Latest Posts by iwantmystupidlifeback - Page 2

I’m getting tired of this life

He looks down in such a sad way as if the words hurt him but a little smirk remained at the corner of his lips and I felt my heart just ache to see his smile and his red eyes to become bright and beautiful. He moves his hand to my cheek in such a loving way I can’t help but let a soft sigh leave my body.he rubs his thumb over my cheek and a low chuckle erupts from his chest and his low voice says * you’re beautiful *i look up at him and kiss him lightly and run my fingers through his long pink hair and his beautiful red eyes stare back at me. I feel my heart jump and my chest warms up. I love this man and I want to keep him forever and ever.i move closer to him and kiss him more and he wraps his arms around me and lays me down with him. I lay over him and mumble “I love you” I kiss him again and cry lightly “please keep me please”he kisses me holding me closer kissing my neck lightly so lovingly I melt in his arms and under his soft lips and close my eyes and I just listen to his breath and the bed beneath us and just clear my mind. He moves his hands down my back and mumble in his deep smooth voice * my babygirl * the words flow through my ears to my brain and sinks in deep causing me to smile and melt. His words are like a rose they can be beautiful and alive and red but then the thorns prick my heart causing it to bleed but not to the point of death to the point of nearing death. Only for his red ruby eyes to put a bandaid over the little hole and to make me want him even more. I don't know if he knows the control he has over me. I'm a slave to his voice. He could so easily tell me to do whatever and I would do it willingly.i turn to him and beg in the sweetest of voices to hear my name come through his lips. He gives me a smile that could so easily shatter my mind. He leans up and looks me in the eyes and in a soft yet dark whisper “y/n” my heart just stops and I close my eyes and my brain takes his words and imprints them into my mind. I lay my head on his chest and hold his large hand and look at his nails and his skin studying it as if I'll never see it again and move it to my lips and kiss it so soft as if I'm kissing glass and might cut my lip and I hear a deep grunt and look up to meet his eyes. He gives me a smile that could charm anyone and he asks what I'm doing and I just look up like a lost child and say nothing fearing if I did he disappear right from under me. My eyes wonder his chest seeing every scar every cruel thing that this world has done to my beloved. I look to his face seeing more scars. I want to reach out and touch them and show him not everything is evil. I just go blank and feel myself fading. Only thing I feel is his hand on my back and my back is imprinting his touch in a panic to save everything.he moves me up and I follow so I'm at the edge of the bed between his legs and I look up at him and his hands move over a slight fear of death and longing comes over me. His hair moves with his form and over his shoulder near his eyes and I can see the red of his eyes cut through his beautiful pink hair as if they long to be as beautiful as his hair. I feel as if I'm kneeling before a Greek god. His light pink skin and his form is large and his bones are strong. He Could be a Greek god. His hands move over my head and my shoulders and neck. I hold my breath and look up as if I'm under his mercy and close my eyes when his thumb moves over my lips In a soft way and I relax “You're so cute” his voice makes me smile and I move and rest my cheek into his palm. I giggle lightly “only for u” i look up at his chest and see the scars and move my hand up slowly and trace the scars with my finger and hum lightly and he looks at my fingers then my face “you like them” I nod and smile “their beautiful beloved “ I see his eyes become softer as if my words brought him back to reality. I look up feelings my heart ache. My head spins as the voices scream. “He doesn’t deserve this” “ they don’t deserve him “ “ protect him “ “ love him” I feel myself becoming overwhelmed.

I hold his hands close resting my chest on his knees as I kneel before him. He feels me shake. leaning forward he kisses my head and hums. “ what are they telling you my love “ I look up with tears “ t...t..t...they want you to be protected and loved “ his thumb moves over my face gently. I look up and hum “ I love you “ he kisses me softly “I love you more “ he lingers on my lips as if letting go will cause me to fade from his hands. I grip his hands and he rest his forehead on my shoulder. “ I promise I’ll protect you “ i gently run my fingers through his hair and kiss his shoulder and hum a Tune an old tune only he would understand. I feel him relax. The voice start to cry for him. “ protect him “ “ kill for him “ “ he all we have SAVE HIM “ I shake and hold him closer.

Sapnap x reader

“I’ve always done stuff for you, I’ve cleaned and taken care of you. Your so u grateful”

I sit their feel my chest warm and try to hold back tears keep a straight face while my own mom yells at me, I look around the room seeing my dad just ignoring what is happening, he’s never stood up for me or help me once, he’s not my protector. She finally stops and I leave the room. I close my door locking it, I let tears fall and I open my mouth for nothing to come out. I cry silently and fall to my knees. I want to cry loudly and scream so bad. I move to my bed and let tears freely drop as It becomes hard to breath. My mind faces as I cry, ever thing they have said or done to me floods my mind causing me to city harder. I feel a gentle hand move across my back, I meet my lovers face. He’s face shows sadness, I look away feel ashamed of my face. My parents have always made me feel bad for having emotions so to cry in front of him makes me feel useless and worthless. He wraps his large arms around my chest and under my legs. He lifts me moving more onto the bed, he kisses my forehead and wipes my tears as they fall, my body just relaxes in his arm, he puts my hair behind my ear whispering soft words, his hit breath makes me shiver even when I’m in pain he makes me feel so loved. He’s hands gently touch my body as he kisses my cheeks and neck gently as I cry. Even tho I can’t explain my words. He finds ways to make me feel good. I turn holding his hand “ please take me out of here” he smiles warmly keeping me in his arms, we move to the window, he holds me tightly “ close your eyes” I do as he says feeling him jump, I peek my eye open feel a smile creep onto my face seeing how free he looks. I close my eyes until I feel his grip loosen. He lays me in his room, I look over seeing him take his shoes off. I lay on my back on his beautiful bed, I hum then feel his hands move up my sides as he sits between my legs. I look up as he lends over.him being taller makes me look extremely small. He smiles warmly cupping my cheeks. “I’ve always protected you y/n” I look up smiling letting tears run down not out of sadness but of happiness.I owed him the world. Many times I wanted to take my own life. And die slowly or painful or just anyway, he always showed up when my thoughts became dark, he pulled me out so quickly, he always looked panicked as if my thought were sitting next to me with a knife or chains or rope encouraging me to end it. I get pulled from my thoughts when I feel his warm hands hold my eyes and he places small kisses around my tummy, his hair rests over his brows making his beautiful eyes disappear. I close my eyes and relax under his touch. He looks up moving his arms under me, he gets closer to my face places small kisses on my lips holding the back of my neck, the kisses became deeper and more desperate. He moves to my neck and hums “ you know I love you right” I look at him nodding, he looks me in the eyes “ please don’t leave me “ I look at him confused “ I wouldn’t leave you “ he looks almost sad “ I know you don’t want to live but please don’t go please “ his voice cracked and he looks away, my heart breaks. I wrap myself around him and kiss him deeply “ I love you” he kisses me back and rubs his fingers through my hair “promise me please y/n promise “ I look at him “ I promise “ he kisses me more as the night goes on, I feel peace again I feel like the evil that ran through my mind has gone away, I love him with all my heart if only he was real.

Gentle

I lay on his chest breathing heavily and cry into his shirt, he rests his arm on my back keeping me close. Gently moving his fingers over my side. His lips gently kiss my shoulder as I sob and shake. He kisses my head rubbing my side and back gently whispering sweet words that made me cry more not out of sadness but out of pity. I don’t deserve this. I never deserved this. He brings me closer and rubs my wet cheeks as he kisses my forehead, he holds me as if I’m young again. My mind drifts to memories I wish I never had. I sit in a corner of a somewhat empty room crying alone as my world falls apart, I was so little and alone. He pulls me from my thoughts holding me tighter, I feel his chest and arms shake. I feel the wet drops on my head,it’s as if he can feel my pain as if he went into my mind too. As if he sat next to me and cried. He chokes out a sob while I continue to cry into his chest. My sob become more pained. I’m hurting him, I’m hurting him. I grip his shirt and mumble his name begging him to not cry, this pain is my own, they hurt me not him. He saved me. The nights I laid in bed wishing hoping for my death, the dark hole that I laid in. He reach in pulling me out, I still hate myself and life but he makes it all bare able. To feel his body shake as if he’s in pain scares me, i look up at him to see his beautiful eyes glossy, his brows rest downwards and his forehead wrinkles slightly as his sobs rack his body, he speaks lowly. Telling me that he wanted to save me and take this pain away, his grip became desperate as if letting me go would end his life or I would fade away, he was scared. I told him I wanted to die, i told him I’m in pain constantly, i told him I feel dead inside, I’m not me. Theses words broke him to his core, he rubs his fingers through my hair pulling me closer begging me to hang on and that he would help. I feel my head start to pound as he keeps me close,he cries more not caring about how he sounds or looks. This beautiful man sits before me letting the pain for his beloved flood out. He wanted to scream. He loved me and only me.He places soft kisses on my head and face, he moves to my lip kissing me in a way that couldn’t be Described as hunger or lust or passion. It was a kiss of promise, he was my angel sent from heaven, he was meant to be in my life, he was willing to die just to make sure i woke up the next morning. just to make sure i didn’t look in the mirror and hate myself. Just to make sure i didn’t think of constant death. He pulls away breathing lightly, his tears hit my cheeks running down them chasing my own, even tho his eyes were slightly red and his cheeks were slight red, he still gave me a smile. The very smile that made me think maybe life wasn’t so pointless, maybe I do deserve love or a friend. He’s soft gentle hands rub my cheekbones taking my tears with them. His eyes look into my soul, no words or writing could explain the look in his eyes. It wasn’t possessive or desire or need. It was a plead or promise. He had this power to speak without even opening his mouth, he was true to his words even if the words weren’t on his tongue or fell from his lips. His actions were so loud like when he bring me a flower or gazes at me. He is selfless and beautiful no other person could describe him in a way I could, no scientific facts or author or song writer. Not even ancient Scholars could predict or summon a man like him. I rest my forehead on his closing my eyes but hold him tight as if he would slip away. He leans back resting me on his chest as he gently rubs my back. He whispers a sweet “I love you” before I’m consumed by sleep.