Can I Get A Pound Of The Virginia Ham And Can You Whimper A Little While Youre Slicing It. Yeah Daddy

I love when Peter asks Felicia 'What's wrong with you', because although I love her, I too want to know what's wrong with her lol

doodlin gwenmj to keep my mind off the heat

do you have any pointers in writing peter's voice? for fic purposes ofc. like, are there any particular words he uses a lot? nicknames? i know he jokes a lot, but like, in a specific way?

Thank you for asking about the specifics of how Peter jokes, because something that’s been frustrating me a lot in recent comics is how wrong they’ve been getting it. Everything I’m about to say refers specifically to 616′s Peter Parker, for the record. So my first tip with Peter’s voice is a general one, and it’s to put as much steel behind his voice as you can. Write him like a man who has spent half of his life being able to bench press a bus and who can sense a gun and move to stop it before its drawn.

On top of all of that, he’s a certified genius and worse yet, he knows it. So you know, he’s going to be kind of obnoxious. Peter has, over the years, stated three main reasons for why he makes jokes in the costume: the first is that it centers him. The second is that it helps to keep civilians calm. The third is that it throws whoever he’s fighting off their rhythm. It’s useful to keep the reasoning behind him making a joke in mind while you’re writing him – is he saying it to get under someone’s skin or to lighten the mood? How Peter jokes with people in his life vs how the jokes he throws around while he’s fighting are also very different things, and I think the inability to separate them from each other is a big part of the dilution of the character’s voice. Consider the greater scene when writing a joke into his dialogue – does it fit the mood? Personally I’d rather fewer jokes and him written like a real character than seeing him as a perpetual humor machine who spits out rambling dialogue regardless of context. Hickman’s writing for him in FF (2011) #1-11 is really standout in this regard; it’s a serious book, so by in large Peter acts seriously within it. I think funny gets unfairly equated with immature a lot, and immature is not something Peter traditionally embodies. I also think writing Peter as genuinely insecure, especially as an adult, is an easy mistake to make – he uses self-deprecating humor not infrequently, but it’s not really a sign of how he views himself. He’s just an obnoxious, sarcastic New Yorker. (This isn’t necessarily a useful piece of advice, but if you can familiarize yourself with strong New York-based humor, I find it helps a lot. But I live twenty minutes outside of the city and my mom is a Brooklyn native and I know this isn’t really possible for everyone.) I’ve talked a lot about the Jewish coding of Peter Parker, but his wit and how it ties into where he lives plays a big part of this: Jewish humor employs wit as a weapon. Peter is punchy both physically and verbally. He’s sharp-tongued, observational, and witty. In fights, he tends to be very direct:

(Spectacular Spider-Man #71, #105, and #140) Or alternatively, extremely mocking:

(Spectacular Spider-Man #67 and #145) The dialogue here is funny, but it’s pretty distinctly sarcastic and really aggressive. If you compare it this scene where he’s joking with Mary Jane to try and put her at ease in Amazing Spider-Man #511, you can spot the difference pretty easily:

Here he’s talking loose and a little ramble-y, weaving a ridiculous story, a little awkward. It’s not aggressive, it’s not sarcastic. (But again, note the beats here: statement, period, statement, etc, then he slides into the rambling. It’s punchy.) Write the humor and how he speaks around his mood and who he’s with. If he’s in a good mood with someone he loves, he’s verbally very gentle. If he’s in a bad mood – and he has a definite temper – and he’s around someone he loves, while he’d never intentionally be physically violent with them, he can verbally lash out.

(Spectacular Spider-Man #191)

Marvel Knights Spider-Man #5 – he’s technically right; he hurts people for free. :P But he’s very good at hurting people, and that extends to doing it emotionally. He’s got a sharp tongue along with that hot temper and he’s not always great about holding it. Don’t be afraid to let him be an asshole if the situation calls for it.

Referential humor, or jokes involving current (or what the author believes is current) pop culture are a really new addition to his repertoire and one I’m not a big fan of; traditionally, he’s depicted as someone who is behind the times when it comes to media, and also as someone who, beyond the fact that he’s too busy for it, doesn’t really care. Humor is an entirely subjective thing, but I find in canon these kinds of jokes come up when the writer isn’t all that confident in his voice, so they write him around a joke they’ve come up with instead of writing the jokes around him. As an added con, these kind of jokes date the work – a good joke will be funny now and it’ll be funny in 20 years. A joke that requires the audience to have specific pop culture knowledge relevant to the times is going to get lost in translation sooner or later. Don’t over explain your jokes, either, as a general rule when writing comedy. It can be tempting, but if you’re not sure the joke isn’t going to fly under the radar, it’s better to cut it than to segue away trying to clarify it. Trust your audience to get it or leave it out. Don’t feel pressured to joke all the time, either – like I said, he’s not a perpetual joke machine and writing him like that makes him feel like less of a real character. He can be very serious. When he’s extremely angry, he drops the jokes – and occasionally words altogether – entirely.

(Amazing Spider-Man #539.)

Apart from the jokes, I don’t know if there are particular words he uses a lot. He’s got a pretty good vocabulary, so you can pull out whatever words you want for him. He does like a good (or bad) nickname. He calls Aunt May “pretty lady” all the time, and Mary Jane “pretty girl” and a whole host of other terms of endearments like honey/baby/sweetheart/hot stuff etc (nice job calling your wife the same thing you call your best friend the Human Torch, Peter). He’s a big terms of endearment guy – he’s used “kid/kiddo” with multiple partners, which is vaguely appalling, but that’s him for you. I know terms of endearments can be a bit of a mixed bag with writers and readers. Some people like them, some don’t, so if you’re not big on them I don’t think anyone would fault you for leaving the honey/baby/sweethearts etc out of his dialogue, but he does canonically use them with his significant other. (He and Felicia have canonically referred to each other as ‘baby’ while not in a relationship, so do with that one what you will.) 

(Amazing Spider-Man #86, Spectacular Spider-Man #154, Marvel Knights Spider-Man #5, Peter Parker v2 #2) One other thing I think it’s important to note with Peter is that he’s deeply, deeply romantic and I think on a very instinctual level, he’s a comforter. If someone he loves is in pain or worried, he wants to make them feel better and he wants to fix the situation, and that’s going to come out in his voice along with his actions. He’s a fixer, in and out of costume.

This all just stuff I keep in mind for myself when writing him, but for me he’s a very instinctual character – if a line feels right, go for it. Good luck and happy writing! 

i know peter has a perception as one of the nicer superheroes, especially compared to like. batman or daredevil. but like, it really boils when they conflate usually minimizing damage to not being feared/being harmless/disliking hurting people because

this is a man who

chased a robber around until he got a heart attack

came this close to murdering the goblin

gave otto arachnophobia after putting him in the hospital. it didnt stick obv, but the point stands

has ripped people's faces off. on at least two occasions when pressed

the entire back in black saga

is, and i cannot stress this enough, a man who legitimately thinks violence solves his problems

and more

Felicia has nictating membranes in her eyes, and only needs to blink once every one or two hours

Peter Parker should be mobster hot, I think. Like, he’s canonically good-looking, but crooked nose lends him a strong hint of eau de peril. Vaguely dangerous looking man with a camera

web shooters

with unnecessary details like "how does peter cope with adiabatic cooling on his highly pressurized web cartridges"

1/5 star review to this superhero couple

Do NOT hire them