Fucking Forehead To Forehead Is So Intimate Like Pls... Be Careful........ Our Souls Are Gonna Get Intertwined........

the horrors are endless. but we stay silly :3

narratives about doomed love that aren’t romantic in nature. the love between siblings who understand each other the most but are growing apart no matter how much they try to come back to one another. the love between friends whose life paths pull them apart and they never see each other again, only remembering the face of a once kind childhood. the love for a hometown that year by year becomes less and less the one that raised you until you are a foreigner in your own backyard. there was no stopping it. the love was there and it mattered and you can never come back again.

the things I would do for eris vanserra rn

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!tw!: mentions of pedophilia, sexual assault, basically my encounter with a sexual predator (no detailed descriptions or anything, just me telling the story of how i was exposed to one)

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kids just kinda... have a sixth sense... i can’t really explain it,, but like,, they can tell if an adult is a sexual predator or dangerous or something. i’ve seen this happen so many times, but the one event that confirms it is actually something that I experienced with my karate instructor.

when i was about six or seven, i went to karate classes twice a week. my dad would drive me there, then sit and read a book (usually the chronicles of narnia or lord of the rings or something like that) in a chair at the edge of the room with the other parents.

 i had always felt uneasy around the instructor, but i passed it off as me being super shy. it eventually got to the point where if he got within three feet of me, i’d immediately start shaking and my heart would race and stuff. 

the breaking point was about eight or nine weeks into classes. for some reason, as soon as he stopped next to me, i burst into tears. (now, when i was a kid, i didn’t cry. i just didn’t. i’d scrape my knee, fall off my bike, hit my head, but i almost never cried.) cue everyone asking me if i was alright and crowding around me and stuff, but i just ran over to my dad and jumped into his arms, refusing to let go of him. after a solid ten minutes of me sobbing my heart out into his shirt, he pulled me from the class, took me out for ice cream, and drove me home, playing my favorite heavy metal songs for me (yeah i had weird taste in music as a kid).

after that, i refused to go back to karate. i dug my heels in and would throw a temper tantrum that shook the ground if my parents tried to get me to go to karate. so, i never went back. 

i’d mostly forgotten about it over time, occasionally thinking about it late at night when i had trouble sleeping, but other than that, it almost completely left my mind.

that was, until earlier this morning, my dad told me that my old karate instructor had been arrested for sexually assaulting an eight year old boy, and apparently, according to his DETAILED journal, he’d been doing it since he started working as a karate instructor. boys, girls, big, little. he’d done it for decades.

who knows, i could have been one of those children. i could’ve been one of them, and i can’t stop thinking about it, along with the fact that children most definitely can, in some small part of their minds, tell if someone is dangerous. they may not know at the time what exactly is wrong, but they know that something is.

Do you ever go “ wow ok” and shut down entirely

Day one of Keeping Up With The Vanserras

Lady of Autumn [The Life of LoA]

“I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it.” - Maya Angelou

@keepingupwiththevanserras

I think a big reason why "children are an oppressed group" gets (wrongly!) read as a "pedophile talking point" is that everyone treats children so terribly that actual child molesters can speedrun winning a kid's trust by like, actually respecting their needs and perspective, at least at first. Which means that the only way out of this mess is for all of us adults to treat children with respect, so that abusers can't use the rareness of that respect as a weapon.

his big doleful eyes and violently self-destructive tendencies have captivated me

thinking of when vincent van gogh said that “poverty stops the best minds in their tracks” and how art would see a new era if we funded struggling independent artists instead of hiring talentless nepotism babies.

you know what today i’ve decided to arbitrarily die on the hill that the palpatine/yoda fight in revenge of the sith is awesome. Because even if it “looks bad” and “yoda should be a wise sage and not be doing flips” I think its very funny. It’s a little green frog guy and an old man trying desperately to murder each other and in-universe it would be like if joe biden and the pope had a death brawl in the middle of congress where they threw all the chairs at each other