shadytimemachineowl

Latest Posts by shadytimemachineowl

god's favourite ragdoll princess and the most miserable girl in the world

I redrawn

09.15.2023/01.01.2023

earlier this week Twitter user ppuccin0 tweeted about a fashion article that advised against tops with large floral patterns, saying the wearer was in danger of looking like a "ロマンティックおばさん," or a "romantic auntie." the tweet went viral with many agreeing that a "romantic auntie" sounded like a very nice thing to aspire to be, and some even posted illustrations or photos tagged with the trend

illustration by Toyota Yuu (author of Cherry Magic)

illustration by 141shkw/Sora Midori (author of Beautiful Curse)

photos by Takinami Yukari (author of Motokare Mania and Watashi-tachi wa Mutsuu Ren'ai ga Shitai or "We Want A Painless Romance")

illustration by m:m (mangaka of Matataki no End Roll)

illustration by ooinuai (mangaka of Onikui Kitan)

illustration by ma2 (mangaka of The Reason We Fall In Love)

BONUS:

Goethe-Institut did a web series a while back aimed at new arrivals in Germany and I like how it make sure to teach people that a lot of Germans are rude af

like, this is a genuine scene from an ep:

genuinely save me

On Love and Community

@princes-heels // ? // @inkskinned // mitski, my love mine all mine//@littlespoonsokka // @boymiffy // @2aminhouston // ? // @theviralwitch // @noodle // @criterioncollectiongirl // @fatsoupy // ? // @mjalti // george saunders, congratulations, by the way// @jb-blunk // @ponchopeligroso // @headspace-hotel // everything, everywhere, all at once(2022) //@cheruib // ? // ? // @tordenvejr

when people are like “he’s not even attractive you could find a guy that looks like him at any gas station” i’m like….. well you see there’s beauty everywhere actually

A spoon's only objective in life is to make soup go upwards, and it knows this. That's why when you put one under a running tap it blasts the water way high. The spoon thinks there's suddenly TONS of soup to deal with and it freaks out.

sometimes the knowledge you gain on twitter is both blessed and cursed

also his likes are sending me:

To The Substitute Art Teacher - Jordan Bolton

What is the difference between a cathedral and a physics lab? Are they not both saying: Hello?

Paolo Giordano, “The Solitude of Prime Numbers” / Antonio Tonelli / Laura Giplin, “A Toast to the Alchemists” / Dennis Overbye, “Music of the Heavens Turns Out to Sound a Lot Like a B Flat” / Carina Nebula / Marie Howe, “Singularity” / Alan Bean, “Is Anyone Out There?” / Bill Bryson, “A Short History of Nearly Everything” / Garrett Lee, “Canyon” / Whit Bronaugh, “The Trees That Miss The Mammoths”

Rare pity, mercy and compassion of the giants called humanity

cities skylines 2 (game) has come out and I keep seeing posts like "why are my pedestrians walking down the highway?" "why do cars keep turning left here when I've marked it as right turn only?" "helicopters keep going down the footpath?"

x

Okay so about the DB post. Do germans hate DB? Because danes hate DSB so so much (which i kind of think is unfair? at least in my experience) and we have this idea that DB is much better but this is the second time in like a month that i hear/see smth i think says the exact opposite. so can you like... talk a bit about DB? I'd like to know more 😅

Oh. OH. This might be the funniest ask I've ever gotten! 😂 Germans love to hate the DB! It is notoriously known for:

being late most of the time (especially on long distance rides)

therefore causing people to miss their connecting trains and reaching their destinations even later

just generally being bad at organisation and handling trouble on their routes

failing AC in summer

being surprised there's snow in winter

(the list goes on)

Generally, they're perceived to be a little ... incompetent at their job. When people have a journey coming up, they'll preemptively say something like: "wish me luck nothing goes wrong with my train ride". Mocking the DB is kind of a national sport and you'll find hundreds of memes about the DB's tardiness and bad handling of said tardiness. Here's a little selection from tumblr:

To be fair, German's do love to complain about everything and I guess it could be worse? Personally, I feel like other countries' train companies appear to be better managed, but that could be a case of "it's always greener on the other side"(?)

A love poem for the Last Universal Common Ancestor, the last of its kind and the first of our own at the beginning of the world.

My favourite things about the whole OceanGate disaster, in no particular order

That the vessel was originally named Cyclops II but the CEO renamed it to Titan, so it’s even BETTER than the Titanic

He also called it indestructible

The guy piloting the vessel is an ex-naval captain who has been on several titanic manned trips. But the guy is 77 rn

The billionaire from Pakistan is apparently friends with King Charles. You’d think for someone who’s besties with a guy whose job was literally being born, he’d care more about protecting his bloodline. Instead, he brought his 19 year old with him

Meanwhile, the stepson of one of the other billionaires (I think the British one named Hamish) went to a Blink 182 concert. When questioned about this, he basically went “my family would want me to go to the concert”. Today, minutes after posting about asking for thoughts and prayers, he @‘ed an OF model on Twitter, asking her to sit on his face

Bc it’s part of the safety demo & music track list for the trip, there is a VERY good chance that if there’s still some power left in the sub, it’s playing an instrumental of My Heart Will Go On on loop

Also, the vessel is a submersible bc it doesn’t meet literally any of the safety regulations to be called a submarine. Which the CEO knew, because he’s blatantly said that safety regulations get in the way of progress

The CEO once stated that he thought the future of humanity was not in space, but in the ocean when the surface becomes uninhabitable

Apparently the controller he’s using has REAL bad reviews because the connection always fails

These idiots paid $250k EACH but they had to pack their own lunch. Not even a damn charcuterie board

The pilot’s seat is on the toilet. So whenever someone needs to go, the pilot needs to move

There’s 1 window looking out. That’s it

It’s about the size of a minivan

The sub uses texts (but only to the CEO’s phone) to communicate, as well as StarLink, but they can only access that if they surface

The door literally cannot be opened from inside

There is a decent chance that at least 1 person has been cannibalized (my bet was the pilot since he’s not rich, but bc of the banging sounds, he’s probs not dead, so it may be the CEO)

They’re supposed to run out of oxygen tomorrow (22/06/23) at 7 am est, but tbh, the CO2 scrubber system will probs fail before that

The toilet is a plastic bag

This is only the 3rd time in 3 years the vessel has gone to the Titanic. Every other time, there’s an issue and they gotta turn back within like 4 hours

A lot of major news networks are trying to remain positive, but it’s a HILARIOUS comparison when you go to social media and every single person is like “yeah that shit is built like a cardboard boat, they’re fucked”

The company’s name is literally called OceanGate

“Link, I heard a girl’s voice call out to me when I fell. It felt oddly familiar..” “…”

[image id: a four-page comic. it is titled “do not stand at my grave and weep” after the poem by mary elizabeth frye. the first page shows paleontologists digging up fossils at a dig. it reads, “do not stand at my grave and weep. i am not there. i do not sleep.” page two features several prehistoric creatures living in the wild. not featured but notable, each have modern descendants: horses, cetaceans, horsetail plants, and crocodilians. it reads, “i am a thousand winds that blow. i am the diamond glints on snow. i am the sunlight on ripened grain. i am the gentle autumn rain.” the third page shows archaeopteryx in the treetops and the skies, then a modern museum-goer reading the placard on a fossil display. it reads, “when you awaken in the morning’s hush, i am the swift uplifting rush, of quiet birds in circled flight. i am the soft stars that shine at night. do not stand at my grave and cry.” the fourth page shows a chicken in a field. it reads, “i am not there. i did not die” / end id]

a comic i made in about 15 hours for my school’s comic anthology. the theme was “evolution”

Spatort but it’s a romcom

Euripides (Tr. Anne Carson) / @wholeheartedsuggestions / Jenny Slate / Euripides again

Jean Cocteau to Jean Marais, 1939 / E. E. Cummings / A Warm Day by Louise Gluck / "Looking East" by Sara Linda Poly / "In the Stillness" by Sara Linda Poly / Debasish Mridha / Picture is from the Pinterest / Albert Camus / Bring Me The Sunset In A Cup by Emily Dickinson

on lighthouses and fireflies

twitter reacts to greta thunberg destroying andrew tate

Genuinely 2022 has been an amazing year for tumblr memes

I mean we had so many good ones:

#girl ban

Horse Plinko

Blorbo from my shows

The variations upon blorbo(glup shitto, skrungly, poor little meow meow)

Eeby Deeby

It's me boy, the PS5 inside your brain

Live Slug reaction

Crabs

Eurovision Pussy

Tumblr Blaze Launch ft. Catholic evangelism and My immortal

Twitterpocalypse

Dracula Daily

Thank goodness he's straight actually

July(Shinso Abe's death, British gov collapse, Overthrow of the Sri Lankan government)

September 8th(Queen dead)

They unbanned tits- wait no they didn't

The Lettuce is Pm now

Twitterpocalyspe 2 he actually bought it this time

Tits are legal for real this time

2nd Anniversary of Nov 5th ft. Ryan Reynolds

And Now

Goncharov

In general something has definitely been in the water this year when we look back at the memes.

If you're not on Twitter following the fake Twitter Blue accounts drama... I'd say i feel bad for you but I'm providing you with the best screenshots here so you don't have to feel left out

@pscentral gif exchange for @bellamysgriffin <3333 

@usergif back to cool event: challenge #3 - layout or transition

community study group + love is here to stay by ella fitzgerald and louis armstrong