I Finally Decided To Watch The Teen Wolf Movie Instead Of Just Letting Myself Get Snippets Of It Without

i know a lot of people mock when certain songs are overused on character playlists but I will never judge someone for putting bubblegum bitch on one. If you decided that your little tv guy is miss sugar pink liquor liquor lips who am I to say he’s not

why am I acting surprised

y’all expose yourselves and take this fanfic test i was just forced to by an irl so now i’m making you too

Who makes the porn bots. Where do they come from. What do they hope to achieve.

i’m obsessed with this painting called tomato king and i’m even more obsessed with the man who drew it. his name is stuart dunkel and he is a classical oboeist and he also paints tiny little oil paintings of mice living their best lives. he looks like this.

HELL YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

had a fucking hilarious dream that tumblr replaced the "block" function with the far funnier "glock" function, which did the exact same thing except whenever anyone blocked you a random bullet hole, like a png of a bullet hole, would appear on your blog. discourse blogs were unreadable bc you'd go to the page and the sheer amount of bullet hole pngs stacked over the blogs obscured everything. I woke myself up laughing

raise your hand if you have ever been personally victimised by mahito

the way I hate overhead lights with a passion. try everything else rather than turning it on

Are you sexy because you’re gay or because you’re a wizard or is it because of a third, other thing?

Is it a cake because it has egg or because it has flour? You fool. You fucking idiot.

ON THE THEORY OF ELI BEING CREATED BY THE NEMETON:

This is something that I've been sitting here thinking about for the past couple weeks and I just saw a piece of fanart last night that made me think about it even more, because honestly, the idea that Eli was created by the Nemeton is such a cool idea and it fits with the canon.

So, I don't even care that Jeff Davis is an idiot and was probably too stupid to think of this idea. I feel like I'm in the mood to write some meta after years and years of not writing meta.

Let's talk about it anyways.

We know that the Nemeton was functional during the 1940's before the Nogitsune came into power. And then, sometime after the Nogitsune's first run wild through Beacon Hills, somebody cut it down and essentially rendered it completely powerless.

Now, it stayed powerless for decades UNTIL that one night in the root cellar with Derek and Paige. When Derek killed Paige, he unknowingly committed a virgin sacrifice and sparked the Nemeton back to life. Albeit, the nemeton remained in a weakened state, as it was not back to full power and not working as a beacon to draw in supernatural creatures.

Cut to a few years later, what happens next?

The parents of the teen wolf trio get kidnapped by Jennifer so that she can complete her "three-fold death" sacrifice by killing three guardians. However, she never gets to complete the ritual because Stiles, Allison, and Scott sacrifice themselves in their parents place as surrogates.

Now, the sacrifice that Stiles, Allison, and Scott make was the surrogate sacrifice ritual that Deaton knew how to perform. It put darkness around their hearts and gave them the ability to locate the Nemeton. But that was it, right?

It didn't also act as another virgin sacrifice, right?

Scott? Not a virgin.

Allison? Not a virgin.

Stiles? Not a vir—OH WAIT.

Stiles.

Unintentionally committing a virgin sacrifice by sacrificing himself and giving another spark of power to the Nemeton. And this time, it bumps the nemeton back up to full power after Derek had previously sparked it back to life.

Now, you might be saying:

"But what about Jennifer? She committed virgin sacrifices, too!"

She did. But not to the Nemeton. She was a druid emissary long before the Nemeton was brought back to life. And druids have the ability to perform rituals to basically earn themselves more powers. Those virgin sacrifices that she did in the first few episodes of 3A went straight to herself, not to the Nemeton.

Which means the next virgin sacrifice in the queue was the one that Stiles made by drowning himself, not knowing that he was technically committing two different sacrifices that night.

Derek commits a virgin sacrifice. Then Stiles commits a virgin sacrifice (albeit by sacrificing himself instead of another person). Two consecutive virgin sacrifices by Derek and Stiles, separated by years, and both totally unintentional. And yet both sacrifices powered back up the dead Nemeton.

We know the Nemeton is at least somewhat sentient as it can pick and choose who to let get close to it in the woods. So, who's to say that the Nemeton doesn't hold Derek and Stiles in high regard for bringing it back to life? Who's to say that the Nemeton isn't thankful?

Hmm?

Perhaps, even thankful enough to give Derek and Stiles the ultimate gift in its gratitude? The gift of a son? The gift of a son, born from the Nemeton?

Even Eli seems to have some random, totally strange connection to the Nemeton without really having an explanation for it. He just randomly sleepwalks in the middle of the night and ends up at the Nemeton.

Why?

Now, you could argue that Eli has been sleepwalking out to the Nemeton because of the whole Allison situation in the movie. But what sense does that make? Eli doesn't know Allison Argent. He never did. She was dead before he was even born.

But if we're getting meta in here, Eli just so happens to be 15 years old (the same age Derek was when he sacrificed Paige in the root cellar and woke the Nemeton up). Maybe the Nemeton thinks 15 is the perfect age to start dropping hints to Eli.

In my mind, Deaton was called out to the Nemeton in the middle of the night and found little Eli as a newborn in a little wicker basket made from Nemeton branches and soft leaves, just sitting there asleep in the middle of the Nemeton stump.

And Deaton, being a druid and the old Hale family emissary, knew exactly what the Nemeton was offering and why it was offering it. So, he dropped Eli in his basket onto Derek's doorstep, knocked real loud, and watched as Derek adopted the boy—totally unaware that Eli is 50/50 both his and Stiles'.

But that conversation comes much later.

So, there you have it.

Eli Stilinski-Hale. The son of the Nemeton. The son of Derek Hale and Stiles Stilinski.

🌱