kimaixun

Latest Posts by kimaixun

How to Write a Character Who Feels Like Throwing Up

When fear, dread, or guilt gets sickening—literally—your character is consumed with a gut-clenching feeling that something is very, very wrong. Here's how to write that emotion using more than the classic "bile rose to the back of their throat".

Start with the Stomach

This isn’t just about discomfort. It’s about a complete rebellion happening inside their body.

Their stomach twists like a knot that keeps pulling tighter

A cold sweat beads on their neck, their palms, their spine

Their insides feel sludgy, like everything they’ve eaten is suddenly unwelcome

They double over, not from pain, but because sitting still feels impossible

Add Sensory Overload

Vomiting isn’t just a stomach reaction—it’s the whole body.

Their mouth goes dry, and then too wet

Their jaw tightens, trying to contain it

A sudden heat blooms in their chest and face, overwhelming

The back of their throat burns—not bile, but the threat of it

Breathing becomes a conscious effort: in, out, shallow, sharp

Emotional Triggers

Nausea doesn’t always need a physical cause. Tie it to emotion for more impact:

Fear: The kind that’s silent and wide-eyed. They’re frozen, too sick to speak.

Guilt: Their hands are cold, but their face is flushed. Every memory plays like a film reel behind their eyes.

Shock: Something just snapped inside. Their body registered it before their brain did.

Ground It in Action

Don’t just describe the nausea—show them reacting to it.

They press a fist to their mouth, pretending it’s a cough

Their knees weaken, and they lean on a wall, pretending it’s just fatigue

They excuse themselves quietly, then collapse in a bathroom stall

They swallow, again and again, like that’ll keep everything down

Let the Consequences Linger

Even if they don’t actually throw up, the aftermath sticks.

A sour taste that won’t leave their mouth.

A pulsing headache

A body that feels hollowed out, shaky, untrustworthy

The shame of nearly losing control in front of someone else

Let Them Be Human

A character feeling like vomiting is vulnerable. It's real. It’s raw. It means they’re overwhelmed in a way they can’t hide. And that makes them relatable. You don’t need melodrama—you need truth. Capture that moment where the world spins, and they don’t know if it’s panic or flu or fear, but all they want is to get out of their own body for a second.

Don't just write the bile. Write the breakdown.

Trapped - Evan Buckley x reader

Evan Buckley is distracted. He can't feel anything, and that's probably a bad thing, considering he is being crushed by a block of cement, but that's not really registering in his brain right now. His focus remains on you, a few meters away and in a similar situation. The underground carpark is dark, and the level above has caved in, leaving you both trapped under the broken pieces. Buck can taste his blood on his lips. It's sharp and metallic, but right now, the only blood he's worried about is yours. "Hey, can you hear me?" He calls out to you and gets nothing in return. He calls your name once, twice, and again, he's met with silence. It's the worst kind of quiet. The horrific kind where you're left to wonder if you're alone.

Buck pushes against the slab that is holding him down and tries to pull himself out from underneath it with an agonizing cry. His scream of pain as he tries to get to you is enough to stun you awake from whatever hard hits you took, and you groan as the weight of your situation, and the pillar of concrete on top of you, settles in.

"Hey, hey, are you awake? Are you still with me?" It's Buck, stilling his movements at the sound of you across from him.

You close your eyes, trying to keep out the dust and debris, nodding. "Yeah, I'm with you, Buckley."

"Oh, thank God, I thought you were dead." He's abrupt, but it adds a sort of humor to the horrifying situation you're in.

"Not quite there yet, though it looks under we are six feet under something."

You can't move much other than your arms, and that isn't the most ideal situation to be in. Buck, on the other hand, seems to have found a superhuman energy, as he tries once more to push away the things holding him down. He cries out, and you wince at the sound, though you do hope someone else can hear it.

"Can anyone hear us? We're down here!" You shout, though it's not as loud as you would have hoped it to be. Buck joins you seconds later, calling out the names of your team members.

"Bobby!" Buck's voice carries far more than yours and you're grateful for it as the pain starts to set in. It gets harder to catch your breath as the seconds pass.

"How bad is it?" You can't help but ask, nodding faintly towards what lies on top of you.

Buck looks over, and his chest aches as he assesses the damage, though he isn't sure yet if that's just out of empathy for you or something untreated of his own. He can't bring himself to respond as he takes in the sight of you pinned underneath something so large and seemingly unmoveable. He can see blood seeping out from underneath the pillar, where your legs are probably not in good shape.

"It's not great, is it?" You try for a smile, but the tears falling down your dust covered face tell a different story to your lips.

"It's not as bad as it could be." Buck tries for an optimistic approach, one that he hopes will make you feel better.

"How bad am I?" He asks you in return, though he knows the extent of his injuries won't match yours.

You make an attempt at coughing, wincing at the struggled movement before you answer. "It's not as bad as it could be." There's much more honesty to your version of the statement.

"You wanna try and get out of here?" Buck is grinning at you but the fear in his eyes can't be hidden by anything.

You nod at him. You know there's little hope for you, but you have to let him try. "Yeah, Buckley. Let's get out of here."

-

Reblogs and comments are appreciated!!

a story about a god and his soulmate

Full story is 40+ pgs long and free to read on my itch.io!

[One of those days] - [SKZ! Lee Know x M!Reader] ‼️[NSFW]‼️

Customers bustled in and out of the cafe you worked in. You let out a mute sigh as your hands skilfully made the cups of coffee lined up on the bar. You were running a full shift that day and the demands were high. You barely had time to stop for a breather but, you liked it. Time went by very fast and before you know it, you were moping the floor of the seating area, getting ready to close.

“Woah! Looks like we made 75% more than our targetted incentives! Thank you for you hard work M/N!” Your manager cheered behind the cashier giving you a thumbs up. Considering the size of the cafe you worked in, 75% was astounding.

You smiled, replying to him, “Thank you for your hard work too Hyung!”

You finished up mopping the floor and soon found yourself in the quiet street in front of the convenience store. You lit a cigarette, sighing in relief as you inhaled the cancerous substance you craved for the entire day. It had been a busy day indeed.

Ding

Your hands pulled out your phone from your pocket upon receiving the notification.

‘Lee Know Hyung’

You read the text again to confirm what it was saying and looked at the location sent with it. It was at least a 45 minutes ride but, if you were to ride on full speed, you would probably reach there within 25 minutes. You quickly geared up, and proceeded to the location. You weren’t gonna lie but knowing that his name pulled a string in your heart making anxiety arose was enough to make you speed through. The weather bled red as you ignore the pouring rain. You didn’t care that your skin pricked from the raindrops or the fact that you were soaked. Your main priority was to get to him. He needs you.

“Where is he?” You stormed into the house, leaving puddles of water behind you.

“Hyung! You’re here. That’s fast.” JiSung was the first to spot you, “you’re soaked!”

“I’m fine. Where is he?”

JiSung sighed, “third room to the left. He said he was fine but i know he isn’t. I tried comforting him but it didn’t help. I know you guys are on a break but he shouldn’t be alone so the rest suggested i text you.”

“Thank you,” You said, “I’ll figure something out.”

You waved ‘hi’ to the rest of the boys in the living room before making your way up the stairs ignoring the mess of puddles you left in your trail. You didn’t bother knocking on the door as you tiptoed inside, stripping yourself just at the entrance, leaving your soaked clothes there. You stepped into the room helping yourself to his opened luggage on the floor, you pulled out a sweatpants, putting it on before walking towards him. There he was, sitting on the window bay, knees tugged into his chest, head leaning against the window and as if he was a statue, he didn’t move one bit.

“Hey,” You whispered.

Lee Know didn’t acknowledge your presence but, it was nothing new to you. You squeeze yourself behind his frail, pulling him back into your chest. You plant a soft kiss on the top of his head as his tensed body slowly relaxes, sinking into your embrace.

“What do you need today? Food? Coffee? Boba? Ice cream? Chinese takeout? Or should I get you wrapped in a blanket roll and you can just stay warm and we can watch a movie? Or do you want bubble bath? I saw the bath bomb in your luggage, we can use it. What ab—,” you were cut off when he shifted, breaking out of your hold. You shivered at the loss of heat.

“You’re like an Iceland. You’re freezing. Where were you from?"

"Work." You simply replied as you pull him back into your embrace, warming up almost instantly at how warm he is, “wanna talk about it?”

Lee Know let out a soft sigh before leaning his head at the crook of your neck, his fingers find their way to yours and he lazily intertwined them, “it’s just one of those days. We were watching our debut survival show and it just kind of hit the trigger to everything. What would have happen if I wasn’t called back that day? Where would i be now? Would i have kept in touch with the others or would i have come to meet you?”

You hummed in acknowledgement as you gently scooped him off the window bay and laid him onto the bed, You slide under the covers with him, wrapping an arm securely around his waist and his head rested on your other arm. “Everything happens for a reason,”

“I know but it sucks,” Lee Know nudges his head gently to your chest, “having one of those days really sucks.”

“Yeah it does.” You acknowledged.

“I…I’m sorry.” You heard a sniffle but, you didn’t bother looking at his face. Instead, you pulled him closer to your chest, feeling his tears wet them, “I’m so sorry. I hurt you. I couldn’t do it. I don’t want to take a break from us. I can’t do it.”

You smiled, planting a kiss at the top of his head, “you know what? I can barely remember why we initiated a break or even had a fight in the first place.”

He sniffled, “M/N, you know that it was b—,”

You quickly cut him off, shushing him, “sshhh of course i know the reason dumb dumb but i love you so whatever it is, everything is in the past and we’re moving forward.”

“I love you M/N,” another wave of tears cascaded down his cheeks as he looked up to you.

You were indeed on a relationship break prior to where you were now. A few weeks ago, you decided to drop by JYP building with the intention of surprising him. Lee Know have had a very busy week thus, it had been days since the two of you saw each other, not to mention the lack of calls and texts too. Being such an amazing boyfriend, you had bought takeouts from Lee Know’s favourite restaurant, some snacks and also a bouquet of flowers, making your way to him. You were skipping in excitement, your smile widened at the fact that you were going to see your boyfriend and no words can explain how much you miss him. You stood outside the dance studio, bopping your head to the music and you patiently waited. For as long as you have known Lee Know, you know that he would’ve hated at anyone who interrupts a dance routine.

“It’s a wrap!” You heard the dance instructor announced.

You grinned and entered the studio, “SURPRISE!”

“M/N!”

“Hyung!”

“Aye mate!”

You received a chorus of replies from the members but your eyes only focused on Lee Know who didn’t acknowledge your presence. Instead, he looked mad.

“Hey baby, you’ve been busy and I’ve missed you.” You went over to him, “got some food and i got this specifically for you.” You held out the bouquet of flowers.

“You’re annoying!” Your eyes widened as Lee Know pushed you hard making you stumble a step back. The once rowdy dance studio instantly fell into silence. “Can’t you just leave me alone?! Why do you have to be here now?!”

“I missed you.” Your lips pressed together into a slight frown, “I knew you have had a tough busy week so i thought surprising would lift up your spirit even by a little.”

Lee Know sighed, running a hand through his locks, “but it isn’t! You being here just made my day even wor—-,”

“Stop.” You cut him off, “let’s take a second before you say anything that you might regret. You know what? Let’s take a break. Let’s take a break from us. I am not sure why or what had gotten you upset but if i really do annoy you that much, i apologise. We’ll take a break. Text me when you’re ready to talk it out.” You took one last look at Lee Know’s flushed face before leaving the studio. .

As you rushed out of the studio, you couldn’t help but let a couple of tears stream down your cheeks. Your heart ached, wrecking in agony but you held back a sob that threatened to leave your lips. You had no absolute certainty as to what you had done wrong and it was unfair but, you pushed all those negative thoughts to the back of your mind. It was probably one of those days. That had to be it.

“M/N, I’m sorry for hurting you, i truly am.” Your train of thoughts were broken by Lee Know’s voice.

You sniffed, flashing him a gentle smile, “it’s okay. We’re okay.” You assured planting light kisses on his forehead trailing off to his eyes, cheeks, jaws and landed on his lips. As you kiss him, you realise how chapped his lips were and that was enough to know that he hasn’t been doing well in taking care of himself. “Miss me much?” You teased as you break apart the kiss, sucking in a deep breath to catch your breath.

“Infinity.” Lee Know pouts and slams his lips against yours aggressively.

Soon, your hands travelled under his oversized shirt, gripping his thin waist. Lee Know gasped at the coldness of your touch, moaning as your hands slides under his sweatpants, grabbing his plump ass cheeks spreading them apart and Lee Know yelped out in surprise. You felt heat rush to your cheeks but, you quickly got back to your senses, retreated your hands from him.

“F—uck Hyung,” You breathed, “I’m so sorry i got too caught up and I’m advancing too fast and i d—,”

Lee Know giggled, cupping his warm hands on your cheeks, “I’m okay. We can go on.”

“Are you sure? Do you have any schedule tomorrow?”

“No schedule for tomorrow. We’re good.” He smiled.

You smirked, grasping his plump ass again, this time, manoeuvring him so that he sits on you, “good. I intend to fuck you so much that you won’t walk tomorrow.”

The body began to heat up as the adrenaline rushes through as you ran your hand on his body, remembering his sensitive intimate parts. You kissed, tongue fighting for dominance and his hands grips a chunk of your (h/c) locks, moaning as you slid his pants off and somehow yours off too. You gently put your fingers into his mouth demanding the latter to suck them. Obediently, he did, sucking and deep throating your fingers. You were even more turned on looking at his panting, drooling face as his eyes rolls back. You grab the back of his neck, pulling him into another deep chaste kiss as your moist fingers lingers around his hole.

“One.” You said and you pushed a finger into the ring of muscle. You begin moving your finger in and out of him. “Two.” You insert another finger into him and this time, you could feel his muscle tense over it, “relax baby.” You plant soft kisses down his neck to his shoulders leaving a definite marks.

“M/N—- ugh—fuck,” Lee Know moaned as you scissors him with a touch of roughness, hitting his sweet spot with precision, “I’m go—nna c—um.”

You smirked, adding another finger, stretching him further and he lets out a cry, gripping your hair as he feels the pleasure pain electrocuting him. “Three.”

“Cl—-ose, I’m so c—lose,” Lee Know’s body spasm as he reaches his high, cumming onto your stomach.

“That’s round one baby,” You licked your lips, “we’re just getting started.” You flipped the both of you so he was on all fours, you pushed his upper body down to the pillow. His plump ass lifted in the air, helplessly squirming, seducing you.

It was safe to say that M/N was in huge trouble and was constantly struggling to keep his raging dick from taking control, slamming itself into Lee Know mercilessly, pounding him hard and filling him to the brim. Your strong hand pressed on the back of Lee Know’s neck, holding him in place while your other hand positions your pulsing dick on his hold. You couldn’t help it so you slammed yourself hard into Lee Know in one swift motion. A soft groan left your lips feeling the tightness of him, the pleasure taking over the pain of how tight he was. You were sure if you were to move one inch, Lee Know would bleed.

“Baby, relax.” You coaxed. You could see tears began to trail down Lee Know’s cheeks, eliciting a soft sob from his lips. You leaned forward, planting kisses on the back of his shoulder. “You’re gonna tear us up if you don’t.” You gently wipe away

“H—uge, you’re too huge,” Lee Know hiccuped as he somehow manages to grasp your hand tightly. He was trembling. “You’re gonna pierce through me.” He took your hand putting it on his lower stomach and you smirked when you feel the bulge. He wasn’t lying that you were piercing him. “Slowly, please.” He cries and you got even turned on by that, “M/N! Why are you getting bigger?!”

You sighed and kisses his cheek, “I’m sorry baby. I can’t help it.” You lost control. You pull yourself out and slam back into him roughly. His moans and cries ignited the rooms, symphony to your ears as you relentlessly pounded deep and hard into him.

"Please..." Lee Know voice voice trembled, "Slow—wer, t-oo m—uch," His plea grew more urgent, his desperation palpable. "O-Oh, please, please, please, I’m so close! M/N! Pleaseeee,”

“Fuck-I’m close too- gonna pull out soon baby, just a little more.”

"No!" Lee Know’s response was vehement. "In—inside me. F—feel you.”

You chuckled lowly as your thrust intensified. Your hand find itself to Lee Know’s neglected member and with forceful yet gentle stroke, Lee Know cries out, climax overtaking him as his body responded intensely.

“There we go baby. You look so good baby.” You thrusted deep into him. Lee Know’s body arched and he released himself, splattering across the bedsheet. You groaned as you feel him clench around you violently. Your own pleasure was building to an inevitable peak and you gritted your teeth, intensifying your thrusts until the moment of release arrived. With one forceful thrust, you released yourself into him.

You gently turned Lee Know, still buried deep in him, “I’m sorry if i pushed too far. Was i too rough on you?” You softly asked as you press a kiss against his cheek and temple, wiping away the tears.

Lee Know weakly lifted his head, locking his lips onto yours. He lets out a soft moan, “it was perfect. I’ve missed you.”

You smiled, “I’m still not done you know.”

“I know, i can literally feel you grow inside of me now.” Lee Know giggled, “how about vanilla sex this time round.”

“Anything you want baby.” You kissed him. “It’s just one of those days.”

“It sure is. One of those days.” Lee Know let out a contented sigh as he links his arms behind your shoulders, kissing your cheeks.

One of those days, indeed.

Masterlist

Victor | he/him | 21

about me + request rules

requests are open! taglist and emoji anons are open as well <3

taglist:

@forever-atiny

emoji anons: 🌵

all pictures used in my works are from pinterest. credits to the owners.

all dividers in all my fics by the talented @cafekitsune

my darling moots <33:

@oimitocat @hw4-l1z @leezanetheofficial @theo4eve

@james-is-here @1leeknower @leeyasuojihan

@fuck-i-lost-my-gender @caffeinatedgenius

@straykids-2001 @kimaixun @yongbokkk

@dope--lovers @chansslvr @hynzsn @xavi-in-kpopland

@stickymusictale @ho3central @jaemmphilia

@unbashedalpacatheorist @gentkei @luvkyu

@acidangel-fromasia @lucianidealz

key:

smut - s

fluff - f

angst - a

suggestive - m

smau - smau

random/ crack - c

platonic-p

thoughts-☾

recent:

In sickness and in health

skz thirsting over you (hyung line ver.)

skz thirsting over you (maknae line ver.)

Stray Kids OT8

OT8 reaction to intimidating male reader (f,m)

Life Over Death (a,f,p)

YOU WHAT??? (p,c)

I'm Sorry (a,p)

skz thirsting over you (hyung line ver.)(m,c,f)

skz thirsting over you (maknae line ver.)(m,c,f)

Bang Chan

Late Nights (s)

Mother Hen (p,f)

Lee Know

Scars (a,f)

Serenade (f)

Kitty cat (f,c)

Academic Validation (a,f)

untitled.(a)

Pretty Lady(s,f)

Scream(s)

One Last Time(a)

In sickness and in health(a,f)

Seo Changbin

Panic Attack (a,f)

Hwang Hyunjin

Missed You (f,s)

sunshine artist!hyunjin x grumpy writer!reader ☾(f)

model☾(m)

Han Jisung

Just a Joke? (a,f)

OMG (f,smau)

Barely there (a,f)

Lee Felix

That's obviously not what I meant (c,m,p)

Kim Seungmin

I don't know (a,p)

Yang Jeongin

"Shh"(s)

☆ THE PLAYHOUSE

# you can find all of my fics & drabbles here. some works contain dark content and sensitive themes. please read the tags before proceeding. all top!reader. special events: kinktober ‘24!

ONE PIECE

monkey d. luffy

eat you up: you find out about your perverted captain's love for your huge size.

roronoa zoro

need you: a drunk, needy zoro seduces you into fucking him.

how to break a monster: cock so big it got his stomach bulgin'!

hungry work: you're hungry for him, in more ways than one.

backyard bunny (kinktober): guess he's your bunny now.

vinsmoke sanji

i want more!: you eat the brattiness out of his sore pussy.

pervert! sanji (drabble): you catch him masturbating to your underwear.

portgas d. ace

make me feel good: he wants to make you feel good. you'll gladly return the favour. ftm! reader.

trafalgar d. water law

burn, baby, burn: omega! law goes into heat after catching a whiff of your scent - it's up to you to satisfy him now.

let my fingers do the talking: fingering his pussy in public.

trickle: you wake up to your pregnant mate riding you.

dracule mihawk

distraction: he needs a distraction. you're happy to give him one.

donquixote doflamingo

crime and punishment: he was your master, but now he's just your plaything.

the omega! series (mini thirsts)

omega! luffy omega! zoro omega! law: your needy, pathetic omega mates.

JUJUTSU KAISEN

gojo satoru

stranger! reader + afab! satoru series: somnophilia exhibitionism

hot demon b!tches near u!!! (kinktober): your roommates? more like your sluts.

nanami kento

fuck you like an animal (kinktober): you're a werewolf exposed to the full moon. and he's your mate.

geto suguru

hot demon b!tches near u!!! (kinktober): your roommates? more like your sluts.

toji fushiguro

gun play: you’re a mafia boss, and he’s a spy sent out to honey trap you.

ryomen sukuna

with my hands around your throat: he'll never admit it, but he likes it when you make him beg for your cock.

beast feast (kinktober): in another life, they only knew you as his guard dog. in this one, he's yours to own.

THIRSTS / DRABBLES

cunnilingus monsterfucking feminization baby fever riding

Changbin’s bicep be EXPLODING

© 🍠 | do not edit and/or crop logo

[It is what it is; Part Two] - [SKZ Bang Chan X M!Reader]

Part One

‼️Trigger Warning(s) : Bullied, Abuse, Rape, Depression, Suicidal‼️

“Are you still hanged up over it?” Seo ChangBin questions the red headed as he tried to secretly glance over his roommate who sat at the corner of the classroom. “If you’re gonna appear every single time we end a period, you’re labelling yourself as a creep. It’s been a week.”

It has been a week.

A week since that night where Bang Chan couldn’t forget the tiny little tint of hurt flashing across M/N’s eyes. He didn’t go after M/N when he left the restaurant but, as he sat back down, a sense of guilt ambushed him, stabbing his heart that the pain was almost physical. Why? Why did he feel that way? This shouldn’t be hurting him, this should only hurt M/N so why was he hurt? M/N didn’t come back that night and Bang Chan barely caught any sleep either. It was early in the morning the next day when Bang Chan heard the door of the dorm open and M/N came stumbling into the room, tipsy, stench in cigarettes and alcohol. Bang Chan got up to sit on his bed, his eyes observing every move of the latter who seems to ignore him indefinitely.

“M/N……I…. I can explain.” Bang Chan stammered.

M/N turned to him, his eyes glassy and unfocused, “It is what it is. You don’t need to waste your breath explaining and I don’t need to waste my time listening.”

That was all M/N said before dropping onto his bed, burying himself under his blanket. Bang Chan swore something in him cracked. Ever since then, neither of them shared any word or look even, at least not M/N. Bang Chan still stole glances over his roommate whilst M/N simply pretended as if Bang Chan was nothing but, a thin of air.

“Has M/N been different lately in class?”

ChangBin thought for a moment before shaking his head, “not really. He is still a quiet and reserved kid like he always was since forever.”

“T…That’s good i guess.”

ChangBin rolled his eyes, “seriously? Why are you so concerned about M/N?”

“I…I… I’m not concern about him, i….i just wanna see him suffer?” It came out as a question but for sure, ChangBin didn’t believe the latter.

ChangBin sighed and patted Bang Chan’s right shoulder, “I won’t judge if you end up caring about how he had felt you know. Besides, you did have to go through a lot just for a bet.”

At his words, Bang Chan winced. He did had to go through a lot to get to know M/N. He had to learn and study M/N deeply, taking notes of his liking and dislikes, his little pet peeves, etc. When M/N confessed to Bang Chan, there was no doubt that Bang Chan felt something, Bang Chan could feel the sincerity of M/N’s heart. Bang Chan had to do something to reconcile with M/N, or at least, get M/N to just look at him even for a minute and so the gifts came in. Bang Chan had left gifts with notes on M/N’s study table.

‘M/N, I bought you the cake you liked from the bakery nearby.’

‘M/N, I bought the puff you craved for before.’

‘M/N, i got this flowers cause it reminded me of you.’

‘M/N, look at this grumpy cat plush. It looks just like you.’

‘M/N, this was cute so i got it for you.’

‘M/N, the novel was going for sale at the bookstore so i thought of you.’

Bang Chan felt the ache in his heart looking at the untouched gifts on M/N’s table. It didn’t seem like M/N even care to look at them. This had been even worse than when Bang Chan had know him for the first time. The walls that Bang Chan had torn down previously was rebuilt with even more concrete security and to be frank, Bang Chan was losing hope.

Bang Chan dramatically plops onto the lunch table across ChangBin and whined, “he doesn’t even touch it, i doubt he even looked at it. I had to throw all the cake(s) and pastries that turned bad. Binnie, give me ideas please. I have to do something. I need to apologise to him.”

“You’re finally admitting that you don’t want to see him suffer?” ChangBin smirked. Bang Chan sighed in defeat and nodded to his words. “I mean, if the gifts aren’t working, perhaps do something more brazen? Like, just grab him and make him look at you and talk it out.”

“It could work, maybe?”

“Oh, by the way, have you heard about it?”

“About what?”

“It could be a rumour but proof has been circulating that M/N use to be a porn star. He was involved in a child pornography.” ChangBin said and Bang Chan gasped, “it’s sickening knowing that people are actually into it.”

“Please, tell me you’re joking.”

“I told you it could be a rumour. I haven’t seen it for myself.”

Bang Chan abruptly stood from his chair, taking his belongings before he rushes out of the cafeteria. Reality smacked him hard on the face. Just when he thought he knew M/N that well, there was still some untold secrets kept by him. Could this be the reason why M/N declared Bang Chan was his will to live? Could this be why M/N confessed that Bang Chan had saved him from himself? Could M/N have gone through severe depression because if the rumour had been true, it could tear down one’s soul? Now, Bang Chan felt even worse than before. The red headed find himself sprinting to his dorm room, barging into it. There, M/N sat on his bed with his phone in his hand.

“You,” Bang Chan took a deep breath, trying to calm the adrenaline from sprinting.

He locked the door to their dorm room, stomping towards M/N and he stood right in front of the latter who couldn’t care less to even look at him once.

“You…” Bang Chan breathed, “did you know that there are rumours going on that you were involve in a child pornography?” Bang Chan could see how M/N’s frail begin to tremble. “Is it true?” This time, M/N’s head dropped as if he was a child ashamed of being scolded. “M/N? Is it true that you were involved in a child pornography?”

“And so what?” Bang Chan breath hitched as soon as M/N spoke. It had been awhile since he last heard the latter talk and his voice still never failed to give shivers down his spine.

Bang Chan honestly didn’t expect himself to feel anger arise in him at M/N’s response, “so what?! You should’ve told me! You should’ve explain to me the reason why you’ve been telling me that i saved your life! I could’ve understood you better and—,”

“AND WHAT?!” It happened in a blink of an eye. M/N stood up, pushing Bang Chan hard that he had fell onto his bed, “SO YOU CAN TELL CHANGBIN AND YOUR GROUPS OF FRIENDS THAT I AM THE CHILD IN THAT PORNOGRAPHY? SO YOU CAN CONFIRM THE RUMOURS THAT HAVE BEEN CIRCULATING AROUND?! SO YOU CAN JOIN THE SENIORS WHO ARE INTENDING TO RAPE ME?” Raged was seen across M/N as he towers over Bang Chan, spit flying from his lips. In that moment of anger he'd said everything, whatever was most hurtful, whatever would give him the opportunity to relieve himself, “IF I HAD TOLD YOU EVERYTHING THAT HAD HAPPENED IN THE PAST, WHAT COULD YOU HAVE DONE? COULD YOU SAVE ME FROM BEING ADOPTED BY CRIMINALS? COULD YOU SAVE ME FROM BEING SOLD TO PEOPLE, TO HUMANS FOR THEIR PLEASURE? WOULD YOU UNDERSTAND THE TRAUMA AND SUFFOCATION I FELT? WOULD YOU UNDERSTAND ME IF I SAID THAT I HAD TO KILL PEOPLE BECAUSE ALL OF THEM RAPED ME AT ONCE? COULD YOU BE HYUNJIN HYUNG TO ME? COULD YOU BRING BACK HYUNJIN HYUNG TO ME? COULD YOU STOP ME FROM TRYING TO KILL MYSELF EVERY. SINGLE. FUCKING. NIGHT?”

Bang Chan felt his heart throbbed immensely at M/N’s words. The pain and despair he had made M/N felt was nothing compared to what M/N had been through.

“I LOVED YOU! I LOVED YOU CHRISTOPHER BANG! YOU CAME INTO MY LIFE LIKE A FUCKING ANGEL IN DISGUISE. FINALLY, I COULD BREATHE! I FOUND A WILL TO LIVE! I WAS ECSTATIC GENUINELY HAPPY TO BE WITH YOU. I WAS HOPING THAT ONE DAY WHEN WE GRADUATE, GET A JOB, GET A HOUSE TOGETHER, I WOULD MARRY YOU. I WOULD MAKE YOU THE HAPPIEST MAN ALIVE IN THIS WORLD! BUT NO! EVERYTHING WAS A FUCKING BET! EVERYTHING CAME CRUSHING DOWN ONCE AGAIN AND I WANTED TO DIE IF IT WASN’T FOR HYUNJIN HYUNG’S LAST WISH! I WANTED TO JUST JUMP OFF THE BRIDGE THE NIGHT I—,”

M/N stopped himself abruptly, his breath ragged from his outburst, tears streaming down his cheeks. He took a second to breathe, rethinking about that words he had retorted. M/N felt guilty. He shouldn’t have burst out to Bang Chan out of anger. He should’ve just ignored him like he had been for the past few weeks. He shouldn’t have made the impression that Bang Chan had made M/N think about suicide. No one was at fault but, him. M/N was at fault to even exist in the first place.

“M/N,” Bang Chan’s chest heaved with each sob, breath catching in irregular gasps. Tears streamed down his cheeks, unchecked and hot against his skin. His throat tightened, a lump forming that made it difficult to speak. In that moment, M/N felt his heart shatter into pieces. In all his years of living, someone was crying for him. No one should need to cry for him, especially Bang Chan. He didn’t know what he should do and so, M/N left the dorm room, leaving the sobbing one.

“Here, I got you water.” ChangBin sat on the Bang Chan’s bed as the latter hide himself under the covers. Bang Chan finally crawled out and took the water.

“Why are you here?” His voice was hoarse as if he had been crying for days but, in actually fact, it had only been a couple of hours since M/N left him.

“M/N came running to find me. He said that I should come here and take care of you.”

“He did?”

ChangBin nodded, handing over a warm towel to Bang Chan, “i assume you guys had a fight? None of your faces look any better. You look like a puffer fish and so did M/N just now. I’m surprise you guys can see the world with those swollen eyes.”

“I fucked up ChangBin. I fucked up so bad that i just wanna go back to the time i met M/N for the first time.” Bang Chan sniffled.

“That bad huh?”

“I love M/N, i really do. Even if it wasn’t a bet, I would’ve still fallen for M/N.”

“Finally.” ChangBin smiled, “took you so long to admit it. I apologise to M/N earlier on and explain to him the real reason behind the bet. If isn’t for our seniors who threaten us to make our college life miserable on the bet, we wouldn’t have done it. Surprisingly, M/N asked for the seniors names and when i told him, he was silent.”

“What do you mean?”

“He said those seniors had been after him for a while now. He mentioned something about them knowing the truth from their government parents. I didn’t understand him though, do you?”

“Wait, did you said government parents?”

“Yes.” ChangBin affirmed, “Tae-il sunbaenim’s parents are apart of the government ministers.”

“If they are government minister, it means they technically can know each and every person’s background don’t they?”

“Technically yes,”

“Oh no.”

“Woah, where are you going?” ChangBin was taken aback when Bang Chan practically fly out of his bed, grabbing his phone and putting on his shoes. “Can you at least explain something to me?”

“I need to find M/N. I need to talk to him. I need to apologise. I need,” Bang Chan took a deep breath, “I need M/N.”

“Oh, good luck.”

Bang Chan wasn’t gonna waste anytime because if his institution was right, he needs to find M/N fast. Upon knowing another truth, Bang Chan assume that Tae-il and his gang of friends knew about M/N’s past thus they might have been the ones with the intention to rape M/N all this while. This time, Bang Chan was determine to be save M/N. He needs to. He spammed M/N’s phone with calls and messages but to no avail, there was no response. He searched through the campus asking around if anyone had seen M/N but everyone looked at him in disgust instead. That was until Bang Chan came across a group of seniors in the hallway, he didn’t approach them but, he overheard their conversation that put him sick to the stomach.

“Damn was M/N good.”

“I would do him again.”

“Tae-il is making a fortune.”

“Fucking him was definitely better than a woman.”

“Though the location could be better. The gym storeroom smelled horrible.”

BINGO.

Bang Chan sprinted as fast as a wind to the gym storeroom. He was met with groups of people hanging outside the storeroom. Bang Chan ignored the calls from the people that had deemed to be his ‘friends’ as he stomped into the storeroom. His blood turns cold the moment he was met with what was happening. M/N was tied up in ropes and Bang Chan could see the friction burns underneath it. He was naked, blindfolded, body covered in bruises and blood. As if M/N was a doll, three people were doing the deed, raping him simultaneously on the front and back. Tae-il sat by them, on the chair, cigarettes in his hand smirking proudly as if he had done the best thing in the world.

“FUCK OFF!”

Rage was all he saw. He couldn’t think ahead as he lounge towards them. RED. That was all Bang Chan could see. He didn’t know how or what had happened but he felt someone pulling him away from Tae-il and he came into realisation. Tae-il lay on the floor a couple of feet away from M/N, beaten almost to death. He could hear ChangBin telling him that everything was okay now. No, it wasn’t. M/N was still blindfolded, unaware of what was happening, trembling and curling up on the ground. Bang Chan realised he couldn’t save M/N. He failed to save him.

“M/N?” Bang Chan’s hand trembled as he reached out to M/N. He released the ropes, covering M/N’s fragile frail with the blanket Lee Know had handed over. “M/N, its me. It’s okay. You’re okay.” Bang Chan removed the blindfold and M/N’s e/c orbs looked at him but, his heart shattered. M/N wasn’t crying neither did he show the intention to cry. His eyes wasn’t even watery to begin with. All M/N did was stare into Bang Chan’s teary eyes, lifelessly and Bang Chan broke down as he embraced M/N tightly.

What had he done?

••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Author’s Note: Apologies for the late update but, here it is! I might just add one last part to this! A happy ending? Or shall I wreck my own heart with a sad ending?

Master List

Stray Kids

Jealousy - [SKZ Lee Felix x M!Reader] ‼️[NSFW]‼️

Doomsday - [SKZ Bang Chan x M!Reader]

New Year Kiss - [SKZ Seo ChangBin x M!Reader]

One // Two

Insecurity - [SKZ x M!Reader]

Selective Mute - [SKZ Lee Know x M!Reader] ‼️[NSFW]‼️

Not Yours but, Mine - [SKZ Hwang HyunJin x M!Reader] ‼️[NSFW]‼️

Hanahaki - [SKZ Han JiSung x M!Reader]

One // Two

Here Always - [SKZ Kim SeungMin x M!Reader]

After Office Hours - [SKZ Yang JeongIn x M!Reader]

Curse of Bad Lucks - [SKZ Lee Felix x M!Reader]

Not all wishes comes true - [SKZ x M!Reader]

It is what it is - [SKZ Bang Chan x M!Reader] ‼️[NSFW]‼️

One // Two

One of those days - [SKZ Lee Know x M!Reader] ‼️[NSFW]‼️

Jujutsu Kaisen

Promises - [Jujutsu Kaisen! Nanami Kento x M!Reader]

One // Two // Three

I absolutely need to see your top 10 kakagai moments pls

This was hard because there are so many moments I wanted to include. I had to have the self control not to just pick 10 moments from the Konoha Shinden. 

                 TOP TEN KAKAGAI MOMENTS

10. "I can’t believe you couldn’t return a single punch after what they said about your father.“

Kakashi rushing in and saving Gai from two grown men who were beating him up. This moment reads just like so many from the official couples’ backstories, it’s honestly uncanny. And Kakashi is so furious at them.

9. “Doesn’t he remind us of someone? Especially… the eyebrows.”

The fact that Kakashi and Gai scoped out the little kids together is strangely sweet, especially since Kakashi wasn’t too keen on getting his own team. It was really cute that Kakashi lightly teased Gai about how much Lee reminded him of a younger Gai. 

8. “You did this to Kakashi?”

Gai’s big rescue and first showdown with Kisame, where Kakashi was dead meat and barely holding on until he saw Gai arrive. Kakashi finally passing out because he felt safe enough with Gai taking over says so much, and the way Gai turns his back on the enemy and gently lifts Kakashi out of the water over his shoulder says even more. Itachi retreated for a reason, Gai was pissed that they had hurt Kakashi this badly.

7. “He’s nice, isn’t he?”

The tempura scene. Kakashi loathes tempura, but he orders it just because it makes him happy to see Gai eat it off his plate. That’s the most domestic thing ever. And then Kakashi gushing to Mirai about it right after. Plus, he eats and pulls his mask down in front of Gai, no slight of hand or anything. He’s perfectly comfortable taking off his mask in front of Gai. He did it at an angle that obscured his face from Mirai’s view, but not from Gai’s.

6. “I have to take care of him…”

When Gai mentioned, way back in the chunin exams, that Kakashi can cut through lightning, who would have thought that Gai was the one who he did it for? That Kakashi found the strength out of nothing just to protect Gai was touching, and so was the scene where Gai promised to protect him afterwards.

5. “It’s not like this is the last one. You and I are eternal rivals. That will never change. Guy, it’s reassuring to me that we have someone as earnest as you. I’ll be counting on you from now on. I can’t protect this village by myself.”

The race is fantastic, and so is the scene before the race where Gai checks on Kakashi, but the scene after the race has to be my favorite part. Kakashi is just so openly moved by Gai’s gesture. This is one of the scenes where he’s most open and forthcoming about how much Gai means to him.

4. “I’d underestimated you a little, Gai.”

In Kakashi Hiden, Kakashi has a flashback to when Gai was discharged from the hospital. He remembers everything about it so vividly, from the weather to the faces Gai made to all the times Gai struggled and cried and broke down in frustration. And what he remembers most of all is how Gai never failed to put on a brave face and ensure Lee that he was just fine. It’s one of the moments where Kakashi sincerely acknowledge’s Gai’s strength of character.

3. “Guy… are you really…?!”

Kakashi’s reaction to Gai finally opening the 8th gate. In the manga and especially in the anime, it speaks for itself. Kakashi’s eyes go wide, he trembles in shock, he keeps asking Gai in disbelief if he was really going to do it. Their lives together flashed before his eyes. This is the definitely scene I think about as proof that Kakashi deeply, deeply cares about Gai and wants him around.

2. “I don’t think there’s a cooler shinobi than your dad.”

Kakashi being nice at all, pre-Obito’s death, is pretty amazing. The fact that he apparently went here with Gai to listen to his problems and told Gai that he admired Dai more than anyone else is so touching, and you can tell how much it meant to Gai to hear that. 

Honorable mentions:

Kakashi apologizing to Gai and trying to comfort him after Lee lost to Gaara

That time Hiruzen was being murdered but Gai and Kakashi were busy flirting fighting back to back to protect the stadium and join Genma

Chapter 700 where Kakashi invites Gai on a trip to all their nostalgic places

Little Gai calling Kakashi his man of destiny and asking him to spend their youth together

Every time Kakashi and Gai fight back to back

Every time Kakashi or Gai physically supports the other when they’re tired/weakened

Gai begs Hiruzen and Danzo to let him join ANBU to be with his “partner” Kakashi

Kakashi tells Tsunade that Gai is the man he trusts most in the entire world

Kakashi drops everything and rushes to Gai’s boat as soon as he gets the SOS tortoise

Scene in Kakashi Hiden where Kakashi sneaks onto the airship because he knows Gai will be there

Scene in Kakashi Hiden where Kakashi holds Gai’s hand while they’re both hanging off the edge of an airship, even if it means falling off and dying together

All the other parts of Konoha Shinden, especially them sleeping side by side with overlapping blankets

1. “If there’s a hotspring that can heal your leg, I’d…”

This has to be my number one. They adapted this scene perfectly. Kakashi and Gai, happy and retired, looking back on their lives together and thanking each other for being there, saying they wanted to continue staying by each other’s sides forever. This is kakagai in a nutshell.

aren't you the one who wrote a fic with chan where the reader was a firefighter?? because I swear I read it here??? I can't find it anymore😪

Yes that was me! It’s still in here, just lost somewhere deep in the profile. I can tag you in it

[It is what it is] - [SKZ Bang Chan X M!Reader]

‼️Trigger Warning: Depression, Rape‼️

It is what it is - The art of Acceptance

“Hi, you’re F/N M/N right?”

M/N stared at the red headed standing in front of him. He was a head shorter than him yet he could see the muscular build of the latter. He was smiling, widely may you add, enhancing his dimples. Cute. He was dressed in a simple black jeans and white pullover, the black backpack sling on his right shoulder. “I am. Do I know you?”

“Name is Christopher Bang, you can call me Bang Chan or just, Chan.” The latter holds up his hand.

Hesitantly, M/N took his hand giving it a firm shake, “so, do i know you?”

“Oh, sorry.” Bang Chan chuckled, “I’m your new roommate. I think our dorm leader, Lee Know should’ve mentioned about me.”

Oh. Roommate. M/N hasn’t had any roommate since he lived in the dormitory, or he did, twice but both of them declared M/N was a horrible roommate.

“I hope we get along and I’ll see you tonight back at the dorms. Gotta catch up with my friends.” Bang Chan flashed a genuine smile to the latter and M/N couldn’t help but stare at the retreating man as he walks away.

That was the first time M/N met Bang Chan.

“M/N! I got yo—WOAH,”

BUMP

M/N’s mouth twitched and a heart filled laughter echoed within the four walls of their room. Bang Chan had came running into the room with a piece of cake, excitedly may he add to which he didn’t realise the duffle bag in the middle of the entrance (Bang Chan left it there). The red headed had tripped over it, stumbling into the room, falling flat on his face with the cake smashed into his face. The moment Bang Chan lifted his face, M/N couldn’t help but laugh his heart out.

He wasn’t sure if it was the spur of the moment but, Bang Chan felt heat rushing to his cheeks. His heart thumped, skipping a beat looking at M/N’s widen smile and the sound of his laughter. It was unique. It’s been two months they’ve been roommates and Bang Chan still wondered why M/N was declared a horrible roommate. The latter did almost nothing but, study and sleep in their shared room. Bang Chan did most of the talking considering M/N was a much more introverted person than he was. They chat, at times but, just a short and simple one. It was just a hi-bye relationship you see.

That was the first time, M/N had laugh his heart out and the first time Bang Chan felt his heart flutter.

“I told you the temperature will drop today.” M/N scolded as he tugs Bang Chan into his bed.

It had been cold recently and M/N never failed to remind his roommate to dress up warmly on a daily basis. Bang Chan was a little hard headed thus when he caught a cold, there exactly isn’t anyone he could blame. M/N had voluntarily stepped in to nurse the latter. Bang Chan let out another sneeze, snots dripping down his nose. M/N grimaced looking at the disgusting green snot but, he cleaned it up nonetheless. Bang Chan felt himself drifting in and out of slumber, M/N sat just beside him, on the floor, his back leaning against Bang Chan’s bed frame. M/N accompanied him throughout the night. It was in bits and pieces but, Bang Chan knew M/N fed him medicine every 4 hours as the instruction directed. Bang Chan knew M/N helped him out of his sweaty clothes into something clean and warm. Bang Chan knew M/N complied on whatever he had whined.

That was the first time Bang Chan realise M/N was finally warming up to him.

“How are you good at everything?” Bang Chan whined as he walked alongside M/N.

They had spent the day out together since the school announced an urgent closure for the day. Initially, M/N, of course, refused but after Bang Chan continuously gave him the ‘puppy eyes and pouty lips’, M/N gave in and let the latter drag him everywhere. They ended up going to a nearby mall. Bang Chan dragged M/N into the arcade, challenging him to all the games that existed. Unfortunately for Bang Chan, he had lost against M/N on all the games. Bang Chan refuse to accept his lost and so, he dragged M/N to the ice skating rink. Bang Chan expected M/N to fall on his butt on first try but, no. As graceful as a swan, M/N skated across the rink and Bang Chan felt his heart flutter again. Of course, yet again, Bang Chan was not going to admit defeat. He dragged M/N out of the mall, this time to a basketball court just 5 minutes away from the mall. They played against each other with M/N winning effortlessly. Slouching, Bang Chan finally admit defeat.

“I’m not good at everything. I have flaws too.” M/N replied, “how about i treat you dinner so you can stop pouting like a baby?”

“I don’t pout like a baby!” The red headed denied, face turning red within seconds.

“Sure Channie. Sure.” M/N chuckled as they walk into the restaurant.

That was the first time M/N called him by a nickname.

They lay on the picnic mat (Bang Chan stole it from economy class) beside each other looking into the night sky. The night sky. A vast, endless, and unknown universe beyond the human eye. A whole new world. Bang Chan and M/N has been getting closer as the day goes by and in a blink of an eye, it had been a year since they met each other, became roommate, developing a whole new level of friendship. Bang Chan knows M/N was comfortable with him and he knows M/N likes him. Even if he didn’t say it, M/N was so obvious in showing his act of love to him.

“Hey Channie?” M/N softly calls out. Bang Chan hummed in response, “thank you for existing. Thank you for being my roommate. Thank you for being my friend. Ever since you suddenly emerge into my life, it feels like i can breathe again, i can see colours, i can live. You saved me from myself.”

Bang Chan could feel his heart skipped a beat on the latter confession, he tilted his body towards M/N seeing the flushed cheeks despite the darkness, “You’re most welcome M/N.”

“I….I like you Channie.” M/N confessed, “you…you don’t have to like me back or reply to me. I….I just needed to get it o—,” M/N was cut off when Bang Chan pulled him into a gentle yet heated kiss. Their lips moulded perfectly against each other, tongues tangled in their locked mouths, battling madly for dominance. They finally parted lips to catch their breath and at the moment of time, The love they shared was beyond explanation.

That was the first time M/N realise he had fallen for Bang Chan, hard.

F/N M/N, to sum it up, he wasn’t really looking for anything in life. He didn’t have a goal, an ambition or even a will to live. He was just an empty shell wishing to shatter away from the world. That was until he met Bang Chan. The excitement he felt waking up to seeing his roommate snoring away, oblivious of the rising sun, was just indescribable. The fluttering heart every time Bang Chan would simply smile or just, talk to him was absurd. No words can explain how he was feeling towards the latter or how he was developing a sense of will to live, for him, for Bang Chan.

He didn’t come from a good background to begin with. He didn’t know who his parents were, only knowing that someone left him by the trash can, bloodied, only wrapped in a ruined piece of clothes, he was only an hour old. Growing up in an orphanage, M/N wasn’t a bright kid. Whilst kids his age play together, enjoying the sunshine, M/N stayed in the room, simply reading. He was at the age of twelve when the caretaker told him that he was getting adopted. M/N thought perhaps there was going to be a change in his life but, reality was cruel. His adoptive parents were criminals. M/N was forced to sell his body to whoever his parents sent him to. He became a sex slave for his adoptive parents for a consecutive of three years.

At the age of fifteen, M/N have had enough. He was numb. He lost everything, he lost himself. He stood, towering over the bodies that lay in front of him lifeless, a gun in his trembling hands, naked. Everything was a daze. M/N couldn’t feel anything but, numbness. He couldn’t feel the throbbing sensation from the beating he had gotten earlier. He couldn’t feel the gushing blood that flowed out of his lower region from being forced to take in three men simultaneously. He couldn’t feel the tears that stream down his face drastically. He was just numb. That was the last thing M/N remembered before hearing sirens and authorities came running into the house and falling into a deep slumber.

The first thing he saw upon opening his eyes were the clouds painted on the room ceiling. He was in the hospital. Someone came into the room but, M/N refuses to look at the person. He couldn’t find himself to. Surprisingly, the person didnt make an attempt to talk to him, he just sat on the chair beside the bed, silent while he reads a book. It went on for a week, M/N counted the days.

“It is what it is.” The person said, surprising M/N.

That was the first time M/N finally looked at the person.

Hwang HyunJin. That was his name. He was 7 years older than M/N, a police officer who happened to be the one who responded to his case. HyunJin had took him in after his discharge from the hospital. HyunJin wasn’t much of a talker like M/N so there were barely any words shared amongst them but, what M/N knew indefinitely was that HyunJin became the reason for him to have a will of life. HyunJin cared for him deeply even if it was not verbalised, his actions said otherwise. Those times M/N would just have nightmares, he would always wake up to HyunJin sitting on the floor just by his bed, their hands intertwined. Those times when M/N would just hide away in his room, staring out of the window lifeless, HyunJin was there sitting beside him, accompanying him despite having said no words. Those times, M/N didn’t know what he was feeling but, tears kept escaping his eyes yet no sound was heard, HyunJin was there embracing him tightly. It took a year when M/N gradually open up to HyunJin. It took HyunJin by surprise when he came home one day, M/N came out his room upon hearing the doors.

“W…welcome back.” M/N shyly said before going back into the room. HyunJin still stunned, smiled widely.

That was the first time M/N realise HyunJin was his will to live.

Their relationships grew stronger than ever. Two birds of a feather. Almost inseparable. M/N finally felt as if he was himself for the first time in forever. He went back to school, made friends, lived his life as should a ‘normal’ seventeen year old. Everything was okay. Everything was perfect but, oh was he wrong. He was at home, waiting for HyunJin to come home after being promised that they were going to have a movie night. He had popcorns, soda and a various of movie cds readied. All that was left was Hwang HyunJin. He could hear the front door unlocking and opening, M/N excitedly got up from the couch, running over to the entrance and he froze. Hwang HyunJin stumbled into their house with not one, but, two gun shot wounds. He was pale, trembling as he struggled to take a step forward. M/N catches his frail before he could drop to the floor.

“M/N,” HyunJin breathed, “I…. I’m sorry, I couldn’t stay with you long enough. I need you to promise me something. I want you to live your life as you are now just, without me in it. I need you to accept the reality of life. It is what it is.”

M/N trembled as he held HyunJin’s frail tightly, his eyes clouded with tears that threatened to fall any time soon. HyunJin’s hand that once caressed his cheeks dropped lifelessly. HyunJin’s eyes fluttered as he heaves his last breath. As if M/N’s soul could bleed an ocean through the eyes, that was the enormity of his sobbing.

That was the first time M/N cried his heart out.

“Agh…. M/N….agh, i’m cu…mming,” Bang Chan moaned as his body reach its high. His legs spasming as it was wrapped around M/N’s waist. M/N let out a sinful moan as he came into Bang Chan, falling into the red headed embrace after. Their bodies tangled in between the sheet of their combined bed as they calm themselves down. “That was…. Wonderful. You’re so good in bed.”

A chuckle left M/N’s lips as he nuzzled his head into the red headed chest, “Channie.”

“Yes baby?”

“I love you.”

Bang Chan felt his heart thumped as his cheeks grew hot. Cupping M/N’s face, he softly plants a kiss on his lips. “I love you more M/N. W—-wait, why are you crying? D…don’t cry, baby.”

M/N sniffled as he giggles, “I’m just so happy. I love you Channie. I really do love you.”

There were no words that could describe how euphorically beautiful the moment was.

That was the first time they made love.

“I’ll be back a little late tonight. I’m going to get some drinks with my friends at the restaurant just across the street.” Bang Chan said as he puts on his jacket, “I’ll text you when I’m done baby.” M/N nodded as he plants a kiss to Bang Chan’s forehead, hugging the latter goodbye.

It was a Saturday. Bang Chan and M/N had spent the day cooped in their room, tangled in bed watching Netflix, ordering take-outs and just, spending the day together, enjoying each other company. It was just an hour ago when Bang Chan’s friend had invited him to get a drink. Initially, he didn’t want to go up but, M/N reasoned that he should since they had been spending so much time together that his friends may think that Bang Chan might have thrown them away. Not like M/N didn’t enjoy his time with Bang Chan but, he didn’t want to seem to be so possessive. They were in a relationship, yes but, it was okay to have some alone time still.

It was 15 minute after Bang Chan had left when M/N realise that the latter had left his phone on the study table. M/N chuckle at how forgetful his cute boyfriend could be. He got himself dressed, grabbing Bang Chan’s phone and left. M/N intended to drop his phone over at the restaurant and probably stop by the convenience store to get some snacks along the way. That seems like a plan. He walked into the restaurant, eyes scanning through to find Bang Chan and there he sat, his back facing him, happily chatting with his group of friends.

“I told you i could win the bet! Come on!”

M/N stopped on his tracks just a few feet away from when Bang Chan sat.

“Seriously how?!” One of his friends whined, handing over a few hundred of dollars to Bang Chan. M/N knew him. It was Seo ChangBin, one of his classmate. “The first two who i gave a bet couldn’t even stay in the same room as him!”

“It was easy.” Bang Chan shrugged, slipping the money into his jacket, “it was so fucking easy to get him to fall in love with me. It just took patience.”

“Bet you can’t get him to fuck you.” ChangBin challenged.

“Already did!” Bang Chan smirked, “he wasn’t even that good and oh, he cries right after it. He was all ‘I love you’ here and there then cried like a fucking baby.”

M/N felt his heart throbbed as if someone had stabbed him right where it was. A bet. A fucking bet, that was what it was all along.

“Can you believe it that there was once when he said that i save his life? I almost laughed so hard. I mean, what? Is he depressed or some kind of emo kid or just a fucking weirdo? It’s not like life is so hard to go through. It’s life. It’s pretty much normal yet he made it sound as if he’s living a horrible life. That’s so pathetic. It is what is it.” Bang Chan ranted as he pours himself a drink. He looked up wondering why ChangBin was silent and looked as if he had seen a ghost. It was then a phone, his phone was placed on the table side.

Bang Chan turned to see M/N. His eyes widened. Did M/N heard what he said?

“You left your phone, thought you might need it.” M/N monotonously said and he turns to leave.

Bang Chan quickly got up, grabbing his hand, “Wait M/N! I can explain.”

“No need.” M/N smiles as he tugs his hand out of the grasp, “It is what it is.”

••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Author’s Note: it’s pretty lengthy but, anyways, I might write a part two where Chan chases M/N. Should I?

No one will know how LOUD i screamed his name

Minato is trying his best ok

Also in canon Obito doesn't know about Sakumo's death until Kannabi bridge so he thinks Kakashi is being coddled for no reason and that’s why he reacts like that. I was gonna add more scenes and reactions of them but I chose to focus on Kakashi and Minato.

I love the dynamic between them and poor Minato is just trying to help but there's only so much he can do with a deeply traumatized genius child soldier.

your top 3 kakashi moments and why? :) love ur art btw <3

I've been thinking about this for days! Except for one very clear no.1 moment it was really tricky to narrow these down. Anyway, I managed and I think it's fitting to start somewhere in the beginning.

Pocket Pack

Kakashi was a cool badass/adorable bedridden hero teacher in over his head this entire arc and it's all great but my favorite moment is of course when the kids start dying/leaking nuke juice and it's time for ninken daddy to get serious, like: "Zabuza, enough with the bullshit, I need you to meet my adorable bulldogs," and he just starts twirling.

And then he looks like a bulldog while he's doing the summoning?!?!! Like, he's never that scrunched up wrinkly faced at any other time and I both love and fear the implications of what a full Kakashi sage mode might look like.

I don't know what this hand pose is but it's giving Sailor Moon and I'm so into it. NEXT!

Putting the fear in ROOT

Teen Kakashi, standing in Danzo's doorway just after the old bastard tried to have his eye stolen. Like, not only is Kakashi badly injured and acting directly against the Hokage's orders here, he is also about to burst into ROOT solo to rescue the guy who hurt him and called him friend-killer. Danzo stood in front of all of his agents saying Kakashi's eye would be an easy target because nobody would miss him and except for a few notable exceptions he wasn't wrong about that. Kakashi is on extremely thin ice here. He still walks right on through like he's got every right to be there, quietly daring those guards to make a move against him and when they do he gives them the stink eye!

We rarely get to see Kakashi use genjutsu like this and it's so good and cool and unsettling. I love the whole ANBU arc but this part is so perfectly dark and and the stakes are so fucking high.

Dilating horrors... NEXT!

Crybaby ninja

There was no doubt about this moment. Nothing compares to it for me but I have no idea how to begin explaining why. There's too much to say and I would love to say it in a way where the words really capture the emotions I feel while reading and watching this scene but I'm not equipped to do that right now, or maybe ever. There are too many layers.

Kakashi opening Obito's eye for the first time, letting us see the devastating origins of "Kakashi of the Sharingan" is like... yeah I can't summarize that. But you know. You already know <3

It's what happens next that really hits me every single time though. The clip of animation that is without a doubt my favorite Kakashi moment. The manga panel has it all in a single frame but the anime really takes it all the way. The hurt, the rage and the resolve. He's so small and strong and I believe in him. That makes me believe in myself too. It's one of those 'this is how good stories are supposed to work'-moments I think. There are enough sorrows packed into this child character for us all to wrap ourselves in. It's been nothing but heartbreaking and scary and awful up until this point but right here, in this moment there is a promise of catharsis. A lightning strike in just the right place.

also this genre of kakashi

❛ ᴋᴇɴᴊɪ ꜱᴀᴛᴏ ᴛᴡᴛ ʟɪɴᴋꜱ

<< nfsw twitter links>>

━━ "I'd reach about... here"

━━ Strokes and penetration with Ken Sato

━━ What if that tub scene went differently?

━━ Coach isn't on the bus, but his daughter is.

━━ "You wanted a private interview? Well here it is."

━━ Just a quick blowjob before his game. He basically begs you.

━━ "It'd be quick, no one coming in here." He whispers in your ear.

━━ Just what he needs after a long day's work of training in baseball in the day and being Ultraman at the night

━━ "Is this why you wanted an interview of the records? Kenji Sato gets a handjob from a reporter and can't stop whimpering. "

━━ This is how Ken Sato looks at you after trying to deny him the only thing that can cheer him up after losing a match.

━━ He had a good match today, won the season all thanks to the countless support and encouragement from his bare. He's gotta repay her somehow.

━━ When Emmi was around, it was Emmi, a game, the press, Emmi again, training, coach shouting at him, Emmi again, being Ultraman, Emmi. He barely got any time to rest, but whenever he did, he didn't use it to sleep but rather for stress relief

━━━ Kenji always spent so much time on the online meetings that the coach had him join. Hours of coach's rambling, and he couldn't even doze off because he would always call on someone like it was a damn history class. You decide to help Kenji and satisfy his boredom a little bit.

rezitio©, as promised my children. enjoy & I'd live feedback and sorry for going away for so long. Startedbthis yesterday lol.

[Not all wishes comes true] - [SKZ x M!Reader]

‼️Warning: Character!Death(s), Implied suicidal, Delusional ‼️

You found yourself walking under the rain, soaked from your head to toe. Your cheek throbbed, your arm hurts. You were tripped by a group of thug for god knows why while you were walking and fell straight on your right side. Your clothes were torn from the friction of the fall and you had grazed your arm on the rough surface of the ground. You were cold, you know that you were cold but, you refuse to feel it. Your heart was aching so bad that it was gradually turning numb. You felt nothing. You forced yourself to drag your feet to one destination in mind, the apartment. You wouldn’t call it home. It was just an apartment you rented after you left your family house the moment you turned legal and independent. It had been years that you’ve lived alone in the rented apartment, coming home to no one most of the time. You were just trying to live your life, to survive.

You just came back from the annual dinner with your family and as usual, it didn’t go well, it never did. Yet again, despite having a stable job, an adequate income, your family criticised you for not giving them money but hell, you did. You gave them half your income every month and you were walking by the thread to live in this expensive world. There are days you would go by with just one meal to save money and no one knew. Your family damned you to the ground, leaving you no chance to explain yourself. Being you, all you could afford was to just listen to them and stayed silent again.

“You’re doing it wrong, again!”

“How worthless of a child can you be?”

“You have nothing.”

“Everything single thing that happened in this family, it’s all because of you!”

“You can’t even do anything right!”

You thought they were right because when you think about what had happened in the past, you don’t see any fighting point. Even if you did, what’s the point of telling or showing to them because they will never change. Family sticks together, they said. Bullshit. You never believe in those because all this while, you were trying to be better, you were trying to succeed, to please them, to be someone to them. It wasn’t just your family that had always been an ache to your heart. Your job was demanding. You took up two job to support yourself and most of the time, you run on little to no sleep for days and on your off days, you usually sleep it off. You barely had a life to begin with. Your social life was a no go too. You barely had any.

You found yourself outside of your apartment, rummaging through your pocket for your keys. You were sure the landlord was going to give you a hell of a scolding with the puddle of mess you left trailing from the elevator to your apartment probably tomorrow. You finally found the keys and unlock the door, surprise to see shoes neatly aligned in front of the entrance. The apartment lights were switched on and it sounded chaotic. Chaotic? Why? You close the door behind you, slamming it lightly to alert whoever was in the apartment. You didn’t mind if it was a robber because just maybe the robber would shoot you in the head to escape and then you would just die. You were that tired that wanting to die was possibly the only thing that would excite you. You stood at the entrance, creating a new puddle on the floor as you again, rummage in your pocket, for cigarettes this time. If you were going to die, a last smoke wouldn’t hurt. You lit up a cigarette.

“Bab——y?” You looked up to see Lee MinHo, Lee Know, and your eyes widened, the lit cigarette slips out from your fingers.

“Hyung, what are you waiting for? Get him in.” Another voice, this time, Han JiSung appeared beside MinHo and your eyes meet.

“Seriously, you guys. Why are you staring at the door?” Lee YongBok, Felix, came in the picture. He gasped.

“Is M/N back? What’s the hold up?” Christopher Bang, Chan, walked over to the three of them and when he finally turn to see you at the door, he shouted. “M/N?! What happened?!” He was first to came to your aid. He cups your face tenderly, inspecting it like a detective. You almost sigh at how warm his hands were. “Sweetie? Baby? What happened?”

“I…..” You didn’t realise how dry your throat was, “I fell.”

“Oh my god! Someone please get a first aid kit.”

As if time had started moving, you watch as MinHo, JiSung and Felix scrambled back into the apartment and Chan helped you out of your ruined shoes. You were practically lifted into Chan’s arm and set on the floor of the living room. You didn’t have a couch by the way. Felix had stripped you off your soaked clothes and JiSung threw a bunch of towels he could find on you. You were butt naked under the bundle of towels that covered your frail. LeeKnow came running, tripping over his own foot but somehow manage to land in front of you with a first aid kit. You were overwhelmed with the four men panicking in front of you.

“Baby? Tell me if it hurts okay?” LeeKnow whispered as he cleans your bruises and cuts with the iodine. You only nodded, knowing that you couldn’t feel anything. You didn’t know what you should be feeling.

You close your eyes, embracing the fact that the four men surrounded you, warmed you up.

“Hey! We’re back!”

“Why is it so quiet?”

“Probably sleeping, i guess.”

“Do you think M/N Hyung is back?”

Four more voices rang through your ears. Your eyes drifted to the entrance and there they were. Seo ChangBin, Hwang HyunJin, Kim SeungMin, Yang JeongIn. They froze on their tracks when they see you.

“Hyung!”

“Jagiya!”

“My love!”

“Sweetie!”

They came running in front of you, pushing the other four out of the way and you chuckled. You couldn’t believe yourself but you actually chuckled heartedly seeing how the 8 men were somehow pushing one another to be in front of you or generally near you. At first, a chuckle from your lips, a mere hint of amusement. The laughter grew, taking on a manic edge as it bubbled up from deep within your chest. You felt your heart pound gradually, you didn’t like it. You didn’t like the fact that you were starting to feel all your emotions breaking through the numb facade. As your laughter reached a fever pitch, it abruptly died away, leaving a deafening silence. Tears streamed down your face unchecked, mixing with the remnants of your laughter as you crumpled and SeungMin catching your frail midway. Your body wracked with sobs. Every emotion fell through the cries and you just sob your heart out.

They are here. All eight of them are here. Your boyfriends were right in front of you, worried for you. How could you have forgotten about them? You had eight boyfriends, a massive polyamory family that had been together since 4 years ago. You had idol boyfriends that cared and loved you unconditionally despite the limited amount of time that you meet.

“Tired,” you croaked through your hysterical cries, “I’m so tired! I’m so tired of everything!”

“Let it out jagiya, let it out,” you heard SeungMin whispers and you fall into his chest.

“I’m so tired! I couldn’t feel. I felt numb. Why do you guys love me still? I’m a wreck, I’m a fxcked up! I’m so fxcking worthless! I genuinely forgot about your existence today. I was ready to die and all of you…..” you trail off, feeling your throat closing up, “you guys are here loving me still.”

“Forever and always till infinity and beyond, we promised.” ChangBin said.

“Forever and always till infinity and beyond, we promised.” You repeated feeling all the weight that bare you down being lifted indefinitely.

You met Stray Kids years ago when you had just left the family house. You were on shift at the cafe and they came in for a midnight snack. JeongIn was the first to talk to you and he introduced you to the rest of the group. You began hanging out with them occasionally and gradually, you learnt about each others. You learnt about their hardships and they learnt yours. In a nutshell, you guys knew each other so well that you can become the other person. Soon, you fell in love with each of them and you confessed openly. SKZ was taken aback but, they worked things out and all of you came into conclusion in a polyamory relationship. You certainly didn’t expect it to work but, it did. In a blink of an eye, you have been with them for 4 years now.

“Are you okay to tell us what happened?” HyunJin asked softly as he assuringly squeeze your thigh.

You nodded, “maybe after i put on some clothes?”

You saw all their worry dissipate and they laughed along. You got dress with the help of HyunJin and then find yourself seated in a circle in the living room. You saw various of food set on the plastic cover, what intrigued you was the birthday cake in the middle of it.

“Cake?” You questioned to yourself and your brain begin doing the math if you had forgotten anyone’s celebration today. “I….I’m sorry. Did i forget anyone’s birthday or anniversary today?”

“Baby,” JiSung pouts beside you, “It’s your birthday.”

“It is?” Your eyes widened as you look at the calendar on the wall. Shit. It is your birthday. How could you have forgot? Even your family didn’t say anything earlier on. You smiled bitterly as you shudder from the thought of your family. “I forgot I’m old.” You chuckled.

“My love,” I.N tenderly kisses you on the cheek, holding your hand firmly.

You smiled sheepishly and gulped down a cup of iced tea. You felt everyone’s eyes on you and you sighed, fishing for the right words to tell them what had happened, “but I’m okay now. Thanks to you guys.”

“Sweetie, we know that we’ve been very busy with comebacks and we’ve barely been contacting each other but,” Chan said.

“We’re still your boyfriend, if you ever feel overwhelmed, please call us. We’ll be here.” LeeKnow continued.

“If you were anything in this world, you’re our priority.” ChangBin declared.

“You will always and will be our priority.” HyunJin affirmed.

“You’re doing so well. The world is tough but you’ve persevered through this.” JiSung smiled.

“You’re stronger than every one of us.” Felix said.

“You smile the brightest.” SeungMin added.

“And you don’t have to bear everything on yourself. You have us.” I.N grinned.

“Forever and always till infinity and beyond, we promised.” You felt your cheeks flush when all of them said simultaneously.

“Now, why don’t you make a wish?” LeeKnow lighted the candles on the cake.

You close your eyes, hands clasped over your chest and you whispered, “I wish that what we have right now will stay within us forever. I really love all of you so much.” You took a deep breath and blow out the candles.

Little did you know, you reopen your eyes to the dark living room, seated in your drenched and soaked clothes. The bruises and cuts from earlier unattended. Tears stream down your cheeks silently as soft sobs left your lips. SKZ weren’t here. They never were, not after you lost them in an accident months ago.

Not all wishes come true.

[Promises; Part Three] - [Jujutsu Kaisen! Nanami Kento x M!Reader] [NSFW]

Part One

Part Two

Part Three

M/N was on the beach, nestled in the hammock with Nanami. His eyes are closed as he relish in the sounds of the rushing waves and the gulls squawking in the air. He turn over, resting his head on Nanami’s chest. Nanami adjusts his arms so he can hold M/N while still reading his book. M/N’s eyes open a little, and he shields them from the sun.

“You’re staring.” Nanami said as he finally puts down the book he was reading aside. “Is there something on my face?”

M/N chuckled and nuzzles his head like a dog cuddling his owner, “handsomeness. Too much handsomeness on your face, I don’t want anyone to see you ever again.” Nanami could his cheek burning up as he runs a hand through M/N locks. “I can’t believe you’re here with me Kento-san.”

"I’m here. I’m right here with you."

That was all it took for M/N. M/N smirked as he lifted Nanami's frail single-handedly earning a yelp from the other. Nanami was quick to hold on tight as M/N brought them to their bedroom, tossing the older onto the bed.

"How are you still strong with only one arm?"

"I've been working out." M/N shrugged, “There isn't exactly anything I could've done alone in this house so working out was a go-to for me. Now, if I may, l've been holding back for 6 years, don't expect to walk for the entire week, Kento-san."

Nanami blushed as M/N climbed into the bed, crawling over to the older, "M/N, let me do the work."

"Oh, I would like that." Nanami got up and push M/N to lay on the bed. He straddled M/N's lap, seductively removing his shirt. "Damn, you're so sexy baby." M/N couldn't keep his hand to himself as he trail along Nanami's collarbone down to his nipple, pinching it lightly.

"Agh." Nanami moaned subconsciously grinding his hard on to M/N's. "M…M/N,"

"Baby, If you keep being so cute, I really can't hold it back any longer." M/N groaned. He had unbutton Nanami's pants and helped the other to take it off with his underwear. *Lube, we need lube."

"N...o, it'll take too long. F...aster M/N,* Nanami whimpered as he took M/N's finger into his mouth, sucking on it.

That's it, you're too cute for me." M/N flipped them around so he would hover on top of the older. He gently pushed a finger into Nanami's entrance earning a cry from him. *Are you okay?"

"*Y...eah, your fingers are so long, it's hitting me so deep."

Nanami breathed.

"Good to know baby"" M/N grinned. He continuously pump his finger into Nanami. The older couldn't hold back his cry of pleasure as M/N found his prostate, abusing it rapidly.

"I'm gonna fuck you so hard baby."

"Agh! Too...too much," Nanami arched his back, cumming onto his stomach.

"Cumming from just my fingers" M/N runs a hand through his (h/c) locks, groaning at the irresistible sight. He took his dick, stroking them slow and strong, positioning in front of Nanami's entrance. "I'm going in."

"Agh," Nanami moaned, his fingers dugged into M/N's shoulders. M/N couldn't be bothered that they did sting.

"S..slower."

"Sorry baby. You need to relax or you're gonna literally break my dick into half." M/N gripped onto Nanami's waist and push himself further in, Nanami screamed when he had fully entered. "you good?" M/N leaned down to kiss the fallen tears on Nanami's cheek, "we can stop here."

Nanami moaned and shook his head, "just, give me a minute. I just need to adjust to your size. You aren't exactly small. You're monstrous." M/N laughed seeing the older whimpers.

“I’m going to start moving Kento-san.” M/N whispered into the blonde’s ear, his teeth grazing over the tip of his ears playfully. Nanami could feel his stomach being rearranged indefinitely. M/N was filling him up with every slow and gentle trust. Whimpers of pleasure escapes the blonde’s lips as M/N gradually fasten his pace. “Fuck, you feel so good Kento-san,” M/N groaned , his head thrown back in pleasure.

"Kiss me M/N, kiss me.” Nanami held out his arms. M/N gladly lets himself into Nanami’s embrace, locking their lips together. They kissed intensely as if tomorrow never exists to begin with. M/N could feel every vibration of Nanami’s moan through their heated kiss and that, was such a turn on for him.

“Shirt, off.” Nanami whispers and for that second, M/N stopped moving, breaking their lips apart. “M/N?” Nanami could see M/N uncomfortable flinch when he slips a hand under M/N shirt, “M/N, what’s wrong? Is something hurting? Baby? Is it the scars?” M/N seemed to give in as he nods mutely, leaning his head onto Nanami's shoulder. "M/N, you're beautiful.* Nanami cupped M/N's face to make eye contact with the younger.

"It's not really about the scars. I don't mind having this scar on me for life. It's just, people. People get scared of me. I don’t want you to be scared of me when you see the scars."

"Oh, fuck them, fuck the people. I’m not those people," Nanami kisses him, "they don't get to judge how MY M/N looks. They don't get to know that the love of my life is wearing a scar that indicates a sacrifice to save me. M/N, I really love you."

M/N couldn't hold back the tears as they stream down his cheek. How long has he not cry his heart out?

"M/N," Nanami moaned, *I don't know why but, you are growing bigger in me. It's hitting me so deep, you're gonna rip me apart."

M/N sniffled, "sorry baby. I really can't hold back this time. I mean it"

Without any warning, M/N pulled back and slammed into Nanami with an indecent strength. He could hear the cries from the older to slow down, or at least, be gentle but, M/N couldn't get himself to. Not when Nanami declared that he was his. Nanami was his and he was Nanami's.

"SL…..OW D…OWN! M/N…..agh, I...agh,.. I'm cumming." Nanami's legs wrapped around M/N's as it spasm. M/N came in the older as the older spurted on their stomach.

"Kento-san, I really love you." M/N linked their lips.

"I know. I really love you more." Nanami smiled.

“As i said, i will make sure you don’t get to walk for the next week, I’m only getting started Kento-san.” M/N smirked as he literally rips his shirt single-handedly. Nanami couldn’t help but blush furiously seeing how hot his lover is.

Let’s just say, Nanami was indeed bedridden for the entire week.

********************************************

Authors Note!

Credits to @actuallysaiyan for letting me use his imagine to start off the story. It was a perfect setting!

Hatake Kakashi Timeline (Part ½)

I’ve seen a lot of confusion about Kakashi’s timeline recently. I’ve spent a ton of time obsessing over this so I thought I’d share.

Birth 9/15

Age = 5 ⇒ Graduates Academy

Age = 6 ⇒ Chunin Promotion

Age = 7 ⇒ Sakumo’s Death 

Inferred from Chapter 240, page 18

This is from Kakashi’s first mission as a jounin. Kakashi was 12 (possibly 13-see next section). 12 - 5 = 7 years old. 

Age = 12 ⇒ Jounin Promotion and Obito’s ‘death’ 

Inferred from Obito’s age during Kakashi Gaiden

Obito and Kakashi are around the same age. I realize 13 ≠ 12, but look at their birthdays. Obito would turn 13 in February, 7 months before Kakashi. Given the amount of time Obito would need to recover before Rin’s death, it seems plausible to assume his ‘death’ happened before Kakashi turned 13. This also allows more time for him to master his new abilities before the Kyuubi attack. Unfortunately, it is never specifically stated how long Obito remains in Madara’s lair before he first leaves it. 

Age = 13 ⇒ Rin’s Death 

Rin’s death occurred sometime after Obito’s ‘death,’ but some months before the Kyuubi attack. Kakashi may have been 12 years old at this time, but, once again allowing for Obito’s recovery time, it’s unlikely Kakashi was still 12. It is also impossible for Kakashi to have been 14 at this time. Kakashi was assigned to guard Kushina during her pregnancy due to his ruthlessness in ANBU. Kushina’s pregnancy lasted 10 months, with it beginning in January. Kakashi was still 13 at this time.

Age = 13 ⇒ Joins ANBU 

See above. 

Age = 14 ⇒ Kyuubi Attack and Minato and Kushina’s Deaths 

Naruto is 12 at the start of the series; Kakashi is 26.

26 - 12 = 14 years old at the time of the Kyuubi attack. 

Now, I know what you’re thinking. “What about the arc that shows Kakashi competing in the Chunin exams at the same time as Rin and Obito?”

The problem with Kakashi’s timeline comes from chapter 599. In this same chapter, page 7, Obito is shown in the flashback telling Rin he wants to become Hokage.

You see the Fourth’s face on the mountain there? Yeah, he wasn’t Hokage yet. Two pages earlier it shows him walking with the current Hokage, the Third. The mistake was pointed out to Kishi, and a fixed version was later issued. The point of this chapter, titled “Obito Uchiha,” was to show Obito and his ‘rivalry’ with Kakashi. It seems Kishi focused on developing Obito’s background and just didn’t think to check that he was keeping in line with Kakashi’s timeline also. If you throw out this arc, Kakashi’s timeline pretty much works out. Here’s the same shot, but fixed in the anime.

I plan to do part two later. Let me know if something doesn’t add up or I left out a source. Hope this clears up part of the confusion around Kakashi’s timeline.

Sources: 

http://naruto.wikia.com/wiki/Kakashi_Hatake http://naruto.wikia.com/wiki/Naruto_Uzumaki http://naruto.wikia.com/wiki/Minato_Namikaze http://naruto.wikia.com/wiki/Obito_Uchiha http://www.mangapanda.com/naruto/240/18 http://www.anime-planet.com/anime/naruto-shippuden/videos/27247

I hope this does not give too much pressure, but I have a request? I LOVED LOVED the fanfic about satosugu and reader with them being very, very rough after a tough work project/trip. Then I thought about it being a angsty?? Love a good angst

This is your account so it’s completely up to you to write or not!! I was thinking that after a while SatoSugu have another rough week. When the come back, the don’t immediately take it out through sex. Instead, they just bottle it up. Reader tries to comfort them about it but they ignore her or act snappy. Reader isn’t a pushover, but she is very understanding and patient. She lets them be mean, (it still hurt though) and just stays calm. She also had her own rough week while they were gone, but she doesn’t really show it. When they come back angry, she was hoping to forget her pain with them, but she only got their cold shoulder and words.

The next day when she comes home from another rough workday, she notices that they seemed to still be angry and agitated from their work trip. They suggest she take the next two days off, and she immediately knew what was coming. (Full consent given from her) She was feeling sensitive from her own turmoil/stress and the duo’s coldness, but she didn’t think too much of it.

While the roughness did feel good at first, it slowly became too much. They were too rough, far too rough. Their harsh words hurt. Their harsh hands hurt. The rope/ribbon hurt. Everything hurt, but was she overreacting? She was scared of disappointing them and ruining the mood I guess. She tried to look alright, but her cries slowly let out from the pain and emotional hurt.

They noticed it… Reader apologizes, but the duo is like, “Um no why are YOU sorry? This is on US.” SatoSugu realize their mistake and take care her mwah!! It was just a small dump, I’m so so sorry! As much as I LOVE writing, I’ll never be too confident enough to put this out. Even if I were to, writing styles will always be different. (Plus, I love the way other people write, just like yours!!)

Sorry it’s so so long!

- Moni Anon (first time requesting… kind of shy)

Shock

Characters: Gojo Satoru, Geto Suguru, FAB!Reader

Pairing: SatoSugu X FAB!Reader

Word Count: 2,659

Warnings: Blood, death, shock, nightmares, PTSD, rough sex, choking, riding crop, shibari, degradation, emotional breakdown, crying, aftercare

A/N: I loved this request! Angst is like some of my favorite stuff to write! 🥲 I love a good sad story.

Part One

The morgue was cold. But it wasn't as cold as your hands. You stood at the sink, scrubbing at them with soap and water. You hadn't realized the hot water had been running so long; it had turned icy cold. But you had to keep scrubbing them because you could still feel the tacky blood coating them.

Their blood, their blood that was hot and flowed through your fingers when you tried to stop the bleeding. Blood that stained your clothes. The blood is quite literally on your hands.

You tried, tried so damn hard to save the assistant supervisor who was with you on your mission. The information the higher-ups had given you was wrong. The curse you had exorcized wasn't the only one lingering in the building. There had been two, and after the first was taken care of, you and the assistant supervisor were headed out. The second curse attacked. Slicing at you, you had barely managed to dodge it. Getting cut on the cheek. The young woman, however, had her blood splattered on the concrete.

After the other spirit was dealt with, you rushed to her side. She cried as you tried to tell her she would be okay as you called for Ijichi. But the cut was too deep; she lost too much blood, and you watched the light fade from her eyes. Leaving you alone, stained with her blood.

Your mind snapped out of the bloody memory as someone turned the water off. They gently grabbed your hands, drying them off, pulling you out of the trance you were in. Shoko eyes you before gently leading you to the chairs lining the walls, ushering you to sit down. Reluctantly, you listened, plopping down and looking at your hands.

“I'm going to call Satoru and Suguru to tell them what's happened.”

Your head jerked up, “N-No, don't do that. I’m fine!” Shoko shook her head, leaning against the wall. “Shoko, please, really, I’m fine, I swear.”

“Y/N, I left ten minutes ago. You were washing your hands then, and I found you still washing them? You're in shock; I can't let you leave like this.”

“Please, I don't want to bother them. They just got back from a rough mission.”

“And you didn't?”

Your friend's words were searing into you like hot needles. She was right in a sense; you had just gotten back from a rough mission, but so had your boyfriends. They were gone for a week. Having to travel overseas to deal with several grade-one curses. The two of them handled it, taking down the curse users with them. But when they got home this morning, they headed to the room jet lagged and annoyed over each other, claiming they needed space and sleep.

If Shoko called them, they would be more irritable. You wanted them to get as much rest as they could. They worked their asses off. You being in shock was a minimal issue to involve them in. You would be okay—eventually.

“Y/N, I’m not comfortable letting you go home alone,” Shoko repeated, sitting on one of the chairs beside you.

“Okay, what about Yaga or Nanami then?”

You were so thankful that Shoko agreed with your proposition that Ijichi drove you and Nanami back to your house. Nanami was quiet the whole time, stealing the occasional glance at you, watching as you stared at your hands. It wasn't until Ijichi parked in front of your house that Nanami cleared his throat, catching your attention.

“I think you need to take a couple of days off.” His glasses gleamed. “I'm going to talk to Yaga about it. You're in no state to work right now. You need time to process what happened.”

Swallowing hard, you opened the door to the car. “I appreciate your concern, Nanami, but I’ll be okay.” You attempted to give him your best smile. “I got this.” The look on your friend's face screamed that he knew you were lying.

“Regardless of your ploy to fool me or downplay how much you're hurting, I will still talk to Principal Yaga.”

“And I’ll see you tomorrow. Thanks again, Nanami.”

You waved the car off before rubbing Your still-freezing hands together. Things would be better once you got inside. Satoru and Suguru were back, and you could relax, forget about work, and just be together.

As you approached the door, Satoru came out, black sunglasses on as he shut the door. “Oh, hi Satoru, welcome home!” You put on your best smile, approaching him.

“Hi, I'm heading out.” His tone was sharp and as cold as your hands.

“You’re not staying here?”

He pulled his sunglasses down, revealing his blue eyes. “No, I need to get out. Suguru is driving me insane. I’m going shopping.” He waved you off as if dismissing you.

“Oh, well, if you give me a few minutes, I could go with you?”

“Don’t take this the wrong way.” He kept walking, not even looking back at you. “I don’t wanna be around either of you right now.”

Ouch, that stung. But you just gave him a weak smile before heading inside. “Be safe.”

Alright, so Satoru needed some space, but Suguru might be in a better mood. Heading towards his room, you knocked and waited for him to respond. Only he didn’t. Your stomach twisted in knots as you hit again, a little harder this time.

A loud groan sounded behind the door before you listened to the floorboards creaking. The door flung open, and Suguru cocked an eyebrow as he eyed you. He looked exhausted and pissy, but he didn’t say anything as he glared at you.

“W-Welcome home.”

“Mhm.”

“Uhm, Satoru left. Do you wanna watch a movie or get something to eat?”

Suguru shook his head, dark streams of hair falling in his face. “No.” Your cold fingers twitched as you took a deep breath. Just as you opened your mouth, Suguru sighed, jabbing his thumb against the center of his forehead. “Y/N, please, I don’t have the patience or energy to entertain you. Please go away.” The door slammed in your face, leaving you staring at the wood grain in stunned silence.

Okay, well, that was unexpected. When the boys came back from a mission like this, you all usually had sex, taking the aggression out in the rawest way you could. This cold shoulder attitude was something new. Alien and strange, making my stomach ache.

After last week and especially today, you hoped to spend time with them. Snuggling them, forgetting about the horrors you had witnessed. Instead, you have a door in your face.

Nothing you could say or do to change their minds and attitudes. Everyone dealt with anger, stress, and exhaustion in their ways. Theirs happened to be wanting to spend time by themselves. Which was perfectly fine, but they could have at least been a bit nicer about it.

You spent the entirety of your night in your room after a hot shower. You lay there hugging your pillow as you stared blankly at the wall. Every time you started to doze off, you would see blood splattering the floor, hear wheezed, gurgled breathing, and see the light fade from that poor girl's eyes. You hardly slept at all, restlessly tossing and turning.

You were relieved when your alarm went off, ushering you to start your day. You got ready, and not once did you see your partners. Both doors to their rooms shut. Neither one came out to see you off, making your stomach turn.

At work, you put on a smile, trying to joke with the first and second years, but everyone could see your fragile state. From the dark circles under your eyes to how you disassociated during training. So you weren’t surprised when Principal Yaga came into your classroom and told you that you would be taking the next week off.

“You need to focus on recovering. If you need more time, call me.”

His words hummed in your ears all the way home. How pathetic were you? Allowing a young girl to be killed. A mandatory week off of work, and on top of all that, your partners were pissy and avoiding you. This, indeed, was one of the lowest two days of your life. You can’t remember the last time you’d felt this lowly, lost in the dark.

“I’m home.” You announced as you entered the house. Not expecting a response since both of them weren’t up when you left.

“Y/N,” Satoru said as you felt him press against your back. “Need you to do us a favor.”

Your body tensed as a blindfold was placed over your eyes. “You’ll need to call out of work for the next few days,” Suguru added as hands groped your breasts.

“Yeah, not a problem.”

They needed this, and if it would mean they felt better, that you could focus on pleasure, you’d gladly do what they wanted. And what they wanted was rough carnal sex. The type of sex that hard blue ropes digging into your wrists, bound behind your back. Intricate shibari dug into your chest, your breasts being squeezed. Everything felt so good, but it was so tight it almost hurt.

Your mouth was wrapped around Satoru’s cock. He was fucking your throat, yanking your hair painfully as he moaned as Suguru fucked you from behind. With every other thrust, Suguru slapped the leather riding crop over your ass. Your cries around Satoru’s cock had them both groaning.

“What a fuckin’ slut.” Satoru whined out, thrusting deeper down your throat, making you gag.

Suguru smacked the crop harder against you. “A dirty fuckin’ slut.” Another smack, followed by another, and it just kept going and going.

You cried around Gojo harder as Suguru continued his whipping behind you. “M-Mmm!”

“Mmm~?” Satoru mocked you. “Fuckin’ pathetic.” His cock hit the back of your throat painfully. Making your tears stain the blindfold as Suguru’s pace picked up.

“Pathetic whiny bitch in heat.” The crop hit your other cheek. “Absolutely pathetic”

You weren’t sure what hurt more. The crop and their cold, harsh words. They were never this mean. Calling you pathetic hurts because that’s who you saw yourself for the last few days. The ropes began to sting like your eyes; more tears stained the blindfold. You could handle this; they should be done soon; they needed this.

You couldn’t save that girl; the least you could do was help your boyfriends feel better.

“Pathetic worthless girl~ all you’re good for is this.” Gojo yanked your hair, and you saw splatters of blood. You were worthless at that moment.

A sharp sting from the riding crop. “Yeah, a good-for-nothing slut. All you’re good for is being our personal cock sleeve.” Good for nothing, yeah, you just let that girl die.

“Fucking stupid bitch.” The dark-haired man watched as Satoru’s face scrunched up in pleasure. “You're going to make him cum.” Long fingers trailed under the twisted ropes, yanking them hard. “That’s all you’re good for bitch.”

The ropes burned, digging into your flesh. Slicing into you like—like the girl you let die.

Suguru was the first to notice something was wrong. Your hands were pale. They trembled along with the rest of your body. He tossed the riding crop to the side, his dark eyes focusing on his white-haired boyfriend, who was still in utter bliss.

“Satoru.” His voice wasn’t filled with the same heated lust from before, and you noticed. “Stop, pull out.”

Satoru was about to complain, but as he peered at Suguru with half-lidded eyes, he knew he was serious. He listened to both of them pulling out of your mouth and pussy, watching as you coughed and gagged before those gags turned into wretched sobs. You curled in on yourself, sobbing louder. Images of blood, the morgue table, and blood spinning down a sink flashed through your mind.

The boys jumped into action instantly. They removed the blindfold and the bindings around you, allowing you to curl into a fetal position. They watched your trembling body before looking at each other, mentally asking the other what they should do. But it was you who spoke first.

“I-I’m sorry!” A broken cry sounded from the back of your throat.

Satoru gently pulled you into his arms, leaning against the bed's headboard. You sobbed into his chest while Suguru gently rubbed your back. Both of them were silent as you cried two days’ worth of pain out. Guilt seeped into the muscles and none of your body, for the assistant supervisor, for ruining the mood, for being so weak.

“Don’t. Please don’t apologize,” Suguru whispered, leaning down and kissing your cheek. “You have nothing to apologize for.”

“This is on us. We went way too far.” Satoru added his hands, gently massaging your shoulders.

You babbled into his chest as your other hand grabbed Suguru’s, holding it tight. “I-I messed up this week! And now this!” You could feel both of their muscles tensing at your words.

“What do you—”

“Mean you messed up?”

The events of yesterday spewed out of you like a water fountain. You sobbed, going over the details while both men gently caressed and listened to you in silence. The moment you finished spilling out your guts, Satoru and Suguru shared a look.

“And I didn’t make it any better.” You sniffled, looking up at Satoru. Ivory cheeks were flushed as he ran his hand through his hair. “Telling you I didn’t want to be near you.”

Suguru let out a cold, harsh chuckle. “I wasn’t any better. I told Y/N I didn’t have the time nor the patience to entertain her.” You hummed, relaxing against the duo, feeling more calm than you had in the last twenty-four hours.

“Then we were too rough. I feel like a total dick

“Same here,” Suguru planted a kiss on your shoulder, his hand gently rubbing your arm. “What can we do to make it up to you?”

“I’m honestly so tired. I just want to snuggle in bed.”

Your request wasn’t ignored. They both got up; Suguru changed the sheets and picked up Satoru’s room. While you stood under the hot water in the shower, Satoru gently washed your hair. Long fingers massaging your scalp before the curtain opened and Suguru stepped in behind you. Their hands gently slid over your slicked skin. Washing, massaging, and worshiping you.

Their sweet caresses made your eyes heavier as the tense, sore muscles relaxed. While you longed to take care of their needs most of the time. Being held like this, sandwiched between the two strongest sorcerers in the world, made you feel safer. With them at your side, you knee deep down in your gut that everything would be okay.

After the most relaxing shower you’d ever taken was over, you slid on your pajamas before crawling into bed, collapsing into the plush mattress and expensive Egyptian silk sheets. Satoru crawled in with you as Suguru pulled you to rest on his chest while Satoru spooned you. Their hands were so soft and gentle. Their fingers and warm palms were like your own personal lullaby.

“Shh,” Suguru hushed, “we got you.”

Satoru nodded against your shoulder and the crook of your neck. “You can rest. If you have a nightmare, we’ll be beside you.” Satoru grabbed one hand as Suguru grabbed the other.

“Rest.”

The warmth of their hands in yours had your cold hands finally returning to normal. Sometimes, days could be terrible. Making you question everything you do. You were happy to know your boyfriends would be there to help bring some of the light back into your life. That was something you would firmly be able to stand by and defend, especially when their arms were wrapped so tightly around you.

good riddance live

[Curse of Bad Lucks] - [SKZ!Felix X M!Reader]

"You were a wonderful experience."

"You were everything."

M/N could only smile bitterly as he turn on his heel, walking away from none other than, Lee YongBok, Felix, who is now, officially, his once upon a time the love of his life. It was finally done. He had finally ended it. It hurts. He could literally feel everything shattering apart. M/N sucked in a deep breath, painfully, as he sat on the bench, looking towards the well lit panaromic view of Jeju.

Felix was just a wonderful experience.

Meanwhile, Felix fell on his knees as he watches M/N walk away from him. M/N had ended things with him and he knew he was in disbelieve. 18 years, 18 fucking years that they had been together, gone, just like that. They were married for god sake and they have a child. A 4 years old little boy that they raised together. How could M/N do this to him? Where had it gone wrong?

M/N was everything.

18 years ago.....

"See that barista? He is hot." Lee YongBok whispered to his close friend, Hwang Hyunjin.

Hwang Hyunjin peeks over his shoulder seeing the (H/C) tall lad. He looked young and Felix was right, he is hot, "he is good looking."

"I'm going to hit on him." Felix made his way to the counter, stopping in front of the (H/C). "Hi!"

"Hi," Felix could feel his breath hitched when M/N looked up and his (E/C) looked into his. M/N is gorgeous, "i...let...let me get my colleague. My korean is still not good."

"Oh no, it's fine. I'm australian so, you can speak english to me."

M/N flashes him a gentle smile, "thank you. How can i help you for the day?"

Felix fished out his phone, "i want to bring you out on a date so, if i could, can i get your number?" He giggles when M/N's eyes widened, evidently taken aback by the sudden confession. "You are really cute and i could get myself a boyfriend anytime soon. Life doesn't seem to get any younger, you know."

"I...Wait...you..." M/N jumbled on his words, "why?"

"What?"

"Why me?" M/N abruptly stopped in the midst of cleaning the counter and walked in front of Felix. It was Felix turn to be taken aback at how different their height difference was. M/N was two feet taller than him. "Why me? I...I'm just a barista. I have sugar in my pockets and coffee stains on my socks. I am cursed with bad lucks. I am poor. I am stupid and worthless and i am very sure that i'll ruin your life. Like i said i'm cursed with bad lucks. I'm cursed so, if you are an angel in disguise, please, run for your life."

"You are so dark and twisty." Felix said, "What if i'm a devil in disguise? Do i still need to run for my life too?"

M/N chuckled, "usually, the conversation stops there and i have no replies for what you've just asked."

"Well since you dont know what would a devil in disguise do, why not give it a try first?" Felix convinced. "I'll bring you out on dates, we can get to know each other. It doesnt have to be expensive or anything. I'm not so high maintenance and it's very easy to make me happy. I appreciate the small little things. You can get me a cup of coffee and i will grin for the entire day, i will....."

"Okay." M/N cut him off, giving him a gentle smile, "My name is F/N M/N and can i make you a cup of coffee? It's on me."

"Okay M/N," Felix said, "My name is Lee YongBok, Felix and i would like to accept your coffee offer."

15 years ago.....

"So, want to tell me how you ended up all soaked and smelly?" Felix grimaced as he turns the water on to fill the tub.

"There was a cat." M/N simply replied as he stripped off his clothes, entering the tub and submerged himself into the water, "a black cat and i should have known better that black cats are almost like a combo to my cursed life."

Felix giggled as he massages M/N's hair with the lavender scented shampoo, "let me guess. You probably saved the cat from a drain and you slipped and fall into it."

"Has this hapened before?"

"Twice." Felix replied. "but, hey. On the bright side, you aren't hurt this time. You came home the last two times with broken arms and legs. This time, you're just, smelly."

M/N couldnt help but, grin so widely that his cheeks start to hurt, "i guess my dark and twisty life is coming to a turn with my very own sunshine by my side. I love you."

"I love you so much more." Felix smiles and pecks M/N on the lips.

10 years ago.....

"I DID IT! WE DID IT!" M/N couldn't contain his excitement as he barged into the house. Felix who was folding their clothes on the couch was taken aback when M/N lounge himself onto him, knocking them off the couch and down to the floor. "I can finally open my own cafe with my very own saving and it's just a block away from here!"

"OMG! LOVE! I am so proud of you!" Felix exclaimed. They were both on the floor, Felix on top of the younger who hugged him tightly as they laid on the ground. "I'm so fucking proud of you!"

Prior to where they were, 7 years ago, M/N had told his boyfriend his life plans and Felix supported him unconditionally. It had been rough for both of them. M/N was almost working 18 hours a day to earn the money he needed and Felix had to focus on the upcoming of Stray Kids. The amount they spent together could be easily counted by fingers. Within a month, they could only meet for a day where M/N finally took the day off and so did Felix. Despite that, they made it through each day for the entire 7 years, promising themselves that once they reached their goal, they will live a life that they desired.

"I'm so happy. Thank you, thank you, thank you Lee YongBok." M/N buried his face into Felix's neck.

Felix smiles and embrace the other tightly, "We did it love. I got something to tell you too. I will be leaving the music industry."

"Wait, what?! You love music, you love your fans, you love STRAY KIDS. Please, you don't have to do it for me." M/N jolted up.

"I do. I do love all of them but, i love you the most. I'm not doing this for you. I am doing this for me. It's time for me to slow down. I'm not getting any younger now and, i want to retire. I want to be the boyfriend who will sit in the cafe and stare at his boyfriend all day long and make sure no one is flirting with him," Felix chuckled, "I will be like those typical managers who pretend to be busy on their phones but in reality I'm just watching as the world goes by."

"Marry me, Lee Yongbok." M/N confessed. "I...I dont have a ring right now but, will you marry me? I will make you the happiest man alive. I will bring breakfast to our bed every morning. I will bring you out on dates. I will be the richest some day soon that we can stay home all day with each other in our cozy apartment. I will give you the..."

M/N was cut off when Felix slammed their lips together and as if the time froze, they kissed passionately not caring the world existed.

"Yes, Yes. I will marry you."

5 years ago.....

"Hi love."

"Sunshine, you're here!" M/N grinned as he puts down the cloth he used to wipe the counter, heading towards Felix with an open arm. Felix jumped into his husband's arms and greeted him with a kiss. "How did your day go?"

"Wonderful." Felix pecks his cheeks and they settled down at the corner of the cafe, reserved specially just for them, "I met Lee Know Hyung and Jisung Hyung. Their baby have grown so big. He's a big boy now. He can put his own pants and put his plate in the sink."

"Awww, that's great." M/N cooed. "So, while we are at the topic, i was wondering if you would want to have a baby with me."

Felix giggled, "oh love. I wish i could bear your children but, we aren't exactly living in a ABO universe."

"I mean with the amount of me breeding into you, we could've get 10 kids now." M/N winked.

"EWWWWW BOSS! The cafe isn't exactly empty!" yelled an employee of his.

"You're suppose to be working, not eavedropping." M/N laughed when he sees Felix red face. "Sunshine, i really mean what i said. We could get a surrogate or we coul--"

"Yes!" Felix answered, "Let's have a kid together."

"I love you." M/N kissed his husband.

"I love you so much more."

4 years ago.....

"Sunshine?" M/N whispered as he pokes his head into their bedroom.

"Hi love. Come in." Felix beckoned, "I just got him down."

M/N tiptoes across the room and slide under the covers beside Felix, "I am so sorry i had to ditch you halfway."

"Hey, don't be sorry love." Felix shifted as little as possible to face his husband, "we weren't expecting the cafe to catch on fire. How's the employees?"

"No one was injured, thankfully and they are doing an investigation on the cause of fire." M/N explained as he tugs his head onto his husband's chest, cuddling closely to inhale the oh-so-familiar calming scent of his husband.

"Thank goodness. How about you, love? Are you okay?"

M/N sighed inaudibly, "I....I'm scared. Sunshine, i'm terrified."

"Hey, you're okay. You're okay." Felix assures planting kisses to the crown of M/N's head as he caresses his hair tenderly. "You're okay love."

"It's just," M/N took a deep breath, "it's as if the curse of bad lucks are latching on me again and i'm so terrified that it'll hurt you and Woojin. I'll never forgive myself if any of you are hurt."

"Hey, don't be so dark and twisty." Felix chuckled, "i know love. I get where you are coming from but, let's not jump into conclusion okay? Maybe it was just a coincidence."

"I...I don't know." Felix could feel tears drenching his shirt.

"You're okay baby. You're okay." Felix shushes as he embrace his husband tighter. "We're here for you. Woojin and i will always be by your side no matter what curse you have, okay?"

"I love you." M/N sniffed.

"I love you so much more."

2 years ago.....

"F/N M/N. Which bed is he in?" Felix could feel the anxiety crept into him as he barge through the doors of the emergency department. Woojin who was cradled in his arms could sense his parent anxiousness and he squirms uncomfortably.

"I'm sorry and you are?" The nurse asked.

"F/N YongBok. I'm his husband. Please, tell me where he is." Felix pleaded.

"Oh, he's in bed 10 sir. Right this way." The nurse showed the way.

Felix couldn't help the tears streaming down his cheek as he rushed over to the said bed.

"Mama cry no." Little Woojin frowned, his lips jutting out. "Mama no cry."

"I'm sorry baby." Felix kissed his forehead. He knew he shouldn't be crying but, he couldn't help it. He needed to make sure M/N is fine first.

"Sunshine?"

It wasn't a lie when people said that legs can turn into jelly. If it wasn't the doctor who attended to M/N that catch him, he would've landed on the floor, probably hitting his head at the corner of the hospital bed.

"I'm okay sunshine. I'm okay. I promise." M/N repeated as he took Felix and Woojin into his arms. "I'm okay sunshine. I'm okay baby."

"Papa ouchie."

M/N chuckled as he took Woojin in his arms, "yes, papa ouchie. Small ouchie."

"Papa. Mama cry papa ouchie." Little Woojin pouted.

"I'm sorry. Papa no ouchie, mama no cry okay?" M/N assured as he slides his hand around Felix's waist. "Sunshine? I promise you, i'm okay."

"Seventh time. It's the seventh time you had to come to the ER this year. You end up with so many injuries all the time. You said you were just going to get cereal and i end up getting a call from the ER that you were hit with a baseball bat? I swear, i am going to lock you in our house and we will never leave the house ever again." Felix cried as he leaned onto his husband's shoulder, "i'm locking you up in the house."

"Okay sunshine. I'll be happily locked with you and Woojin."

"I love you."

"I love you so much more."

9 hour ago.....

"Have fun Mama! Papa!" Woojin waved at his parents before running back into his Uncle Lee Know and Uncle Jisung's hotel room to play with their son.

"Thank you for watching him." Felix said to the couple in front of them.

The two family were on their vacation in Jeju Island and since M/N and Felix had watched over MinSung yesterday whilst the parents were on their date, it was M/N and Felix's turn today.

"Oh, don't sweat about it. You guys have fun! Now, go. The night is still young." Jisung kicked them out.

M/N and Felix spent the rest of the day living their life like they were teenagers all over again. They went to the theme park followed by an ice cream stall and then a dinner reservation. They were just living their dream life fully.

"Sunshine?" M/N softly calls out as they walk through the quiet street of Jeju, hands intertwined, on their way back to their hotel.

"Yes, love?"

"If one day i am not around, can you promise me some things?"

Felix stopped on his track, "is that a way of you telling me that you are getting old?"

M/N chuckled, "maybe. I am being serious though. Can you please promise me some things?" Felix was not going to lie but, an uncomfortable churn in his stomach begin to arise.

"Yes love. Anything."

M/N took both of his hands in his reminding Felix of the time when they took their vow the exact same way right now or the night when M/N had proposed to him. M/N always held his hands when he needed to talk about important things taht could mean life or death.

"Sunshine, when i am gone, i want you to promise me that you will get over me within 7 days. I want you to promise me that you will forget about me thoroughly. I want you to move on with your life. I want you to inherit all my inheritance. I want you to raise Woojin with the strength of your sunshine heart. I want you to stay strong. I want you to make sure you and Woojin eat proper meals, always celebrate birthdays and occasions no matter how busy you are. I want Woojin to inherit my business. Woojin will grow up wonderfully. I want you to promise me to love yourself unconditionally. Please, promise me that." M/N took Felix's hand to his lips and tenderly kissed it. "I love you so much. I love you so fucking much."

"You.....you are scaring me. Is everything okay?"

"Sunshine, please. Promise me that." M/N pleaded.

"No, i can't suddenly promise you as if you will be gone in another 5 minutes. I can't just lie to myself to make a promise that i will get over you in 7 days. I spend half my life loving you and never regretted it ever in my life. You can't expect me to just forget you just like that! We are married and we have a kid!" Felix took a deep breath, calming himself down, "love, tell me, what's wrong?"

"I am divorcing you. I am done with you. The lawyers will send in the papers in a week and tonight will be last time you see me."

"But, why?"

Felix heartbreak is grief that comes in waves, gruelling. It is a shard in his guts that stabbed him over and over again. It feels like death just the same as bereavement and in that quiet second, it chokes the breath from his body and short circuitshis mind. What was once whole is shattered; where once was peace is emptiness, echoes of a love he put his everything into.

"You were a wonderful experience."

"You were everything."

Present.....

Ring....Ring....Ring

"I did everything you told me to." M/N spat into the answered phone.

"You did great honey."

"and as you promised, don't even lay a finger on them. if you hurt my sunshine and my child, I WILL KILL YOU, Hwang Hyunjin." M/N growled.

He could hear Hyunjin's sinister laugh in echoing through the phone, "i promised honey. I'm sending someone over to get you now. I'll see you in a couple of hours."

The call ended and M/N slams his phone to the ground, breaking it into pieces. AFterall, his life was still a curse of bad lucks. M/N couldn't help but cried his heart out, screaming in despair.

And I'm just supposed to be okay?

Bonus

masterlist

my ao3

kakashi hatake

fluff

breakfast with ninken kakashi x gn!reader, no warnings

changing my major kakagai, no warnings

a kunoichi's surprise kakashi x fem!reader, pregnancy

cold brew kakashi x gn!reader, coffee shop au

perfect for you kakashi x gn!reader, marijuana use

cupcake of the week kakashi x gn!reader, bakery au

together kakairu, cooking together, iruka adopts naruto

brownies kakairu, iruka adopts naruto, domestic

angst

orange sherbet kakagai, suicide tw, self harm mention, overdose tw, depression tw

friend killer kakashi kakagai, mention of gore, mention of vomit

another year gen, suicidal ideation, birthday fic

mirror gen, suicide attempt, character death

dysthymia 02 / 03 / 04 / 05 / 06 / 07 / 08 / 09 / 10 / 11 / 12/ 13 ongoing, depression, check chapters for tws

kabuto yakushi

STEAM, not STEM kabuto x sai, college au, EtL ish

when you thought I was asleep kabuto x sai, hurt-ish/comfort, domestic fluff

pop quiz kabuto x kakashi, established relationship, hospital angst

shino aburame

shino's strategy fluff, shinoten, mention of akamaru biting

shisui uchiha

operation itachi's birthday fluff, no warnings

tsunade

who tells your story angst, war era, mention of death

The fact that I am intrigued with this ship is just, WOW

pop quiz

this is my gift to nekomancer for @the-kakashi-lounge-blog holiday exchange!!

ao3

wc: 3.2k

summary: kabuto wakes up in the hospital and kakashi is there for him. kakashi x kabuto established relationship as adults

tw: hospital, blood mention, mention of injuries, memory loss

Everything hurt. Every inch, every fiber of his being, hurt. His eyes stung as his vision transitioned from fuzzy black to vague red, only to be cursed by blinding white. He groaned, moving to lay his arm over his face to protect against this undetermined threat. Then he attempted to open his eyes again to find the results exactly the same as the previous test. Had he not changed the variable?

He felt out his right arm, noting each chakra node as he sensed down from his shoulder. The stretch intensified the ache, then allowed some relief after a moment. Gradually, he wiggled his fingers. He was pleased to feel them follow direction. He continued with a wrist rotation. Satisfied with that range of movement, he advanced to checking the bend of his elbow. It appeared to flex correctly. Excellent. Finally, the shoulder. Thankfully, it responded, and he was able to block the light from streaming into his eyes as he began the arduous process of opening them.

After two or three minutes of this, he was successfully able to take in visual cues. Ceiling tiles. So he was inside. Fluorescent lighting. Inside a government-funded building. Primarily white, with metal accents. Hospital. Delightful.

In the corner of the room, someone snored.

He took a moment to take in as much of the room as he could before moving, to give himself as much knowledge as possible before possibly alerting this person to his consciousness. There was no way to know how safe he was with this person, and they likely had the home advantage of entering the space while awake. Once he had memorized the layout of the room and found three weapons within reach, he began the process of sitting up to get a look at his companion.

The man in the corner looked rough. His clothes were torn and dirty, stained with what was likely blood that had now dried and was flaking off. There was a layer of dried sweat clinging against his skin as tightly as the fabric that covered his lower face. His hair had a clump of mud in it and laid in every direction except down. His forehead protector was pulled down over one eye, a Leaf village insignia carved into the metal. Fairly standard shinobi post-mission aesthetic, honestly. The only thing that stood out was the well-worn orange novel held loosely in his hand. The back cover had the required content warning symbol embossed in red, marking it a pornographic book. Given the angle it currently laid at, as well as the shinobi’s chin drifting slowly toward his chest, it was clear that he had fallen asleep while reading it.

Who on earth falls asleep reading porn in a hospital room?

Someone in the hallway passed by the open door, stopping for a double-take when they noticed him sitting up in bed. “Dr. Haruno! He’s—”

Before they could finish their thought, a flash of pink darted around their frame and approached him with one hand glowing a muted pistachio green. The doctor hovered her hand over his body, running along its entire surface with a concentration on his chest and head. This went on in silence for nearly thirty seconds before she took a step back.

“Welcome back to the land of the living, glasses.” She snapped, then reached for the bedside table and handed him a bundle of wire and glass. “Suppose I can’t call you glasses ‘till you’ve got these on, though.”

He analyzed them in his hands, realizing the pieces were folded together. He kept his movements smooth to cover the uncertainty as he unfolded the contraption. Muscle memory took over and he flipped them around, bringing them up to his face and slotting them over his ears. Suddenly the pink blur became a person, and the snoring man became significantly more exhausted.

She reached for a clipboard and sat down. “How are you feeling?”

He took a moment, considered the dull ache registered by each nerve ending, and replied. “My third chakra node in my left foot is considerably damaged. Two of the nodes near my ribs are also in bad shape, though the rib itself may be broken and that could explain it. My head is throbbing, my mouth is dry, and I’m experiencing sensitivity to light. What am I looking at, chakra exhaustion?”

She nodded, making quick notes with her tongue tucked beneath her teeth. “Yeah, you presented with acute chakra exhaustion, though not a severe case. We were much more concerned with the abdominal bleeding, caused by several broken ribs. One of them is still on the mend. There’s only so much healing a body can take at once, you know how it is. A couple more sessions and that’ll be fixed.” Finished scribbling, she slapped the pen against the clipboard. “Your biggest concern was the head injury, though. That’s what we’ve been focused on. It’s great to see you awake.”

He shifted, struggling to push himself into a better sitting position. “How long have I been out?”

She leaned forward to help him into a more comfortable spot. “Four days. Well, three and some change.”

“And has he,” he nodded toward the sleeping nin, “been here the whole time?”

Something in the woman’s expression softened and her eyes filled with pain and something else he didn’t understand. “He has, yeah. He refused to leave your side, even if someone else promised to take over for him.” She cleared her throat, the mist over her eyes fading, replaced by a glimmer. “He insisted on being here when you woke up, and now he’s sleeping. Even without leaving the room, he’s still late to everything important,” she chuckled.

“He seems very…dedicated,” he murmured.

She grinned. “Yeah, he’s dedicated to two things: you and that stupid book.” She stood up, moving silently as she approached the man in the mask. Delicately, she stretched her hand out, reaching for the novel. As soon as her fingertips grazed the off-white pages, the book slammed shut and she jumped back.

“Not on your life, Sakura,” the man yawned, sliding the book into a pocket of his vest. After shaking off the rest he clearly needed, he turned toward the bed and froze. “Kabuto?”

He felt a tug of familiarity and nodded, throat suddenly dry. “It’s me.”

The shinobi was by him in a second, arms wrapped gingerly around his torso, squeezing as tight as they dared with a broken rib, and one hand lost itself in his hair. The man’s face was buried in his neck, and he smelled comforting. Kabuto found himself returning the hug, gripping onto the fabric of the military-issued vest. After a tense moment, the two separated.

“How are you? Are you okay? I didn’t—I couldn’t—I’m so sorry, Kabuto, I—”

Sakura pushed his chair directly next to his bed and guided the man into it. “Kakashi, deep breaths, everything’s going to be fine. Don’t make me admit you for a panic attack.”

Kakashi. Why was that so significant?

Kakashi cleared his throat, shaking his head and settling back into the chair. “I know, I just—” he took his hand, entwining his left fingers around Kabuto’s right to clasp them together. “I’m sorry I couldn’t prevent this from happening to you. I knew the mission was too dangerous for you to go alone, but you wouldn’t let me go with you.”

“I don’t know why I would refuse your help,” Kabuto said, absentmindedly rubbing his thumb across Kakashi’s hand. “You seem fairly capable.”

Sakura nodded. “He is when he keeps his nose out of that book.”

His gaze shifted down, watching his thumb reassure the shinobi next to him as if he had done it before. The soldier’s hands were calloused, but not dry or rough, and his fingernails were trimmed short. He wore a plain band, black, embossed with a diamond grid pattern, on his ring finger. It glinted dully, as if he had been wearing it for some time now.

Kakashi noticed his interest in their hands together and brought his other hand to wrap around Kabuto’s. He squeezed his hand, imparting some kind of meaning, then reached over to the bedside table where the glasses had been, and picked up something small and silver. Delicately, he took Kabuto’s left hand and slid the ring onto his fourth finger. It fit perfectly, and it sported a matching grid pattern and similar level of wear.

Ah.

“I was starting to worry you wouldn’t wake up,” Kakashi murmured. “I don’t know what I would’ve done without you.”

Kabuto bit back a bitterness that was rising in his throat. “You may have to find out.”

He gripped his hand tighter, shaking his head. “You’re going to be fine, Kabu. Sakura and the medical team have been working on you every day. You’re gonna come home any day now, right?”

Sakura, this time, did not nod. She made eye contact with Kabuto and reached out for her clipboard, making a note. Raising a flashlight, she stepped toward the bed.

“Go ahead and follow this light with just your eyes, please…” She moved it in lines, up and down and side to side. “Excellent. Now, can you tell me how old you are?”

Kabuto opened his mouth, ready to answer, but no words came. Sakura’s forehead crinkled, and she continued. “That’s okay. Can you tell me what year it is?”

His response was the same.

“What about who the Hokage is?”

Kakashi looked back and forth at them in confusion. “Kabuto, what’s going on? Just answer her, it’s simple.”

Kabuto cleared his throat. “I know that the first Hokage was Hashirama Senju. I know that my favorite color is purple. I know that your name is Sakura Haruno.”

“And my name?”

He swallowed, staring straight ahead. “I believe she called you Kakashi.”

The hand holding his grew cold, but the grip did not relinquish. “Kabuto. What’s my last name?”

They sat together in a painful, tense silence that grew worse with every passing second. Finally, Kabuto answered, “The same as mine, I think. But I don’t remember what that is.”

Before Kakashi could reply, Sakura jumped in. “Sometimes that happens with head injuries. It just takes a moment to remember silly things, but a lot of the time the memory comes back within an hour of waking up.”

Kakashi became stiff, his shoulders rigid and his face unreadable. “You said ‘a lot of the time’. Give me a number.”

Sakura flipped through pages on the clipboard, beginning an elaborately vague answer. Kakashi grabbed the thin piece of plastic, holding on to the metal clip at the top as if clinging to his own life. “Sakura. That’s my husband in this bed. We’ve been together for the better part of a decade. One more time—give me a number.”

She looked over Kabuto, then locked eyes with Kakashi, transitioning from friend to doctor. “Forty percent of patients. Thirty percent see memory restoration in the first twenty-four hours. Twenty within two weeks.”

Kabuto looked up, the light glinting off his glasses. “And the other ten percent?”

She swallowed and hardened her stance. “The remaining ten percent are unlikely to recall lost memories at all. And that’s further complicated in patients with a prior history of amnesia.”

The look on Kakashi’s face made it clear that he apparently had a history of amnesia.

“But we’re not concerned about that right now, okay? You’ve only been awake half an hour. Give it time, don’t stress out about it, and we’ll see what happens.” Sakura turned toward the door. “I’ll be back this afternoon for another round of healing on that rib. We’ll assess your memory then if you’d like. Sound good?”

Kabuto nodded, feeling strangely distant. “Sounds great, Dr. Haruno.”

With that, she left the room and took the only thing preventing sadness and awkward silence from setting in with her. Kabuto fidgeted with his blanket, noting the scratchy texture and trying to decide if it was nice, or familiar, or if other blankets felt different. He was pretty sure they could be softer. The one in his home was softer. And grey, he thought.

“Shuriken print?”

Kakashi looked up, startled by the intrusion to the silence. “Sorry?”

Kabuto raised a fistful of fabric up. “The blanket in the house. It’s grey with shuriken all over it, right?”

Kakashi’s face lit up, and he leaned forward. “It is, yeah! You chose the sheets; they have little beakers and test tubes all over them. The dogs hate them.”

“We have dogs?”

The light dimmed a bit, but the resiliency powered on. “We do. Kind of a lot, actually. They’re summons, though, so they’re not all in the house all the time. They don’t love your experiments—something about the smells—so they leave your lab alone, but there’s usually one or two in the house at any time. I think they’re all away now, though. They don’t like the apartment when it’s empty.”

Kabuto, on instinct, brought a hand up to Kakashi’s face. “You should go home. Take a shower, get something to eat.” His hand drifted into the mess of silver hair, then retreated back to his side. “You’re tired, Kakashi. I’m okay. I’ll be here when you get back.”

He shook his head, tucking his chin down to his chest. “I’m not going anywhere. Especially not now that you’re awake.”

They sat again in a silence for a few moments.

“Do you want a hair tie?”

It was Kabuto’s turn to be startled. “Sorry?

Kakashi pulled a thin black elastic band off of his wrist and offered it to him. “Your hair. You normally wear it pulled back in a ponytail. You say it helps you focus better if your hair isn’t touching your face, but I think you just don’t like styling it in the mornings.”

Slowly, Kabuto took the band and flexed his fingers against it, testing the stretch. After a moment, he raked his hands through his hair, pulling the silver strands up into a high ponytail. He fumbled with the elastic, unsure how tight to wrap it.

It was clear Kakashi was smiling beneath his mask. “Is that… Is that what feels natural to you?”

Kabuto felt the silliness but couldn’t pinpoint what was wrong. “Not exactly… Do I normally have a mirror?”

He nodded. “You do, yes. Do you want me to try and find one here?”

The tie snapped, stinging against Kabuto’s fingertips and landing on the floor. He swore using a swear word he hadn’t known before hearing it in his own voice, and Kakashi bit back a laugh. Kabuto sighed, leaning back. “No, you don’t need to do that.” Kakashi seemed satisfied with that, and pushed up his sleeve to find another hair band, this one purple. When he offered that up, Kabuto hesitated. “Can you show me how I do it?”

“Yeah, of course.” For a second, he leaned forward as if he were going to put it on Kabuto himself, but only adjusted the way he was sitting so he could have a better view. Painstakingly, he finger-combed through the thick locks of dirty hair that refused to obey gravity, organizing them one by one to lay flat against his head, pinning them against his skull with the palm of his hand as he went. Slowly, he gathered it all at the base of his neck, looping the hair tie around the bundle twice to knot it at his nape. The resulting ponytail was short and aggressively bristled, but present.

“Thank you.” Kabuto admired the effort that went into the demonstration. “You look handsome like this.”

Kakashi smiled, but there was no light in his eyes. “Thanks. I’ve tried a couple times to actually wear my hair like this, but every time I look in the mirror, I see my dad, and then I have to take it out immediately.” He shrugged. “You know how it is.” He paused, taking stock of the situation and Kabuto’s non-reaction. “I guess you don’t know, actually. It’s not important.” He slipped the elastic band off, freeing his hair and fluffing it back into place. “Ponytails are not for me. You, however, don’t look like yourself without one.”

Kabuto took a moment, ruminating on Kakashi’s words while he began the process of pulling his own hair back behind his head. For some reason, his muscles refused to remind him how this felt without a mirror to check his work in. Finally he gave in and turned to face his spouse.

“Would you mind helping me?”

Kakashi blinked several times in a row, then nodded, taking the hair tie and standing up. “Lean forward a little?” As Kabuto did, he stepped behind him and began running his fingers through his hair.

It felt normal. The sensation of this shinobi’s hands on his head, so close to so many vital and vulnerable places on his body was not frightening. Even if he couldn’t remember who this was, he knew in his heart that he trusted him with his life. This tiny act felt familiar, and comfortable, and warm.

All too quickly, the hair was gathered and Kakashi wrapped the purple band around it. “You normally do it three times. Four if the hair tie is stretched out. And then you kind of pull your hair like this—”

Kabuto’s hands went up to meet Kakashi’s, and together they tightened the ponytail. There were fireworks dancing in their fingertips, and they released the hair at the same time, letting it fall against his back. Kakashi returned to his seat by the bed, and Kabuto took his hand again.

“It feels right. This—this feels right, Kakashi.”

He smiled again beneath the mask, eyes glinting. “Good.”

His eye caught Kakashi’s wedding band, and he ran his finger over the engraving, focusing on it. It was there, just on the edge of his mind, what was the word—

“Hatake!”

Immediately, with deeply ingrained instinct, he replied “I didn’t do it.”

They both laughed, holding each other tenderly.

“Your name. Kakashi Hatake. This is your family crest?”

“Our family crest, yes.” He traced his finger over Kabuto’s ring.

“Something about seeing it, that helped. I think visuals are going to help me remember,” Kabuto said.

Kakashi appeared to make that a mental note, and started to list off things that might help bring back memories. In his vest and pockets, he had the Icha Icha book, some weapons, a photo of the two of them together printed on the same near-indestructible material that Kabuto used for his—

“Kabuto. I’ve got it.”

“You’ve got what?”

“I can’t believe I’m so stupid. I’ve been making fun of you for years, and you were right. You were completely,” he stood up, reaching for his shoes and slipping them on, “and utterly right, every minute of the way.”

“Kakashi? Care to let me in on the secret?”

He leaned down, pressing a kiss to his forehead. “For as long as I’ve known you, you’ve been writing these shinobi skill cards. They’re flash cards for your entire life. You made them with this special jutsu paper so they’re really sturdy, and they require your chakra signature to be read, and you have literally a thousand of them, if not more.” He cupped his hand around his jaw, thumb gently gliding along his cheekbone. “Kabuto. You made the cheat sheet for your entire life.”

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