Peter Talking To A Tired Thor: So What’s Loki To You?

Black Pirate Dude

-unironically wears a trench coat

-“I’m not mad just disappointed”

-god tier sceptic

-dramatic flare the size of the fucking sun

-I’m a bad bitch you can’t kill me

-Badass TM

The Avengers: a summary

Thot

- majestic - good hair - straight ally - total feminist - Better Than You - best brother

America’s Ass

- t h i c c - disaster bisexual - literal golden retriever - n i p p l e s - sad about the bae

Tony Stank

- the literal definition of adhd - runs on coffee and cocaine - judging you - terrible boyfriend, pretty good husband - “3000? thAt’S cRaZy”

angry grinch

- weed dealer - always angry - anxiety - too tired to be stark’s best friend

bird 1

- actual disaster - weirdly nice arms - married?????? - actually not in love with black widow - probably has tried to steal a dog at least once

mama spider

- will kill - terrifying - somehow always looks amazing - steve rogers’ relationship advisor - love? for children

bird 2

- supersoldier babysitter - everyone’s favourite - done - to the left - hates his bestie’s boyfriend - not problematic in the slightest - actual angel there is nothing wrong with him whatsoever

quippy black best friend

- somehow hasn’t killed tony stark yet - was just put there for comic relief but now everyone loves him - the best character in endgame - troll

bonky

- chaotic gay - sad - good hair - still annoyed at his husband for something that happened in 1943 - power bottom

spiderling

- baby - was immediately adopted - definitely trans - gen z - wants to die

Clint: There’s only four ways to do things, the right way, the wrong way, the Nat way, and the Clint way.

Rest of the Avengers : ???

Clint: The Nat way is the faster way to the right way, the Clint way just creates another problem to cover the original problem, which leads to a snowball of problems no one understands.

Clint stuck in a chair: You may be asking “Clint, how did this happen? How did you do this to yourself?”

Natasha laughing to the side: Well kids, Clint has no clue either. He’s just fucking dumb.

Natasha pulling out a knife: Now let’s help this poor man.

Clint: *Indiscernible screaming*

Loki: Name a more iconic duo than my fear of abandonment and instinct to self isolate.

Loki: I’ll wait.

Thor: You and me.

Loki: *tearing up* a-alright.

I’m crying. I have a personal name for this ship. Fe3. If you don’t get it you’re uneducated.

morgan is smart. pepper/tony/rhodey ot3 🥰🥰🥰

Avengers play Cards Against Humanity

Since the last one was well received here's part two

Black Card: You know who else liked ______? Hitler.

Loki: Eradicating the jews

Steve: Mass Genocide

Peter: Veganism

Hope: Nazis

Scott: Bees

Natasha: White privilege

Clint: Chunks of dead backpacker

Harley: Daniel Radcliffe's delectable arsehole

Shuri: Praying the gay away

T'challa: Restoring Germany to it's former glory

Tony: A reason not to commit suicide

Bruce: Auschwitz

Sam: God

Bucky: Poorly timed holocaust jokes

Pepper: Seeing things from Hitler's perspective

Rhodey: Suicidal thoughts

Thor: Vikings

Wanda: It's hard to decide... "You know who else liked veganism? Hitler" is my favourite. Peter wins.

Do you guys want to chose the winners? And yes, there are going to be more of these cards against humanity. Send me other people you want to play too.

Peter, randomly quoting the internet: Knowledge is knowing that tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in fruit salad.

Tony, sleep deprived: That makes ketchup a smoothie.

Clint, for once actually knowing something: Too much sugar! It’s actually soda.

Natasha, exasperated and tired of everyone’s shit: Common sense is knowing that ketchup is neither a smoothie or a soda. It’s also knowing not to piss off an assassin for something as foolish as this at two in the morning.

Loki: Apparently spite isn’t a good answer to what motivates you.

Ned: How come humans don’t lick to show affection?

MJ: Lesbians do

Peter coughing after choking on his saliva: W-what?!

MJ: You heard me

Ned dying of laughter and with an accent: It is what it is

Reblog if you are bisexual, pansexual, or asexual, if you support bisexuals, pansexuals, and asexuals, or

There’s no third, funny option, just the first two because it’s good to just support people because they deserve support.