. But this, it's different. I can see that it may not have the full effect on you now given that you are not wearing it, but some of the magic lingers on to you. The fact that you have worn this for so long also contributes to that.” Magnus explained to them. For some reason, he was looking at Cordelia with pity, and she looked away.

He was still confused. It was difficult for him to accept it. For so long he have ached for Grace. For so long he thought the world of her. Now it was all because of a bracelet?

“I know this may confuse you now. I may be able to help you on that if you'd let me.” Magnus offered.

James just nodded. His head was still swimming with different thoughts. Of the summer nights at Idris. The kisses that tasted like burnt sugar. The letters.

Magnus snapped his fingers, then produced blue flames from his palm. He felt warm all of a sudden, then he closed his eyes.

He saw Cordelia. Memories with her suddenly came flooding in. The nights he had a scalding fever. Of Layla and Manjun. The whispering room. When he asked him for advice on who to marry. When she agreed to marry him.

Then it stopped. He opened his eyes, the first thing that he saw was Cordelia's eyes, full of worry.

“Daisy.” James said.

“What happened?” She asked Magnus, but her eyes never left him.

“With this kind of magic, I know there might be some memories that have been forcefully tucked away or altered in order to not create any conflict on his feelings. I just resurfaced those memories, as it might help him with his confusion.”

Suddenly there was a knock on his door. Cordelia and James stood up abruptly.

Magnus stood up as well, and made the bracelet disappear with a wave.

Whenever there are unexpected guest on Magnus' apartment, they would always go hide, as he explained that those who seeks his services might not see kindly to a Nephilim in the premises.

Without a word, James grabbed Cordelia's hand as they head into one of the bedrooms, while Magnus went to answer the door.

“How… How are you feeling?” Cordelia asked once they have closed the door.

A sweet smell. It was a memory of a sweet smell that came to him. He remembered holding Cordelia in that room. A feeling that grew over him reaching out, wanting more desperately. He knew then that he have never wanted anything like that in his life. He knew now that he felt the same now. That was the only thing that he was certain of now.

He reached out to her, tucking her hair on to her ear. “My angel, Daisy. How could I have been so blind? For so long. You told me before, that it need not to be pain. You were right.”

“What do you mean?” Cordelia asked.

“I told you I burn for you, but it have never caused me pain Daisy. It was not torture. Maybe it was desperation as whenever you are close I just want you in my arms.” His thumbs moved to her lips, tracing them. “and on how much do I want to kiss those lips again, that have brought me out of my misery.”

Cordelia reached out to run her hands on his hair then resting her arms on his shoulders, as she pulled herself up to him. Next thing he knew, she was kissing him. It was delicate as she held him on his nape, yet it was there, the desire carefully poured, avoiding any spill.

She then broke away. “I do wanted that too. For so long I wondered when.” She said as she looked on his lips.

James broke the space between them then went back to kiss Cordelia. They were kissing each other back, fervenrently and urgently this time. James held her waist as he pinned her down to wall. Every bit of him wanted to cling on to her, be near her so bad. They were very close, yet it was not enough. He knew, it won't ever be enough.

Cordelia's leg clings on to the back of his, inching him to be closer to her. Their mouths, soft as they might be, were searching deep and desperately for each other.

Intoxicated he moved, kissing her chin, her jaw, her throat, her neck. With every kiss, she muffles a moan and her hands held on to his hair. Her heavy breath crashed on to his chest, as she tried to lean even closer.

He went back to her lips. Addicted to the taste of it. Tongues crashing, and teasing deepens.

“Apologies for interrupting.” They heard Magnus, waking them up to their senses, making them jump away from each other. “If you could save some for your honeymoon. Also, your friend is here.”

A well dressed blond suddenly appeared from Magnus' back. “Again?” Mathew said, unamused.

It's a bit long I know, but I hope you enjoy this one as much as I have enjoyed writing it. It's not yet done, but it might be near. Thank you so much for reading. ❤️❤️❤️

Breaking the Chain - A Prelude to 4. Posts

I had some fun with fonts ☺️ Next Chapter coming up in a few (days?)

Breaking the Chain - 1. Treacherous Hope

Cordelia decided that looking for books might help her get off some things on her head. There were a considerable amount of brand new titles on the long table inside of the institute's library and most if not all of them were very interesting. Yet it was not enough. She sighed and thought, well this is normal considering her wedding is in days. Within months of preparation her wedding is finally in view. It is utterly dreadful. For a year she will be married to a man she loves. For a year he promised to make her happy as his wife. After that, she does not know if she can be happy again. The thought of the union ending is already so devastating, for it to actually happen would be heartbreaking. It is getting harder and harder everyday to pretend to be a happy bride, when in fact the nearer her wedding comes, the more that her heart breaks.

“Penny for your thoughts?” she heard someone say. As she looked up she saw a well dressed man in a silk waistcoat and velvet jacket standing on the doorway of the library. His hand offered towards her with a penny levitating on top of it.

“Just a bride worrying about her wedding.” She answered smiling at him.

With a snap of his fingers the penny on his hands disappeared. “A wedding in less than a week. That would definitely get you thinking doesn't it?” Magnus said as he walked toward her on the long table. When he reached one of the chair besides her he asked: “May I?” Cordelia nodded as he took a seat. “You do love him don't you?”

Without an inch of a lie she answered: “Yes I do.”

“Then why only a year?” When she heard him she suddenly sat up straight on her seat. Panic began to surface as she looked at him with surprise and wide eyes. Magnus is particularly close with the Herondales. Have he-.

“No worries. I haven't uttered a word to their parents.” He cuts her thoughts, as if reading it.

“They would be devastated if they knew.” She said.

“Especially Will. I have noticed that he grew quite fond of you now. Well, given that you are a Carstairs, it is no surprise really.” She smiled.

Over the past months she have been invited for dinners and game nights at the institute. She smiled ruefully knowing that in a year that is another thing that she will be losing.

“So why only a year?” Magnus asked again. “James is clearly in love with you too.”

“No, he is not unfortunately.” She said with every word piercing her being.

“Oh dear. Watch closely, there might be something you are missing. I have lived long enough to know genuine from not. The way he looks at you might be the rarest and most genuine love I have seen.”

She looked at him confused, not knowing what to say.

“Daisy, they are read—” It was Lucie, stopping as she noticed who she was with. “Magnus. Hello. Did not know you'd be here.”

“Your father have summoned me, then I have noticed our bride here on my way to his study. Just stopped by to ask how she is doing.”

“Well I'd have to whisk away our bride now, for she has a beautiful gown to fit into.” Lucie said as she stretched out her arms towards me. I stood up and crossed the room to take it.

“It was nice talking to you Magnus.” She said to him as she reached Lucie.

He smiled at her and nodded. “Anytime dear.”

“See you around, Magnus.” Lucie said before she pulled her away to the parlor. Yet her thoughts remained in that room, confused and a bit hopeful. Which she quickly had to disregard, for that kind hope could cause a great pain for her.

_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_

As he entered the institute, a string of laughter can be heard from the open door of the parlor. From the deep laughter of his father to the light and cheerful of his sister. Only one puts a smile on his face, the sweet and melodic laugh of Cordelia.

He did not expect for Cordelia to be still here at this hour. He knew that earlier today they had their dress fitting in the institute for the wedding, thus Matthew, being his suggenes as well as someone who Lucie have deemed responsible to keep James away from the institute for the day, delivered. Along with the rest of the Merry Thieves, they spent their day at the Devil's Tavern, then proceeded to Hell Ruelle, wherein they have encountered a couple of demons lurking around Fleet St.

A significant amount of demon ichor can be found on him, he ought to change before greeting his family at the parlor, when suddenly Lucie came out urgently.

“James?” she looked at his clothes, disgusted by the sight. “Are those ichor?”

“Some of them. Most are on Christopher.” He said as he surveyed himself checking if there are more than he knew.

“Given how most things explodes on him.” She answered. “By the way, Daisy is in the parlor, and I am going to get something in my room.” Then she hurried upstairs.

He still opted to change first before greeting them, yet his urge to see Cordelia is much more urgent at this point. As he walked towards the room, he removed his coat where most of the ichor are. He folded it then placed it on the first stool he came across.

Then there she was. Glowing with gold and red as the light from the fireplace reflects on her like a halo. Warmth surged through him as he saw her laugh at something that his father was telling her.

It was his mother who noticed him first. “James, come join us.”

Cordelia turned to see him, smiling at him encouragingly to join them. He approached her, placing his hand on her soft waves, as he leaned in to kiss her forehead. “How are you, my Daisy?” he asked her.

Hi. Thanks for reading? Would you like to read more?

This song has been out only a few days, but it have really helped me a lot. Whenever I am alone, I used to think a lot of what has happened to me the past month and how depressed and hurt I was then up until now. So now, when that happens I would start humming to this and sing it on my mind. It would happen that I forgot the melody so I would either play the song or recite the lyrics until I am singing it out loud. then I’ll take a deep breath and suddenly I feel much lighter and composed. Whenever I feel depressed or when anxiety kicks in, this episode would come into my mind, and it reminds me that it’s fine to think about it and be sad about it so I can move on from them. 

I don’t think I can thank Rebecca Sugar and the whole Crewniverse for creating this song, this episode and this show. This show is not just entertaining, it is also reaching out to its audience, teaching them valuable things on the issues that our society has been turning their heads from. Thank you so much Steven Universe. 

I DONT CARE IF YOU LIKE STEVEN UNIVERSE OR NOT

If you suffer from Anxiety, Depression, Disassociation, Intrusive thoughts, or any number of things that take you away from a healthy head-space then this song is for you. This song is a template for a coping mechanism. This will walk you through a legitimate method of addressing intrusive thoughts and working through them in order to ground yourself. I cannot express how important this is- for people like me who suffer from these moments all the time this song is so important.

YES!

Teachers: Wikipedia is very unreliable *Hands out 25 year old textbooks instead*

Reblog this if you take a book everywhere you go.

someone: you're not a burden, you know? you're not. you know that. you believe me.

me, lying through my teeth: Yeah

Graduated college on time!

this is the money dog, repost in the next 24 hours and money will come your way!!

thank you for saving humanity!!!!! 

To All Writers of Everything Ever

I need to rant about this:

Also known as the best writing program ever! It’s a full-screen writing program!

So you open it up, and it looks like this:

You’re thinking, “Ok, so what? It’s a screen with a picture. Whoopdie do.” But it get’s better! It’s customizable!

See that “appearance”? Click it.

You can also use custom fonts that you have installed!

See that “music”? Click it.

If you drag your own music into the folder, like so:

You get this!:

But wait! It gets better!

See “typing sounds”? You can change those too!

Perhaps the best is - YOU CAN USE ANY PICTURE FOR THE BACKGROUND. It will automatically fade it for you!

Seriously, guys, this tool is wonderful. You can use it for:

Research papers

Novel writing

Play writing

Short stories

Homework assignments

Ranting about your friends when they piss you off

Writing your shopping list

It auto-saves. It exports to .rtf. Hotkeys from Word for italicize, underlining, and bold work. You can print RIGHT FROM THERE.

And the seriously best thing ever?

It fits on a flash drive. The entire thing with added music is maybe 131MBs.

The bestest thing ever.

It’s free.

ML Ep. 22:  Jackady

The emotional rollercoaster! I was just shouting the whole episode! 

this is perfect hahahaha >_< 

stressed. — lemon balm tea. bloated. — peppermint tea. slow metabolism. — green tea. nauseous. — ginger tea. sleepless nights. — chamomile tea. common cold. — elderflower tea.

I am on the verge of not caring at all. Like fuck everything! I’m gonna do what I want get the hell out of your fucking drama. Say whatever you want because I am just going to ignore you and your stupid face. 

But unfortunately I can’t do that. I just can’t. If I can I would but I can’t. 

↖ this person’s life was completely destroyed by the gravity falls series finale

pass it on

205

a

Yes!!!! Hawdaddy please!!!! I beg of you!!!!!

OMG I JUST CHECKED MY CALENDAR AND SAW THAT THIS YEAR'S VALENTINE DAY IS ON SUNDAY!! SO MAYBE WE'RE GONNA GET A VALENTINE MIRACULOUS EPISODE FULL OF OTP MOMENTS. CAN'T WAIT.

SWEET. BABY. JESUS.