Some Cool Stuff I Saw In The Forest Last Sunday!!

the revelation that claudia’s rebirth was such a twisted and horrible moment, with louis dragging her like she was a thing, a stranger who neither of them knew but he kept saying over and over “our daughter, our beautiful little daughter” to lestat, really solidified the way she was never the main character of her own story. she was always an accessory to some or the other of louis’ whims: his guilt, his loneliness, his conflict of being a killer, his rocky relationship with lestat. there was love there, love from both her fathers, but it was never enough. lestat saw her too much as a wretched mirror held up to his own self, and louis was always too steeped in his own feelings to care enough about hers. claudia’s story truly was the greatest tragedy in this tale, treated horribly by every man around her, even her fathers, relentlessly exploited and brutally ignored, always second and never first. the only one who loved her the way she deserved to be loved was madeleine, and the moment she truly had her, her happiness was torn from her. and just before she died, she got to see someone actually choose her in her entirety, not for what she can be but for who she is, and it still wasn’t enough. she still burned alive in the sunlight. the love was there, but it wasn’t enough to save her.

Thinking about how, whether he is conscious of it or not, Armand has already partially broken the cycle of abuse he was subjected to, simply by not turning Daniel when he was young.

The precise nature of Armand's very existence is a permanent reminder of what he was forced to live through, regardless of if he even has the ability to process the trauma in the first place. If he so much as catches his reflection out of the corner of his eye, he is reminded of the coveting and commodification of his youth and how the most innocent time of his life was weaponised against him. He is frozen there. His face looks so innocent because it creates a satisfying contrast with his actions narratively, but its also because he was. He was innocent. And that was stolen from him by selfish, greedy people who pretended their actions were out of love.

By letting Daniel go (assuming Devil's Minion era happened in the seventies), Armand protected him from this. Daniel experienced his entire youth and what it was like to age out of it without the fear of no longer having value like Armand did, and then came adulthood. He has lived to an age that Arun never could have dreamt of, that Amadeo was forced to realise, at one point, he would never experience, not in the human sense at least. He'll never have lines on his face like Daniel does. His worry lines and smile lines will never deepen. He won't develop crow's feet from squinting in the sun, which turned its back on him long ago anyway. His hair will never grey. Marius made certain of that.

But Daniel got to have all of that. His beloved got to live his life, fuck it up over and over and make a million mistakes. He had the freedom and the agency to do it. Armand will not see it, but he gave Daniel exactly what was taken from him so long ago. He is not just evil. He does not destroy everything. He gave Daniel the real gift, and now they get to move onto the next stage of Daniel's life together (after a couple seasons of slow burn I would imagine).

Just as he sees the tragedy of his past on his own face, he sees the potential he has to be different on Daniel's. He has immortalised true beauty in Daniel. The beauty of having lived a long life.

I absolutely love stranger quests bc wdym the gang is on the verge of collapse, being chased by pinkertons, their found family is dying and falling apart, and then there's Arthur is on the other side of the country chasing a lion and recreating frankenstein.

Arthur, using his last breaths to convince Dutch that Micah is a rat, pleading with the man that raised him to listen to him.

He knew he wasn't getting off that mountain, and he still used his last moments to try and warn Dutch.

Even at the very end, in a way, Arthur was loyal to Dutch, Dutch just couldn't see it.

"the honor of a man"

Something that kills me about rdr1 is John's apparent feelings towards the Javier, Bill, and Dutch.

Javier, he is 50/50 with. He can kill him or turn him in alive. It's clear that he's still very hurt from what happened between them, but it's also apparent how he still cares deeply for him. He talks highly of him. Fondly, even, as Reyes puts it. When choosing to kill Javier, he sheds a tear before bitterly spitting on his body.

When killing Bill, John shows little to no remorse. Sure, he tries to settle things civilly to begin with, but after realizing that he has no other choice, he doesn't make a big fuss about it. He doesn't think twice about shooting Bill in the dirt and handing his body over.

Then there's Dutch.

After handing over Bill's body, John demands his family be returned home safe and sound, only for Agent Ross to remind him that he still needs to find Dutch. John doesn't want to. He was trying to get out of it. He was hoping that Ross would just forget about Dutch now that he's gotten Javier and Bill.

John and Dutch play this cat and mouse game over and over, chasing after each other, tormenting each other, shooting at each other, but never killing one another.

Then there's the final stand off.

John had the full opportunity to shoot Dutch where he stood on the edge of that cliff, but he didn't. He couldn't. Before him, he didn't see a monster. He saw the man who raised him. He saw a father.

In his hesitation, Dutch also had every advantage to turn this around and kill John. But he doesn't. He watched Arthur die. Hell, he killed Arthur. He killed his other son, and he knows it. It haunts him. He can't kill the other one, too. So instead, he kills himself.

After his fall, Ross comments on the fact that even after all this time, John still didn't have the guts to kill Dutch. He then takes John's gun and shoots Dutch's lifeless body to make it appear as if John had killed him. "Looks better in the papers," he says.

It's such a heartbreaking detail. They couldn't hurt each other up on Mount Hagen. They couldn't hurt each other in the end.

collecting sad pathetic male characters like they are stuffed animals to arrange on my bed

washing off the stench of death

dunno if I like this sketch or no

he’s a 70 year old man. he’s a newborn vampire. he’s a bright young reporter with a point of view. he’s got a 100% divorce rate including a marriage that wasn’t even his. he’s a homewrecker. he’s bisexual. he was sexually attracted to both men in said marriage that wasn’t his. he looked a 514 year old ruthless vampire who psychologically tortured him in the eye and exposed his darkest secret that he’s kept for 77 years. and he’s going to fuck that newly single vampire the second he gets a chance. meet daniel molloy everyone