Oh

kou and his three max blush line whenever he’s flustered for mitsuba

Nene after the severance probably

girl take ur meds!!! Now!!!

Hanako as a representation of abuse

This is an extensive post of how abuse afflicted Yugi Amane and even Hanako's behavior well into afterlife. Of course, emotional abuse is directly related to physical abuse, so I'll be talking about them together for the most part.

1. Behavioural Signs in Yugi Amane

We don't know why or who is behind this, and I won't particularly talk about it since it's not the focus anyway. We know his abuse started somewhere during his first year and was repeated until his suicide, july of his 2nd year. According to Tsuchigomori, he was badly injured every single day, so that's at least around a year worth of constant physical abuse.

However, it's important to note that it's very likely that before the physical abuse, emotional abuse was already consistently taking place, with multiple signs- He's isolated, experiences social withdrawal and has no friends, skips classes & school activities and has poor academic performance that contrasts his actual capabilities.

His emotional development is poor; He has difficulties expressing and understanding his own feelings, very likely a factor in the degradation of his and Tsukasa's relationship where Tsukasa can't understand Amane and Amane can't understand Tsukasa either due to lack of proper communication, and something that carries well over into the afterlife as Hanako.

The physical abuse worsened his already messed up mental state, and everything ultimately drove him into depression. He engages in behavior that puts his own safety in jeopardy (Like when he was way too close to falling over the window, both of his feet were at the very edge of the window frame), and while his love towards space stayed the same, he was overtaken by feelings of helplessness.

Even a rock could travel from the Moon to Earth, which gave him hope. It's important to highlight the word "even". He claims that if 'even' a rock can go this far, so can he, suggesting very low self-esteem. It's an object that carried him through many hardships because of this hope, but everything got so bad said hope just made him feel worse. At some point he started experiencing active suicidal ideation, marked by him giving away his treasured possession to Tsuchigomori in order to rid himself of this "hope", and declaring that he decided he wouldn't "go anywhere", a clear metaphor for deciding he would give up on his future and take his own life. He decided he cannot go anywhere near farther than a rock.

2. Behavioural signs in Hanako

As we mostly see his ghost self, we have a clearer vision of Hanako than we have of Amane. We can easily see his horribly low self-esteem and feelings of worthlessness. When we catch a glimpse of his perspective, we see how distorted his sense of self is.

He repeatedly claims that he isn't worth anything and that his existence itself is a punishment, and so refuses to disappear, considering that it would only be a release from the torment he deserves.

He hates himself down to his core, although this is a combined result of both depression via his experienced abuse and his PTSD of the murder-suicide. As Amane, he was capable of saying that it's fine if he's tormented this terribly, that even if there's no reason for it, he forgives it, massively contrasting Hanako who is incapable of forgiving himself, claiming that even if he had a super special reason for Tsukasa's murder, there's not a single justification that would warrant forgiveness. He's capable of forgiving anything that anyone does to him no matter how horrible, but not of forgiving himself.

As such, verbal abuse directed at him is taken positively by him, such as when Akane states that "reformed villains", refering to Hanako, make him sick, continuing to talk about how he can never take back what he did, essentially degrading him. He was given very harsh words that visibly hurt him, even implying that it triggered his PTSD for a moment, yet he could only claim that Akane is the type of person he likes most, as he was essentially validating and feeding into Hanako's already deeply negative view of himself.

This is also supported by his time in the Picture Perfect arc via his belief that he's undeserving of anything better for himself. Hanako said it himself in 71 that he wished he could've lived a normal life with Nene and Kou, and the Picture World reflected exactly that.

It's a world that was shaped exactly like he wanted, and that's exactly why he hated it. He knew what his reality was, and furthermore, he knows of his crimes and how he was the one who destroyed his own future, and so thinks he's undeserving of it.

He refuses to look at the stars for too long, because that reminds him of the hopes and dreams he gave up on in reality- He has no right to dare pick them up again, further highlighted by him refusing to go on the moon in the End of a Dream. His wish wasn't granted while alive, and now can't be granted after death.

In his helplessness, he is unable to reach for better circumstances for himself. After all, he's quick to adapt to whatever bad thing comes his way. "It's just how the world works", and he has to accept it.

However, we know how that doesn't apply to the people he cares about. He may have given up on everything, but he is unable to give up on the people he loves. No matter how much he suffers, no matter what he has to do, he wants the people he loves to find happiness.

No matter how much he tried to tell himself he isn't supposed to care, he desperately wants them to live the fulfilling lives he didn't have. And if he is the one that gives them the salvation they need, he finds the indulgence to want a small part of him to live through them, the indulgence to hate himself just a little bit less.

He actively attempts to hide his past from other people, being content with them only knowing basic information about it (that he's a murderer), mainly because he doesn't want to appear vulnerable or know how much of a horrible person (according to himself) he actually is.

When it comes to people he has a good relationship with like Nene, he's actually afraid of them finding out, and even months after promising he would tell Nene everything, he's still reluctant to do so due to overall difficulty with opening up- exposure to characters or topics that relate to his past more often than not results in reactions varying from heavy emotional distress, expressing aggression, anger, guilt and/or shame, to reliving traumatic events. Avoidance seems to be his main method of coping.

Hanako suffers from emotional dysregulation. He not only has high difficulties processing and expressing his feelings, but has difficulty picking up on others' emotions as well. For half a century he had been socially and emotionally neglected while also being incapable of ever maturing past the age of 13, much less healing from his past experiences. They rather worsened due to a supernatural lifestyle. When he first met Nene, he wasn't behaving appropriately at all due to this and their relationship went through many difficulties due to his lack of boundaries and poor emotional intelligence, and him communicating his true feelings is always a rare occasion.

Not only did he not take into account other people's feelings ("Yashiro will hate it, but it's ok, she'll move on someday and live her life", not taking into account and understanding others being possibly spiteful over his actions and direct their hate towards innocent parties), he doesn't even take into account his own ("Why? Good question. Why am I doing it?" and "Even though I was prepared to never see you again, I'm so happy to have you back. Weird, right? There must be something wrong with me"). However, due to Nene's influence, he seems to be a little more upfront with his feelings lately.

He's also incredibly self-reliant. Both events of Picture Perfect and the Severance were a result of Hanako doing everything by himself without consulting anyone. He decided by himself that he's the only one that should dirty his hands as he was already a sinner, that it's easier to dump everything on the one that's already guilty of similar crimes, because he didn't have any other solution in sight. It's important to note that he took the *entire* blame for the Severance- Even if all he did was feign ignorance to no. 6's actions.

Him being grounded in the miserable reality he finds himself in is both a strength (as he is quick to adapt to his conditions) and a major weakness- He'll only be able to see the most practical, yet unfortunate approaches.

In the Clock Keepers arc, he wanted to trust Kou when he said he would save Nene, but his attempt quickly turned to failure when he was not seeing any tries, let alone results. He was even upset at Kou when he considered that if he wanted the job done he should have just done it himself, knowing that his methods aren't ones someone would approve of. Methods that he doesn't approve of himself, but carried them out anyway in his despair.

In fact, Hanako did not break free from the shackles of abuse. He is a child that has been placed in a position of leadership filled with various responsibilities for fifty years. He is committed to his duties as a mystery after being promised salvation by 'God', believing that his sins would be forgiven, but he's essentially just being used.

He is, in present time, still repeatedly emotionally abused, manipulated and exploited to fulfill others' agenda. After all, control is at the heart of abuse, and his vulnerabilities will continue to just get taken advantage of as long as he's only capable of masking and avoiding them. However, Nene's influence upon him seems to make him capable of slightly improving himself, even if it's just very small steps at a time.

Something about the penguins being associated with cuteness and Kou being completely enamoured with Mitsuba smiling with the penguin keychain and swimming in the penguin tank

aidairo twitter post - february 27, 2020

Amane's/Hanako's memory loss

We know that Amane/Hanako doesn't remember some parts of his past, the most notable being the reason he was fixing the clock.

However, there are some other things that he doesn't remember. And those things are... his encounters with Nene when she traveled to the past.

Yet, at the same time, he subconsciously recalls them.

1. "Body remembers but mind doesn't" instance #1: The Tanabata Star Festival 

I don't think that Nene changed the timeline when she traveled to the past, but rather it was destined to happen in the previous timeline, because note that before she traveled to the past to meet little Amane, Hanako was already confused as his heart started to beat faster after Nene whacked his forehead.

Like, the whack triggered the sensations he had when Nene kissed his forehead in the past. That's why the "?" like, "Why am I feeling so nervous out of nothing because she whacked my forehead?" It's like, his body remembers what happened even if his mind doesn't.

Something interesting is that Amane doesn't remember Nene 4 years later.

Many people think that it's because he met her when he was little and then he forgot about her because he grew up, but I don't think that's the case. For example, even though Tsukasa was 4 when he first met Nene, he still remembered her when he was 12.

I think Nene had such a strong impact on Amane when he was 8.

He liked her because of her fat ankles, then blushed because she cleaned his mouth with a handkerchief, had a crush on her after this and was willing to give her his one wishing slip. Then, he told her she was his type and he even changed his wish of becoming an astronaut, to meeting her once again, writing her name in the process. Finally, he hung the wishing slips she gave him from the big wish tree and smiled as he looked at them. She was his first love!

That's why it doesn't make sense that he doesn't remember her.

It’s as if his memories were altered while he was still alive. But by whom? Could it be The Clock Keepers? Did Amane became a Clock Keeper in the ages of 8-12? Could an accident that happened during that time, make him lose his memories? (Before the one that happened at the school festival).

Or could it be Tsukasa who manipulated their "accidental encounters" through time so that they would develop their bond, but it was very important that Amane wouldn't remember Nene at the same time, hence, he altered Amane's memories so that his big plan to grant Amane's wish could work?

2. "Body remembers but mind doesn't" instance #2: Picture Perfect

At first, we weren’t sure whether what Hanako did to Nene when he locked her up was a kiss on the forehead or showing him getting closer to hug her. However, with the recent official art and the anime, it’s clear that it was a kiss on the forehead.

It doesn't seem that Hanako remembers something about her from when he was alive, though. He just subconsciously remembers the kiss she gave him on the forehead. I think it became something really special to him, a sweet gesture of affection.

3."Body remembers but mind doesn't" instance #3: The magic spell

So, this is another example of how Hanako subconsciously recalls the kiss Nene gave him when he was 8, but as I previously said, it's very clear that he doesn't remember meeting her when he was still alive.

Still, his emotions and actions scream and show how much that interaction meant to him when he could remember. It's as if those memories are trying to emerge from the depths of his mind.

It's also an example that shows that what happened in the past with Nene, is already part of the previous timeline.

I know that it started with Hanako giving a kiss to Nene as a magic spell, so she replicated it with Amane, but also Hanako seemed confused when his body reacted to Nene's whack on his forehead at the festival.

I think he replicated the kiss Nene gave him on the forehead when he kissed her cheek, but if he hadn't done it, Nene wouldn't have replicated it with Amane.

It's like a causal circle of kisses interactions. Like there's no beginning or ending. It was everything at the same time, in some way and no kiss interaction could have existed without the other (When I started to write this theory I didn't know I could be analysing these kisses interactions this deeply lol but it's very interesting).

4. "Body remembers but mind doesn't" instance #4: Love at first sight

Another example of he has memory loss but his body remembers is the day Hanako met Nene for the first time because she wanted him to grant her wish.

What if Tsukasa planned everything from the beginning? How did he know that Nene would have such a strong impact on Hanako? Hanako liked Nene at first sight!

It's as if Tsukasa knew he could take advantage of the feelings Hanako had for Nene and he made them a crucial part of his plans. It's also strange the way Hanako got attached to Nene so quickly and it's like Tsukasa was expecting Hanako to get attached to her that quickly.

I think that aside from the time travel events that are shown in the story so far, something really important happened between Nene and the Yugi twins when they were alive.

Those interactions made Tsukasa realize that Amane/Hanako's and Nene's feelings were mutual, or maybe he manipulated everything so that they could fall in love with each other (That would make him HanaNene biggest shipper lol).

(This is a "Which came first, the chicken or the egg?" kind of situation. My head is gonna explode hahaha)

Either way, Hanako doesn't seem to remember Nene because his memories related to her are altered along with his reason for fixing the clock. Could his memories about Nene and the clock be related?

Tsukasa knows the full story.

Me every Sunday:

The thoughts:

TOILET-BOUND HANAKO-KUN (2025) 12. picture perfect

"i can't resist a wish from you."

And to think that Nene actually got a kiss on the forehead from Hanako.

But we couldn't appreciate it because we were too busy trying not to feel angry at Hanako for locking Nene in the tower. ^_^