Latest Posts by lizsstory - Page 7
critical new (old) images of gerard in dallas
“she’s got legs for days” pfffft not impressive. i;ve had mine for years
hate when the forecast app is like 'remember to stay hydrated, it's gonna be a hot one!' I KNOW HOW TO READ SYMBOLS
Tumblr really has ruined me. I was in a Rite-Aid and "out of touch" came on over the speakers, and I freaked out a bit because I thought I had missed my thursday morning meeting. It took me a minute before I remembered that Out of Touch playing does not always mean its thursday. sometimes people just play the song.
If I can recommend you do 1 low-effort thing for the love of God it is this:
Keep 5 cards in your pocket. One will say "yes", the second will say "no."
If you lose your voice, or lose speech, or want to make a dramatic embellishment at the right time, it is an elegant and efficient solution that is right there at hand.
But what if people question you from there? "Why do you have that card? Why would you do this? How long have you had that in your pocket?" For this, or whatever else they say, the third card: "I don't have a card for that."
"What the fuck," they ask. They laugh. They are bemused. You bring the energy back down with the fourth card: "I have laryngitis. I've lost speech. My throat hurts". Whatever you expect to occur.
The joke is over. Rule of threes. Now they are curious. YThey wonder about logistics. "How did you know I would say that? Is everyone so predictable?"
As a three-part bit, nobody ever sees the fifth card coming.
"I have powerful wizard magics."
Gets them every time
they hate me for my girlish whimsy and for my pathological degree of avoidant behavior
Life advise . if the bus smells like pee do not sit down never pay for anything you could get for free dont work retail if you value being seen as human always give money to homeless people when u can if youre buying a jacket never settle for fake leather just look for real leather and youll find the right thrift shop eventually make sure to have chapstick with you at all times dont use a public restroom until youve checked to make sure theres toilet paper in the stall with you dont eat out if you cant tip shoplifting from corporations is totally fine and vandalism is also ok Dont get caught always trust ur gut unless your tummy hurts in which case do not trust your gut take an antacid take benadryl when you are itchty but never more than 2 at a time dont get high on benadryl because it sucks Do not get high on any cough syrup with acetaminophen in it if you value your liver do not listen to brendon uries solo work sometimes you should eat a little treat just because youcan. Always dress extravagantly and wear platform shoes if you can. Be nice. ok thats it
pathetic soggy wet creature
i dont know why i shared all that information is one of my favorite phrases ever because every day i really dont know why i shared all that information
The circular island that rotates in Argentina
oops
someone put hoodwinked anthony green and pro rev frank in a room together they’re gonna be sucking and fucking in 2 seconds flat
Rick, talking to Negan: And this is our village idiot—
You: Hey! I will fight you Grimes
You, tripping over your feet immediately:
Negan:
Rick:
You, face first on the ground: That doesn't count as a forfeit
Ah, yes. My favorite duo in scream
sorry jesus i hope u like it
Happy Can’t Eat Beefaroni Without Forks Friday
do YOU remember when frank posted his ass on insta?
who is frank
if you’re cold he’s cold put him in your pocket
One fanfic a day,
keeps the mental illness away
SWAMP THING: I'm Not Okay at Sydney 2
Um Gerard’s gay ass voice in the isolated vampires outro. Beautiful unshowered New Jersey woman asmr
Something about drinking cold water really hits the clitoris of the soul....
trans women r literally so cool theu get tits AND a prostate?? i thought only markilpler could do that
Are fedoras really that bad?
YES YES THEY ARE