I Keep Drawing Penis...

musk is going to die in a Tesla explosion in 6 months after sticking his nose where it doesn't belong and we will never get a conclusive answer on whether it was a CIA car bomb or just a normal Tesla malfunction

s h o u l d e r p a i n

This is REALLY how I find out about that huh

Breaking News Alert: our gracious prince has found the beautiful young woman who came thrice to his ball—once in a dress shimmering like starlight, once in a dress luminous as the moon, and once in a dress as golden and radiant as the sun on a summer day—only to discover that she was a scullery maid working in his own kitchen! needless to say she has been executed

Source: abdul_rabby___

Got another one

Leave me alone anthony james, in the name of the lord

villains are fine when they kill people I draw the line at being horrific parents though

FedEx: shits on my box, stomps on my box, kicks it, dumps gasoline on it, throws one of my chickens into the back of the van UPS: whispers at my front door “is anyone home” as quietly as possible before leaving a “we missed you!” note, tries to gaslight me into thinking my address doesn’t exist USPS: sets my package down gently where it’s not visible from the road, knocks on the door and kisses me directly on the mouth