Art For The Stormlight RPG World Guide For Kholinar, The Warcamps And Herdaz.

Hi my name is Stigmata Divine Suffering Crucifixion Christ and I have bloody stigmata wounds (that’s how I got my name) with fresh blood and a deep gash on my side that reaches my mid-back and pain-filled blue eyes like Our Lady of Sorrows’ tears and a lot of people tell me I look like Mary Magdalene (AN: if you don’t know who she is get da hell out of here!). I’m not related to Jesus Christ but I wish I was because he’s a major fucking hottie. I’m a saint but I haven’t been canonized. I have scabbed up skin. I’m also a priest, and I go to an abbey called Montecassino in Italy where I’m a newly ordained priest (I’m seventeen). I’m a catholic (in case you couldn’t tell) and I wear mostly vestments. I love the Vatican and I buy all my clothes from there. For example today I was wearing a black alb with a matching black cassock, and a black linen surplice, a red stole, and episcopal sandals. I had crimson blood dripping from the crown of thorns wounds in my head, the four nail wounds in both my hands and feet, and the spear wound in my side. I was walking outside Montecassino Abbey. It was storming and raining which made me think about Isaiah 4:6, which I was very happy about. A lot of protestants stared at me. I put up my crucifix at them.

“Hey Stigmata!” shouted a voice. I looked up. It was... Pope Francis!

“What’s up Pope?” I asked.

“Nothing.” he said shyly.

But then, I heard the archbishops call me and I had to go away.

✟✟✟✟✟✟✟✟✟✟✟✟✟✟✟✟✟✟✟

AN: IS it good? PLZ tell me thanks be 2 god! amen

Have you ever played a video game that just made you so fucking angry?

Yeah all of them, every single one, even minecraft. Fuck minecraft.

All the “Elon Musk is Bob Page” posts made me do this in like five minutes

(Based on this)

Rykard social media feed:

“Only by embracing the strength of the Great Serpent may we throw off the shackles of the gods. Click HERE to donate to the Church of Eiglay, or sign up to give yourself up as a sacrifice!”

“Introducing the ABDUCTOR VIRGIN: a new, never-before-seen, cutting-edge innovation in weapons of war, designed specifically for the Volcano Manor’s noble struggle against the armies of the Erdtree.” [most horrifying image you’ve ever seen]

[pic of the minor erdtree on fire]

[art commission of the erdtree burning]

“Through strength, unity, and taking by force, we shall claim our freedom from the gods’ tyranny once and for all. If we must descend into blasphemy and sin to end their reign of terror, then so be it.”

[thirst trap]

[quote retweet of Elden Lord Radagon Official’s post] you should kill yourself… NOW

[retweet of General Radahn celebrating Leonard’s birthday]

i call my parents and say ‘yeah i can’t do family stuff tonight, i got too much stuff to do for school’ and i e-mail my professor and say ‘i can’t do my assignments tonight, work got crazy’ and i text my boss and say ‘sorry i can’t work late tonight, i gotta some family stuff’ and through this triangulation of deceitful excuses i at last will be free

hiiii mdms (moby dick mutuals) do you guys know about power moby dick (funny name). it’s an online annotation of moby dick that provides explanations for allusions and definitions for outdated terms/whaling jargon. it is so fun i am clicking around and exploring and learning a lot of new old-timey maritime words <3

I hope that someone, somewhere, voluntarily and unironically ends up spending New Year’s Eve reading the new chapter of my GRINCH x TONY THE TIGER Fanfic.

It has been read by a nun, blessed by a priest, and received rave reviews up to and including my personal favorite: “the best fic i’ve ever read in bible class“

…wait does the priest thing mean my cursed fic has technically been exorcized

Is anyone else obsessed with how subtly important eye contact is in Goncharov?

Have you noticed how many times he says some form of “look at me” to katya? How, whenever andrey is in a scene his eyes seems to slowly maneuver from object to person to object, as if he’s scanning meaningless information, UNTIL goncharov is in the scene and suddenly his eyes follow him like he’s something worth studying? And what gets me most, how katya, the person who refuses to look at goncharov in the eye unless he all but begs, the woman who has never had the opportunity to yearn for a man because the men do all the yearning for her, looks at sofia like she’s hung the stars and moon, to the point sofia even says something!!! THE DIRECT PARALLELS BETWEEN GONCHAROV’S “look at me, why can’t you ever look at me” AND SOFIA’S “you can’t look at me like that, why do you insist on stopping my heart,” like yeah it was probably meant as a throwaway gag, the way it was said after sofia found katya drunk (don’t even get me STARTED on how katya hid the fact that she was prescribed medication for a preexisting condition from goncharov because she refused to be seen as weak but as soon as she sees sofia’s face in her weakest moment she collapses into her arms and sobs, like???) but that aside it paints such a lovely picture i can hardly stand it.

Heteronormative speculation in the film critic industry has always painted that scene as proof that katya really does care for goncharov because of the flashbacks to him in the middle of her talking to sofia and moments before The Kiss™️, i’ve seen the same take so many times “she was hallucinating that it was goncharov in front of her, not sofia,” but that makes literally no sense considering the way she acts around him for the rest of the film.

The flashbacks were all times that we’d already SEEN in the movie, except the beginning few which were of a younger goncharov, before the beginning of the movie, perhaps before they’d fled russia even. It showed a story, each change in memory was one of him mentioning her always being in her own head, or not paying attention, or even the one scene everyone knows and loves where he asks her what she’s thinking about. The way the first few were grouped together, then became broken up by glimpses of sofia, because the answer to the question “what are you thinking about,” changed as soon as sofia stepped into the picture. She used to dream of freedom from familial pressure, from her husbands line of work, from her countries political agenda, but recently freedom feels less like a pair of wings and more like long brown hair and warm eyes that she can’t help but stare into.

Katya’s character being so underdeveloped in favor of goncharov and andrey mentally fucking for a few more minutes is absolutely deplorable, all i want is for her to find gay peace!

(Btw if you remember any scenes that have to do with the importance of eye contact in the movie that i forgot to mention here, feel free to add on!)

Horizon Forbidden West's Plot Was Actually Not Great And Here's Why Thank You And Goodnight.

Alright, so SadJack and I just finished Horizon Forbidden West and…honestly, I feel really frazzled.

They made a good post a few days ago as I was still collecting my thoughts, parsing out the parts I liked, didn’t, and figuring out how it aligns with Zero Dawn and why this sequel felt like something was missing.

TBH I still can’t fully articulate if I enjoyed the game play, the main plot, the worldbuilding, or the characters. Its all just a silly little mess in my silly little head. So, here’s me trying to decipher those silly little thoughts.

This is 7376 words long. I’m not sorry.

Spoilers under the cut.

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Once again our paths converge. Welcome to this humble emporium of wares, named after one such commander of runes, dubbed the "dollar general." I stand as thy guide amidst these mundane treasures. I ask thee, what purpose bringeth thee to this realm of commerce today? And should thou be in need of aid, callest upon me with thine inquiries.