What Am I Being Advertised Here Exactly

Crying sobbing throwing up falling over @lem0ngh0stt DREW ME AT WORK!!! :'))))) he captured the chaotic nature of my desk and my love of pins and sparkling water. He even threw in my cat, Hypnos, though unfortunately she does not often accompany me to the lab. Anyway I love this and my friends :]

Okay I've slept off my edible and double-checked with 4CL. I am actually flying to Germany early July for work. God gives His silliest clowns His funniest battles.

HUGE proponent of selective stupidness btw. Quality of life through the roof.

mini(?) life update

graduation, amongst other things.

I almost wish I could say that I've been inactive because the Lab has been giving me crazy work, or I've been busy with something or another, but the weirdest thing is that that's not the case, but I still feel off.

I graduated a few months ago, now. I'm probably not done with academics as a whole, but I had decided before graduating that I would be taking some time off before going back to school. At the same time, the Lab has given me a psuedo-summer break - technically I work there still, yes, but assignments have been unusually slow, to the point where I haven't actually had to be in the lab for...since graduation, essentially. Maybe it's their way of apologizing to me for putting me through how hectic they made my last summer (and fall, and winter).

So my social life, work life, and inner life have all experienced some drastic changes - moving away from campus, not being active with work, the resulting personal challenged with lack of motivation, routine, energy...I know it won't last forever, that once I find my next step in life it'll change, and that I'm definitely not the first person to graduate and feel this way, but I grow tired and frustrated with my own listlessness. Even with the prospect of using the time to pursue hobbies and projects, I find myself immediately deprived of the ability to do it. I just end up feeling tired. And that tiredness and lack of achievement makes me feel frustrated. Etc.

Rambling now - it's only about 8:30 around here but I haven't slept well for almost a week now (thank u taps so cool), so writing isn't my strong suit atm. Thankfully I'm still talking with my therapist, and will see him tomorrow. This will probably be the first thing to come up. Hopefully I'll see y'all around soon.

✨minor life update✨ short and sweet of it: -Still in Germany -Don't have clearance from 4CL to disclose what I'm doing in Germany -I miss my cat so much -Got a new tattoo! long and savory of it: I've been in Germany for just about three weeks now, and will most likely not be returning to Chicago until late August/early September. Thankfully I left my cat in good hands and I don't have to worry about finding other people to look after her during this extended time away (but damn I miss her so much :'''') ). I don't have permission from the higher ups to talk about the stuff I've been doing with 4cast while here, but be rest assured things have been as hectic and unpredictable as normal with the lab. Other than that, I was dealing with some pretty rough TAPS episodes my first few days here - I think the stress of traveling (took me over 24 hours to get from Chicago to my initial assignment in Germany) and the new environment has been the cause. Haven't had much time to make some art out of it, but I guess the bright side is I have some good material for when I can get back to making collages? Giant butterflies and bees, big trees, melting disease. Not all of it has been pretty, and the frequent sleeping episodes did not help the jet lag. Regardless, doing better now and experiencing a more typical rate of episodes. Got a new tattoo, too! Forgot how much they hurt. Now I remember. But it looks really cool and I'm super happy with it! Hopefully I can make some more regular updates soon, but no promises. Just when things start to quiet down, they tend to get real rowdy again.

This is probably the most 4CL-unrelated thing I will ever post BUT this is an absolute feat by polkadotjohnson doing incredible work to recover lost media(? I'm pretty sure it was considered lost media but I may be wrong) and honestly I'm blown away that they pulled this off

PLEASE READ

Do not upload this anywhere, especially not on YouTube.

This is an unfinished cut, not a final edit, not the final product. But it is here. And it was worth the hunt.

(click the link UNDER the picture)

(x)

As someone who loves to enjoy and absorb my favorite media, Neil Gaiman wrote a beautiful season with amazing actors who portrayed that scene wonderfully. As someone who is gay and sad, I want to key his car.

Happy Pride Month btw :) I made these because I'm trans + queer + a TAPS researcher at Fourcast Lab and all of those things are pretty neat! It's therefore my professional opinion that the all pasts, presents, futures, and alternate realities are queer :).

Pounding my fists on the ground I CAN'T BELIEVE THERE'S A NEW BOOK IN THE INKWORLD SERIES CORNELIA FUNKE YOU WILL ALWAYS BE FAMOUS TO ME!!!!

I think technically Dragon Rider was my first Funke book which led me to Inkheart, which I would say is the single book that has had the greatest impact on my life. I finally finished reading the entire trilogy while in college and I LOVED it, absolutely mind blowing that there's a new book in the series and I have it and I'm reading it!!!

The cover art is absolutely beautiful (I have the Karl James Mountford & Steve Wells design), reading it so far has been like returning to my first home, I am so excited and so happy.

Next level would be rereading the series in the original German (finding out Funke is German was probably also what initially sparked my interest in actually learning the language, moreso than even knowing that I come from a German background lmao).

I eventually want to get the entire series in hardcover variants - I was a child when I bought the original books and the years are definitely showing on the softcovers :').

Anyway Cornelia you mean everything to me.