Dude This Line Read Is So Good

I don't think anyone's experienced pure joy until they've dyed their hair while watching Bob's burgers. I may be a loser but I am free

Also getting in my feelings a bit, may the leopards not go hungry.

Sticker available.

guys brilliant au idea but i cant draw so if anyone who can draw sees this feel free to draw smth based off it

its vaguely like the fresh meat au except bob and linda get arrested. hear me out.

the family is still technically a cannibal family but the kids dont know. bob and linda put human meat in the burgers, all their food, they kill and slaughter people, but the kids have no idea this is happening. when tinas 11 (genes 9, louise is 7), bob and linda get arrested for killing people and eating them. the kids are then in and out of orphanages and the streets, and tina has to spend some time in a hospital because of mental illness, but eventually mickey and the other carnies take them in for good. the au takes place two years after the show does (louise is 11, gene is 13, tinas 15 in high school), and the kids are trying to lead normal lives in carniapolis.

individual characters

mickey - their main father figure, the kids live in his trailer, hes still a sort of sketchy guy but has a fairly stable job and loves the kids, a really good guy, not very different from the show but is more worried about the kids now, especially tina because she remembers everything

louise - big goof, kind of a hooligan, wears pajamas pretty much everywhere, still wears her hat, a lot less socialized, curses way too much, has a lot of flashbacks of her parents in her nightmares, sleeps really poorly, a lot more messy, starts play fights a lot more, still close with rudy when she comes back to middle school, clings to tina and misses her at school, all the kids are fluent/semi-fluent in a couple of languages but because she's been speaking spanish since she was seven, she speaks in mostly spanglish now, punk and 2000s emo fan, same sorta relationship with mickey that she had with linda, her parents kind of feels like ghosts that never even had the respect to haunt her

gene - a lot like louise he is also a little more punkish, only eats junk food, sisters have to force him to shower, still plays his little casio but its a lot more decorated and falling apart, kept one of lindas scarves and wears it everywhere he goes, snores loud as FUCK, even worse at reading rooms, met alex and courtney and are close with both of them, also knows spanish but is also fluent in russian because of a carnie named Georgi (doesnt exist but i made them exist), he picked it up so fast!! (ref to eugene mirman), listens to classic hiphop and jazz, close with mickey in the way he was close with bob, remembers his parents fairly well but feels more upset theyre gone than mad at what they did

tina - pretty similar to her original character, just more emotionally muted, like similar to the first seasons but maybe more angry, pretty blank and silent until shes around her siblings, then she gets more animated and seems a bit happier, remembers all of it the most, learned to be a really good fighter, incredibly strong but too thin, gives most of her food to louise and gene, very messy oversized clothes, sweaters and jewelry she made herself, cries in her sleep, when she goes back to school (she's the last to do so), all her old friends (jj, zeke, jocelyn, tammy, susmita, etc.) sit next to her silently and act like she was always there (shes so grateful they never treated her differently even after everything), knows a lot of languages, fluent in english and spanish very good at mandarin knows a little bit of italian and knows every russian curse word, listens to riot grrrl and old hippie rock mickey showed her, very close with all the carnies, especially a lady named Bernie (also does not exist in canon, i made her up), remembers everything, still loves her parents more than anything, just wants them back in her life

bob and linda - in prision, rotting like the people they killed, as much as i love them in canon, this version of them deserves to rot

i can’t escape him

just graduated from completely normal girl school little do they know i have headcanons and a name for david and gwens kid

wait no, thats how the land is inhospitable and so are we makes me feel. punisher makes me feel like a ghost watching their funeral where everyone highlights their flaws in whispered conversations behind hands and then pretends to cry and care around the mourners, knowing that the cycle of life will continue and only one image of them will ever exist in their loved ones heads, theres nothing they can do to fix it now. in a way it hurts, they can't right all the wrongs. but on the other hand, its freeing. they don't have to right the wrongs, they can just put them to rest. burning all your bridges means you have no more bridges left to burn.

listening to the entirety of punisher (phoebe bridgers) in order makes me feel like a dog who, without realizing it, let its instincts take over and is now looking in terror at the carnage of the lamb it slaughtered, crimson dripping from its yellow teeth, tears pathetically running from its dark brown eyes

FAVORITE TINA PLAYLIST WAS DELETED OFF SPOTIFY I WILL NEVER RECOVER

ur future nurse is using chapgpt to glide thru school u better take care of urself

WHERE ARE MY CARD CAPTOR SAKURA WATCHERS AT

Where are my glitterforce and glitterforce doki doki ppl. Do they exist?? Feel like yall would be cool

Finally the Good Luck babe cover by Dipper and Mabel <3