minatorypigs
um, oink oink. don't sleep with your back to the bedroom door
36 posts
Latest Posts by minatorypigs
it's that time of night everyone! time to sort thru memories from the day and file them away as either normal or horrendously embarrassing
aaaannnd don't wanna spoil anything but let's just say the normal folder is gonna be pretty fucking thin
yo check this out. Alexa, cure cancer
Alexa-
me: I gotta get up early so it's super important I get good sleep tonight
brain: i-important?? that's scary! too much pressure! noooo we should stay up watching youtube with steadily growing anxiety instead!
Right click -> save as -> ancient curse
was recently told I giggle in my sleep. lowkey pisses me off cause the only dreams I ever remember having are nightmares so idk what the fuck asleep-me has to be laughing about
pleased to see everyone has good toilet etiquette in Luthadel
me, at work: man... I'm so lucky to have this job...................................................................................................................... i wanna go home
was walking in the woods, saw this chip bag stuck to the rocks in the river (creek?). so I subjected myself to the worst sensory experience known to man and took off my shoes to wade over slimy ass river (creek?) rocks to fish it out. almost slipped like 8 times, but we did it. consider the environment saved guys
um. tee hee 🤭
or smth. idk still workshopping
i wish there was a way to have an autopsy that didnt kill u. i think it would be so cathartic
someday I hope to have a wikipedia page. but I want it to be as inaccurate as those weird sketchy websites that make up shit about youtubers
like "minatorypigs is 4'11, 7lbs, and was kicked out of Harvard Law for academic dishonesty in 2009."
fucking gotem lmao
my top 10 favorite (funniest) emojis (on an android/Samsung phone)
10. 😀
lowkey looks traumatized. homie just got told something awful and is still in shock.
9. 😦
previous entry a few moments later
8. 😔
very pitiable shame. like a dog that ripped up the couch. perfect for when someone is mad at me
7. 🤔
hermmmm. usually follows a conspiracy theory
6. 🙂
head empty. or, possibly, full of quiet evil
5. 😏
heh, nothin' personal kid
4. 🤨
3. 🤥
says so much with so little
a liar. but he seems very disappointed in himself
2. 🥸
great for texting incognito. "that message couldn't have come from me, that guy looks nothing like me!"
honorable mention: 😗
was gonna kiss you, but then you said that and now I'm not sure
1. 😱
nothing I will ever text anyone is worthy of the sincere horror seen here. "what if they're out of carrots 😱" unparalleled drama. best read with a loud gasp.
I'm exhausted like all the time. I can't drink coffee because it makes my stomach hurt and it makes me sleepy. but not sleepy enough to actually fall asleep. no sleeping medication has ever worked for me and medications that are supposed to make you drowsy as a side effect don't do shit to me
I was up until 5 am writing fanfic last night. I woke up at 9:30 this morning. this is the most rested I've felt in weeks
what the hell am I because I'm clearly not human
etymology is so fun and cool until it's talking about how a word I like is losing its meaning.
mortified doesn't mean horrified you fools! don't do this to me dammit!
I get so quickly and stupidly attached to inanimate objects. like, I used to work a custodial job where one of the buckets we used said "P.P." on it for some reason. loved that bucket like a child. tore me up inside to use any other bucket
my sweet P.P. bucket I miss you
I have seen the entirety of code geass. but gun to my head, if you asked me to explain a single plot line I could not do it
I watched that shit 13 and confused as hell. was in it purely for the vibes
april fools used to be such a big deal to me. now I let year after year pass without a single jape or gag performed
is this what it is to lose your childhood whimsy?
me, after setting an arbitrary time limit for a wip: what nonsense is this?! how could I ever finish in this time frame?! might as well give up and do it never! never I say!
the greatest manifestation of my hubris is occasionally thinking about attempting an undertale genocide run
and remembering the fight with papyrus is my karmic comeuppance
screaming into the void got me like aAhhhHhhHhhhHhh 🤪
when I was a kid, I had this weird fear that one day I would wake up to find that the last few years of my life were a dream and I was like a toddler again
I'm sure you can all imagine how I feel about the idea now
can't sleep. too many thoughts abt all my many plans. what to wear tomorrow. shoes maybe? ugh
y'all can we bring back the public execution? like hanging in the town square
not for anyone else, just for me
and not for any crime, just cause that's how I wanna go out
if I could, I'd kiss the Oxford comma on the lips
its not even 2024 anymore its some other bullshit now
there's two wolves inside me when I'm writing fanfic:
the wolf that recognizes it's better if I write short fics so I don't get burnt out and actually finish them
and the wolf that remembers that one time the hyperfixation was so strong I wrote 7,000 words in one sitting
Papyrus using Twitter