I Love My Cats So Much Because I Give Them Food And Affection And They Give Me A Look That Says Be Gone

*insert the "Who broke it?" meme here*

im always quoting this tweet and am shocked and appalled that it has under 5k likes

sorry for bitching and whining. unfortunately i have to or else ill start killing and eating people instead

i feel like some people don't understand the joy of creating things at 3am. like i can be writing or doing art or planning some shit at 3am and then after I've slept I'm like, 'wow, i actually did shit. I'm creative :D'

"it was in 2020" oh so like a year or so ago. a couple years. im sorry 5? did you just say five? five years ago ?

after Dick being less than happy with being Jason’s older brother for so many years, i think Jason finding out about Damian and deciding fuck it it’s HIS turn to terrorise a younger sibling would be so funny. Damian is so sick of this man. Jason doesn’t even get to try having a secret identity because upon seeing him in Gotham Damian gets so tired so quickly that he outs him without thinking.

Batman: who are you?

Red Hood: *opens his mouth to say some kind of mysterious threat*

Robin, landing on the roof: Batman, i have successfully- OH GOD FUCK JASON NO. NO. GO HOME. GO BACK TO MOM. NO. NO.

Batman:

Red Hood:

Robin, turning to Batman: TELL HIM TO GO AWAY HE’S GOING TO START PUTTING SALT IN MY WATER AGAIN

Batman: …Jason?

Red Hood: Damian you little bitch i’ll put hair dye in your shampoo for this

Cryptid!Alfred, who is actually immortal. Like, he cannot die for forever - he did once, during the war, and after that... for some reason, he kept coming back, completely without any additional magical help. He sometimes dies again, and then mysteriously comes back on the next morning, as if nothing happened. Bruce used to it at some point, so instead of asking questions (Alfred has no answers, anyway) he just pretends that it is normal. He gaslights kids to think the same. Like, what do you mean he died, Damian? No, he is alrightish. Look in the kitchen, he is making us breakfast. It probably was just a bad dream.

So, when Jason dies and gets back? Oh, Alfred knows his grandson has the same curse/blessing. Because it wasn't the Lazarus Pit that brought Jason back after all, but some strange, unexplainable force. Perhaps, both of them are just bound to end up as guardians, as warriors and protectors - that's why they keep coming back.

...Nevertheless, it doesn't make their family less... anxious about the whole thing. These two from the other side? Oh, they absolutely enjoy their immortal hang-out hours.

Jason: What was your funniest death?

Alfred: I am going to say... that one time, when I was teaching young master Bruce using a hunting rifle, and he accidentally shot me. I came back in fifteen minutes, and, of course, a poor thing was sobbing, but afterwards he was doing all chores for a month. Wonderful days.

Jason: Damn, poor Brucie... My funniest gotta be that one time, when Roy and I got drunk, and I legit jumped off the building because I thought I can fly. Roy had never got sober that quick.

(The first time Jason dies on the family's watch)

Dick, sobbing: Alfred... Alfred... He died! His neck was snapped! How can I live-

Alfred, casually leaning to snap Jason's neck again: Wake up, my boy.

Jason, dramatically gasping for air: Damn, who made me a massage, while I was sleeping?

Tim: What. The. Fuck.

saying “i want him” about the character but not in a romantic or sexual way . i just Require him i need to Obtain him

the black family are so catholic guilt coded in my head

if anyone has some good french dishes, please hit me up with recipes. my life would be yours