Okay Kallus Accidentally Becoming The Rebellion's Version Of B Dylan Hollis Has Officially Taken Over

Okay Kallus accidentally becoming the Rebellion's version of B Dylan Hollis has officially taken over my brain again, so I'm going to make that everyone else's problem

Between growing up in the lower levels of Cosuscant and then immediately joining the military as soon as he was old enough, Kallus never learned how to cook

Once the Ghost crew finds this out, it becomes a point of light ribbing and they tease him about it, especially Sabine

Sabine finds a terrible vintage cookbook and gives it to Kallus as a gag gift to keep on his ship when he's out on missions and "maybe eventually learn to cook like a real adult"

Kallus rolls his eyes and tells her to kriff off, appreciating the gesture for the joke it is

Except then he has a particularly slow mission. And he's bored. And that book is sitting in the small kitchen of his ship

The first video is an absolute fucking DISASTER. Kallus doesn't know how any part of cooking works and a lot of the video is just him confused and then spitting out the absolute monstrosity he ends up making in disgust

He sends this video to Sabine, who thinks it's absolutely fucking hilarious and immediately demands more

It quickly becomes a thing. In between missions or on missions where he has more downtime, Kallus will pick some terrible sounding recipe and try to make it, filming the process and sending it to Sabine. Some of them turn out decent, some of them turn out terribly, and all of them are hilarious

And over time, Kallus' cooking and baking skills do actually improve. Some of the recipes are still disgusting and terrible, but he actually sort of knows what he's doing now and more than that, he's having fun

He starts getting actual decent cooking equipment to keep on his ship and looks for vintage cook books while in different space ports. It's been a long time since Kallus was able to engage so unabashedly in a hobby that he genuinely enjoys, and it's like discovering a part of himself that he'd almost forgotten existed

Meanwhile, Sabine has started sharing the videos with the rest of the crew, which is perfectly fine

Until Ezra shares one of them with one of the dock guys

Who shares it with one of his friends

Etc. Etc. Etc.

It doesn't take long before videos of him cooking are circulating through the Rebellion and everyone LOVES them

Except no one outside of the Ghost crew actually realizes it's Kallus

Between his physical appearance changing somewhat since defecting and the massive difference in demeanor and mannerisms compared to how he normally acts, no one even really considers that the funny gay cooking guy is Alexsandr "Resting Bitch Face is my Superpower" Kallus

Until, in the middle of a particularly contentious briefing, Kallus accidentally says "honey, you can't dilute a war crime"

Absolute chaos ensues