lovelybutt3rflies

Latest Posts by lovelybutt3rflies

“Kids have a hole in their soul in the shape of their dad. And if a father is unwilling or unable to fill that hole, it can leave a wound that is not easily healed”

— Roland Warren (via grace-ann-wilbanks)

YOU’LL LOVE ME WHEN I DIE

i’m disgusted by the people who say they’re happy over xxxtentacion’s death. that they’re glad he got shot. that they’re glad he died. that they think the world is a better place without him. i’ve read so many disgusting post from people celebrating his death, and it makes me sick to my stomach, that there are people out there who think like that.

and i’m seriously asking myself what’s even worse; killing someone, or truly wishing someone’s death and being happy over the fact, that a human being, a human being like you and me, regardless of what the fuck he has done in the past, died.

jahseh was 20, he was so fucking young, trying to find his place in this world, trying to find answers, trying to figure out who he really is. you know how much life you haven’t lived yet when dying that young? you know how much you haven’t experienced? 

x did some horrible, terrible things, i won’t deny that, but that doesn’t fucking justify his death. you are allowed to see only the bad parts in someone. you are allowed to look at all the horrible things someone has done and base your opinions of that person on these things. but mocking over someone’s death is just…i can’t even find words.

especially those narrow-minded people who’ll only look for the ‘bad’ in one. it’s not like his life was about the shit he did. he helped, he fucking saved so many people. there is a reason why many people looked up to him. there is a reason why so many people loved and appreciated him and his work. 

he was aware of the fact, that he did terrible things, infact he wanted to change and do better. he organized charity events, he raised money, people seem to completely ignore that. again, he did terrible things, and these good things he did won’t hush up the bad things he did, but at least he accepted his mistakes and fucking tried to do and be better than that.

humans are like sailors on boats, floating in this infinitely big sea. together we are a big fleet. if one boat sinks, some others will sink too. there will never be one single boat sinking on its own. we all have friends and family, people we love. and so did jahseh dwayne onfroy better known as xxxtentacion. his boat sank, and so did many others. regardless of his actions in the past, it’s about being there for each other now, especially when it comes to his friends and his  family. people who loved x. we don’t need more boats to sink.

being happy over this tragic death, is.. it’s just disgusting.

especially those people considering themselves as ‘good humans’ because they think such people deserve it, or consider this whole thing as an act of justice. that wasn’t justice. that was murder, and you really need to have an evil mind to say something like that. you are not better than someone like xxxtentacion and his past, if you really think like that. 

if someone would kill my best friend, ofcourse i’d fucking hate the killer, but i’d never wish him death or the same thing he did to my best friend. and if he’d get murdered i’d never consider it as an act of justice, i’d consider it simply as murder, and i’d feel sorry for his family and friends. that they lost someone they love, like i lost my best friend. i wouldn’t be fucking celebrating his death and share with everybody how happy i am that he died. even tho he destroyed my life through what he did. with such an disgusting mindset like some people have, there’d only be more and more dead bodies and broken hearts.

it wouldn’t bring my best friend back and it wouldn’t change anything.

i don’t celebrate what xxxtentacion did, but i also don’t celebrate his death.

i never looked up to or supported the bad things he did, but i always looked up to his work. his music. i separated these two things. the way he could express himself was so indescribably and his music helped me through really fucking harsh times, and i’m clearly not the only one who thinks like that. i don’t know where i’d be without his music, stories and words.  and like i said, he tried to change and be a better person and also organized charity events and raised money.

actually, it’s true what xxxtentacion said. nobody cares until you’re dead.

nobody cared about all this shit before they heard he was shot.

i read about these theories that he’s still alive and just plans something for a new album or whatever and seriously, i wouldn’t even be mad or something if all this was planned and just show. because it just shows that he’s right. it just substantiates his statement, and that’s fucking sad.

you don’t need to agree with what i’m thinking, but all of you who are seriously happy about his death and celebrating this murder, you’re all just disgusting to me.

thank you for your music x, thank you for your message.

rest in peace

Dragon Ball Z (1989)

If right now you’re thinking: “I can’t believe she did that last week,” or “I can’t believe he said that yesterday,” and you’re get angry or upset about it, you are the cause of your suffering in this moment, not the other.

A person may well have been the source of your suffering at the time, but if they’re not physically present in your life in this moment, they cannot be the cause of your suffering Now.

As Jack Kornfield observed: “The person who betrayed you is sunning themselves on a beach in Hawaii and you’re knotted up in hatred. Who is suffering?”

Don’t waste this moment on someone who isn’t even there with you… let it go and embrace the present moment: it’s where peace is.

~ SpiritualitBE

“لا أبحث عن نصفي الأخر لأنني لستُ نصفًا. -I’m not searching for my other half because I’m not a half.”

— Realizing this is one of the things that made the biggest difference in my life, not just in my relationships. (via twentyonepunkens)

You cannot use someone else’s fire. You can only use your own. And in order to do that, you must first be willing to believe that you have it.

Audre Lorde.

‪“Make sure you don’t start seeing yourself through the eyes of those who don’t value you. Know your worth even if they don’t.” ‬

hellboy♡

Lil Peep @ U Street Music Hall D.C. November 1st 2017: Peep’s 21st birthday.

Hears a conspiracy theory

Me: That sounds pretty far fetched.

Also me in the back of my mind thinks of all the bizarre and true things the government has been proved to have done like:

The government commuted Charlie “Lucky” Luciano’s sentence in prison for the mob’s help in World War II.

After world war II, the US government snuck in over 1,600 german scientists, engineers, and technicians, including nazi’s and erasing war crimes.

The US Public Health Service pretended to treat African-American males for syphilis from 1932 to 1972 (for 40 years!!!). The only reason it stopped was it was exposed by a reporter. The stated purpose was to study the natural progression of untreated syphilis in the African-American male. Not mention the obvious unethical, inhumane, violation of post world war 2 noremburg code, violation of the henderson act, and racist element, it would not take 40 years of study, not to mention penicillin was proved to be an effictive treatment in the 40’s. It is chilling to think this might still be going on if not for the reporting of the Associated Press.

The CIA was slipping LSD to unsuspecting American citizens in the 50’s and 60’s.

Human experiments were secretly performed on unsuspecting people, like injecting plague girls 12 and under and orphans with syphilis, the US Navy spraying bacteria over San Fancisco, air dropping over 300,000 mosquitoes over Georgia, spraying Navy ships with crews on board with biological weapons, releasing bacillus subtilis in subways, airports and bus terminals, and radiation experiments on mentally disabled children, conscientious objectors, prison inmates, school children, pregnant women, and over US cities, just as examples.

The F.B.I. through its COINTELPRO broke several civil liberties including illegally wire tapping, sought to disrupt, discredit, and neutralize people and groups it felt dangerous including the black nationalist movement, Dr Martin Luther King Jr, malcom x, as well as communist (which it was first designed for), klu klux klan, socialist, the New Left, puerto ricans, and cubans. They also tried to trick the Mafia to go to war against the Communist in America.

The US has accidently dropped/had planes crash/dissapear (broken arrow) with atomic/nuclear/hydrogen bombs. Luckily most of the damage was caused by velocity and conventional explosives. If you add in accidental launch, firing, detonating, theft, or loss, the amount of broken arrows is known at 32 including accidently dropping two atomic bombs over North Carolina and accidentally firing a rocket containing cobalt 57 into Mexico.

Despite being the most famous US base in the world, the US government didn’t acknowledge the existance of area 51 until 2013.

I forgive you. Not for you, but for me.  I forgive you because hate is just another way of holding on, and you don’t belong here anymore.

Beau Taplin (Forgiveness)

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The Front Bottoms — Father

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Corey Haim

I AM DONE.

That vibe when your friends are doing really good and you’re happy for them but you’re still in a bad place so it’s hard to share in that happiness on the same level.

current motivation: if troy bolton can learn a song 5 minutes before his performance then i can learn a whole semesters worth of material the night before the exam 

i fully support people being able to vent

but i also firmly support a person’s right to say “hey, i really would rather not hear this right now” for any reason, so if you ever don’t want me to mindlessly ramble about how much my life sucks PLEASE feel free to tell me because i strongly think that helping someone deal with their problems should be VOLUNTARY

we’re literally floating on a tiny planet in fucking space why are we surrounded by hatred and misery. why can’t everyone just calm the fuck down and lay on some grass. the sun is a GIANT BURNING ORB why does money exist. fuck everything

Men describing women’s appearances and bodies in literature is universally traumatic

Sleepy eyes and a mind full of you.

Im a real boring bitch! A snoozer! A low key homebody!!! I love loneliness AND privately trying to deal with emotional trauma!!!