Paper-nightlight - 💫

my impulse control abandoned me and now i have aquatic plants being shipped to me for no reason i need to improve my reasoning i think 

concept: elves are supernaturally good at everything ONLY because they live to be bonkers old and if you were hot and sexy for thousands of years you’d be kickass at archery and treeclimbing and horseback riding too. but like there’s 20 year old elves out there that are just straight dumbasses who can’t do shit.

concept: non-elves can’t tell the 20 year old elves apart from the 2000 year old elves

concept: there’s a 20 year old elf in your tavern and he’s counting on this 

Today I saw a leaf that looked like a frog and I was like haha nice and then it hopped because it WAS a frog and I started crying bc life is really full of everyday miracles including but not limited to experiencing frogs

A classic | he was fuckin it up 😂

By the way, just in case this helps someone -

COOKING - creativity is okay

BAKING - stick to the recipe (you can usually adjust sugar content to taste, though)

BREAD - wait for the right weather conditions (or engineer them), be one assertive and self-confident motherfucker because dough can feel it if you aren’t, a blood sacrifice probably helps, trust the gods 

Once in middle school my friend Olivia had her phone taken away during lunch, and because she had a bad reputation she couldn’t just go to the office and get her phone back from the principal after lunch. I ended up walking in and asking for her phone back and when the principal asked what my name was, I said “Olivia” because I wasn’t sure if she had her name anywhere on her phone or anything (this was the mid 2000s and at the time it was popular to have a flip phone with a front screen so you could put your name on it)

After I get Olivia’s phone back, my friend and I go to the bathroom because we’re going to skip the last couple classes of the day because we’re awful goblin children. We’re chilling in the bathroom when the gym teacher comes in and sees a skipping class. She proceeds to essentially drag us by the ear to the principal’s office to report us and get a signed up for detention. The principle refers to me as Olivia multiple times during this process. My name is not Olivia. At this point I’m just praying that no one points out the fact that my name is not Olivia and then I can just get my detention to be on my way.

My name discrepancy surprisingly never gets brought up. I couldn’t even imagine the shit that I would be in if they had pointed out that my name was not Olivia.

When I moved on to the high school, the principal came with us and became the vice principal of the high school. he was a friendly guy and would greet students in the hallway every morning. He referred me as Olivia every single time I saw him until graduation when my name was announced, and that it was not in fact Olivia, and as he was helping me down from the stage after getting my diploma I could see the realization on his face that I had basically made him think that my name is Olivia for over five years.

[ID: A quick comic done in bright colors of Helen, a woman with long spindly fingers, claw-like red painted nails, and a gray skirtsuit. It also features some random couple she presumably accosted on the street.

Helen, trying to lure the random couple into her yellow murder door: And this is a hellish nightmare death hallway with no way to escape.

Helen: Could be a nursery.

/End ID]

Helen goes back to work and honestly it’s basically exactly the same as before.

this repressed memory slapped me in the face a couple of days ago

transcription/translation: 

[”je suis allé” (I went) being written on a board by a child] 

[another child pops into frame only to say, “faut ajouter un autre ‘e’ parce que t’es une fille” (you need to add another “e” because you’re a girl)]

[the first child looks mildly scandalized and says, “j’dois faire quoi ?” (I have to do what?)] 

[the child looks increasingly scandalized, stares directly into your soul, and says, “j’dois reconnaître mon sexe ? à cet âge ??” (I have to confront my gender? at this age??)] 

‪That’s how babies are made ‬

im going through my skyrim screenshot folder