- Neil Josten’s Drag Of The Century, Chapter 6, The Raven King

░  ┊   @hcathens​  。• ◞ 

— ” true. no one here can keep up with me, i’m aware. but you can work harder than this, josten, and if you don’t stop whining and just focus, you’ll never getting better. “ —   replied, but a quiet voice in his mind - his conscience, maybe? -  reminded him that he already had lost track of time. for how long were they training?? it doesn’t matter. he needed to be sure that they could win.

    for  once ,    he  appreciates  the  floor  under  his  weight;   legs  stretched  yet  body  unresponsive  to  whatever  the  mind  attempts  setting  on ...    what ,   with  shoulders  hunched  and  arms  laying  low ,   his  hands  resting  in  the  gap  between  his  lower  limbs.    the  only  reason  that  neil  is  becoming  aware  of  his  limitations  is  when  numbness  begins  to  settle  along  with  slight  tremors  that  he  can  feel  in  his  fingers. 

    the  way  that  a  thousands’  worth  of  exy  racquet  slipping  through  his  grip  during  the  recent  drill  several  minutes  ago  is  a  tall  tell.  

                                          ‟     I’m  trying.     ❜          voice  strained ,   holding  back  frustrations  veiled  in  the  exhaustion  creeping  in  his  system ,   and  avoiding  having  another  tiring  same  old  arguments  with  kevin.    of  course  there’s  no  time  for  neil  to  sit  on  his  ass  because  the  games  aren’t  going  to  win  by  themselves;   but  ——                    ‟     You  don’t  need  to  remind  me  about  the  nooses  around  our  necks.     ❜

    it  hurts ...    but  nothing  worse  that  he  hasn’t  survived  before.    the  anger  dissipates  under  the  silent  acceptance  and  grumbling  under  his  breath ,    annoyed  that  as  when  he  stands  up ,    the  redhead  has  to  hold  onto  his  knees  for  a  while  before  straightening  up.    wincing  slightly ,   frowning  greatly  at  the  disappointment  he  received  when  he  moves  his  right  shoulder  in  a  circular  motion.    testing ,   testing.

                                         ‟     ...Let’s go.     ❜ 

EDITABLE REBLOGS NOT WORKING?  WORRY NOT!

so my editable reblogs finally broke.  after doing some 2am digging,  coming up with a redundant solution,  making an  ENTIRE TUTORIAL  for said redundant solution,  and realizing it’s useless,  i’ve got the answer to the problem for everyone.  i’ve joined the xkit support discord server,  and here is what’s been said about the issue so far:

TLDR;  EDITABLE REBLOGS WON’T WORK ON ORIGINAL POSTS,  BUT IT’LL WORK ON REBLOGS WITH REPLIES.  meaning if jane posts a starter and june replies to it  without using editable reblogs,  it’ll create this trail item.  so from then on out,  you can feel free to use xkit’s extension to your heart’s content.

so if you’re getting this issue,  the solution is simple:  DON’T USE XKIT ON THE FIRST REPLY.  yes,  it’ll be ugly,  but everything will be back to normal from there :)

so,   i’m  required  to  work  full  time  starting  this  week  19.04.2020  until  i  don’t  know  when  and  which  is  why  i  am  clarifying  that  i  am  always  of  low  &  sporadic  activity.   as  usual,  replies  and  ask  responses  will  be  queued,  and  you  can  still  dm  me  here  though  i’m  more  active  at  discord  (just ask me).   additionally,  matt  is  active  in  wire  @mattmrdck_  so  come  talk  to  him  there  in  real  time  (if  i’m  not  passing  out  lmao).    thank  you  for  being  understanding  and  awesome  in  these  difficult  times.

a sudden sense of yearning for what should’ve been just another kid

i  literally  talked  about  andreil  rights  in  two  hours  to  drag  my  friend  into  aftg  hell  with  me  last  night,  and  guess  what,   i  might  finally  finish  this  cursed  josten  blog.

god  is  a  woman  and  her  name  is  renee  walker.

░  ┊   @gcroinya​  。• ◞ 

@jozthen​ said:  it’s nothing. it’s just a bruise.

Inquisitive gaze lingers,  scolding and relentless.   One that wordlessly whispers  ‘should’ve known better’  every chance it gets.   Words are not needed,  her expression says it all and,  really,  is there something left to say but at all?   Sometimes a bruise is just a bruise,  god knows she had her fair share of those marking every inch of pale skin;  like a map of violence,  only there was never any treasure to find. 

“Listen,  kid,  you might have charm,  but your right hook is abysmal.”     She holds nothing back,  rarely does.   Not that bite that drips form her words,  not that grin that tugs at the corners of her mouth.   Learning how to defend oneself is vital,  at least in her books,  and that will be the topic she settles on.   Not the bruise,  pale and blue,  not the implication that it carries.

Water drips down her wrist from the bag of ice she’s holding.   They ran out of ice-packs long long time ago,  so a couple of cubes wrapped in a towel will have to do.   It’s a gesture that counts,  is it not?     “Maybe we should work on that next time.”

                        miscellaneous angst starters.  || not accepting

    he  is  not  built  to  stand  his  ground   —— his  mother  made  sure  of  that.    better  to  outrun  the  nightmares  than  getting  caught  back  up  in  them.    so    natha - -    neil  learns  to  bite  back  complaints ,   or   ‘ whining ’   as  mary  would’ve  placed  it  if  she  were  still  alive ,   from  the  other  person  who  at  least  gave  a  shit  in  giving  him  a  fighting  chance.    literally.

                                    ‟     What about the left ?   Fared better ?     ❜          the  brunet  reaches  for  the  damp  compress;   iciness  begin  to  numb  fingers  that  clenched  tighter  and  hurt  less  than  the  pain  they  have  to  endure  against  the  californian  sand.    carefully  situating  the  wet  bag  against  his  left  cheek ,   liking  how  the  cold  dissipates  heat  and  relieves  him ...   before  placing  it  on  his  right  side  to  hold  it  there.    the  boy  shifts  slowly  and  checks  which  is  movable  and  which  is  tolerable ,   assessing  damage.

    looking  up  from  the  floor  he  sits  on ,   observing  the  other  of  unknown  origins.    how  she  didn’t  mince  anything  with  neil ,   like  his  mother  did ,   and  how  he  tries  to  hold  back  the  fear  slowly  creeping  in  his  chest.    as  much  as  he  has  respect  in  females ,   he  thinks  how  terrifying  it  would  be  if  they  met  before  within  his  father’s  business  circles  and  that  neil  couldn’t  remember;   how  this  woman  could’ve  had  a  hand  in  teaching  him ,    just  like  his  father  instructed  lola  to  teach  him.    he  frowns  and  ignores  the  awful  turning  of  his  guts  inside.

                                  ‟     I don’t know why ...   you’re doing this.     ❜          neil  begins  with  a  cautious  tone ,   choosing  wise  words  that  won’t  offend  the  lady.    why  now ,   of  all  times ,   did  a  beacon  appear  when  he’s  almost  tipped  to  the  edge ,   ready  to  give  up ?          ‟     What do you get out of it ?     ❜     

░  ┊   @scarfwere​​  。• ◞

nonchalant compliance, he figured was as good as anything. It was still different from a flat out rejection. He’d had plenty of those. And even through the obvious indifference in the other boy, Isaac found an excuse to smile. To cound this moment, however small, as one of the rare wins he could have in the year. He was right after all ─ new kids didn’t last very long here. And if he was smart, it would be better to cut his losses now and move on.

Obviously, he wasn’t.

He figured, it would be some nice change, at the least. To know there was one other person at school that didn’t mind if he sat beside them or not.

Fingers combed through his curly hair; trying to unravel the right words to make what he thinks make sense without it being creepy. Maybe Stefan would understand. Maybe even he felt it too. That knowing feeling of standing in front of the same mirror reflecting the same thing. But he bit his tongue and swallowed it.

Shrugging instead.

          “ Dunno. Maybe I just like you. “

Even after he said it, he wasn’t sure if that was worse or better. But at least it was slightly true.

  𝗡𝗢𝗡𝗖𝗛𝗔𝗟𝗔𝗡𝗧 𝗪𝗢𝗥𝗗𝗦  thrown  out  and  about ,   strung  with  indifference  towards  the  creeping  anxiety  that  slides  upwards  within  stefan’s  chest ;   one  step  closer  to  choking  him  from  the  confusion  and  fear  muddled  in  the  back  of  his  throat.    ‘ maybe ’   pertains  to  uncertainty ,   one  he  hates  and  accustomed  to ,   while   ' like ’   associates  with  the  blooms  ‘pon  cheek  and  wrath  faced  in  weeks.

    obviously,  this  is  going  to  be  a   𝗕𝗔𝗗 𝗜𝗗𝗘𝗔 .

          ‟     ͏𝗜 𝗱𝗼𝗻'𝘁 𝗰𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗮𝗯𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁.      ❜      straightforward  without  eyes  looking  straight  forward ,   body  tensing  uncontrollably  as  he  crosses  his  arms;   his  figure  as  if  embracing  himself  from  an  unexpected  hostile  attack.  there  persists  bitterness  in  the  pit  of  his  stomach ,   annoyed  how  isaac  can  just  say  whatever  he  wants  without  repercussions  while  stefan  won’t ――   can  never.    ‘ i don’t get it ’  - -   are  the  words  stuck  with  tongue  held  back  and  instead  had  to  give  a  response  so  uncaring ,  but  then  again ,   stefan  is  supposed  to  be  𝗗𝗘𝗙𝗘𝗔𝗧𝗘𝗗 ,  𝗣𝗔𝗦𝗦𝗜𝗩𝗘  ,  𝗡𝗨𝗠𝗕 ...    a  boy  whose  way  too  different  from     nathaniel.       (   or  maybe  they’re  not  so  different,   after  all;  sporting  similar  bruises,  broken  bones  and  patches  of  skin  healed  and  cut  all  over.  )

       ‟     ͏ ――  𝗜 𝗱𝗼𝗻'𝘁 ... 𝗜 𝗱𝗼𝗻'𝘁 𝘂𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗿𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗻𝗼𝗿 𝗜 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗸 𝗜 𝘄𝗶𝗹𝗹. 𝗕𝘂𝘁 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗜 𝗸𝗻𝗼𝘄 𝗶𝘀 𝘆𝗼𝘂'𝗹𝗹 𝗯𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳 𝘀𝗼𝗼𝗻𝗲𝗿 𝗼𝗿 𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝗮𝗻𝘆𝘄𝗮𝘆.    ❜  

fuck  it,  i  made  neil  a  wire  account.

perth  is  experiencing  a  once  in  a  decade  storm  this  sunday  til  tomorrow  so  i  just  slept  since  i  still  have  upset  stomach.   anyway,   time  to  write  stuff  here.