she/her || I’m a writer, I swear || and a huge fangirl || also a language learner and a nerd in general and a lot of other things
179 posts
Latest Posts by jane-of-almost-all-trades - Page 2
What they can see:
What they can’t see:
me watching Narcos and making a little mental note whenever I can identify a new swear word or expression
Reblog if you think it’s okay to platonically say “I Love You” to your friends
Vivaldi played by the South African elementary school Goede Hoop Marimba Band
Turn ON the sound
Love how Tuco's Abuelita is presented to the audience as a harmless old lady that is innocent of her grandson's crimes, but she tells Tuco to use club soda to get the "salsa" stain out of the carpet.
Except club soda will do jack shit for that stain. It will, however, clean up blood stains.
A cheese sandwich
If I ask nicely will people reblog this and tell me what their most common breakfast is? Not your favorite necessarily, just what you have for breakfast most frequently? 🙏🏽
‘Well, I have rather a rascally look, have I not?’
Oh what’s this? Another scrungly Numenorian?
Reblog if you're not homophobic
Every url that reblog’s will be written in a book and shown to my homophobic dad.
I had to speak French once (like, it was a test, it actually had to be French, not whatever works) and I had to really resist the temptation of saying “hombre” (spanish for man) instead of “homme” (french for man) because my brain somehow decided that “hombre” sounded, like, more beautiful? more natural? more suitable? idk. I wasn’t even learning Spanish back then yet.
Also, during the same test I think I almost said (or even actually said, I don’t remember) a really tired “Yeah…” instead of what should’ve been a really tired “Ouais…” (same thing but in French). Since English is also a foreign language to me, this is yet another example of what OP’s describing.
What they don’t tell you about speaking multiple languages is that your brain does not in fact have a box labeled Spanish and another one labeled German. Instead it has a box labeled “Not English” and sometimes when you’re talking or writing in one of the languages you speak it will just start pulling random words from that box.
This is where the dragons went ...
And although the space they occupy isn’t like normal space, nevertheless they are packed in tightly. Not a cubic inch there but is filled by a claw, a talon, a scale, the tip of a tail, so the effect is like one of those trick drawings and your eyeballs eventually realize that the space between each dragon is, in fact, another dragon.
They could put you in mind of a can of sardines, if you thought sardines were huge and scaly and proud and arrogant.
-Terry Pratchett, Guards! Guards!
Discworld Politics
Random things that are canon in Sherlock BBC that we don’t talk about enough:
- Sherlock is friends with BANKSY
- Sherlock and John have played board games together in their free time (and it went to shit)
- Sherlock taught John to waltz behind closed curtains on Bakerstreet more than once AND they were caught by Mrs Hudson
- John has an alcoholic lesbian sister he doesn’t get along with
- John thinks that Sherlock is autistic
"likes mean nothing on tumblr" you're sending me a little heart. that's not nothing it's your heart. look here's one for you <3
And back when there was no light pollution, people were used to seeing these figures every night… They made up stories about them, like children do about characters in pictures on their bedroom walls that have been there since they remember… And they argued about what animal each one looked like, and now we can’t even see half of the stars that shaped the whole image…
It’s so weird to see constellations in real life, especially for the first time. Like, you are aware that there are these figures in the sky, you know what they look like and what they’re named, you even know legends about some of them, and then, when you finally come to a place with lower light pollution and raise your head, you see that there’s indeed this huge ass shiny figure hanging up in the sky, looking exactly like the drawing in the book, but it’s actually up there, shining at you… It’s so crazy.
It’s so weird to see constellations in real life, especially for the first time. Like, you are aware that there are these figures in the sky, you know what they look like and what they’re named, you even know legends about some of them, and then, when you finally come to a place with lower light pollution and raise your head, you see that there’s indeed this huge ass shiny figure hanging up in the sky, looking exactly like the drawing in the book, but it’s actually up there, shining at you… It’s so crazy.
Tuco either compliments Gus’ chicken and slaps him on the shoulder so hard he almost falls through the floor, or says that it’s garbage and throws the plate in Gus’ general direction, then smashes the table. (I am unable to picture the further development of this interaction).
In either situation any Los Pollos Hermanos employee that didn’t run away through the back door as soon as Tuco came in gets a bonus.
need gus and tuco to interact
this is a confession to the star wars fandom because I have to get this off my chest. last summer just for fun I taught myself to read aurebesh and. you fanartists have Got to Continue putting the most Hilarious stuff into the background of your art because it is literally my favorite thing
here’s a couple of excellent things I’ve read since I started keeping a list just last month:
- “I hate drawing lightsabers”
- “Idk what to put here”
- “stupid fucking sign”
- “eat paste, it’s good”
- an entire news article on a phone screen which I actually found really impressive
- a few funny misspellings but the best one so far was ahsoka somehow becoming “asock”
- wanted poster of obi wan that read “wanted for fashion crimes”. the caption translated it as “wanted for high treason”. like blatantly lying to my face. love it.
- door on a ship was labeled “cake storage”
- “shopping list: frogs, hair gel, lightsaber polish”
and my personal favorite:
- “if you’re reading this you’re a fucking nerd”
Irene being a dominatrix in BBC Sherlock pisses me off for so many reasons, not the least of which being that there was so much wasted potential!! What would the modern day equivalent of an opera singer be? She could have been a pop star! She could have been the front woman of a devastating jazz ensemble! She could have been, you know, an OPERA SINGER!!! Cause crazy enough, we still have those. Anyway comment what you think modern day Irene should have been
Hello, tumblr user. Before you is a tumblr post asking you to name a female fictional character. You have unlimited time to tag a female character, NOT a male one.
Begin.
Damn, I love Death’s facial expressions here… Even he didn’t want it to happen…
My very delayed response to Terry Pratchett’s death a few weeks back. Not going to lie, it wrecked me. I wanted to make something right away but had no idea what would be appropriate, and kept running out of free time.
I feel like everything I have to say about him and his work and world has already been said a million times over, I don’t have a lot to add to it. I’ve yet to read all of Discworld, and at this point I’m probably going to purposely drag my feet just to delay the end as long as possible. GNU Terry Pratchett
Something I find incredibly cool is that they’ve found neandertal bone tools made from polished rib bones, and they couldn’t figure out what they were for for the life of them.
Until, of course, they showed it to a traditional leatherworker and she took one look at it and said “Oh yeah sure that’s a leather burnisher, you use it to close the pores of leather and work oil into the hide to make it waterproof. Mine looks just the same.”
“Wait you’re still using the exact same fucking thing 50,000 years later???”
“Well, yeah. We’ve tried other things. Metal scratches up and damages the hide. Wood splinters and wears out. Bone lasts forever and gives the best polish. There are new, cheaper plastic ones, but they crack and break after a couple years. A bone polisher is nearly indestructible, and only gets better with age. The more you use a bone polisher the better it works.”
It’s just.
50,000 years. 50,000. And over that huge arc of time, we’ve been quietly using the exact same thing, unchanged, because we simply haven’t found anything better to do the job.
10 years on...
This photo is so him. He was my author. He was my friend. Like all of you, I miss him everyday. Thank you for keeping the ripples going.
not even in a sexual way but i’m just craving affection because i feel like crap i just want someone to hug me for a couple of hours and tell me i’m going to be okay
stuff they actually let happen on Star Wars: The Clone Wars
Godzilla tried to eat Chancellor Palpatine
Darth Maul came back from the dead as a crime boss with robot legs and had a giant angry brother named Savage
Jabba the Hutt’s uncle was an offensive gay stereotype
Palpatine had a gigantic forehead for literally no reason
Zombie episode
They named a Jedi “I’m Gonna Die” and then killed him
Some senator had a sex robot
All the Twi’leks had French accents
Ahsoka got hunted for sport
Anakin had to do elaborate BDSM roleplay with an evil cat lady
Dooku was almost murdered by the Macbeth witches
Hondo Ohnaka
Yoda made contact with Qui-Gon Jinn’s ghost but the other Jedi just thought he had dementia
0.07 seconds after leaving the Jedi Order, Ahsoka crashed her motorcycle, got a girlfriend, and ended up smuggling drugs for the mob
Anakin and Obi-Wan met the physical incarnations of the Dark and Light Sides of the Force and they looked like a goth drama queen and his cottagecore sister and both of them were furries
Ahsoka got bit by an evil rat which made her evil for awhile
Jar Jar killed a guy