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“I did want to take your hand. Ben’s hand.”

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bed parallels w falliam: fake married → fake relationship → actually in love

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Please Don’t Say You Love Me | Gabrielle Alpin

(a minute and three seconds of)

Do not go gently...

I was re-reading my old posts on livejournal from when TVD went down a dark path and I had to give it up, and its remarkable how closely my disappointment and slow leaving of the fandom parallels what I'm experiencing with SCK.

First it was losing touch with the characters. Characters who we used to practically live in their head became completely cut off and suddenly, we knew nothing about their motivations or their thoughts. Their decisions suddenly started to be controlled entirely by the Plot--longstanding character traits were destroyed or disappeared seemingly overnight. Relationships and elements of those relationships which had long been established disappeared or were purposefully disposed of. It was like the characters were no longer driving the show, but were reduced to Plot Devices that could be moved at will.

Then came the change in acting. I found an entire post I wrote about Nina Dobrev's "Elena Face" she had been doing and it's eerily reminiscent of some of the "Serkan Face" comments I've made recently. It's like the actors don't really know what is going on with their characters so they sort of default to this face that is bored, bland, and vaguely irritated.

Then came the predictability of plots and tropes. Look, neither SCK nor TVD was particularly grounding breaking in their writing, but the early episodes did do some surprising things with characters, and plots moved as a reasonable clip. And then both started to drag. Things like lies and secrets piled up for no real reason other than Plot. People died or survived or reacted depending on what the Plot told them to do. Previously smart characters suddenly lost their ability to think or reason, and it was clear all their Plots were based off nothing more than a need to advance a Plot.

And then we have our main couple. Love them or hate them Stefan and Elena were the main couple of TVD, and the first two seasons were spend firming establishing this. Like SCK, the main couple faced challenges together, and even when they were apart they were together. There were insecurities, sure, but it was made clear time and again they were it for each other. They had long conversations, they supported each other, and even in their worst moments they were there for each other. And when they encountered problems, they worked through them and didn't deal with those same problems again. And then came the dark times. Limited screentime together, no talking or connections, symbols of love being destroyed, moments being erased or replaced, and then the dreaded Other moved in and suddenly our soulmates weren't, well, soulmates any more.

And it was all, inevitably, in the service of Plot. To extend a thing which maybe just should have ended. And it sucks, especially when you are deep the in fandom. It's more than just entertainment, it's ritual and community and bonding. It's getting excited with other fans, coming up with theories, excitedly examining plots, making fanfic and gifs. It's being a part of something a little bit more, and as the show declines, so does the fandom. You lose the passion to write about characters who no longer inspire, the plots are so obvious you have nothing to speculate or wonder about, and analyzing it becomes an exercise in pain. I found a post I wrote about realizing I forgot the latest episode of TVD was on (when I hadn't missed a live airing in a months) and how weird it felt to realize I didn't care. Realizing I didn't care hurt almost worst than the not caring, bc it meant I was losing something I loved, something that had been so important. Like SCK, TVD hit at a time of extreme stress and change for me, and it helped me get through a weird time. Losing it, and the community I had with it, was hard.

SCK is ending. Whether or not they manage to drop this next stupid plot in an episode or not, the writing is on the wall. The show will never be the same again, and the magic that brought us all together is gone. It's hard, and it hurts, and this one is going to take a while to get over. I can watch old TVD episodes now without pain, and I think in time I will be able to do the same with SCK too. But for now, saying farewell to a show and a fandom that I loved, and that was there for so many of us in a rough time, is going to be hard. It's not easy to let something you love like this go, even if it is only a Turkish romcom. But reading old TVD posts made me feel better. This isn't my first rodeo. I'm used to things going south. Most are a "fool me once" scenario and I'm done (see Endgame) but the slow death is almost harder. It's not a clean break, it's a slow decline, and it's hard. But I've met some amazing people and found new things to love through the course of this, and I'll be grateful for this Turkish romcom for giving me that. And I'll remain excited for anything Hande or Kerem do in the future.

Mean!!!