This User Likes Their Men A Little Fucked Up, Evil, And Maybe Even Barely Human

sorry mom, i got a small unpopular blog to run

suck, and i cannot stress this enough, my cock to the fucking base

FedEx: shits on my box, stomps on my box, kicks it, dumps gasoline on it, throws one of my chickens into the back of the van UPS: whispers at my front door “is anyone home” as quietly as possible before leaving a “we missed you!” note, tries to gaslight me into thinking my address doesn’t exist USPS: sets my package down gently where it’s not visible from the road, knocks on the door and kisses me directly on the mouth

Bruce: I left instructions for everyone while I'm gone.

Jason: Mine just says "Jason no."

Bruce: I want you to apply it to every possible situation.

I know I don’t post all lot on tumblr dot com but where else am I able to shout into the void about being horn-knee and have no one bat an eye

now 2 beanie baby dragons are crossing your dash together :3

me to the three people who interact with my posts

no, spotify, i don't want to use ai to "turn my ideas into playlists". i already fucking do that with my brain and hands and i do it for fun. what, should i get ai to pet my cat for me? to play my silly games for me? to spend time with my beautiful wife for me? how about i rend you asunder