🌽💚💛🌽

dealing with the worst case scenario

your condom breaks

you feel a lump on your breast

your friends are ignoring you

you’re stranded on an island 

you got rejected by a crush

you get into a car accident

you got stung by a bee/wasp

you got fired from your job

you’re in an earthquake

your tattoo gets infected

your house is on fire

you’re lost in the woods

you get arrested abroad

you get robbed

your partner cheated on you

you’re on a ship that’s sinking

you fall into ice

you’re stuck in an elevator

you hit a deer with your car

you have food poisoning

your pet passed away

you fall off of a horse

you or your friend has alcohol poisoning

you have toxic shock syndrome

your house has a gas leak

😳

I don't fuck w nerds, the moment I can smell lore correction coming I'm like "Oh Neptune" and I gotta call my mom and ask her to pick me up

If I'm like "I really liked the scene where Gandalf learns the truth about the Ring in the first movie" and someone's like "Oh you mean when he was in Minas Tirith, originally known as Minas Anor when it was first built in the Third Age?" I am pulling the nearest fire alarm

what is the truth

i have so many hobbies and interests but each day the four horsemen (instant gratification, shortened attention span, procrastination, exhaustion) grab me by the throat and shake me until i collapse in my comfy bed

Just once, I want the hero to go “your wife/sister/mother/whatever would not have wanted this!”, and the villain to go, “actually, we talked about this a lot. She was really into vigilante justice and eye for an eye stuff. She always said, if something like this happens, avenge me.”

I think people who consider aromanticism as "basically straight" underestimate how noticeable absence can be to those around you.

Whether you're a kid in school with classmates who won't take "no one" as an answer to who you have a crush on or an adult whose coworkers have picked up on the fact that you've never mentioned a romantic partner; after enough time, a lack or insufficient amount of romantic interest will raise the antennae of friends, family, coworkers, etc... They will notice and they will speculate and they will ask.

It is impossible to meet the societal bar for straightness through inaction.

Fantasy Guide to Hosting a High Society Dinner Party

In every period piece, the rich, the noble and the Royal often gather for an exquisite meal where etiquette reigns supreme. The intricacies of these high society dinners are complex, one foot out of line and you risk offending your guests. So how can we write them?

Place Settings

Perhaps the most complex part of a dinner is how the silverware, plates and glasses are arranged on the table. First the table is laid with a wool cloth to keep the white tablecloth in place. The tablecloth has to hang midway between the floor and the table. Every course has to have its own set of silverware, every course must have its own glass for the wine being served. Napkins are usually of linen, cut about twenty-four to twenty-six inches. Most tables would have centrepieces either of candelabras or flowers. This would be undertaken by the footmen under the eye of the butler.

Seating

Table seatings are just as important as anything for a dinner as it marks rank. The head of the house sits at the head of the table. The guest of honor sits next to the head and if they have a guest, say a friend, they sit on the other side of the head of the household. A spouse of the female guest will sit to the left of the host and the spouse of the male guest at the left of the hostess. Important guests are seated near the host or hostess. Other guests at the table are arranged by interests, usually near people they can speak with. Married or engaged guest generally do not sit with one another. Most dinners are arranged in a man-woman arrangement. Most dinners, especially formal ones, would have assigned seating.

Serving

In the dinning room, there are usually a collection of footmen and the butler to serve. The butler selects and pours each wine for the courses served. He serves the host first, working clockwise around the table with each footmen carrying either the sides, accompanying sauce or the meat/fish itself. In very formal settings, every guest may have their own footman to cater their needs. While waiting at table, the servants don't talk to the guests unless asked a direct question they must avoid avoid eye contact and offer the plate to the appropriate height so the guest can easily serve themselves. All footmen and the butler must wear white gloves while serving.

Timeline

Before dinner, guests gather in the salon or drawing room to have a drink and get settled before hand. Some houses served cocktails during this time. When dinner is announced, the guests will make their way into dining room with the men escorting the ladies they are seated with, following after the host in order of precedent. Most formal dinners had multiple courses, sometimes as much as twenty or so. After dinner, the ladies would leave the men to their drink and cigars while they take coffee in one of the drawing rooms. They would reunite after for some light conversation and entertainment.

Drink

There are strict rules involving drink. Most courses would have their own wine. White wine is served with the fish, red wine with the meat, and champagne or sherry with dessert. Port, coffee and other drinks such as curaçao would be served after supper. Wine would have had to be strained for sediment by the butler beforehand and decanted once opened.

Dining Etiquette

There are numerous rules to follow when is dining at a formal dinner right down to leaving the table or what you wear.

One doesn't sit until the hostess has been seated, the guests wait behind their chairs until she sits.

Men would pull out the chair for the lady to their right. Hands should remain off the table when not in use they should be ones lap.

Napkins are placed on one's lap but only after the host/hostess does, with the fold tucked at the waist.

As for silverware, one begins with the outermost pieces and work your way in for each course.

One only begins eating or drink when the host does. When the host/hostess stops eating, placing their silverware on the plate at the 10:20 position, everyone must stop eating.

When a lady rises, the men near her are expected to stand, pulling out her chair and pulling it in when she returns.

When being served, one is not expected to thank the servants.

When at a formal dinner, men would wear their whites and tails. At a less formal dinner, men would wear dinner jackets.

Married ladies would wear tiaras at formal suppers and all ladies wore gloves, removing them while eating.