The Dream? To Die And Become A Chaotic Trickster Spirit That People Can Summon To Do Their Vigilante

Me if I was different from how I am

Top-Tier Villain Motivations

They will be safe. It doesn't matter who else or what else burns as long as They will be safe.

I will be safe. The hunger and the cold will never touch me again.

Fuck any bitch who's prettier(/cooler/better-liked/better at making dumplings) than me.

Yes, Master

Love me. Love me. Love me. Love me. LOVE ME!

I know the terrible things these so-called "heroes" will do if I don't stop them (<- is absolutely wrong)

I don't want a better future, I want a better past!

No other way to get performance art funded these days

thinking again about vampirism as disability

i really like in fiction when they're like oh no!!! the bad guys are about to win!!! and Character Who Keeps Trying To Sacrifice Themself For The Greater Good is like. gentlemen i have an idea

Hardened cybernoir PI voiceover: …and then there are the old-timers, bent over their screens, chasing the endless scroll and the notification high. Can’t blame them, I guess. They grew up back before we knew how addictive the Internet is, poor bastards never stood a chance. Me, I time myself, never spend more than an hour at a time on screen. ‘Cept on bad days. *takes a doleful drag from an e-cigarette* On bad days I leave that timer off.

god if there was a book of forbidden spells I wouldn’t even hesitate

be honest. are you guys only hanging out with me because of the prophecy.

"So you collect ghosts?"

"Not intentionally. Ghosts are just drawn to me. I'm a ghost sponge. A ghost magnet. When I'm hired to check out a haunted house, I walk in and take all the ghosts with me when I leave. And if it turns out there's a demon the ghosts eat 'em. It's a very efficient system."

"...Say that last part again."

"The ghosts eat the demons. Like a pack of hyenas taking down a wildebeest. I've seen the ghost of a 90-year-old Ukrainian babushka tear apart a demon with her teeth."