Latest Posts by laceandpaper - Page 3
Track 2
I said I never want to see you again
(with anyone but me). The jazz
from the record player challenges
you to leave. Your words break my
bones (but your kisses are a splint).
Believe me, I can live without you
(if I’m already dead). I swear I’ll
go on if you leave (everyone else
behind). Push and sway in time,
give away your heart (it’s mine).
Forgive and forget is so cliché.
I say never give away the past.
Deja Vu
I’ll make everything up to you, love.
Hands grasping hers, knee against the steering wheel.
The shadow of the steeple blankets them
through the windshield, crossing his heart.
He is Judas, throwing back the silver.
He is not who he was. Neither is she.
And yet they’ve been here before.
Love and Hate
I’d never do anything to hurt you
On the phone
at 3 AM. The line goes dead
as I wonder if I took hold of you
The way you took hold of me.
You sank into my mind
And made it your home.
You still captivate me.
My mind is full of you
and all your empty promises.
It’s not fair that you were
Able to grab me so quickly.
You swept me up
Before I had a chance to
See what was happening.
Why do I love you?
Why don’t I hate you?
I wish I could read your mind
Just to know what you think
When I see you walk in
at 3:47, tears in my eyes,
because I know from the
scent of that jasmine perfume
just where you’ve been.
Worst
You ask why I always
Assume the worst
And I tell you that
If I assume the worst
I can’t be disappointed.
But the truth is, I always
Assume the worst
Because all I want
Is for you to tell me
Just how wrong I am.
We-dentity Crisis
You don’t think I love you enough? How the hell
can I love you when I hardly know how to love
me? Who even am I? Why am I asking you,
if you bothered to know you wouldn’t tell me
to love you more when you know I love you
more than anything. Oh, but I guess that’s not
enough for the man who takes everything except
a chance to put someone else first.
Sweetie
Love, your friend:
Sweetie, the roses are all dying now,
They’ve withered and faded beyond repair.
And though you water them I can see how
They still have gone, despite your watchful stare.
Sweetie, the roses have all bowed their heads,
A sign of goodbye in this cold, dark room.
The stems have gone black and their bodies shed
Their petals and leaves far into the gloom.
Sweetie, sometimes I think you are a rose
He’s drying you up petal by petal.
I watch you lie down and as your eyes close,
I see your heart is now withered, brittle.
Sweetie, you know deep inside this is wrong.
Inside your heart is not where he belongs.
Lust Song
Is that love in your eyes, or are you just happy to
see me? Me, naked above you, beneath you,
around you. My bible lies open in the backseat,
Samson and Delilah. My legs clench your waist,
pulling you closer, deeper, further into this
stark truth: there’s no hiding from you now.
Every inch of me bare, my ugly flaws and
rosy lies, sketched across my inner thighs.
Am I good for a game? Love and sex are not
the same. There’s nothing to see here past
the hills and valleys of dimples and curves.
Some never learn.
Christmas eve past found the family on powdered hills,
toboggans dragged behind by stiff fingers.
I was the brave one, the first on my sled. The one who
never held the rope, even when my parents scolded,
told me it’s better to be safe than sorry.
I thought they were silly until I took a tumble,
my face slammed by the packed snow that had
seemed so soft just a moment ago.
I wish I knew how to listen.
Sin (Part Two of To Save A Wretch Like Me)
The second part of the collection, To Save A Wretch Like Me, continues the story of the two lovers once the honeymoon phase has ended. Trust is lost, hurt is gained, and as the lovers turn on each other the path that was once so tempting turns sharply into a dead end.
Que Sera, Sera
The vanilla-cinnamon scent of your sweat lingers
as your lips taste the salty-sweet strawberry of my thighs,
pale pink against the dark upholstery of your car.
The shadow of the church steeple looms outside,
casting fiery judgment as your hot breath finds the place
it is needed most. Gasps drown out the crickets chirping
in the warm spring night among the dandelions and
wildflowers. We are lost together, happy to wander
hand in hand. You catch my breath and I lose your mind.
Intertwined and indistinguishable, finding our way
through unfamiliar territory. Skin against
skin, heart to heart, I grasp you tight.
You take me there.
Soulmates
I worry that I do not live up to your past, but you tell me the practice is as much fun as the goal. This is not the awkward introduction, but the elusive intimacy that comes with connection. You guide me as a ship captain who loves his boat enough to go down with it. Feel you, feel me, feel we as if no me could exist without you. Lead me, love me. Touch like lightning electrifies my skin. In this moment freeze. Breathe. Release. You make me weak. I wish to hold on and never be free.
The Tortoise Loves the Hare
Friend, Don’t tell me how to run my race.
Just because you can’t reach
the finish line doesn’t mean
I have to stall in second place,
slinking in your shadow
since you “know what’s best
for me.”
I stand on my own feet,
I run to who I choose.
I will dance, I will fly, even
if I pass you by. Keep up
or I’ll leave you in the dust.
Tentative Tango
One, an unfamiliar smile
I don’t know how to understand.
Fingertips brush my waist, hem
of shirt, pale skin untouched
by sun. Hot breath on my ear,
body to body. Hand resting
in the small of my back. I want to
not want you as much as I do.
Two, palm runs down my side
breast to thigh. Breathe your sharp
scent. Gasp for forgiveness. Push
away, pull me close, make me
melt into seductive warmth.
Mold to match your form.
I am in over my head, and I
like not being able to breathe.
Three, tempo moves too fast,
past the barrier that was your
car door. Pressed to you,
horizontal, clothing optional.
I can’t keep up with four/four time.
Wonder if Eve knew what she
was getting into. Did she know
fear before the fruit?
Four, I can’t understand myself.
Fear, frustration, desire, despair,
give me room to breathe, I’m not
ready to go without air, not ready
to take that bite, not ready to
want you. My skin aches as you
pull away, disappointed. I guess
I don’t know how to dance.
The Ten Commandments
Thou shalt have no other gods before me. Thou shalt not worship idols. Thou shalt not take the name of thy lord in vain. Remember the Sabbath day by keeping it holy. Honor your father and your mother. Thou shalt not murder. Thou shalt not commit adultery. Thou shalt not steal. Thou shalt not give false testimony. Thou shalt not covet.
Visitors! Welcome to our humble church.
This is Brother Sam, be nice to him,
he’s only happy if he’s the center of attention.
And this is one of our Elders, Tom. That’s
his new BMW in the parking lot. I swear, he
loves that thing more than his wife! And oh my
God, there’s Sister Tina, hard at work preparing
lunch! I swear that woman never takes a day off.
Oh dear, here comes the pastor’s son - don’t
make eye contact, his father kicked him out
last weekend for telling him to “fudge” off,
pardon my language. I heard they had a fight
over Pastor Phillip backstabbing his brother
over an old grudge, but I could be mistaken.
Look, it’s his wife! She and the associate pastor
have been rather close lately. His suits have also
been getting nicer. Funny, I’d think his salary
would shrink with how the weekly collections
been dropping. Oh well. Oops, time to take
our seats! The youth minister is preparing to
testify before the congregation that he didn’t
pull a Clinton with our little miss Monica.
Feel free to find me after service - I’ll just be
here, coveting a life away from “Christians.”
Breaking Modus Operandi
Mother, I will not ask if you think
he is good for me. Did you know
that before I met him I was, in fact,
unhappy? Shall I listen to Polaris
to find my way north, find my way home?
The scent of rain wafts so sweet, wafts
so gentle wafts so cold. I will
not even mention how your mate
has devoured you, drowned you in lust.
Are you truly loved? Are you lonely?
Have your prayers been answered?
I have been upset by passing time and
pain and heartbreak and ceaseless rain.
I too have been devoured by false loves.
But now he sings softly in my ear
“I feel that when I’m old I’ll look at you
and know the world was beautiful.”
Mother, whatever you may say,
today the lovely sky is blue, the lovely clouds
are white, and the lovely breeze is cool.
Track 1
A little conversation is all it takes on
the beach at day break. Kiss me gently
as quiet notes waft across the sand
out of the open door of your car idling
in the background. The only sound is
you and me and the pristine waves as
your lips sear your name on my
tongue and the soft guitar serenades
the silence. Hold me closer, feel me warm
against you. The water is beautiful.
The Details
Church buildings and dropped bibles and water fountains, small talk about Jesus and Kit-Kats and you stuttered over each simple word. Such a rush, between joking and fear and excitement and fear. Knots in your stomach, hope to Heaven that things happen, terrified that they won’t. Fear you can’t help but be happy in spite of, because of. You wind up on a couch with a warm arm encircling you stiff as a board because you’re so afraid of messing up you can barely dare to breathe because oh God he’s touching you and it’s just so unbelievable but then suddenly, you relax, because it feels right. Perhaps that was when I loved you, your leg against mine, sock soft against bare toes. Shared secret under the table, innocent.
Away from Home
What do you get when you
erase the chalkboard, sweep up
the dust, and clap out the erasers?
The board gets a fresh start
while what was chalk becomes
dust, separated and scattered,
lost and alone.
I want to be the board.
I feel like the chalk.
Pop the Trunk
My life fits in the trunk of a civic
as i slide down this highway
miles pass with minutes
the separation of past and present
a stark reminder of reality
of time space and missed
opportunities it seems that
plans fall through and who’s
to say what comes but may today
be the way to tomorrow
yesterday says hello to memory
and so it goes as we toast to the old
and bring in the new it’s
true i am scared of the future
and you can’t pretend that you don’t
feel the same we all have our
boxes inside our trunks
no one can comprehend but us
so i drive my civic and
take my life from point a to point b
trying to tell myself that somehow
i’ll see where i’m going.
Temptation (Part One of To Save A Wretch Like Me)
The first part of the collection, To Save A Wretch Like Me, tells the story of the two lovers meeting and getting to know each other. It is during this section that the narrator, the girl, begins to question what she's been raised to believe, and pulls away from the familiar to join the boy on a path towards uncertain self-discovery.
To Save A Wretch Like Me
In an attempt to inspire myself to start writing again, I have decided to gradually post the poetry collection I wrote during my last semester of college. It tells the story of two young lovers caught in an unhealthy relationship, confused by the values they've been brought up with, struggling to figure out what directions they're meant to take in life. A lot of the poems are still rather rough and I welcome feedback, but as a whole I hope you enjoy the collection.
Without further ado, I shall present poems from the collection, To Save a Wretch Like Me. To begin, part one: Temptation
